Wedding Roadblocks

Estimated reading time: 16 minutes, 1 second

Will Any Rabbi Marry Us?

Hello,” Jan said as she picked up the phone and spoke to her Mother. “We are doing OK. How are you and my Dad doing?” Based on the portion of the conversation I was hearing, Jan’s conversation with her parents was going well. But Jan and I knew it was the beginning of May, and we were running out of time to find a Rabbi who would marry us. 

So he said no as well,” Jan said in a calm, matter-of-fact tone. “Are there other people we can meet with?”

I hugged Jan to reassure her.

No, we do not have any other potential options,” said her Mother despite Jan having the headset next to her ear. 

Jan responded and said we could look in NY for a Rabbi. 

Would they or could they do a wedding in NJ?

“Until we meet with them, we will not know.”

Jan said we would ask once we meet with a NY Rabbi. 

“Wherever the wedding is, we need our friends to be able to attend and celebrate with us,” Jan stated.

It seemed like the conversation was going in the same pattern as the prior ones. I stopped hugging Jan so I could kiss her lips. I walked back to the kitchen to finish the dishes. 

No, we cannot postpone the wedding,” Jan said as her voice rose in volume.

I turned the water off and walked back to be next to Jan. This time, she pulled the phone away from her ear so I could hear better. 

“We have talked about and believe that is the best option. I understand you think love is the most crucial factor, but it is not!

I whispered in Jan’s ear, “Ask if we can discuss this when we visit them for Mother’s Day.

As soon as I spoke those words, I worried that waiting until we were there would be like announcing we were getting married on her mom’s birthday.

Can we talk about this when we are together this weekend,” Jan asked.

Her Mother firmly pushed back. 

“Janice, we only do what we believe is best for you. I know you think you love Richard, but marriage is a lifetime commitment. Rushing and making a mistake can cause so many problems.”

Jan was about to cry. I held her in my arms and said quietly into her ear, “End the conversation.”

“I need to go. We can talk about it on Sunday.”

I took the phone, placed it on the table, and hugged Jan so hard she complained.

“I need to be held by you but a little less tightly.”

I loosened my hold and reminded her that I loved her more than anything in the universe. She kept trying to speak, and I persisted in covering her lips with mine. Finally, I let go so we could sit next to each other. 

What do you think about the suggestion of postponing the wedding?”

“We are not going to postpone the wedding. We will find someone to marry us. Richard, I love you and want to spend the rest of my life with you.


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Birnam Wood: A Novel

Read: March 2023

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Birnam Wood: A Novel

by Eleanor Catton

Birnam Wood: A Novel by Eleanor Catton is a gripping psychological thriller from the Booker Prize-winning author of The Luminaries. Birnam Wood is Shakespearean in its wit, drama, and immersion in character. A brilliantly constructed consideration of intentions, actions, and consequences is an unflinching examination of the human impulse to ensure our survival. I highly recommend this novel.

The review in The New Yorker and a personal recommendation made this novel my next read.

At first, the conflict between the guerrilla gardening group and a wealthy American billionaire seemed like a story that had been told too many times. However, Ms. Catton has created a page-turner that is a must-read during our current climate emergency and the growing income gap. Although the end is foretold, it may surprise the reader while confirming the conviction that we must find an alternate way forward.

The Goodreads summary provides an overview,

Five years ago, Mira Bunting founded a guerrilla gardening group: Birnam Wood. An undeclared, unregulated, sometimes-criminal, sometimes-philanthropic gathering of friends, this activist collective plants crops wherever no one will notice: on the sides of roads, in forgotten parks, and in neglected backyards. For years, the group has struggled to break even. Then Mira stumbles on an answer, a way to finally set the group up for the long term: a landslide has closed the Korowai Pass, cutting off the town of Thorndike. A natural disaster has created an opportunity, a sizable farm seemingly abandoned.

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The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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Roses, in the Mouth of a Lion

Read: January 2023

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Roses, in the Mouth of a Lion

by Bushra Rehman

Roses, in the Mouth of a Lion by Bushra Rehman is a book I encouraged friends to read before I finished reading it. I highly recommend this page-turner novel, which is punctuated by both joy and loss, full of ’80s music and beloved books. Roses, in the Mouth of a Lion is a must-read coming-of-age story of Razia Mirza, a girl struggling to reconcile her heritage and faith with her desire to be true to herself.

Razia Mirza, the protagonist, leaps off the page or screen. Bushra Rehman describes Corona with prose that is vibrant and clear-eyed. When I lived in Brooklyn, I had, on a few occasions, meetings in Corona a decade before the novel’s setting. Reading the book made me remember that time and place and understand intuitively the world that Razia was struggling to reconcile.

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The Goodreads summary provides an overview,

Razia Mirza grows up amid the wild grape vines and backyard sunflowers of Corona, Queens, with her best friend, Saima, by her side. Razia’s heart is broken when a family rift drives the girls apart. She finds solace in Taslima, a new girl in her close-knit Pakistani-American community. They embark on a series of small rebellions: listening to scandalous music, wearing miniskirts, and cutting school to explore the city.

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The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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Read: June 2024

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Reunion: A Novel

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Today, I immersed myself in the distinct world of Reunion: A Novel by Elise Juska. This enthralling narrative, crafted by the esteemed author of The Blessings, transports us alongside three middle-aged friends as they live during a college reunion in coastal Maine. Reunion, my forty-eighth read this year and my 250th since January 15, 2019, stands out for its compelling storytelling.

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Beautifully observed and insightful, Reunion is a page-turning novel about the highs and lows of friendship from a writer at the height of her powers. Elise Juska’s skill in portraying the intricate dynamics of friendship will leave you intrigued and wanting more.

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The Liberators

Read: November 2023

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The Liberators

by E. J. Koh

I started reading The Liberators by E. J. Koh today. The book is a debut novel about Insuk, a 24-year-old Daejeon, a South Korean college student who falls in love with her classmate, Sungho. They get married with her father’s blessing. Still, things take a turn for the worse as the military dictatorship, martial law, and nationwide protests bring the country to the brink of collapse, and Insuk’s father mysteriously disappears.

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The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Regarding gifts made this month, I will match dollar for dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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The Immortal Irishman

by Timothy Egan

 

The Immortal Irishman: The Irish Revolutionary Who Became an American Hero by Timothy Egan is a book I started reading as The Worst Hard Timesincluded the first fifty pages.

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Read: November 2024

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Us Fools: A Novel

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