Walking is Vital to My Conscientious Resilience!
Estimated reading time: 16 minutes, 48 seconds
Conscientious Resilience
As I near the end of this month, I eagerly look forward to beginning my seventy-seventh orbit around the Sun! I have embraced resilience throughout my journey through conscientious walking, reading, writing, worshiping, and volunteering. These passions serve as my foundation, guiding me through life after losing my beloved wife. Love is timeless; it ignites our spirits and motivates us to become the best versions of ourselves. No matter how long I live, my wife’s memory will forever be with me; her passion inspires me to live fully, love deeply, and commit to improving the world.
I understand that one day, weakness in my legs may prevent me from walking, and my vision might fade. Worship may transform from in-person gatherings to virtual experiences. I plan to rely on volunteers and hired staff to assist with my daily living. Yet, my journey will have strengthened me to face the end of life with resilience.
My friend Danny noted nearly a year ago that I had already transformed my life, writing, “You are an incredible person! You are a new person! A better person! Jan, although she is not here physically, has done so much for you!” His words brought me joy, even as I struggled to accept their truth.
In January, my Rabbi, Rav Uri, echoed these sentiments during his remarks when I received the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Distinguished Service Award. Though I had known Rav Uri for only a year, his words resonated with Danny’s comment.
I am a better person today because of the countless individuals who have supported me through my grief. During my long walks, I focus on being good rather than merely feeling good, as Jeffrey Rosen writes in “The Pursuit of Happiness: How Classical Writers on Virtue Inspired the Lives of the Founders.” This shift in focus allows me to confront my weaknesses instead of surrendering to indulgence.
Each step honors my wife, and I let my mind wander as I discover the strength and resilience to choose a life rich with meaning and purpose.
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After almost 48 years, I recently lost my wife, Jan Lilien. Like The Little Prince, Jan and I believed that “The most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or touched, they are felt with the heart.” This blog is a collection of my random thoughts on love, grief, life, and all things considered.
As you know, I am walking because of you. I am currently at day 55 of 100. Once I reach day 75, I plan to change my goal to walk 150 days.
I am excited by that goal because when I arrive at 150 days, I will have walked 10% of the days that you will have walked and it will be my one chance to have such alignment. I am excited!
So, why am I walking? I am walking because having a concrete goal of walking 100 days gives me reason not to quit. I am guessing that you start your walk each day for a similar reason. It gives you a reason not to quit, to keep going.
Once I begin my walk the reasons change and are different from day to day. However, the sense of accomplishment of having “walked today” is always there and my guess is that you likely walk for those endorphins too.
Thank you for inspiring me!
-Mark-
Mark, I want to express my gratitude for your friendship and support. It will be an honor to celebrate when you reach 150 days, and I’m currently at 1,410 days and counting.
I walk to enjoy the endorphins, but like you, each day I walk gives me one more reason not to quit. Some days my body protests, but once I start, the pain disappears, and I find myself in moments of tranquility with nature and life.
If I’ve inspired you to walk, you have encouraged me to live life fully after loss in countless ways.
I will always be grateful to have you as a friend.