The Day Jan and I Married!

Estimated reading time: 15 minutes, 58 seconds

Jan’s Wedding Vows

And in the name of love, Richard Brown, I promise to love you, cherish you, respect you, and honor you in all the different times of our lives and as long as we both possess life.
To allow you the space, you need to be yourself, a separate person, and yet to try and unite us as two people together.
To support and aid you, honestly and realistically, and to allow me to be helped in the same way. 
To understand, accept, and respect you and our differences, and yet try and bridge those differences to enable us to change and grow together.
All of this I pledge on this day of our marriage, and from this time forth.

Jan’s Wedding vows, August 9, 1975

Once Jan finished her vows, she placed my wedding ring on my finger and said, “With this ring, I thee wed.”

Richard’s Wedding Vows

Today is the time for our marriage. Before our families, friends, neighbors, and God, I promise to you, Janice Caren Lilien, not only to love you but to honor, cherish, and respect you all the days and nights of our lives. 
I pledge to both encourage and assist you in being true to yourself even as we make the difficult struggle to unite ourselves initially as a family of two.
I pledge to not only be your husband but your friend, always attempting as best as I can to accept and understand our similarities and differences.
All this I pledge to you on this day of our marriage and from this time forth.

RICHARD’S WEDDDING VOWS, AUGUST 9, 1975

When I finished my vows, I took a deep breath to hold back the tears forming in my throat. I then placed Jan’s wedding ring on her hand and said louder than my vows, “With this ring Janice Caren Lilien, I thee wed now and forever!”

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29 comments add your comment

  1. What a great story as well as funny…You described the wedding as if it happened yesterday!!

    • Hugo, thank you very much for commenting on The Day Jan and I Married.

      In my mind, the day Jan and I married was, in fact, yesterday. It was an essential public statement to family and friends that the love Jan and I shared was not an infatuation but a long-term commitment. Jan’s love transformed me and made me a better person.

      Like life itself, love can be fragile. When I write about our early days, I must accept that our love and marriage might not have happened.

        My commitment to my imaginary girlfriend kept me from pursuing Jan even though I felt a strong and unique attraction to Jan when I met her at the December 1972 VISTA Training.

        Jan could have decided that her parent’s opposition was enough to convince her not to marry me.

        Jan might have had a boyfriend when I went to her party, and I would have only a casual friend.

      If any of those had occurred, I might have been a lifelong bachelor, or perhaps the imaginary girlfriend would not have left me.

      As I wrote, the highest honor of my life was and always will be being Jan’s husband. Love never dies, and my passion for Jan will never end.

      The amateur writing I do comes from my heart and soul and flows thru my fingers like the tides in the Bay of Fundy.

      Hugo, I would write more often if I had more readers like you.

      I appreciate your friendship and support during the most challenging chapter of my life.

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The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Regarding gifts made this month, I will match dollar for dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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