My Midnight Lifeline Call

Estimated reading time: 9 minutes, 7 seconds

Flat Tire Deflates My Life
A Friend Supports Me!

As I drove out of the parking deck, I noticed the tire pressure warning light glaring on the dashboard of my trusty twelve-year-old Toyota Prius. I briefly dismissed it, attributing it to the unusually high temperatures and humidity. Yet, as I navigated the transition from I-287 to Route 24 after a delightful dinner with friends, my car started trembling and emitting a foreboding noise that drowned out the radio. Feeling utterly vulnerable and uncertain, I grappled with the fear of losing control of the vehicle. Could this spell the end for me?

After pulling over on the side of the highway, I immersed myself in introspection, reminiscing about the beautiful evening spent in the company of my fellow widows. As Jan’s husband, I often felt like an outsider at social gatherings. However, following my loss, I felt a profound sense of belonging and equality among the five of us, all of whom were widows, including the gracious host. Our gathering had taken place at Becca’s retirement community, where she had kindly invited us to dine at one of the complex’s elegant restaurants. This group of widows, including myself, found solace and understanding in each other’s company, a particularly comforting bond in times of need.

Roadside Assistance

I carefully pulled off the road onto the shoulder of Route 24 East. Some road debris had deflated the tire of my trusty Prius, causing the car to lean at a precarious 45-degree angle. I activated the emergency flashers and kept a safe distance from the vehicle in the dim light of the busy and dark stretch of road, mindful of the potential dangers of roadside emergencies.

Leaning against the roadside railing, I reached for my iPhone and dialed AAA for assistance. At first, I thought no one had answered, so I repeated “hello” several times. Then, I heard a faint metallic voice on the Bluetooth connection inside the car. Realizing I had not turned off the engine, I opened the door, turned off the engine, and switched the audio to the iPhone to communicate with the AAA operator.

When the AAA repair truck arrived, I eagerly offered to retrieve the spare tire from the car, only to discover my vehicle did not have one. The shocking realization hit me, and I exclaimed, “OMG, there is no spare tire!” The AAA driver, Ron, explained that car manufacturers had stopped providing spare tires over a decade ago. Unfortunately, as there was no spare tire, Ron couldn’t help, and I had to call AAA again to request a tow truck instead of being able to drive home.

My Lifeline Call

The night was moonless as I stood on the lonely roadside, filled with regret for not using the restroom at Becca’s apartment earlier. The urge to relieve myself had become unbearable. A chilling realization struck me as I peered over the railing – I was standing on the brink of a cliff. The thought of finding a discreet spot to urinate filled me with apprehension, knowing a misstep could lead to a fatal plunge. Terrifying thoughts of potential headlines flashed through my mind: “Bridges Board Chair Dies in a Dark Ravine!”

Feeling the gravity of the situation, I decided to contact a friend for help. I hastily texted her, “I just had dinner with the widows, but now I’m stuck with a flat tire on my way home. I am currently waiting on the roadside for AAA.” Despite the confusion regarding whether we were or were not in a relationship, I had no other option but to make my lifeline call as I needed her support with the approaching midnight.

Her response, ‘I’ll be leaving in about 15 minutes, and I’ll call you,’ was like a ray of hope in the darkness of the night. A surge of relief and gratitude engulfed me at that moment. In times of solitary struggle, having a friend to lean on can make all the difference. The weight of the situation lifted as I knew I wasn’t alone on the side of the road.

As I was engrossed in texting my friend, I almost missed the arrival of the AAA truck. Robert, the kind-hearted tow truck driver, listened as I explained my predicament and kindly recommended towing my car to the nearby Mavis Tire Store. His kindness was a soothing balm to my frayed nerves. Seated in the truck’s cab, I experienced slight dizziness from the unfamiliar height as I watched as the road stretched before me and we merged into traffic. The relief of the tow truck’s arrival and the driver’s kindness reassured me my difficult night was almost over.

