by 3 comments

Grief’s Lesson: Serving and Blessing the Living!

Estimated reading time: 13 minutes, 9 seconds
Congressman Rob Menendez visited the Bridges Project Connect office in Newark

Where Am I Today?

Despite my imperfections, I have become a more devoted father and grandfather. I understand my children and their children hold the key to the future, and I am committed to focusing on them rather than fixating on me or the past.

Following the passing of my wife, I have deepened my relationships by providing care, compassion, and understanding to those in my circle.

I have prioritized embodying humility and contributing to my community through active Hanson Park and Bridges involvement.

Even in the face of unreciprocated love, I continue loving someone without expecting her feelings to change. My focus is on embracing life and actively seeking meaningful connections despite many being only one way.

Danny’s comment about me being incredible or a new person may be a testament to the profound impact of grief. Despite feeling as imperfect and shattered as a broken mirror, I hold onto the hope that I can become a better version of myself. Only time will reveal whether I have indeed grown from my experience with grief or only survived the pain and turmoil. I sincerely appreciate the honest, thoughtful feedback I’ve received and look forward to more. Your perspectives will help shape the days and nights ahead, guiding me to become the best version of myself to serve better and bring blessings to the living.

The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. All donations are tax-deductible.

Contact Us
Subscribe
Creative Commons License

This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial 4.0 International License.

Pages: 1 2 3

Related Posts

Twelve Hundred Days

Is Grief Narcissistic?

How Did I Grieve?

A Dancing Yahrzeit Candle

Walking for 1097 Days

My Apolytus Moment

3 comments add your comment

Share your thoughts and ideas

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Previous Post:

Next Post:

The Jan Lilien Education Fund!

Donate Now!

Discover more from Sharing Jan’s Love

Subscribe now to keep reading and get access to the full archive.

Continue reading

Mercy Street: A Novel

Read: February 2023

Get this book

Mercy Street: A Novel

by Jennifer Haigh

Mercy Street: A Novel by Jennifer Haigh is a tense, riveting story about the disparate lives intersecting at a Boston women’s clinic. The novel was named Best Book of the Year by the Washington Post, the New Yorker, and the Boston Globe. Mercy Street is a novel for right now, a story of the polarized American present. Ms. Haigh is a gifted storyteller who has written a very readable book that I highly recommend. 

I truly enjoyed Mercy Street. I had read her short story Zenith Man, and I enjoyed her storytelling skill and wanted to read her most recent novel. Until the last few pages, I was unsure how Ms. Haigh‘s intricate storylines could conclude the story. Usually, I can predict how a story will unfold well before I finish reading it. Mercy Street was a rare exception to that rule.

I have never had to run the gauntlet in front of a women’s clinic, but Ms. Haigh has made that experience so real that I could taste it. The day-to-day work of the staff and the clients was detailed and believable. The male characters, Timmy, the affable pot dealer; Anthony, a lost soul; and Excelsior11-the screenname of Victor Prine, were drafted n a credible way.

As stated earlier, I highly recommend this book.

The Goodreads summary provides an overview,

Claudia has counseled patients for almost a decade at Mercy Street, a clinic in the city’s heart. The work is consuming the unending dramas of women in crisis. For its patients, Mercy Street offers more than health care; for many, it is a second chance.

But outside the clinic, the reality is different. Anonymous threats are frequent. A small, determined group of anti-abortion demonstrators appears each morning at its door. As the protests intensify, fear creeps into Claudia’s days, a humming anxiety she manages with frequent visits to Timmy, an affable pot dealer amid his existential crisis. At Timmy’s, she encounters a random assortment of customers, including Anthony, a lost soul who spends most of his life online, chatting with the mysterious Excelsior11–the screenname of Victor Prine. This anti-abortion crusader has set his sights on Mercy Street and is ready to risk it all for his beliefs.

The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

Subscribe

Contact Us

I receive a commission when you buy a book or product using a link on this page. Thank you for supporting Sharing Jan’s Love blog.

×
Daughter: A Novel

Read: September 2023

Get this book

Daughter: A Novel

by Claudia Dey

I started reading “Daughter: A Novel” by Claudia Dey today. According to Mona Dean, to be loved by your father is to be loved by God. Mona is a playwright, actress, and daughter of a man who is famous for a great novel. However, her father’s needs and insecurities significantly impact the women in his family, including Mona, her sister, her half-sister, and their mothers.

