Solar Eclipse of My Soul

Estimated reading time: 5 minutes, 3 seconds

The 2017 Solar Eclipse Was a Spiritual and Romantic Day

Experiencing a total solar eclipse is an unforgettable event that can make us feel as if we’re in the presence of a divine power or transport us to a different world. I’ve been fortunate enough to witness this incredible phenomenon twice. The second time was with my family in Molalla, Oregon, on August 21, 2017, and it’s a memory I’ll cherish for the rest of my life.

On that day, my son Mike captured the entire event on his iPhone, allowing us to relive the magic for years. We huddled together, eagerly anticipating the sun’s disappearance. My granddaughter, Lilah-Rae, was thrilled and declared it the most exciting and unforgettable day of her life.

Solar Eclipse, Molalla, Oregon, on August 21, 2017

Getting to the solar eclipse was an adventure as we missed a flight connection and had to drive from Seattle to Portland. Once we arrived at Jon and Karen’s backyard, we hoped to stay home and watch about 96% of the eclipse’s totality. But those memories are a story for another post.

Jan and Richard
Jan and Richard Watching the Eclipse

The memory of that day will remain etched in our minds forever. As the sun disappeared behind the moon, the world around us grew still, and we were all in awe of the breathtaking sight before us. For a moment, time seemed to stand still. Mike’s video perfectly captured the event’s beauty and grandeur, a once-in-a-lifetime experience.

In the video, all the couples hugged each other tightly, cherishing the moment. My wife exclaimed, “We have to do this again. When’s the next solar eclipse?” Fueled by excitement, we all promised to reunite and witness the next total solar eclipse on April 8, 2024. Unfortunately, we were unable to fulfill that promise due to life’s unpredictability and lymphoma.

Not Seeing But Experiencing an Eclipse

On my morning walk today, I met my friend June, who has a garden plot in Hanson Park. We caught up on old times and reminisced about the Mitzvah cleanup of Hanson Park. We chatted about the park and how June’s sister was adjusting to life in Cranford.

June expressed her excitement for the upcoming eclipse as we started to part. I corrected her, explaining that it was an experience, not just an event to watch. Instead, I shared my memories of the 2017 total eclipse and how it was a humbling experience that reminded us of how small we are in the grand scheme. During totality, I said, “We are reminded that we are minor players in the universe.” I described the video and how it had a spiritual and romantic nature.

You are making me cry, June said, “but in a good way.

“At least you are young enough to experience the next one in 2044,” I added.

I’ll be 92 by then and probably using a walker,” she replied.

“Even then, you, Paul, and I should plan to go together. It will be a trio of elderly people seeking God’s blessing,” I suggested.

“It’s a deal,” June said, and we parted ways.

Never Forget Our People Were Always Free

Finally, I recommended that June read Ben Jealous‘s “Never Forget Our People Were Always Free: A Parable of American Healing” if she could. He convincingly argues that we are all cousins and should treat each other as we would our family.

Wow, that is powerful,” June said, and we both walked away, lost in our thoughts.

“Cousin, I will talk to you soon!”

One Hundred Percent or Nothing

The sky over New Jersey darkened today as a partial solar eclipse occurred, with only 90% of the sun obscured. The sight was akin to the sky being covered by thick, dark clouds, creating an eerie and ominous feeling that it might rain at any moment. As I stepped outside into the mid-afternoon twilight, the world around me felt strange and unsettling, a stark contrast to the awe-inspiring experience of witnessing a total solar eclipse I had enjoyed in 2017.

As someone who has lost their spouse, I have come to understand that darkness is not just the absence of light. It’s a feeling that can linger and fester, akin to being alone with someone you love who doesn’t love you back. This loneliness can darken your soul and leave you feeling hollow and empty.

Last summer, I had tentative plans to watch the total solar eclipse with someone, but those plans fell through. Although I usually enjoy doing things independently, the thought of experiencing such a significant event without someone I loved and who loved me made me hesitate. I have no problem going to movies, dinner, or anything else alone, but the possibility of a total solar eclipse alone was a bridge I could not cross.

In hindsight, perhaps the 2017 total solar eclipse was a divine intervention that prepared me for life as a widow. I have never been the same since watching the moon cover the sun. Accepting with humility my insignificant role in the universe and feeling God’s presence may have been preparation for becoming a widow. Being calmer and healthier, perhaps I was better able to adjust to my wife’s death. Despite my best efforts, neither I nor any of the members of the medical team could save my wife’s life. But I can choose how I live the remainder of my days.

My Three Birthday Blessings have become the bumpers that protect me from falling into life’s gutters. With renewed faith, meaning, and purpose, I will seek to be the best version of myself. The memories of the last total solar eclipse I saw in Oregon were bittersweet. They reminded me of what I had lost and still have to cherish, and I will forever hold onto those memories as a reminder of the beauty and fragility of life.


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. All donations are tax-deductible.


Contact Us
Subscribe

Creative Commons License

This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial 4.0 International License.


