Spread the Light!

Estimated reading time: 5 minutes, 21 seconds

Everyday is Beautiful, and We Need to Cherish Life!

“Watch out, Maggie!” Joe exclaimed as his energetic dog jumped on my leg, threatening to muddy my clothes. Despite the interruption, I couldn’t help but smile at Maggie’s playful antics. I gently petted her head, feeling her soft fur beneath my fingertips, and told Joe that today was laundry day.

As we chatted, I asked Joe how he was doing. We had first met last November after Thanksgiving. While our initial conversation was brief, we both opened up about our aspirations to become the best versions of ourselves. The ongoing COVID pandemic has forced us to reconsider many aspects of our lives, from career paths to relationships.

Of course, for me, over the past year, I had made progress despite having lost my beloved wife three years ago, and the grief at times was still fresh in my heart but more often in the rearview mirror. For Joe, it was a realization that the path he had been on was no longer fulfilling, and he was seeking new opportunities and experiences. Despite our different struggles, we shared a sense of camaraderie in facing these uncertain times together.

Joe shared with me his experience of reading self-help books and how they have benefited him. However, he expressed frustration with people who try to offload their issues onto him. I could relate to what Joe was saying as I, too, had gone through a similar experience in February.

I empathized with Joe when he said, “They are pulling me into their rabbit holes. I already have a lot on my plate trying to avoid distractions, and I don’t need additional problems.”

We talked for a while to support and encourage each other, sharing our experiences and strategies for staying focused on our goals. By the end of our chat, we both felt more robust and more determined to keep on track.

Joe and Maggie were walking back home when Joe turned to me and said, “God bless you, Richard.” I responded to him, saying I needed as many blessings as possible this month as I had a significant birthday at the end of the month. Joe wished me a happy birthday, and I corrected him, saying it was still a few weeks away.

As we walked, another couple we had seen in Nomehegan Park passed us and greeted us warmly. They wished me a happy birthday, and I reminded them it was still later in the month. However, the woman in the couple spoke and said I had so much wisdom to share with everyone.

I considered joking about it being all BS, but I didn’t want to offend anyone.

Have a Nice Day!

As I made my way home, I decided to take a different route to avoid the flooded paths in the park. As I walked, I couldn’t help but dwell on the comment someone had made about my wisdom. It left me wondering what exactly they meant. If they had referred to me as friendly, I wouldn’t have given it a second thought.

I noticed a woman walking her dog as I approached the high school. Without thinking, I greeted her with a friendly “have a nice day“. She replied by saying, “It’s better than yesterday”. Although the sun was shining and the high temperature would reach the sixties, I couldn’t help but question her words. I responded that every day is beautiful, regardless of the weather. The woman agreed, and we both acknowledged the importance of making the best of what we have and helping others.

Spread the Light!

The crisp morning air brushed against my cheeks as I strolled through the desolate streets of Cranford’s downtown. Lost in thought, I reflected on the experiences that had shaped my recent past. Since the passing of my beloved wife, Jan, attending the Friday night services at Temple Sha’arey Shalom has become an essential part of my life. The comforting words of Rabbi Renee and, more recently, Rav Uri had helped me to let go of the painful memories that haunted me and embrace the peace of Shabbat.

As we gathered to light the Shabbat candles on Friday night, I felt the warmth of the flames enveloping my soul, filling me with hope. I couldn’t help but think of the Genesis commandment, “Let there be light,” which separated the day from the night. The light from the candles seemed to shine across the world, bringing a sense of peace and tranquility I had been yearning for so long.

As I traveled across North Union, something dawned on me: my simple greetings and reminders to enjoy life are more than empty words. They reflect the warm and uplifting light I experienced during Shabbat, a light that we are commanded to share with everyone we meet. Some people have criticized my cheerful phrases for years, dismissing them as mere silliness. However, I now realize that my words are not just meaningless platitudes; they are sage advice on living a joyful and fulfilling life while supporting and uplifting one another.

