Richard W. shared a post on September 10, 2022
Being Positive Despite Grief

Being Positive Despite Grief

Estimated reading time: 1 minute, 2 seconds

Jan and Richard December 1974A widow is like a solo traveler on a dark, endless journey.

One never has the time to breathe, much less to dream.

Earlier this week, when I went to see the Metromaniacs, I could laugh freely at the farce and not worry about the plot.

However, most of the time, I feel lonely, sad, and occasionally angry.

Why can’t I be happy? Be positive. Cease overthinking.

I find the words of Idil Ahmed challenging but full of hope,

It’s time just to be
happy. Being angry, sad, and
overthinking isn’t worth it
anymore. Just let things
flow. Be Positive.

May I be blessed to find a way to be happy and positive while continuing to love Jan?

In this new phase of my life, the love Jan and I shared is all that matters, and it will never die!

The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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Jan and Richard

Why Am I Giving Her Love Away?

"Why are you giving her love away?" My answer is that I am not giving it away. What I am doing is sharing her love. The love they receive increases as they share it with others.
Richard W. Brown October 27, 2021

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Richard W. Brown
Being Positive Despite Grief

Love Never Dies!

Estimated reading time: 1 minute, 2 seconds

Richard W. Brown speaks about grief, sharing Jan’s love, and how Hanson Park became the site of Jan’s Memorial Garden.

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Being Positive Despite Grief
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The Passing Storm

Read: May 2022

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The Passing Storm

by Christine Nolfi

The Passing Storm by Christine Nolfi is a gripping, openhearted novel about family, reconciliation, and bringing closure to the secrets of the past. From the first chapter, it was a pageturner and a book that engaged me when I needed to focus on life’s challenges. I was looking for something different from my most recent books.

I very much enjoyed this novel. It is focused on losses, including one parent and a daughter. I had not anticipated that but found that Ms. Nolfi handled that in an empathic way that did not trigger my grief but helped me understand my grief. The primary characters Rae, Quinn, Connor, and Griffin are brought to life by the writer. It left me wanting to know what happens to them now that they have survived the early stages of grief.

The Goodreads summary provides a good overview.

Early into the turbulent decade of her thirties, Rae Langdon struggles to work through grief she never anticipated. With her father, Connor, she tends to their Ohio farm, a forty-acre spread that has enjoyed better days. As memories sweep through her, some too precious to bear, Rae gives shelter from a brutal winter to a teenager named Quinn Galecki.

His parents have thrown out Quinn, a couple too troubled to help steer the misunderstood boy through his losses. Now Quinn has found a temporary home with the Langdons—and an unexpected kinship because Rae, Quinn, and Connor share a past and understand one another’s pain. But its depths—and all its revelations and secrets—have yet to come to light. To finally move forward, Rae must confront them and fight for Quinn, whose parents have other plans for their son.

There might be hope for a new season with forgiveness, love, and the spring thaw—a second chance Rae believed in her heart was gone forever.

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The Pull of the Stars

Read: June 2022

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The Pull of the Stars

by Emma Donoghue

After Jan’s death and over two years of COVID, The Pull of the Stars might not seem like a good read for me. But I had placed this book on my to-read list a few months ago.  The Pull of the Stars by Emma Donoghue is set in 1918 in Dublin; a maternity ward at the height of the Great Flu is a small world of work, risk, death, and unlooked-for love. It was a page-turner that engrossed me at that moment. When I reached the last page, I wanted the story to continue. 

The details about childbirth, life, and death were riveting. All three of the main characters are ones that I could have imagined in an episode of Call the Midwife. That Dr. Lynn was a natural person underscores the depth of Ms. Donoghue’s research and writing skills. 

Julie and Bridie’s characters were so real it was difficult to believe that they were not also based on natural persons. 

I strongly recommend The Pull of the Stars.

The Goodreads summary provides an overview.