While seated in the tow truck, I was engrossed in texting my friend when she suddenly gave me a call. I told her I would call her back. I inquired about Mavis’ operating hours for the upcoming Sunday, and Robert shook his head, chuckling softly. They’re likely closed until Tuesday due to the holiday,” he said. My mind buzzed with thoughts of managing Sunday grocery shopping without a car. As I pondered this, I thought of moving into a retirement community, where I could eat in the many restaurants instead of doing grocery shopping.

Arriving at the Mavis Tire store’s parking lot, I hurriedly approached Robert and inquired about the nearest restroom. He kindly pointed across the street, indicating that the only one he knew of was at QuickCheck. Before I could determine where the crosswalk was, my Lyft arrived, and my iPhone buzzed.

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The Swamps of Jersey

Read: October 2021

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The Swamps of Jersey

by Michael Stephen Daigle

The Swamps of Jersey by Michael Stephen Daigle is the first of the Frank Nagler series. Having read the fourth one – The Red Hand, I thought this was an excellent time to read the first in this impressive deceptive series. It was, in fact, an excellent decision. Understanding Frank Nagler better now, I plan to read the next two and the Red Hand to be ready for the fifth book Dragony Rising.

Ironton, New Jersey has seen hard times before. Deserted factories and empty stores reflect the decades-long decline, that even Mayor Gabriel Richman, scion of one of the city’s leading political families, cannot seem to rectify. Now families are living on the street or in the shells of the old factories.A week-long tropical storm floods the depressed city bringing more devastation as well as a new misery: The headless, handless body of a young woman in the Old Iron Bog.

Between the gruesome murder and an old factory suspiciously burning down, Detective Frank Nagler begins to believe that incarcerated Charlie Adams, the city’s famous serial killer, may have fostered a copycat killer. Determined to find the truth, he follows the case that leads into unexpected places.

Knowing the author and the geography of NJ, I found this book a must-read.

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A Train to Moscow

Read: February 2022

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A Train to Moscow

by Elena Gorokhova

A Train to Moscow by Elena Gorokhova is set in post–World War II Russia; a girl, must reconcile a tragic past with her hope for the future in this powerful and poignant novel about family secrets, passion, loss, perseverance, and ambition. In a small, provincial town behind the Iron Curtain, Sasha lives in a house full of secrets, one of which is her dream of becoming an actress.

When she leaves for Moscow to audition for drama school, she defies her mother and grandparents and abandons her first love, Andrei.

Before she leaves, Sasha discovers the hidden war journal of her uncle Kolya, an artist still missing in action years after the war has ended. His pages expose the official lies and the forbidden truth of Stalin’s brutality. Kolya’s revelations and tragic love story guide Sasha through drama school and cement her determination to live a thousand lives onstage.

After graduation, she begins acting in Leningrad, where Andrei, now a Communist Party apparatchik, becomes a censor of her work. As a past secret comes to light, Sasha’s ambitions converge with Andrei’s duties, and Sasha must decide if her dreams are genuinely worth the necessary sacrifice and if, as her grandmother likes to say, all will indeed be well.

This was a page-turner, as I held my breath to find out the next steps that Sasha would take. Her ambition combined with the secrets she learns keeps the reader focused on the next page.

I recommend this book.

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The Garden of Letters

Read: June 2021

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The Garden of Letters

by son Richman

The Garden of Letters by Alyson Richman was one of the first books I read after Jan died. It was the perfect love story to read after the loss of the love of my life. The love Jan and I shared was because we shared a portion of the soul of the other, and thus we were meant for each other from day one. 

The two primary characters – Elodie Bertolotti and Angelo Rosselli – resonated with me as they were also people who shared souls. The book “captures the hope, suspense, and romance of an uncertain era, in an epic intertwining story of first love, great tragedy, and spectacular bravery.

As I turned every page, the story filled my heart with love and happiness as it reminded me of the love that Jan and I shared.

