Jan’s Sweet Kisses
Estimated reading time: 3 minutes, 48 secondsEvery Kiss With Jan Was Memorable!
Kissing Jan was a joy! Each kiss was memorable, but two were very special. These were the first and the last ones. Every day, I wish upon a star and pray that I might have one more kiss from Jan. Alas, it is impossible. But memories of those kisses are so real I can taste their sweetness.
The First Kiss – November 11, 1973
Richard, we are leaving,” said Mark, my co-worker and friend. His voice came through loud and clear into the pod that had surrounded Jan and me since we arrived at her party. I thought Jan and I were alone and not at a noisy party until Mark spoke. We talked and laughed and truly enjoyed each other’s company.
I was between a rock and a hard place. I knew I should leave with my friends, but I also wanted to stay with Jan. I was afraid if I left, Jan and I might not meet again. I did not even have her phone number or know her last name.
When I arrived at the party, Jan asked, “Why didn’t you call me?” I told her I did not have her number and wondered why she had not called me. Jan took her wine glass and poured wine on my head, and I poured beer on her head.
We laughed and began a one-on-one conversation. I knew then that I had met the woman I would marry. Later she told me she knew I was the one when I entered the party.
When Mark told me they were leaving, I was not thinking about the next five minutes; my thoughts were on the next five weeks, five months, five years, and more, that Jan and I could live together and love each other.
I wanted to kiss her so she knew how I felt, but I was unsure if she would let me.
I only needed two fingers to count the number of women I had kissed. Years ago, the number of brushoffs had exceeded the total of all my fingers and toes.
I was worried that Jan had a boyfriend, and he might be at the party, and perhaps all she wanted was a friend to have a few laughs and pour wine on their head.
I saw my three friends from East Williamsburg gather their coats. The time to decide was now.
“I will meet you in the subway in a minute,” I said half-heartedly.
I rose slightly from my chair and leaned over toward her. I decided a kiss on her forehead would be safe. However, I kissed the top of her head. She smiled and lifted her head, and I kissed her forehead. She looked up and smiled at me. Our lips embraced, and we kissed for the first time. It was the sweetest kiss in the universe.
I never made it back to East Williamsburg that night.
The Last Kiss – May 3, 2021
Jan had been home since April 10 for hospice care. On May 3, I woke up and went downstairs for breakfast. I walked to the hospital bed and leaned over to kiss her forehead. I had always given her a good morning kiss for forty-eight years, and today was no different.
As I approached her lips, I said, “I love you!” Her voice was weak, but she responded clearly and without reservation, “I love you too!” We kissed. It was another sweet kiss with the love of my life, and I had no idea at that moment that it would be our last kiss.
I told her I would take the recycling and get the morning papers.
When I returned, I said, “Hello, my love!”
I had a light breakfast, and I went over to the bed. Standing by Jan, I realized that she had passed away.
Tears filled my eyes and rolled down my cheeks. My beard was soaking wet as if I had just showered.
I love her and miss her so very much! It was a blessing to be loved by her.
Sharing Jan’s Love Because Love Never Dies!
- Click here to read When Richard Met Jan!
- The second chapter, All I Ever Needed, was Jan’s Love.
- Another related post is Giving Thanks to Jan.
- Jan Lilien, Humanitarian
- Jan’s Wedding Ring
- Jan Clears the Deck
- Will You Marry Me?
- Our Last Conversation
- What About the Kids?
- Shadows from the Past
- Wedding Roadblocks
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial 4.0 International License.
After almost 48 years, I recently lost my wife, Jan Lilien. Like The Little Prince, Jan and I believed that “The most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or touched, they are felt with the heart.” This blog is a collection of my random thoughts on love, grief, life, and all things considered.