True Love Never Dies!

Estimated reading time: 10 minutes, 52 seconds

Alone but Together

I was sure she had left, or maybe I had only imagined she had been in the hall. Frustrated, I was about to leave the event when I saw her sitting with some of my colleagues. Did she tell them, or did they figure out who she was? Thanks for all you did to make tonight a wonderful event,” I said to my co-workers.”If you can excuse me, I wanted to talk to my good friend whom I have not seen in decades.

A good friend,” Marie snorted. “I think she was your wife!”

Glaring, I retorted,” I would like a few moments alone.”

After they left, I pulled out a chair and sat beside Jan.

“Thanks for attending the dinner.”

I would not have wanted to miss your retirement?”

My heart fluttered, and I was momentarily and uncharacteristically speechless. 

Taking a deep breath, I attempted to expel the fright that was about to devour me.

I never thought we would ever see each other again. I am thrilled to see you.”

Jan laughed. “I got that impression from your interview.”

We chatted about the insignificant parameters of our lives, where we lived, worked, etc.

I steered the conversation like a moped around steel pylons as I wanted to enjoy my time with Jan and avoid specifics about her relationship status or relitigating the breakup.

Grandpa, my parents say it Is time to go home,” interjected my lovely granddaughter.”

I hugged and kissed the top of her head. As I did, I remembered that was where I first kissed Jan.

Let me introduce you to Jan, a friend of mine,” I said to my granddaughter. Jan, this is Janice, my granddaughter.”

Nice to meet you,” Jan said as she held her hand to my grandchild, who took it and imitated my two-handed handshake.

Looking at Jan, I uttered words I did not want to say. 

I need to go home, but if you want to or have time, we can meet for coffee, albeit I still do not drink it, and continue chatting.”

“Maybe…”

Before she could finish the sentence, Janice pulled me up from my chair, and my heart sunk into the deep blue sea. 

“So you had a child?”

“No, he adopted my mom.”

“It is a little more complicated than that,” I replied. 

Janice and I had walked about a dozen steps when I reached into my jacket and pulled out my new business cards with my home address, phone, and social media links.

Kiddo, can you do me a favor and give this to Jan?”

She grabbed the card and floated across the floor like a ballerina to hand the card to Jan.

When she caught up with me, Janice said far louder than I would have liked, “Is she the woman I am named for?”


Jan Needs Me Now is the second installment.


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North Woods: A Novel

Read: December 2023

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North Woods: A Novel

by Daniel Mason

I recommend reading “North Woods: A Novel” by Daniel Mason today. It is the story of two young lovers who leave a Puritan colony and find shelter in a humble cabin in the woods. They are unaware this cabin will become home to a succession of extraordinary human and nonhuman characters. “North Woods” has been named one of the ten best books of 2023 by both the New York Times Book Review and the Washington Post.

An English soldier who was destined for glory decides to abandon the battlefields of the New World to dedicate himself to growing apples. Meanwhile, a pair of spinster twins navigate war and famine, dealing with envy and desire. A crime reporter discovers an ancient mass grave but soon realizes the earth refuses to give up its secrets. In the same town, a lovelorn painter, a sinister con man, a stalking panther, and a lusty beetle are all present. As the inhabitants confront the wonder and mystery around them, they realize that the dark, raucous, and beautiful past is still alive.

This remarkable and highly imaginative novel by Pulitzer Prize finalist Daniel Mason is full of love, insanity, humor, and optimism. North Woods follows the cycles of history, nature, and language to reveal the numerous, enchanting ways we are connected to our surroundings, history, and each other. It is not just a memorable story about secrets and fates but a perspective on the world that poses the timeless question: How can we continue living even after we are gone?


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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All Fours: A Novel

Read: May 2024

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All Fours: A Novel

by Miranda July

Today, I started reading All Fours: A Novel by Miranda July. A semi-famous artist announces her plan to drive cross-country from LA to NY. Thirty minutes after leaving her husband and child at home, she spontaneously exits the freeway, checks into a nondescript motel, and immerses herself in an entirely different journey.

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Read: May 2021

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The Little Prince

by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry is often referred to as a children’s book. I read it as a child and later read it to my children. After Jan died, I picked it up again and read it more than once.

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Read: August 2024

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The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao

by Junot Diaz

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Worry: A Novel

Read: May 2024

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Worry: A Novel

by Alexandra Tanner

Today, I began reading Alexandra Tanner‘s debut novel, Worry: A Novel. The New Yorker praised it as “dryly witty,” The New York Times Book Review called it “fabulously revealing.” The story follows two siblings-turned-roommates who try to navigate an absurd world on the verge of calamity. It explores existentialism and sisterhood in a Seinfeldian style.

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Worry is a darkly funny and deadpan portrayal of two sisters struggling through anxiety and uncertainty in America. A bold new voice in contemporary fiction writes it.

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Fourteen Days: A Collaborative Novel

Read: February 2024

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Fourteen Days: A Collaborative Novel

by Authors Guild

I started reading Fourteen Days: A Collaborative Novel today. It is set in a Lower East Side tenement during the early days of the COVID-19 lockdowns. Fourteen Days is a unique collaborative novel from the Authors Guild with a twist. A different, prominent literary voice has secretly written each character in this diverse cast of New York neighbors. These voices range from Margaret Atwood and Celeste Ng to Tommy Orange and John Grisham.

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