Portofino, Italy, 1943. A young woman steps off a boat in a scenic coastal village. Although she knows how to disappear in a crowd, Elodie is too terrified to slip by the German officers while carrying her poorly forged identity papers. She is frozen until a man she’s never met before claims to know her. In desperate need of shelter, Elodie follows him back to his home on the cliffs of Portofino.

Only months before, Elodie Bertolotti was a cello prodigy in Verona, unconcerned with world events. But when Mussolini’s Fascist regime strikes her family, Elodie is drawn into the burgeoning resistance movement by Luca, a young and passionate bookseller. As the occupation looms, she discovers that her unique musical talents, and her courage, have the power to save lives.

In Portofino, young doctor Angelo Rosselli gives the frightened and exhausted girl sanctuary. He is a man with painful secrets of his own, haunted by guilt and remorse. But Elodie’s arrival has the power to awaken a sense of hope that Angelo thought was lost to him forever.

I not only recommend this book, but I am also looking forward to reading more of her novels.

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Shred Sisters

Read: January 2025

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Shred Sisters: A Novel

by Betsy Lerner

Today, I dove into Betsy Lerner‘s debut novel, “Shred Sisters.” Lerner is also known for her acclaimed work, “The Bridge Ladies.” This gripping story beautifully unravels the intricate tapestry of family bonds, mental illness, and the tumultuous relationship between two sisters. It’s compelling enough to have earned a spot on the longlist for the Center for Fiction First Novel Prize.

The tagline resonates deeply: “No one will love or hurt you more than a sister.” When one family member is unstable, the entire family feels the impact. Enter the Shreds. Olivia, the sister in the spotlight, finds her once-stunning confidence becoming erratic and unpredictable, causing chaos in her wake. Her younger sister, Amy, is cautious and studious, believing in facts, proof, and empirical evidence. Yet none of that can explain what’s happening to Ollie, whose physical beauty and charisma hide the mental illness that will ultimately disrupt Amy’s carefully constructed life.

As Amy ages, she strives to find her place—first in academics, then in New York publishing, and through a series of troubled relationships. With every step she takes, she encounters Ollie, who unpredictably slips in and out of the Shred family’s life. Despite the challenges threatening their sibling bond, Amy and Ollie cannot escape or deny the unbreakable sisterly connection that ties them together.

Shred Sisters” is an intimate and bittersweet story that explores the complexities of sisterhood, mental health, loss, and love over two decades. In the end, Amy learns a valuable lesson on her journey to self-acceptance: no one will love or hurt you more than a sister. I can’t wait to see where this emotional journey takes me!



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Crow Lake

Read: January 2022

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Crow Lake

by Mary Lawson

Crow Lake by Mary Lawson is set in northern Ontario’s rural “badlands.” The badlands are where heartbreak and hardship are mirrored in the landscape of the farming Pye family. Crow Lake is that rare find, a first novel so quietly assured, so emotionally pitch-perfect, you know from the opening page that this is the real thing – a literary experience in which to lose yourself, by an author of immense talent.

Crow Lake was a page-turner for me once I read the prologue.

Two families dominate the story.

On the one hand, it is the Greek tragedy of the Pye family. On their farm, “the sins of the fathers are visited on the sons, and terrible events occur—offstage.”

Kate Morrison has left her two brothers and sister at the lake to become a zoologist. The four siblings lost their parents and struggled to remain together. Their “tragedy looks more immediate if less brutal, but is, in reality, insidious and divisive.”

As Goodreads describes the novel,

In this universal drama of family love and misunderstandings, of resentments harbored and driven underground, Lawson ratchets up the tension with heartbreaking humor and consummate control, continually overturning one’s expectations right to the very end. Tragic, funny, unforgettable, this deceptively simple masterpiece about the perils of hero worship leaped to the top of the bestseller lists only days after being released in Canada and earned glowing reviews in The New York Times and The Globe and Mail, to name a few.