As I reached mile seven, my watch beeped, and I felt energized—with only half a mile left to meet this month’s exercise goal. With gratitude for the wisdom and peace I found during my daily walk, I danced like a butterfly, feeling alive and invigorated.


It has been almost three years since my wife passed away. As her caregiver, I lost my ability to greet people enthusiastically and encourage them to have a good day. Even though it may seem strange, I still believe that every day is beautiful despite the immense loss I have experienced. Moving forward one day at a time has been a significant challenge, but I have been making progress. My simple greetings may seem insignificant, but they are my way of spreading the light, being positive, and making a small contribution to repairing the world. I will continue to say have a nice day to those I meet. This small gesture has helped me when I felt like I couldn’t go on, and it has also helped others by sharing the light.


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. All donations are tax-deductible.


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Enter Ghost

Read: May 2023

Enter Ghost: A Novel

by Isabella Hammad

Isabella Hammad‘s highly anticipated novel, Enter Ghost, takes readers on a unique journey through modern-day Palestine, exploring themes of displacement, diaspora, and the unbreakable bonds of family and shared resistance. Hammad’s passionate and thoughtful writing brings to life a timely and unforgettable story, shedding light on the struggles of artistry under occupation.

The novel follows Sonia Nasir, an actress who returns to Haifa after years away from her family’s homeland to visit her sister, Haneen. However, this is no ordinary trip for Sonia, as it marks her first visit since the second intifada and the deaths of her grandparents. Still recovering from a disastrous love affair and a dissolute marriage, Sonia finds her relationship with Palestine to be fragile, both bone-deep and new.

As opening night approaches, a troupe of Palestinian actors faces numerous violent obstacles. Sonia meets Mariam, a local director who ropes her into a production of Hamlet on the West Bank. She rehearses Gertrude’s lines in classical Arabic and spends more time in Ramallah than in Haifa, working alongside a group of dedicated men from all over historic Palestine. Despite their competing egos and priorities, each group member is united in their desire to bring Shakespeare to that side of the wall. Amidst it all, Sonia has the daunting yet exhilarating possibility of finding a new self in her ancestral home.


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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Self-Portrait with Ghost: Short Stories

Read: December 2022

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Self-Portrait with Ghost: Short Stories

by Meng Jin

Self-Portrait with Ghost: Short Stories by Meng Jin was written during the turbulent years of the Trump administration and the first year of the pandemic, these stories explore intimacy and isolation, coming of age, and coming to terms with the repercussions of past mistakes, fraying relationships, and surprising moments of connection. I highly recommend Self-Portrait with Ghost: Short Stories!

Each story speaks so clearly to the loneliness epidemic that confronts our world. I would read one short story and promise to stop and wait until another day to read the next one. Instead

One phrase that will always remain with me is: “The hallucinatory quality of grief.” As a widow, the phrase struck a chord that will forever resonate in my soul.

This is the seventy-third book I have read this year.

The Goodreads summary provides an overview,

Meng Jin’s critically acclaimed debut novel, Little Gods, was praised as “spectacular and emotionally polyphonic (Omar El-Akkad, BookPage), “powerful” (Washington Post), and “meticulously observed, daringly imagined” (Claire Messud). Jin turns her considerable talents into short fiction in ten thematically linked stories.

Moving between San Francisco and China, and from unsparing realism to genre-bending delight, Self-Portrait with Ghost considers what it means to live in an age of heightened self-consciousness, seemingly unlimited access to knowledge, and little actual power.

Page-turning, thought-provoking, and wholly unique, Self-Portrait with Ghost further establishes Meng Jin as a writer who “reminds us that possible explanations in our universe are as varied as the beings who populate it” (Paris Review).