Mona’s father’s infidelity shattered her childhood, causing her to be in opposition to her stepmother, who also suffered from his actions. Mona’s father begins a new affair, and he confides in her. She enjoys his attention painfully and parasitically. When he confesses to his wife, Mona is blamed for the disruption, punished for her father’s actions, and kicked out of the family.

Mona’s life is chaotic, and she struggles to regain stability. Only when she experiences a profound and defining loss does she begin to replace absent love with real love? Pushed to the brink, she must decide how she wants to live, what Mona needs to say, and the risks she’s willing to take to say it.

Claudia Dey provides penetrating insight and devilish humor to chronicle our most intimate lives in “Daughter.” It’s an obsessive and blazing examination of the forces that drive us to become, create, and break free.

×
1944: FDR and the Year That Changed History

Read: October 2019

Get this book

1944: FDR and the Year That Changed History

by Jay Winik

1944: FDR and the Year That Changed History by Jay Winik is a book that I had put off reading several times. When I finally did read it, I could not remember why I had not read it sooner. Had I gone to graduate school and become a professor, it might have been the type of book I might write, and I certainly would have had on my list of books for my classes. 

As The NY Times wrote, “Jay Winik brings to life in gripping detail the year 1944, which determined the outcome of World War II and put more pressure than any other on an ailing yet determined President Roosevelt.” Reading a book about events five years before my birth that transformed the world I live in becomes an easy page-turner.

It was not inevitable that World War II would end as it did or that it would even end well. Nineteen forty-four was a year that could have stymied the Allies and cemented Hitler’s waning power. Instead it saved those democracies – but with a fateful cost. Now, in a superbly told story, Jay Winik, the acclaimed author of April 1865 and The Great Upheaval, captures the epic images and extraordinary history as never before.

1944 witnessed a series of titanic events: FDR at the pinnacle of his wartime leadership as well as his reelection, the planning of Operation Overlord with Churchill and Stalin, the unprecedented D-Day invasion, the liberation of Paris, and the horrific Battle of the Bulge, and the tumultuous conferences that finally shaped the coming peace. But on the way, millions of more lives were still at stake as President Roosevelt was exposed to mounting evidence of the most grotesque crime in history, the Final Solution. Just as the Allies were landing in Normandy, the Nazis were accelerating the killing of millions of European Jews.

Winik shows how escalating pressures fell on an all but dying Roosevelt, whose rapidly deteriorating health was a closely guarded secret. Here then, as with D-Day, was a momentous decision for the president. Was winning the war the best way to rescue the Jews? Was a rescue even possible? Or would it get in the way of defeating Hitler? In a year when even the most audacious undertakings were within the world’s reach, including the liberation of Europe, one challenge – saving Europe’s Jews – seemed to remain beyond Roosevelt’s grasp.

I recommend this book.

Subscribe

Contact Us

×
O Beautiful A Novel

Read: March 2023

Get this book

O Beautiful: A Novel

by Jung Yun

O Beautiful: A Novel by Jung Yun, the critically acclaimed author of Shelter, has written an unflinching portrayal of a woman trying to come to terms with the ghosts of her past and the tortured realities of a deeply divided America. With spare and graceful prose, O Beautiful presents an immersive portrait of a community rife with tensions, competing interests, and one woman’s attempts to reconcile her anger with her love of beautiful but troubled land. I highly recommend O Beautiful!

I finished reading O Beautiful on International Women’s Day. It might have been coincidental, but in my humble opinion, it was the perfect book to read on this important day. Ms. Yun has written a novel that touches on the intersectionality of the core issues of our divided land. The misogyny, the racism, and the impact of capitalism out of control are all related and are affecting the quality of life in the early twenty-first century.

Elinor Hanson, the protagonist, is so vividly written that she jumps off the page and becomes someone we know as a family member. When she returned home to write about the Bakken oil boom in North Dakota, I felt I had known her all my life. Unfortunately, the novel ended when she finally understood the issues and was in touch with her anger. I wish it would have continued so that the problems might have been addressed. Despite this, I highly recommend this novel.

O Beautiful is the twenty-first book I have read this year! My goal was twenty-three.

The Goodreads summary provides an overview,

Elinor Hanson, a forty-something former model, struggles to reinvent herself as a freelance writer when she receives an unexpected assignment. Her mentor from grad school offers her a chance to write for a prestigious magazine about the Bakken oil boom in North Dakota.

Elinor grew up near the Bakken, raised by an overbearing father and a distant Korean mother who met and married when he was stationed overseas. After decades from home, Elinor returns to a landscape she hardly recognizes, overrun by tens of thousands of newcomers.