3 comments add your comment

Share your thoughts and ideas

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Previous Post:

Next Post:

The Jan Lilien Education Fund!

Sun City

Read: February 2025

Get this book

Sun City by Tove Jansson

by Tove Jansson

Today, I began reading “Sun City” by Tove Jansson, translated by Thomas Teal. I found this book mentioned in Maya Chung‘s review in The Atlantic’s Book Briefings, and as an older man, it seemed like the perfect choice for me. In “The Summer Book” and “The True Deceiver,” as well as in her many short stories, Tove Jansson consistently explores the everyday lives of older adults.

She portrays them not as a separate group but as fully fleshed individuals who experience the same jealousies, desires, and joys as any other demographic. It’s no wonder that in her travels through America in the 1970s, she became fascinated with what was then a particularly American institution, the retirement home, where older people lived in their tightly knit worlds.

In Sun City, Jansson depicts these worlds in a group portrait of residents and employees at the Berkeley Arms in St. Petersburg, Florida. As the narrative moves from character to character, the characters move through an America riven by cultural divides, facing the death of its dream. The Berkeley Arms’s newest resident finds a place among the rocking chairs and endless chatter on the veranda while other residents long for past glories, mourning their losses and killing time. Meanwhile, one of their attendants, Bounty Joe, is eagerly awaiting a letter, or even just a postcard, alerting him to the imminent return of Jesus Christ. Nobody’s normal anymore,” the bartender says, “not the old geezers and not the newborn kids.”



When you purchase a book through one of my links, I earn a small commission that helps support my passion for reading. This contribution allows me to buy even more books to share with you, creating an incredible cycle of discovering great reads together! Your support truly makes a difference!


×
I'll Come to You: A Novel

Read: January 2025

Get this book

I’ll Come to You: A Novel

by Rebecca Kauffman

I began reading “I’ll Come to You: A Novel” by Rebecca Kauffman today. This sweeping and compact novel explores themes of intimacy, memory, loss, grief, and reconciliation. It delves into the wonder, terror, frustration, fear, and magic of confronting the unknowable in the world and within ourselves. The New York Times recommended it as one of six books to read this week.

I’ll Come to You is a modern and classic story of a family that follows intersecting lives throughout 1995, centered around the anticipation and arrival of a child. Through empathy, insight, and humor, Rebecca Kauffman delves into overlapping narratives: a couple struggling to conceive, which has both softened and hardened their relationship; a woman whose husband of forty years has left her without explaining why; and the man who is disastrously trying to win her affection. Additionally, there’s a couple in denial about an impending health crisis and their son, who is awkwardly navigating middle age while unable to stop lying.

Ultimately, these storylines build to a dramatic and harrowing climax. With heart, wit, and courage, the characters confront challenges that test and define their family bonds.



When you purchase a book through one of my links, I earn a small commission that helps support my passion for reading. This contribution allows me to buy even more books to share with you, creating an incredible cycle of discovering great reads together! Your support truly makes a difference!


×
The Girl in His Shadow

Read: July 2022

Get this book

The Girl in His Shadow

by Audrey Blake

I completed the Big Library Read of 2022, The Girl in His Shadow, by Audrey Blake. I highly recommend it. The Girl in His Shadow is historical fiction about one woman who believed in scientific medicine before the world believed in her. Ms. Blake has a split personality— because she is the creative alter ego of writing duo Jaima Fixsen and Regina Sirois, two authors who met as finalists of a writing contest and have been writing together happily ever since.

The pen name – Audrey Blake – was in response to the publishers recommending a more straightforward author’s name. Regina’s daughter is named Audrey, and Jaima’s son is Blake.

I cannot praise this book enough. It was well written, and the characters, especially Nora Beady, jumped off the page. I recommend The Girl in His Shadow by Audrey Blake and encourage you to read the book and share your thoughts.

For more information and to start reading The Girl in His Shadow by Audrey Blake, visit: Big Library Read.

The Goodreads summary provides an overview.

Raised by the eccentric surgeon Dr. Horace Croft after losing her parents to a deadly pandemic, the orphan Nora Beady knows little about conventional life. While other young ladies were raised to busy themselves with needlework and watercolors, Nora was trained to perfect her suturing and anatomical illustrations of dissections.

Women face dire consequences if caught practicing medicine, but in Croft’s private clinic Nora is his most trusted–and secret–assistant. That is until the new surgical resident Dr. Daniel Gibson arrives. Dr. Gibson has no idea that Horace’s bright and quiet young ward is a surgeon more qualified and ingenuitive than even himself. In order to protect Dr. Croft and his practice from scandal and collapse Nora must learn to play a new and uncomfortable role–that of a proper young lady.

But pretense has its limits. Nora cannot turn away and ignore the suffering of patients even if it means giving Gibson the power to ruin everything she’s worked for. And when she makes a discovery that could change the field forever, Nora faces an impossible choice. Remain invisible and let the men around her take credit for her work, or let the world see her for what she is–even if it means being destroyed by her own legacy.