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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Never Forget Our People Were Always Free

Read: March 2024

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Never Forget Our People Were Always Free

by Ben Jealous

Today, I started reading “Never Forget Our People Were Always Free: A Parable of American Healing” by Ben Jealous, the Executive Director of the Sierra Club. The book highlights how the path to healing America’s broken heart begins with each of us having the courage to heal ourselves. According to Mr. Jealous, it would be transformative if every American treated each other as cousins.

Ben Jealous is the son of parents who had to leave Maryland because their cross-racial marriage was illegal.

I briefly met Ben Jealous last May when I went to Washington with the Religious Action Center of Reform Judaism‘s Day of Action. When I saw Mr. Jealous speaking at Temple Emanu-El in neighboring Westfield, I immediately signed up to attend in person. He is an inspiration as an advocate for the environment, civil rights, and the healing of America’s broken heart.

His lively, courageous, and empathetic storytelling calls on every American to look past deeply cut divisions and recognize that we are all in the same boat now. Along the way, Jealous grapples with hidden American mysteries, including:

  • Why do white men die from suicide more often than black men die from murder?
  • How did racial profiling kill an American president?
  • What happens when a Ku Klux Klansman wrestles with what Jesus said?
  • How did Dave Chappelle know the DC Snipers were Black?
  • Why shouldn’t the civil rights movement give up on rednecks?
  • When is what we have collectively forgotten about race more important than what we know?
  • What do the most indecipherable things our elders say tell us about ourselves?

The book Never Forget Our People Were Always Free is told through parables. It features intimate glimpses of political and faith leaders such as Jack Kemp, Stacey Abrams, and the late Archbishop Desmond Tutu. The book also highlights unlikely heroes such as a retired constable, a female pirate from Madagascar, a long-lost Irishman, a death row inmate, and a man with a Confederate flag over his heart.

Never Forget Our People Were Always Free offers readers hope that America’s oldest wounds can heal and her oldest divisions can be overcome.

Although I have only read a handful of pages of the book, I highly recommend it!

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The Candy House

Read: December 2022

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The Candy House: A Novel

by Jennifer Egan

The Candy House: A Novel by Jennifer Egan focuses on a new technology that allows you access to every memory you’ve ever had and to share your memories in exchange for access to the memories of others—it has seduced multitudes. According to the NYTimes, “this is minimalist maximalism. As a widow, I live in a world of memories, but I would not want them shared as they are in The Candy House. “It’s as if Egan compressed a big 19th-century novel onto a flash drive.”

Of course, I am not able to access my unconscious memories. Albeit in an amateur way, I write down some of my memories as they remind me of the power of the love that Jan and I shared. For example, the essay when I met Jan rekindles the memory and attempts to tell the story the way it happened, not how some would like it to be remembered.

The Candy House is one of the NYTimes’ top five fiction books of 2022. I have read two of them, The Furrows and Checkout 19. Initially, I was overwhelmed by the multitude of characters and was confused. By the novel’s middle, their interconnectedness helped me understand its real meaning. In the end, Egan delivers a fierce and exhilarating testament to the tenacity and transcendence of human longing for authentic connection, love, family, privacy, and redemption. As a widow, authenticity Is what I need to heal.

The Candy House is the seventieth (70) book I have read this year. 

The Goodreads summary provides an overview.

It’s 2010. Staggeringly successful and brilliant tech entrepreneur Bix Bouton is desperate for a new idea. He’s forty, with four kids, and restless when he stumbles into a conversation with mostly Columbia professors, one of whom is experimenting with downloading or “externalizing” memory. Within a decade, Bix’s new technology, Own Your Unconscious—that allows you access to every memory you’ve ever had and to share every memory in exchange for access to the memories of others—has seduced multitudes. But not everyone.

In spellbinding linked narratives, Egan spins out the consequences of Own Your Unconscious through the lives of multiple characters whose paths intersect over several decades. Egan introduces these characters in an astonishing array of styles—from omniscient to first person plural to a duet of voices, an epistolary chapter, and a chapter of tweets. In the world of Egan’s spectacular imagination, there are “counters” who track and exploit desires and “eluders” who understand the price of taking a bite of the Candy House.

