Help Me Help, Jan
Estimated reading time: 10 minutes, 41 secondsBrown Squishy Chair
I want to sit in the chair, not be in bed,” Jan commanded as we exited the bathroom. Her favorite chair was the brown squishy chair. It was comfortable, but could she get up from the chair if she needed to go to the toilet again?
I complied and helped her sit on the chair.
“I love you! Is there anything you need?”
Jan shook her head.
It was almost sunrise as I sat in the green rocking chair across from her.
“I need to call Mike to help me help you.”
“No,” she mumbled.
“Why not?”
“He will not come….”
“I am sure he will help If I ask him.”
“No.”
“What about one of the soul sisters?”
“I don’t want to bother them.”
Frustrated, I opened the blinds to let the morning light into the apartment.
“I need someone to help me help you.”
Jan did not respond.
Call for Help
“I need to go,” Jan announced. I stood up next to her. “I am going to move the ottoman and lower your legs. Then I will try to help you to stand up.” Even as I said those words, I could feel the pain in my back surge like a high-voltage charge of electricity racing through my body.
Lean on me,” I instructed Jan.
She could not move, and the only option was for me to lift her off the chair.
I tried to lift her but could not move her.
My lower back hurt so much that I could not straighten myself as I stood by her.
I reached for my iPhone and typed an urgent message.
Mike and Elyssa, can you call me as soon as possible. I need your help!
Friday, April 2, 11 AM
“I reached out for help.”
I accepted Jan’s non-response as an affirmative answer.
My iPhone’s ring jolted me.
“We are on our way,” said Elyssa. “What do you need help with?”
I inched my way at a 45-degree angle into the hallway and explained the events of the last dozen hours.
After almost 48 years, I recently lost my wife, Jan Lilien. Like The Little Prince, Jan and I believed that “The most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or touched, they are felt with the heart.” This blog is a collection of my random thoughts on love, grief, life, and all things considered.