I highly recommend this novel and am looking forward to reading more from Mary Lawson.

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Invisible Child

Read: December 2021

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Invisible Child: Poverty, Survival & Hope in an American City

by Andrea Elliott

Invisible Child: Poverty, Survival & Hope in an American City by Andrea Elliott was a gift from my son Jon. The New York Times selected “Invisible Child” as one of the best books published this year. It is indeed one of the top books on my all-time list.

GoodReads summary provides a good overview,

The riveting, unforgettable story of a girl whose indomitable spirit is tested by homelessness, poverty, and racism in an unequal America—from Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist Andrea Elliott of The New York Times

Invisible Child follows eight dramatic years in the life of Dasani Coates, a child with imagination as soaring as the skyscrapers near her Brooklyn homeless shelter. Born at the turn of a new century, Dasani is named for the bottled water that comes to symbolize Brooklyn’s gentrification and the shared aspirations of a divided city. As Dasani grows up, moving with her tight-knit family from shelter to shelter, this story goes back to trace the passage of Dasani’s ancestors from slavery to the Great Migration north. When Dasani comes of age, New York City’s homeless crisis explodes as the chasm deepens between rich and poor.

In the shadows of this new Gilded Age, Dasani must lead her seven siblings through a thicket of problems: hunger, parental drug addiction, violence, housing instability, segregated schools, and the constant monitoring of the child-protection system. When, at age thirteen, Dasani enrolls at a boarding school in Pennsylvania, her loyalties are tested like never before. As she learns to “code switch” between the culture she left behind and the norms of her new town, Dasani starts to feel like a stranger in both places. Ultimately, she faces an impossible question: What if leaving poverty means abandoning the family you love?

By turns heartbreaking and revelatory, provocative and inspiring, Invisible Child tells an astonishing story about the power of resilience, the importance of family, and the cost of inequality. Based on nearly a decade of reporting, this book vividly illuminates some of the most critical issues in contemporary America through the life of one remarkable girl.

Jan and I were involved and knew that child poverty and homelessness needed repair. In addition, Jan lived on Washington Park across from Ft. Greene Park in 1974-75. We knew the neighborhood where much of the book’s story takes place. 

Before meeting Jan in 1973, I was both a community/tenant organizer and a youth worker. In the latter role, I made weekly hostel trips for eight to ten young boys from East Williamsburg during 1973. The trips were the first the boys had ever been outside of their neighborhood.

Many of them had imaginations like Dasani. They also had her instinct to fight. One of my first tasks was to check for any weapons.

Decades later, when I would see any of them, now adults, they would ask when we were going on another trip. I wish I had met Jan when I made those trips. She would have helped me improve them and document the impact. If I could re-write history, I would have her join me as the second adult on the hostel trips.

After that summer, it was clear my primary skills were as a community/tenant organizer. Over the next few years, my work focused on creating affordable and supportive housing.

Jan and I did meaningful work that made a difference, yet the need for a permanent solution to the crisis remains. The book highlights the crucial role of resilience, the importance of family, and the cost of inequality. As a nation, we cannot undermine those values by breaking up families, impeding resilience, and maintaining racial and economic inequality. 

The current debate in Washington over the Build Back Better legislation needs to focus not on how much we spend but on its impact on children and families

David Brooks, a conservative commentator, has supported these expenditures for what they can do to address this country’s cultural and economic crisis. 

These packages say to the struggling parents and the warehouse workers: I see you. Your work has dignity. You are paving your way. You are at the center of our national vision.

This is how you fortify a compelling moral identity, which is what all of us need if we’re going to be able to look in the mirror with self-respect. This is the cultural transformation that good policy can sometimes achieve. Statecraft is soulcraft.

If you can only read one book this year, this is the one to read. Child poverty, homelessness, and inequality impact all of us. Ending child poverty and homelessness will make us a healthier and more inclusive nation. It is time for a compelling moral call to action!

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