Please, Stay With Me!

Estimated reading time: 14 minutes, 57 seconds

Monarch Farewell Dinner March 21, 2019

Is your speech ready for tonight?” she asked as she entered our home. Her expression showed annoyance as she looked at my untidy appearance and nervous state. I felt my heart rate increase as I stuttered out a response. “Not really,” I admitted, feeling a tight knot in my stomach. But we can still make it work, right?” Jan offered a reassuring smile and placed a comforting hand on my shoulder. “Of course we can,” she said. “We’ll review what you want to say on the way to the Forsgate County Club. You’ll do great.”

I had stopped working at the beginning of the year, but Monarch Housing Associates had organized a farewell dinner in my honor this evening. The event would also celebrate the passing of Monarch’s leadership to Taiisa Kelly and Asish Patel. It was a critical moment, and I was grateful to have Jan by my side.

As I drove to the event, I felt excitement and nervousness. Jan, my companion for the evening, had been kind enough to accompany me and offer her support. During the thirty-minute drive, we talked about what I should say in my speech, and Jan was an accommodating listener. However, when she referred to the event as my “retirement dinner,” I couldn’t help but feel a twinge of unease. I expressed this to her, and she understood my discomfort with the “R” word. Nonetheless, Jan reminded me that this was an opportunity to thank all the wonderful people I had worked with over the years and to celebrate my achievements. As we pulled into the parking lot, I leaned over to kiss her, grateful for her presence and encouragement. You will do fine!” she reassured me with a smile.

As Jan and I walked into the room, I felt a relief wave like the sun breaking through a cloudy sky. After months of unemployment, seeing so many familiar faces was welcome. As I walked through the crowd, former colleagues greeted me with warm hugs and excited chatter. I was surprised at how many people had shown up to welcome me back, and it was a comforting feeling to know that I was valued and appreciated. It was as if I had never left, and I felt a sense of belonging that had been absent for far too long.

My wife Jan felt uneasy during the reception, even though she knew some guests. Wanting to make Jan as comfortable as possible, I introduced her to as many new faces as possible, hoping to make her feel more relaxed. Hey, this is Steve, one of the top architects, and Joe is a developer for LIHTC.” They warmly welcomed Jan and started a conversation. As they continued to chat, someone asked Jan, “So, how is it having Richard at home all the time? Does he cook for you?” Jan laughed and replied, “I thought I had taught him, but he still needs training. He’s a work in progress, but I’ll keep him around.

As the program began, a sudden announcement filled the room. My wife Jan had already eaten, but I had not eaten. I grabbed a plate of pasta, and we made our way to a table on the right side of the stage. The event hosts, Bob Kley and Taissa Kelly, greeted everyone with warmth and positivity, taking a moment to acknowledge my contributions during my tenure. Just as I was about to take a bite, they called me up to the stage, leaving me surprised and curious. With a plaque in their hands, they gave me a quote from Dr. King that emphasized the importance of standing firm during times of challenge and controversy. It was a touching moment that left me humbled and grateful for the recognition.

“The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.”

Martin Luther King, Jr.

As I took my place on the stage, clutching the microphone in my hand, I felt a sense of nervous anticipation wash over me. I was ready to begin my speech, but Taissa’s announcement that there would be a musical interlude before I started caught me off guard. I hope you’re not asking me to sing,” I joked, trying to ease my nerves. Despite my best efforts, my anxiety was starting to bubble up again.

Then, a board member and close friend, Laverne Williams, stepped forward. “Don’t worry, the Gospel choir from my church, Union Baptist, will take care of the music,” she reassured me. As the choir took to the stage, their voices filled the room with a powerful energy and passion that left me in awe.

Yet, as the minutes ticked by and the choir continued to sing, my confidence began to waver. I was still standing on the stage, waiting for my speech. Though the choir’s performance was nothing short of remarkable, the anxiety that had been building inside me threatened to overwhelm me once again.

As soon as the choir’s music died down, I took a moment to express my gratitude and began my speech by admitting that I had not prepared anything ahead of time. As many of you know, I’m not one to write a speech, but I always manage to find something to say when I have a microphone in my hand,” I joked, eliciting laughter from the audience. 

I then took a deep breath before continuing and turned my head to the right to find my wife, whom I wanted to introduce to the audience. However, to my surprise, she was not there. I scanned the room in a slightly panicked state until I finally spotted her on the left side of the room. I quickly corrected my mistake and asked her to stand up. 

With all eyes on her, I began to express my gratitude for everything she had done for me. “If I have accomplished anything meaningful in my life, it’s because of the love and support of this incredible woman. She has made me a better person and has given me the strength and resilience to do my best every day.” As the audience rose to give her a standing ovation, I whispered the three most important words I knew, “I love you,” while gazing deeply into her eyes. It was a moment I will never forget.

