Honeymoon Camping!

Estimated reading time: 15 minutes, 19 seconds

Fire and Rain in the Gap

This looks like a perfect place for a campsite,” I said to Jan as we looked over a large open field on the top of a bluff overlooking the Delaware River on the New Jersey side. I had parked the VW, where it was clear that other cars had spent the evening. We opened the car doors, felt the mild, almost cool air, and knew it was the right place for us. It is a beautiful spot for the first night of our honeymoon.

I walked around and put my arms around her. 

“Nothing is as beautiful as you are, my love!”

We were setting up our tiny orange tent and giggling uncontrollably.

“What do you think of our home away from home,” I inquired.

“I can’t wait to be in bed with you, my love.”

We have to cook before sundown.”

As the fire embers cooled enough so we could cook, I dug a trench around the tent even though it was on a raised pad.

“Why are you digging a trench?”

“I was a Boy Scout, and you have to be prepared.”

Jan snickered.

I hope you will be prepared for a lovely dinner and a fun time in our tent tonight!

I blushed so much that if anyone had walked into our campsite, they would have had trouble distinguishing between my hair and my face. 

“Not that it stopped us before, but we are married, and all I suggested is doing it now as a married couple,” Jan said as she smiled at me.

Dinner was not a gourmet meal but the first meal we had prepared together since our wedding. It was still difficult to believe that it was only two days since we were married. Sunday, we spent with my parents, grandmother, sister, and nephew at a Mets game. 

We had taken them to the airport this morning and left on our honeymoon this afternoon. The drive to the campsite was our first hour alone as a married couple.

With the approach of twilight, I offered to clean the dishes if Jan would get the sleeping bags ready in the tent.

I saw thunderclouds on the horizon as I washed and dried the cooking pots and utensils. I had not heard any reports of storms but was glad I had dug the trench around the tent.

Crawling into the tent, I noticed that Jan had unzipped the two sleeping bags. They were laid on top of each other, making it possible for us to sleep together. 

“My love, you were serious about tonight!”

As much as I wanted to stay in the tent and finally and officially consummate our marriage, I suggested we take a walk before sundown.

Walking on the dirt road we had driven into the camp, we saw other couples and families with more gigantic tents or RVs. 

I am happy we have our little pup tent,” Jan observed. 

“We will be fine. We have very little money but unlimited love.”

The path led to an overlook of the Delaware Water Gap. The river was narrow, and the water moved slowly. The sun appeared to be setting just across the river from where we stood. 

The last few moments of daylight were playing peek-a-boo with the darkening storm clouds. The fire-red flames of the fading sun seemed to be trying to push the impending storm away. But the storm clouds kept getting darker, and soon the sun disappeared.

It Is the first sunset we have seen as a married couple.

Jan put her arms around me. We kissed with an abandon and passion that belied the fact that we had been a couple for almost two years. 

It is the first of thousands we will witness together and seal our love with a kiss,” she whispered.

As the sun began to disappear, we walked hand in hand to our campsite.

The thunderheads, dark and ominous, filled the sky as we returned to the campsite. 

The weather report I checked when we left Brooklyn did not predict stormy weather.

“We will be OK, as we will be together.”

I let Jan enter the tent first. 

“I will be in in a minute or two.”

I checked that the tent was secure, took the shovel, and made the trench around the tent deeper.

I was beginning to worry that we could be in for stormy weather instead of Jan’s planned nocturnal activities. After I completed the inspection, I knew we were as prepared as possible. 

After placing the shovel in the car and other gear to stay dry, I returned to our tent. As soon as I had zipped the tent closed, I kissed the love of my life

With limited space, we fumbled as we undressed each other. Jan believed we, or I, had consummated our wedding the night we were married. But I knew better and wanted tonight to be one we would never forget.

Facing each other in the minimal space, we kissed and hugged until the first lightning bolt hit the ground. It was so close that the thunderclap rolled the tent walls only a few seconds after the flash of light. 

We sat up and held each other tightly.

A monsoon-like downpouring of rain began to fall, and the tent walls became damp and cold.

Laying down, we held each other so tightly that we could barely breathe.

“It can’t last much longer,” I mumbled unconvincingly. 

As the winds intensified, we heard a tree falling

“Should we go to the car?”

“Not sure where we would be safer.”

Jan seemed to accept my opinion, which had no supporting evidence. 

“Plus, if we left, with the wet walls of the tent, I am not sure we could get dressed.”

With the storm, would anyone notice we were in our birthday suits?

We both laughed at the thought of two newlyweds running naked to their car.

“It is probably better that we stay where we are.”

“At least we are dry and together.” 

