Jan’s Wedding Ring
Estimated reading time: 8 minutes, 11 seconds
Jan and I Still Wear Our Wedding Rings Because Love Never Dies
“I want my wedding ring,” Jan said as tears poured down her face. Less than an hour before her heartfelt request, the doctors had told her that there was nothing left that they could do for her, and she would be coming home for hospice care. According to the medical team, she only had a few weeks to live.
I took a deep breath and said, “I will make sure you have the ring before coming home.”
At that moment, I had no idea if that was possible, but I knew we only had three days to complete it.
Our son Jon went to the jewelers and got the tool to measure her ring finger on Thursday, and Martin Jewelers had hers and a minor adjustment to mine completed by Friday morning.
Our Wedding Rings
“Will you wear a wedding ring,” Jan asked me while we looked at them in a small jewelry store in East Williamsburg. I’ve never seen you wear any rings or jewelry.” “I love you so much and want to be your husband more than anything in the world,” I exclaimed. “I will wear it day and night until the end!”
We kissed as the clerk looked down at the rings.
Jan and I never had engagement rings and had to pay for our wedding. I was unemployed, and she would soon lose her job. Thus, our choices were minimal.
“How about these rings,” said the clerk.
The wedding rings were elementary gold bands with overlapping hearts. As we looked at them, Jan and I smiled at each other and knew these were the ones for us.
“Honey, our hearts are bound forever, and the rings have enough hearts to share our love with family, friends, and the community,” I said.
We decided to buy them without looking at any others. Jan had a credit card, which I did not, and she quickly took care of the payment.
After the wedding, many people would not consider them symbols of our marriage if they looked at our rings. Where are the diamonds? Are you sure you are married?
But we always appreciated our rings, symbolically conveying our marriage‘s uniqueness and importance.
Although rings, even those made of gold, are merely metal and cannot speak if ours could talk, they would shout from the rooftop – I love you, Jan! I love you, Richard! We love the world!
Richard Without His Wedding Ring
“Please, please do not take off my wedding ring,” I pleaded with the unseen nurse. After a car accident, I was on a spinal board in the emergency room. The nurse kept repeating that she had to remove the ring as my fingers were swelling. I feared not that I had a spinal injury but that she might lose my wedding band. I was crying so much that my words were unintelligible.
After eighteen years of marriage, the nurse tightly twisted the ring on my finger.
Please, no,” I screamed one last time.
The nurse stopped as someone came into the room.
“Sweetheart, how are you,” Jan said as she walked into the treatment room.
Now that Jan was with me, I was OK with the nurse removing my wedding band. It hurt a lot as she twisted it over my knuckle. As soon as it was off, the nurse gave it to Jan, who put it in her purse.
Jan stayed with me while they did tests to determine if I had no spinal injuries. When the test results were available, the doctor spoke with us. “There is no spinal damage, but you have a dislocated thumb, and we will need to put on a cast.”
My hand had to be in a cast for ten days. Since Jan married me, that was the only time I did not wear the ring she gave me. Although no one could tell if I was wearing my wedding ring under the cast, I knew I was not.
“Don’t worry, honey, I know you love me even if your left finger is without the ring,” Jan reassured me.
After almost 48 years, I recently lost my wife, Jan Lilien. Like The Little Prince, Jan and I believed that “The most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or touched, they are felt with the heart.” This blog is a collection of my random thoughts on love, grief, life, and all things considered.
This is beautiful; thanks for sharing. Each page brought a new round of tears of appreciation for the love that the two of you shared.