After the event, Jan and I left the building, arm in arm, feeling grateful for the support we had received. As we drove home, we talked about the evening. Everyone said it was the best speech they had ever heard at an event like this,” Jan said discreetly, not mentioning the “R” word. I felt renewed purpose and determination, ready to face whatever challenges.

Pages: 1 2 3

5 comments add your comment

Share your thoughts and ideas

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

The Jan Lilien Education Fund!

The Outrun: A Memoir

Read: October 2022

Get this book

The Outrun: A Memoir

by Amy Liptrot

The Outrun: A Memoir by Amy Liptrot is about her return to Orkney after more than a decade; she visits the Outrun on the sheep farm where she grew up. Approaching the land that was once home, memories of her childhood merge with the recent events that have set her on this journey. My current grief journey is not like Amy Liptrot‘s, but I learned from her struggles as we all need the support of family and friends.

Amy’s long walks, detailed description of bird watching, and life on a small island were very moving. I might have moved from one apartment to the adjacent one, but I learned from Amy’s journey and feel more confident facing life’s uncertainties.

I highly recommend this memoir.

The Goodreads summary provides an overview,

Amy was shaped by the cycle of the seasons, birth and death on the farm, and her father’s mental illness, which was as much a part of her childhood as the wild, carefree existence on Orkney. But as she grew up, she longed to leave this remote life. She moved to London and found herself in a hedonistic cycle. Unable to control her drinking, alcohol gradually took over. Now thirty, she finds herself washed up back home on Orkney, standing unstable at the cliff edge, trying to come to terms with what happened to her in London.

Spending early mornings swimming in the bracingly cold sea, the days tracking Orkney’s wildlife—puffins nesting on sea stacks, arctic terns swooping close enough to feel their wings—and nights searching the sky for the Merry Dancers, Amy slowly makes the journey toward recovery from addiction.

The Outrun is a beautiful, inspiring book about living on the edge, about the pull between island and city, and about the ability of the sea, the land, the wind, and the moon to restore life and renew hope.


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

Subscribe

Contact Us

I receive a commission when you buy a book or product using a link on this page. Thank you for supporting Sharing Jan’s Love blog.

×
Bright Young Women: A Novel

Read: October 2023

Get this book

Bright Young Women: A Novel

by Jessica Knoll

Today, I commenced reading Bright Young Women: A Novel by Jessica Knoll. Violent acts of the same man bring together two women from opposite sides of the country and become allies and sisters in arms as they pursue the justice that would otherwise elude them in one of the year’s most acclaimed, highly anticipated thrillers.

Masterfully blending psychological suspense and actual crime elements, Jessica Knoll—author of the bestselling novel Luckiest Girl Alive and the writer behind the Netflix adaption starring Mila Kunis—delivers a new and exhilarating thriller in Bright Young Women. The book opens on a Saturday night in 1978, hours before a soon-to-be-infamous murderer descends upon a Florida sorority house with deadly results.

The lives of those who survive, including sorority president and critical witness Pamela Schumacher, are forever changed. Across the country, Tina Cannon is convinced the man papers targeted her missing friend referred to as the All-American Sex Killer—and that he’s struck again. Determined to find justice, the two join forces as their search for answers leads to a final, shocking confrontation.


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

Subscribe

Contact Us

I receive a commission when you buy a book or product using a link on this page. Thank you for supporting Sharing Jan’s Love blog.



×
How Democracies Die

Read: January 2021

Get this book

How Democracies Die: What History Reveals About Our Future

by Steven Levitsky and Daniel Ziblatt

How Democracies Die: What History Reveals About Our Future by Steven Levitsky and Daniel Ziblatt was on my reading list for almost a year. In late December of last year, I started reading it and was in the final chapter on January 6, 2021. Like many of us, I never in my life expected to see a day like that in our country.

This type of event is one the authors talk about in their book.

According to the overview in GoodReads,

Donald Trump’s presidency has raised a question that many of us never thought we’d be asking: Is our democracy in danger? Harvard professors Steven Levitsky and Daniel Ziblatt have spent more than twenty years studying the breakdown of democracies in Europe and Latin America, and they believe the answer is yes. Democracy no longer ends with a bang–in a revolution or military coup–but with a whimper: the slow, steady weakening of critical institutions, such as the judiciary and the press, and the gradual erosion of long-standing political norms. The good news is that there are several exit ramps on the road to authoritarianism. The bad news is that, by electing Trump, we have already passed the first one.

Drawing on decades of research and a wide range of historical and global examples, from 1930s Europe to contemporary Hungary, Turkey, and Venezuela, to the American South during Jim Crow, Levitsky and Ziblatt show how democracies die–and how ours can be saved.

Our democracy is too valuable for us to have it die. We all need to work to preserve and strengthen it. How Democracies Die is a book that everyone needs to read!