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. All donations are tax-deductible.

Subscribe

Contact Us

I receive a commission when you buy a book or product using a link on this page. Thank you for supporting Sharing Jan’s Love blog.

×
The Quiet Tenant

Read: August 2023

Get this book

The Quiet Tenant

by Clémence Michallon

Today, I commenced reading The Quiet Tenant by Clémence Michallon. It is not my typical genre, as it is a pulse-pounding psychological thriller about a serial killer narrated by those closest to him: his 13-year-old daughter, his girlfriend—and the one victim he has spared.

Aidan Thomas is a hard-working family man and a somewhat beloved figure in the small upstate New York town where he lives. He’s the man who always lends a hand and has a good word for everyone. But Aidan has a dark secret he’s been keeping from everyone in town and those closest to him. He’s a kidnapper and serial killer. Aidan has murdered eight women, and there’s a ninth he has earmarked for death: Rachel, imprisoned in a backyard shed, fearing for her life.

When Aidan’s wife dies, he and his thirteen-year-old daughter Cecilia are forced to move. Aidan has no choice but to bring Rachel along, introducing her to Cecilia as a “family friend who needs a place to stay. Aidan is betting on Rachel, after five years of captivity, being too brainwashed and fearful to attempt to escape. But Rachel is a fighter and survivor and recognizes Cecilia might be the lifeline she has waited for all these years. As Rachel tests the boundaries of her new living situation, she begins to form a tenuous connection with Cecilia. And when Emily, a local restaurant owner, develops a crush on the handsome widower, she finds herself drawn into Rachel and Cecilia’s orbit, dangerously close to discovering Aidan’s secret.

Told through the perspectives of Rachel, Cecilia, and Emily, The Quiet Tenant explores the psychological impact of Aidan’s crimes on the women in his life—and the bonds between those women that give them the strength to fight back. A searing thriller and an astute study of trauma, survival, and power dynamics, The Quiet Tenant is an electrifying debut thriller by a significant talent.


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

Subscribe

Contact Us

I receive a commission when you buy a book or product using a link on this page. Thank you for supporting Sharing Jan’s Love blog.



×
Black Sun

Read: November 2021

Get this book

Black Sun – Between the Earth and Sky

by Rebecca Roanhorse

Black Sun by Rebecca Roanhorse.  Black Sun is the first book in the Between Earth and Sky trilogy, inspired by the civilizations of the Pre-Columbian Americas and woven into a tale of celestial prophecies, political intrigue, and forbidden magic.

I have always enjoyed fantasy novels like Black Sun, and this is the first one set in the Pre-Columbian Americas.

A god will return
When the earth and sky converge
Under the black sun

In the holy city of Tova, the winter solstice is usually a time for celebration and renewal, but this year, it coincides with a solar eclipse, a rare celestial event proscribed by the Sun Priest as an unbalancing of the world.

Meanwhile, a ship launches from a distant city bound for Tova and set to arrive on the solstice. The captain of the ship, Xiala, is a disgraced Teek whose song can calm the waters around her as quickly as it can warp a man’s mind. Her ship carries one passenger. Described as harmless, the passenger, Serapio, is a young man, blind, scarred, and cloaked in destiny. As Xiala well knows, when a man is described as harmless, he usually ends up being a villain.

Will Serapio be harmless or a villain? The answer, my friend, will be known when you read this book or perhaps the second one in the trilogy.

Before meeting and falling forever in love with Jan, I had dreamed of the life of an American Studies professor. Thousands of students are relieved to know I did not pursue that life. If I had opened that door, an area of focus would have been on Pre-Columbian Americas.

I recommend this book and will read the next two in the Between Earth and Sky trilogy.

Subscribe

Contact Us

When you buy a book or product using a link on this page, I receive a commission. Thank you for supporting Sharing Jan’s Love blog.

×
The Morningside: A Novel

Read: March 2024

Get this book

The Morningside: A Novel

by Téa Obreht

Today, I started reading The Morningside: A Novel by Téa Obreht. The book tells the story of Silvia and her mother, who have been expelled from their home and have settled in a luxury tower called Island City, where Silvia’s aunt Ena is the superintendent. The Morningside is a place of magical possibilities, where Ena shares folktales with Silvia about her demolished homeland, a place of natural beauty and communal spirit. This starkly contrasts Silvia’s current reality, where she feels unmoored and disconnected from her past.

Silvia is fascinated by Bezi Duras, an enigmatic woman who lives in the penthouse and is shrouded in mystery. Bezi has her elevator entrance and only leaves the building at night to walk her three massive hounds, returning in the early morning. Silvia becomes obsessed with unraveling the truth about Bezi’s life and haunted past, even if it comes at a significant cost to her.

The Morningside is an inventive and moving novel that explores the power of storytelling and how we use it to make sense of our lives and the world around us.

×

Discover more from Sharing Jan’s Love

Subscribe now to keep reading and get access to the full archive.

Continue reading