Instead of getting better or leaving our small plot of heaven on earth, the storm continued and grew stronger. 

We agreed not to make love during the storm without saying a word. Each lightning bolt and body-shaking thunderclap kept our minds focused on survival, not on our honeymoon bed.

Jan put her head in my nook.

“Jan, I love you!”

“Me too!”

With each bolt of lightning and thunderclap, Jan’s body jumped. I held her tighter each time and whispered words of love in her ears. 

As much as I knew we were as prepared as possible for the storm, I knew we were at more risk than I wanted to convey to her. 

I whispered a silent prayer as Jan fell asleep. God, protect us, and we will forever be grateful

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Corey Fah Does Social Mobility

Read: February 2024

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Corey Fah Does Social Mobility

by Isabel Waidner

Today, I began reading “Corey Fah Does Social Mobility: A Novel” by Isabel Waidner. The book is about Corey Fah, a writer whose novel has just won the Fictionalization of Social Evils prize. Despite this achievement, the trophy and funds with the award still need to be in reach. The novel celebrates radical queer survival and challenges false notions of success.

Corey, their partner Drew, and their pet spider, Bambi Pavok, embark on a quest to find an elusive trophy with neon-beige color and UFO-like qualities. This journey takes them back to their childhood in the forest and includes a stint on a reality TV show. While facing the horrors of wormholes and time loops, Corey discovers the difference between a prize and a gift in a complex way.

Following the Goldsmiths Prize–winning Sterling Karat Gold, Isabel Waidner’s bold and buoyant new novel is about coming into one’s own, the labor of love, the tendency of history to repeat itself, and what ensues when a large amount of cultural capital is suddenly deposited in a place it has never been before.

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My Brilliant Friend

Read: July 2024

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My Brilliant Friend

by Elena Ferrante

Today, I delved into Elena Ferrante‘s captivating novel My Brilliant Friend. This acclaimed book hailed as the #1 Book of the 21st Century by the New York Times, weaves a timeless tale of the enduring bond between two women from Naples. With its rich character development and evocative historical setting, it stands alongside other character-driven works of literary fiction.

Beginning in the 1950s in a poor but vibrant neighborhood on the outskirts of Naples, Elena Ferrante’s four-volume story spans almost sixty years. The main characters, the fiery and unforgettable Lila and the bookish narrator, Elena, are bound by an enduring friendship that withstands the test of time and life’s challenges. This first novel in the series follows Lila and Elena from their fateful meeting as ten-year-olds through their school years and adolescence, evoking a sense of enduring connection and emotional resonance.

Through the lives of these two women, Ferrante weaves a compelling narrative of a neighborhood, a city, and a country undergoing profound transformation. These societal changes, in turn, also reshape the relationship between the two women, adding a rich layer of historical and cultural context to the story. This context will enrich your reading experience and provide a deeper understanding of the characters and their journey.

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How the Word is Passed

Read: December 2021

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How the Word Is Passed: A Reckoning with the History of Slavery Across America

by Clint Smith

How the Word Is Passed: A Reckoning with the History of Slavery Across America by Clint Smith. This book was a gift from my son Jon. The New York Times selected How the Word is Passed as one of the best books published this year. Beginning in his hometown of New Orleans, Clint Smith leads the reader on an unforgettable tour of monuments and landmarks—those that are honest about the past and those that are not—that offer an intergenerational story of how slavery has been central in shaping our nation’s collective history, and ourselves.

How the Word is Passed is one of the best books I have read in 2021. I had read an excerpt in The Atlantic on the Whitney Plantation, one of the only former plantations devoted to preserving the experience of the enslaved people whose lives and work sustained it. Like most of us, I had placed the book on my to-read list, where it remained lost in the cobwebs. Fortunately, my son Jon purchased the book for me.

Secondly, the book rekindled my long-lost dream of being an American Studies professor. As soon as Jan and I met, I dropped plans to leave Brooklyn and start graduate school in the fall of 1974. I made that decision primarily because of how much I loved Jan. But it was also partly that I did not have a clear vision of what my life would be like as a professor. The book provided clear examples of people like Yvonne Holden at The Whitney Plantation redefining history to be more accurate and inclusive. I probably could not have done as well as she did, but I can now see that it might have resulted in a career for me that could have been impactful.

Goodreads provides this overview for those who still need to be convinced to read this book.

It is the story of the Monticello Plantation in Virginia, the estate where Thomas Jefferson wrote letters espousing the urgent need for liberty while enslaving over 400 people on the premises. It is the story of the Whitney Plantation, one of the only former plantations devoted to preserving the experience of the enslaved people whose lives and work sustained it. It is the story of Angola Prison in Louisiana, a former plantation named for the country from which most of its enslaved people arrived and which has since become one of the most gruesome maximum-security prisons in the world. And it is the story of Blandford Cemetery, the final resting place of tens of thousands of Confederate soldiers.