Intellectually dazzling and extraordinarily moving, The Candy House is a bold, brilliant imagining of a world that is moments away. With a focus on social media, gaming, and alternate worlds, you can almost experience moving among dimensions in a role-playing game.​ Egan delivers a fierce and exhilarating testament to the tenacity and transcendence of human longing for real connection, love, family, privacy, and redemption.


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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Shiner: A Novel

Read: March 2022

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Shiner: A Novel

by Amy Jo Burns

Shiner: A Novel by Amy Jo Burns was my twenty-second of the year, and I achieved my Goodreads 2022 Reading Challenge. An hour from the closest West Virginia mining town, fifteen-year-old Wren Bird lives in a secluded mountain cabin with her parents. They have no car, mailbox, or visitors- except for her mother’s lifelong best friend.

Wren’s narration of her discoveries of the secrets of the past over one summer drives the novel and makes it a page-turner. Her mother, Ruby, and her best friend, Ivy, are two strong women who dreamed of escaping the West Virginia mountains. The male characters play secondary roles in the novel, as they should. Shiner is a feminist book about how women can and must take back their stories and lives from men whose power is an illusion.

I highly recommend this novel and look forward to reading other books by Amy Jo Burns. It was the perfect book to finish my reading challenge. As I continue to read this year, I hope to find another of her books on my shelf.

Goodreads provides an overview.

Every Sunday, Wren’s father delivers winding sermons in an abandoned gas station. He takes up serpents and praises the Lord for his blighted white eye, proof of his divinity and key to his hold over the community, Wren, and her mother.

But over the course of one summer, a miracle performed by Wren’s father quickly turns to tragedy. As the order of her world begins to shatter, Wren must uncover the truth of her father’s mysterious legend and her mother’s harrowing history and complex bond with her best friend. And with that newfound knowledge, Wren can imagine a different future for herself than she has been told to expect.

Rich with epic love and epic loss, and diving deep into a world that is often forgotten but still part of America, Shiner reveals the hidden story behind two generations’ worth of Appalachian heartbreak and resolve. Amy Jo Burns brings us a smoldering, taut debut novel about modern female myth-making in a land of men-and one young girl who must ultimately open her eyes.

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Three Strong Women

Read: August 2022

Three Strong Women

by Marie NDiaye

Three Strong Women by Marie NDiaye is a novel that focuses on three women who say no. Winner of the coveted Prix Goncourt, the first by a black woman, Marie NDiaye, creates a luminous narrative triptych as harrowing as beautiful. With lyrical intensity, Marie NDiaye masterfully evokes the relentless denial of dignity, to say nothing of happiness, in these lives caught between Africa and Europe. I highly recommend this novel.

John Fletcher translated the Kindle version.

The Goodreads summary provides an overview,

This is the story of three women who say no: Norah, a French-born lawyer who finds herself in Senegal, summoned by her estranged, tyrannical father to save another victim of his paternity; Fanta, who leaves a modest but contented life as a teacher in Dakar to follow her white boyfriend back to France, where his delusional depression and sense of failure poison everything; and Khady, an impoverished widow put out by her husband’s family with nothing but the name of a distant cousin (the Fanta above) who lives in France, a place Khady can scarcely conceive of but toward which she must now take desperate flight.

With lyrical intensity, Marie NDiaye masterfully evokes the relentless denial of dignity, to say nothing of happiness, in these lives caught between Africa and Europe. We see with stunning emotional exactitude how ordinary women discover unimagined reserves of strength, even as their humanity is chipped away. Three Strong Women admits to an immigrant experience rarely, if ever, examined in fiction, but even more into the depths of the suffering heart.


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month are matched dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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I receive a commission when you buy a book or product using a link on this page. Thank you for supporting Sharing Jan’s Love blog.

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