Surrounded by roughnecks seeking their fortunes in oil and long-time residents worried about their changing community, Elinor experiences a profound sense of alienation and grief. She rages at the unrelenting male gaze, the locals who still see her as a foreigner, and the memories of her family’s estrangement after her mother decided to escape her unhappy marriage, leaving Elinor and her sister behind.

The longer she pursues this potentially career-altering assignment, the more her past intertwines with the story she’s trying to tell, revealing disturbing new realities that will forever change her and how she looks at the world.

The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

Subscribe

Contact Us

I receive a commission when you buy a book or product using a link on this page. Thank you for supporting Sharing Jan’s Love blog.

×
Never Forget Our People Were Always Free

Read: March 2024

Get this book

Never Forget Our People Were Always Free

by Ben Jealous

Today, I started reading “Never Forget Our People Were Always Free: A Parable of American Healing” by Ben Jealous, the Executive Director of the Sierra Club. The book highlights how the path to healing America’s broken heart begins with each of us having the courage to heal ourselves. According to Mr. Jealous, it would be transformative if every American treated each other as cousins.

Ben Jealous is the son of parents who had to leave Maryland because their cross-racial marriage was illegal.

I briefly met Ben Jealous last May when I went to Washington with the Religious Action Center of Reform Judaism‘s Day of Action. When I saw Mr. Jealous speaking at Temple Emanu-El in neighboring Westfield, I immediately signed up to attend in person. He is an inspiration as an advocate for the environment, civil rights, and the healing of America’s broken heart.

His lively, courageous, and empathetic storytelling calls on every American to look past deeply cut divisions and recognize that we are all in the same boat now. Along the way, Jealous grapples with hidden American mysteries, including:

  • Why do white men die from suicide more often than black men die from murder?
  • How did racial profiling kill an American president?
  • What happens when a Ku Klux Klansman wrestles with what Jesus said?
  • How did Dave Chappelle know the DC Snipers were Black?
  • Why shouldn’t the civil rights movement give up on rednecks?
  • When is what we have collectively forgotten about race more important than what we know?
  • What do the most indecipherable things our elders say tell us about ourselves?

The book Never Forget Our People Were Always Free is told through parables. It features intimate glimpses of political and faith leaders such as Jack Kemp, Stacey Abrams, and the late Archbishop Desmond Tutu. The book also highlights unlikely heroes such as a retired constable, a female pirate from Madagascar, a long-lost Irishman, a death row inmate, and a man with a Confederate flag over his heart.

Never Forget Our People Were Always Free offers readers hope that America’s oldest wounds can heal and her oldest divisions can be overcome.

Although I have only read a handful of pages of the book, I highly recommend it!

×
We Were Eight Years in Power

Read: September 2020

Get this book

We Were Eight Years in Power

by Ta-Nehisi Coates

We Were Eight Years in Power by Ta-Nehisi Coates is a collection featuring the landmark essay The Case for Reparations he wrote for The Atlantic. Even though I am a subscriber to The Atlantic and have read many of the pieces, this is a must-read book as it reflects on race, Barack Obama’s presidency, and its jarring aftermath, including the election of Donald Trump.

We were eight years in power as the lament of Reconstruction-era black politicians as the American experiment in multiracial democracy ended with the return of white supremacist rule in the South. In this sweeping collection of new and selected essays, Ta-Nehisi Coates explores the tragic echoes of that history in our own time: the unprecedented election of a black president followed by a vicious backlash that fueled the election of the man Coates argues is America’s first white president.

But the story of these present-day eight years is not just about presidential politics. This book also examines the new voices, ideas, and movements for justice that emerged over this period and the effects of the persistent, haunting shadow of our nation’s old and unreconciled history. Coates powerfully examines the events of the Obama era from his intimate and revealing perspective:” the point of view of a young writer who begins the journey in an unemployment office in Harlem and ends it in the Oval Office, interviewing a president.

We Were Eight Years in Power features Coatesa’s iconic essays first published in The Atlantic, including Fear of a Black President, The Case for Reparations, and The Black Family in the Age of Mass Incarceration, along with eight fresh essays that revisit each year of the Obama administration through Coate’s own experiences, observations, and intellectual development, capped by a bracingly original assessment of the election that fully illuminated the tragedy of the Obama era. We Were Eight Years in Power is a vital account of modern America, from one of the definitive voices of this historic moment.

I recommend this book to all readers.

Subscribe

Contact Us

×