In a deeply researched and transporting exploration of the legacy of slavery and its imprint on centuries of American history, How the Word Is Passed illustrates how some of our country’s most essential stories are hidden in plain view-whether in places we might drive by on our way to work, holidays such as Juneteenth, or entire neighborhoods—like downtown Manhattan—on which the brutal history of the trade in enslaved men, women and children has been deeply imprinted.

Informed by scholarship and brought alive by the story of people living today, Clint Smith’s debut work of nonfiction is a landmark work of reflection and insight that offers a new understanding of the hopeful role that memory and history can play in understanding our country.

How the Word is Passed is one of the best books I have read this year and many prior ones. I encourage you to read it and share your comments.

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Ripe: A Novel

Read: July 2023

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Ripe: A Novel by Sarah Rose Etter

by Sarah Rose Etter

I started reading “Ripe: A Novel” by Sarah Rose Etter today. This book has won awards and is highly praised by Roxane Gay for its uniqueness and brilliance. It tells the story of a woman in Silicon Valley who must choose how much she will sacrifice for success. Fans of “My Year of Rest and Relaxation” and “Her Body and Other Parties” will enjoy this surreal tale.

Cassie has worked at a Silicon Valley start-up for a year but feels stuck in a corporate nightmare. The long hours, toxic bosses, and unethical projects are taking a toll on her. She has a hard time reconciling the stark contrast between the abundance of wealth and the poverty and suffering that exist side by side in the city. Cassie observes Ivy League graduates complaining about snack options in a conference room overlooking unhoused people bathing in the bay. She’s witnessed start-up burnouts who throw themselves in front of commuter trains and men who light themselves on fire in the streets.

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The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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Keepers of the House

Read: May 2021

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The Keepers of the House

by Shirley Ann Grau

The Keepers of the House by Shirley Ann Grau is a book that I read a portion of for a college class, but for reasons that I cannot now remember never got around to reading it from cover to cover. In the early stages of grief, I found a copy in our bookshelf and said, let me read it now. It was a decision that I did not regret.

Having grown up in the American South, the book resonated with me, as did the sections I read fifty years ago. It’s a many-layered indictment of racism and rage that is as terrifying as it is wise.

As someone who likes history and values the importance of place, the book’s focus on the continued ownership of the same land since the early 1800s by the Howland’s provided a broad historical perspective. Abigail Howland has learned many important family legacies, but not all.

However, when William’s, her grandfather, relationship with Margaret Carmichael, a black housekeeper, is revealed to the community, the racism and fury boil over. Abigail chooses to get even with the town her family built by punishing them.

The Keepers of the House is a book that I wish I had read in its entirety half a century ago. Having read it now, I recommend it to all who care about life and community.

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The School for Good Mothers

Read: February 2023

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The School for Good Mothers

by Jessamine Chan

The School for Good Mothers by Jessamine Chan is a searing page-turner that is also a transgressive novel of ideas about the perils of “perfect” upper-middle-class parenting; the violence enacted upon women by both the state and, at times, one another; the systems that separate families; and the boundlessness of love, The School for Good Mothers introduces, in Frida, an everywoman for the ages.

Although it has been forty-two years since I became a parent, I still remember the anxiety of being a father. What if I could not be a good dad? Fortunately, I never had a bad like Frida. or lived in an age where parents would be sent to “a Big Brother-like institution that measures the success or failure of a mother’s devotion.”

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The School for Good Mothers had been on my book list since the middle of last year. I recommend it without reservations! Jan would have already read it, and we would be debating its fine points.

The Goodreads summary provides an overview,

In this taut and explosive debut novel, one lapse in judgement lands a young mother in a government reform program where custody of her child hangs in the balance.

Frida Liu is struggling. She doesn’t have a career worthy of her Chinese immigrant parents’ sacrifices. She can’t persuade her husband, Gust, to give up his wellness-obsessed younger mistress. Only with Harriet, their cherubic daughter, does Frida finally attain the perfection expected of her. Harriet may be all she has, but she is just enough.

Until Frida has a very bad day.

The state has its eyes on mothers like Frida. The ones who check their phones, letting their children get injured on the playground; who let their children walk home alone. Because of one moment of poor judgment, a host of government officials will now determine if Frida is a candidate for a Big Brother-like institution that measures the success or failure of a mother’s devotion.

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Using dark wit to explore the pains and joys of the deepest ties that bind us, Chan has written a modern literary classic.


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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