Jan’s Silk Scarf

Estimated reading time: 10 minutes, 52 seconds

The Silk Scarf, Like Life,
Is Priceless

“I love this scarf,” Jan exclaimed with a smile more beautiful than every rainbow I had ever seen. “But it is so expensive.” I tried to explain that it was not that expensive once you converted Canadian to American dollars. “But I have nothing for you for our anniversary,” she protested. 

“All I need is your love,” I explained without success. “I do not need a gift.” 

Celebrate Jan

We thanked the boutique shop owner in Toronto’s distillery district and continued walking on the cobble-stoned street to look at other stores. Jan found a shoe store and said she wanted to go inside to see if she could find any boots she might like. 

Usually, I would go with her, despite my lack of interest in shopping for shoes. But this time, I decided not to.

“My love, I think I might just stay outside in the fresh air if that is OK?”

As soon as she entered the store, I walked to the left a few yards and then crossed the street to the store we had been in previously. 

“I was just here with my wife a few minutes ago.”

“Yes, I remember you.”

The scarf the beautiful lady was looking at?

Yes, I answered as I pulled out my Amex card and handed it to her.

In only a few moments, I had the scarf in the bag I had been carrying. 

I quickly retraced my steps and found myself in front of the shoe store just as Jan exited. 

“Nice boots, but I did not like any of them enough to buy them.”

Anniversary Dinner

Maybe we did dine here once before,” Jan conceded without fully accepting that her original opinion that we had never been in this restaurant was incorrect. But I am sure it was not for an anniversary dinner.” We had dined here for our thirty-ninth wedding anniversary, but I was not interested in correcting her.

“I am just happy to be celebrating our anniversary.”

The waiter came to the table and asked about drinks. 

“Do you a dry white wine.”

“Yes.”

“How dry.”

“I will bring you two samples.”

“And for you, sir?”

“Water is fine.”

The waiter returned with the drinks, and we ordered dinner. 

“My sweetheart, a toast to forty-four wonderful years together! May we celebrate a hundred more!

I am not sure I will live that long.

“However, many years we have, I love you more than the day I met you, and I cherish every moment we have together.”

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Wintering: The Power of Rest and Retreat in Difficult Times

Read: October 2021

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Wintering: The Power of Rest and Retreat in Difficult Times

by Katherine May

Wintering: The Power of Rest and Retreat in Difficult Times by Katherine May is “an intimate, revelatory book exploring the ways we can care for and repair ourselves when life knocks us down.”

Two quotes that resonated with me were:

That’s what grief is – a yearning for that one last moment of contact that would settle everything.

We are in the habit of imagining our lives to be linear, a long march from birth to death in which we mass our powers, only to surrender them again, all the while slowly losing our youthful beauty. This is a brutal untruth. Life meanders through the woods. We have seasons when we flourish and seasons when the leaves fall upon us, revealing our bare bones. Given time they grow again.

May writes in a clear voice that conveys the importance of accepting the cycles of life instead of fighting them.

Sometimes you slip through the cracks: unforeseen circumstances like an abrupt illness, the death of a loved one, a breakup, or a job loss can derail a life. These periods of dislocation can be lonely and unexpected. For May, her husband fell ill, her son stopped attending school, and her own medical issues led her to leave a demanding job. Wintering explores how she not only endured this painful time but embraced the singular opportunities it offered.

A moving personal narrative shot through with lessons from literature, mythology, and the natural world, May’s story offers instruction on the transformative power of rest and retreat. Illumination emerges from many sources: solstice celebrations and dormice hibernation, C.S. Lewis and Sylvia Plath swimming in icy waters, and sailing arctic seas.

Ultimately Wintering invites us to change how we relate to our own fallow times. May models an active acceptance of sadness and finds nourishment in deep retreat, joy in the serene beauty of winter, and encouragement in understanding life as cyclical, not linear. A secular mystic, May forms a guiding philosophy for transforming the hardships that arise before the ushering in of a new season.

I recommend this book without reservation.


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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Berlin: A Novel by Bea Setton

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The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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