In an Ireland ravaged by war and disease, Nurse Julia Power works at an understaffed hospital in the city center, where expectant mothers who have come down with the terrible new Flu are quarantined together. Into Julia’s regimented world step two outsiders—Doctor Kathleen Lynn, a rumored Rebel on the run from the police, and a young volunteer helper, Bridie Sweeney.

With tireless tenderness and humanity, carers and mothers somehow do their impossible work. In the darkness and intensity of this minor ward, these women change each other’s lives in unexpected ways over three days. They lose patients to this baffling pandemic but shepherd new life into a fearful world.

In The Pull of the Stars, Emma Donoghue again finds the light in the darkness in this new classic of hope and survival against all odds.

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My Friends: A Novel

Read: October 2024

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My Friends: A Novel

by Hisham Matar'

Today, I started reading Hisham Matar’s “My Friends: A Novel.” It is a finalist for the 2024 National Book Award for Fiction and the winner of the Orwell Prize for Political Fiction. This novel explores themes of friendship, family, and the harsh realities of exile. Hisham Matar is also the Pulitzer Prize-winning author of “The Return.” The pages on my Kindle App on my iPad fly like autumn’s falling leaves.

One evening, a young boy named Khaled, growing up in Benghazi, hears a captivating short story read aloud on the radio. The story, about a man being eaten alive by a cat, leaves an indelible mark on Khaled, igniting a lifelong fascination with the power of words and the enigmatic author, Hosam Zowa. This transformative experience sets Khaled on a journey that will lead him far from home to the University of Edinburgh to pursue a life of the mind.

In a new and unfamiliar environment, Khaled finds himself far from his familiar life in Libya. His resilience is tested when he attends a protest against the Qaddafi regime in London. The event turns into a tragedy, leaving Khaled injured and unable to leave Britain. Despite the danger posed by monitored phone lines, his determination to communicate his situation to his parents is a testament to his strength.

When Khaled has a chance encounter with Hosam Zowa, the author of a life-changing short story, at a hotel, Khaled begins the most profound friendship of his life. This friendship sustains him and eventually compels him, as the Arab Spring unfolds, to confront complex tensions between revolution and safety, family and exile, and how to define his sense of self concerning those closest to him.

A profound exploration of friendship and family and how time can test and fray these bonds, ‘My Friends‘ is a work of literature that resonates with its readers. Hisham Matar’‘s novel is not just a story but an achingly beautiful reflection on life and relationships crafted by an author at the peak of his powers.

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Ripe: A Novel

Read: July 2023

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Ripe: A Novel by Sarah Rose Etter

by Sarah Rose Etter

I started reading “Ripe: A Novel” by Sarah Rose Etter today. This book has won awards and is highly praised by Roxane Gay for its uniqueness and brilliance. It tells the story of a woman in Silicon Valley who must choose how much she will sacrifice for success. Fans of “My Year of Rest and Relaxation” and “Her Body and Other Parties” will enjoy this surreal tale.

Cassie has worked at a Silicon Valley start-up for a year but feels stuck in a corporate nightmare. The long hours, toxic bosses, and unethical projects are taking a toll on her. She has a hard time reconciling the stark contrast between the abundance of wealth and the poverty and suffering that exist side by side in the city. Cassie observes Ivy League graduates complaining about snack options in a conference room overlooking unhoused people bathing in the bay. She’s witnessed start-up burnouts who throw themselves in front of commuter trains and men who light themselves on fire in the streets.

Even though Cassie is often by herself, she never feels entirely alone. Since she can remember, she has had a tiny black hole that is always with her. This black hole feeds off her feelings of sadness and worry, getting bigger or smaller depending on how much she struggles. While it watches her, it also waits patiently. Its powerful force keeps pulling Cassie closer as everything in her life seems to fall apart.

Cassie finds herself pregnant unexpectedly while dealing with her CEO’s illegal demands. She must weigh the benefits of Silicon Valley against the risks. Ripe follows the journey of one millennial woman through the absurdities of modern life, offering a sharp yet vulnerable, unsettling yet darkly comic commentary on our late-capitalist hellscape.