Subscribe

Contact Us

×
Mercy Street: A Novel

Read: February 2023

Get this book

Mercy Street: A Novel

by Jennifer Haigh

Mercy Street: A Novel by Jennifer Haigh is a tense, riveting story about the disparate lives intersecting at a Boston women’s clinic. The novel was named Best Book of the Year by the Washington Post, the New Yorker, and the Boston Globe. Mercy Street is a novel for right now, a story of the polarized American present. Ms. Haigh is a gifted storyteller who has written a very readable book. I highly recommend it. 

I truly enjoyed Mercy Street. I read her short story Zenith Man and enjoyed her storytelling skills. I wanted to read her most recent novel. Until the last few pages, I was unsure how Ms. Haigh‘s intricate storylines could conclude the story. Usually, I can predict how a story will unfold well before I finish reading it. Mercy Street was a rare exception to that rule.

I have never had to run the gauntlet in front of a women’s clinic, but Ms. Haigh has made that experience so real that I could taste it. The day-to-day work of the staff and the clients was detailed and believable. The male characters, Timmy, the affable pot dealer; Anthony, a lost soul; and Excelsior11, the screenname of Victor Prine, were drafted credibly.

As stated earlier, I highly recommend this book.


Jennifer Haigh is the author of seven best-selling, critically acclaimed works of fiction. Her first, Mrs. Kimble, won the PEN Hemingway Award for debut fiction. Her latest, Mercy Street, was named a Best Book of 2022 by the New Yorker and won the Mark Twain American Voice in Literature Award. A Guggenheim fellow and Iowa Writers’ Workshop graduate, she lives in Boston.


When you purchase a book through one of my links, I earn a small commission that helps support my passion for reading. This contribution allows me to buy even more books to share with you, creating an incredible cycle of discovering great reads together! Your support truly makes a difference!


×
Move Like Water: My Story of the Sea

Read: October 2023

Get this book

Move Like Water: My Story of the Sea

by Hannah Stowe

I recently started reading a book called “Move Like Water: My Story of the Sea” by Hannah Stowe. It’s a captivating book that immerses you in a world of water, whales, storms, and starlight, allowing you to experience what it’s like to sail for weeks and live life to a new rhythm.

Hannah Stowe, a marine biologist and sailor in her mid-twenties, grew up on the Pembrokeshire coast of Wales, where she fell asleep to the sound of the lighthouse beam. Drawing upon her experiences sailing tens of thousands of miles in various seas, including the North Sea, North Atlantic, Mediterranean, Celtic Sea, and the Caribbean, she explores the human connection to the wild waters. Stowe ponders why she and others are drawn to life at sea and what we can learn from the water around us.

Stowe intertwines her narrative and illustrations with stories of six keystone marine creatures: the fire crow, sperm whale, wandering albatross, humpback whale, shearwater, and barnacle. Through these stories, she invites readers to fall in love with the sea and its inhabitants and to discover the majesty, wonder, and fragility of the underwater world.

If you enjoy the works of Rachel Carson and Annie Dillard, then “Move Like Water: My Story of the Sea” is a must-read. It’s an inspiring and heartfelt tribute to the sea, a testimony to pursuing and achieving a dream, and an unforgettable introduction to a talented new nature writer.


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

Subscribe

Contact Us

I receive a commission when you buy a book or product using a link on this page. Thank you for supporting Sharing Jan’s Love blog.



×
The Swamps of Jersey

Read: October 2021

Get this book

The Swamps of Jersey

by Michael Stephen Daigle

The Swamps of Jersey by Michael Stephen Daigle is the first of the Frank Nagler series. Having read the fourth one – The Red Hand, I thought this was an excellent time to read the first in this impressive deceptive series. It was, in fact, an excellent decision. Understanding Frank Nagler better now, I plan to read the next two and the Red Hand to be ready for the fifth book Dragony Rising.

Ironton, New Jersey has seen hard times before. Deserted factories and empty stores reflect the decades-long decline, that even Mayor Gabriel Richman, scion of one of the city’s leading political families, cannot seem to rectify. Now families are living on the street or in the shells of the old factories.A week-long tropical storm floods the depressed city bringing more devastation as well as a new misery: The headless, handless body of a young woman in the Old Iron Bog.

Between the gruesome murder and an old factory suspiciously burning down, Detective Frank Nagler begins to believe that incarcerated Charlie Adams, the city’s famous serial killer, may have fostered a copycat killer. Determined to find the truth, he follows the case that leads into unexpected places.

Knowing the author and the geography of NJ, I found this book a must-read.

Subscribe

Contact Us

When you buy a book or product using a link on this page, I receive a commission. Thank you for supporting Sharing Jan’s Love blog.

×

Discover more from Sharing Jan’s Love

Subscribe now to keep reading and get access to the full archive.

Continue reading