The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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I receive a commission when you buy a book or product using a link on this page. Thank you for supporting Sharing Jan’s Love blog.

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Neighbors and Other Stories

Read: February 2024

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Neighbors and Other Stories

by Diane Oliver

Today, I began reading “Neighbors and Other Stories” by Diane Oliver. It’s a powerful and eerie debut collection of stories that portrays the struggles of different characters as they face the everyday dangers of racism during the Jim Crow era. The book features an introduction by Tayari Jones.

Diane Oliver is an important yet often overlooked figure in African American literature of the 20th century. She was a gifted writer, ahead of her time, whose talent was cut short by her untimely death at 22 in 1966. Nevertheless, she left behind a remarkable collection of crisply written and often chilling tales that delve into race and racism in America during the 1950s and 60s. Oliver’s insightful stories remain relevant today; this is the only existing collection of her works. She has rightfully earned her place in the literary canon as a masterful storyteller.

The passage below describes several short stories with different themes. The first story, “The Closet on the Top Floor,” tells the story of Winifred, the first Black student in a newly integrated college. In this story, Winifred begins to disappear, physically creating a nightmarish scenario. The second story is titled “Mint Juleps not Served Here.” It’s about a couple who live deep in a forest with their son. They will go to bloody lengths to protect him from any danger. The third story, “Spiders Cry without Tears,” features a couple named Meg and Walt. They must confront prejudices and strains of interracial and extramarital love. Finally, the last story is the titular one, and it’s a high-tension narrative that follows a nervous older sister the night before her younger brother is set to desegregate his school.

These are powerful and personal depictions of African American families‘ everyday struggles and moments of distress, illustrating how they utilize their abilities to overcome challenges. “Neighbors” is an enthralling compilation and a valuable historical and social document, displaying the remarkable literary skills of a previously overlooked author.

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The Unsettled: A Novel

Read: October 2023

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The Unsettled: A Novel

by Ayana Mathis

I highly recommend reading “The Unsettled: A Novel” by Ayana Mathis. It’s a brilliant, explosive, and vitally crucial new work from one of America’s most fiercely talented storytellers. The story follows Ava Carson and her ten-year-old son, Toussaint, arriving at the Glenn Avenue family shelter in Philadelphia in 1985. From the outset, Ava is already thinking of a way to escape.

She is disgusted by the shelter’s squalid conditions, including a room infested with cockroaches, barely edible food, and an untrustworthy night security guard. She is resolute in her mission to rescue her son from the shelter’s dangers and humiliations and free herself from the complex past that led them there.

Ava and her mother, Dutchess, have been estranged for many years since Ava left her Alabama home as a young woman. Despite the miles between them, mother and daughter are still deeply connected. However, Ava finds it hard to forgive her mother for her sharp tongue, intractability, and bouts of despair that led to neglect and hunger during her childhood.

Ava wants to be a better mother to her son, Toussaint. However, when Toussaint’s father, Cass, suddenly reappears, Ava is drawn to his charisma and radical vision to dismantle systems of racial injustice and establish a new communal living.

Meanwhile, in Alabama, Dutchess is facing a difficult challenge. She is struggling to prevent the sale of Bonaparte to white developers, who are rapidly encroaching on the land. Bonaparte has been a beacon of Black freedom and self-determination, and it is now in the hands of its last five Black residents – families who have lived there for generations. Dutchess is fighting to preserve the venerable history of Bonaparte and the land, which she has worked hard to keep as Ava’s inheritance.

As Ava approaches Cass, Toussaint begins to sense danger around him. He worries about his mother’s erratic behavior and his father’s intense and volatile nature. Toussaint dreams of returning to Bonaparte and Dutchess, where he was born and raised. He hopes to find his way back there soon.

The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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I receive a commission when you buy a book or product using a link on this page. Thank you for supporting Sharing Jan’s Love blog.

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