Caregiving

Caregiving is Love

Estimated reading time: 0 minutes, 34 seconds

Nothing Could Prepare Me for Watching My Wife Slip Away” by Tom Coughlin on Aug. 24, 2021, is an excellent reminder of the critical role of caregivers. It is a commitment I made to Jan not only on the day we married but also every day we met.

With a constantly changing playbook, I woke up every day committed to doing this job better than any I had ever done. I am not sure if I improved, but I know that the love, care, and support I provided helped my wife during the most challenging days of her life.

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Sliding Doors

I am not sure if I was a good caregiver, but I know that the love, care, and support I provided helped my wife during the most challenging days of her life. Two years later, I know that I did the best I could as a caregiver in my heart.

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How to Love Your Daughter

Read: August 2023

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How to Love Your Daughter

by Hila Blum

I started reading a novel called “How to Love Your Daughter,” written by Hila Blum and translated by Daniella Zamir today. The book explores a complicated relationship between a mother and her grown daughter. It raises the question of how much harm we can do to our loved ones when love blinds us.

The story takes place thousands of miles away from home, where a woman finds herself peeking through well-lit windows at her two granddaughters. She has never met them before, as they are the daughters of her estranged daughter, whom she hasn’t seen in years.

The book’s central theme revolves around the woman’s attempt to understand how a once-loving relationship between her and her daughter ended up in such a distant and unfathomable state. The story shifts past and present as the woman unravels her memories and long-buried emotions. She tries to make sense of the seemingly insignificant moments of parental care that, combined, may have undermined what she valued most.

The author, Blum, skillfully delves into the complexities of family life, where a parent can easily cross the line between protectiveness and possession without even realizing it. The story leaves us wondering whether it’s possible ever to find our way back from such a point.


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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The Brighter the Light

Read: June 2022

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The Brighter the Light

by Mary Ellen Taylor

The Brighter the Light by Mary Ellen Taylor was my eighty-ninth book since the beginning of 2019. After reading about Thomas Cromwell, I needed a change of pace. With the start of the Hurricane season, it seemed as good a time as any to read a novel by a fellow Southerner. That the book is also an “evocative dual-timeline novel detailing one woman’s journey to discover the hidden stories of her family’s seaside resort” seemed a perfect match.

I highly recommend this book. As a Southerner, I found the revealing of the hidden secrets accomplished in a style that makes this a page-turner.

The Goodreads summary provides an overview.

When a shipwreck surfaces, old secrets are sure to follow.

Or so goes the lore in Ivy Neale’s hometown of Nags Head, North Carolina. When Ivy inherits her family’s beachfront cottage upon her grandmother’s death, she knows returning to Nags Head means facing the best friend and the boyfriend who betrayed her years ago.

But then a winter gale uncovers the shipwreck of local legend—and Ivy soon begins to stumble across more skeletons in the closet than just her own. Amid the cottage’s clutter are clues from her grandmother’s past at the enchanting seaside resort her family once owned. One fateful summer in 1950, the arrival of a dazzling singer shook the staff and guests alike—and not everyone made it to fall.

As Ivy contends with broken relationships and a burgeoning romance in the present, the past threatens to sweep her away. But as she uncovers the strength of her grandmother and the women who came before her, she realizes she is like the legendary shipwreck: the sands may shift around her, but she has found her home here by the sea.


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The Quiet Tenant

Read: August 2023

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The Quiet Tenant

by Clémence Michallon

Today, I commenced reading The Quiet Tenant by Clémence Michallon. It is not my typical genre, as it is a pulse-pounding psychological thriller about a serial killer narrated by those closest to him: his 13-year-old daughter, his girlfriend—and the one victim he has spared.

Aidan Thomas is a hard-working family man and a somewhat beloved figure in the small upstate New York town where he lives. He’s the man who always lends a hand and has a good word for everyone. But Aidan has a dark secret he’s been keeping from everyone in town and those closest to him. He’s a kidnapper and serial killer. Aidan has murdered eight women, and there’s a ninth he has earmarked for death: Rachel, imprisoned in a backyard shed, fearing for her life.

When Aidan’s wife dies, he and his thirteen-year-old daughter Cecilia are forced to move. Aidan has no choice but to bring Rachel along, introducing her to Cecilia as a “family friend who needs a place to stay. Aidan is betting on Rachel, after five years of captivity, being too brainwashed and fearful to attempt to escape. But Rachel is a fighter and survivor and recognizes Cecilia might be the lifeline she has waited for all these years. As Rachel tests the boundaries of her new living situation, she begins to form a tenuous connection with Cecilia. And when Emily, a local restaurant owner, develops a crush on the handsome widower, she finds herself drawn into Rachel and Cecilia’s orbit, dangerously close to discovering Aidan’s secret.

Told through the perspectives of Rachel, Cecilia, and Emily, The Quiet Tenant explores the psychological impact of Aidan’s crimes on the women in his life—and the bonds between those women that give them the strength to fight back. A searing thriller and an astute study of trauma, survival, and power dynamics, The Quiet Tenant is an electrifying debut thriller by a significant talent.


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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I receive a commission when you buy a book or product using a link on this page. Thank you for supporting Sharing Jan’s Love blog.



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Beautyland: A Novel

Read: June 2024

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Beautyland: A Novel

by Marie-Helene Bertino

I started reading “Beautyland: A Novel” by Marie-Helene Bertino today. The novel is about the fragility and resilience of life on Earth and in our universe. It tells the story of a baby born with extraordinary perception to a single mother in Philadelphia when Voyager 1 embarks on its interstellar journey. As we follow Adina Giorno’s growth, we witness her awakening to her exceptional nature—a profound understanding of a distant planet.

With the introduction of a fax machine, she established a unique form of communication with her extraterrestrial kin, who dispatched her to observe and document the peculiarities of Earthlings. As Adina navigates the complexities of the human world, she not only shares her observations on the joys and terrors of existence but also grapples with her identity and the connections she forms. At a pivotal moment, a trusted friend encourages her to share her transmissions with the world, leading her to question if she is alone in her experiences.

Beautyland‘ is a wise, tender novel about a woman who doesn’t feel at home on Earth, penned by the highly acclaimed Marie-Helene Bertino, the author of ‘Parakeet.’ With her proven ability to craft compelling narratives, Bertino’s ‘Beautyland’ is a surefire way to captivate readers interested in contemporary fiction, themes of identity, and human connection.

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The Book of Love: A Novel

Read: March 2024

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The Book of Love: A Novel

by Kelly Link

I started reading “The Book of Love: A Novel” by Kelly Link today. The book showcases her exceptional writing skills, where she channels different forms of love, including friendships, romance, and family ties, with her trademark compassion, wit, and literary prowess. Readers can expect to experience joy, a little terror, and an affirmation that love endures despite challenges.

The story revolves around Laura, Daniel, and Mo, who mysteriously vanished from their hometown in Lovesend, Massachusetts, and were presumed dead. However, almost a year later, they find themselves in a high school classroom with their unremarkable music teacher. The teacher seems to know why they disappeared and what brought them back. They agree to undertake magical tasks to reclaim their lives, allowing them to return to their families and friends, but they can’t reveal where they’ve been. The tasks would lead to winners and losers.

Their resurrection attracts the attention of other supernatural beings with their agendas, which puts the community in danger and chaos. As Laura, Daniel, and Mo try to piece their lives together, and Laura’s sister Susannah tries to make sense of what she remembers, they must solve the mystery of their deaths to prevent a looming disaster.

The story takes place in Lovesend, where readers will experience love and loss, laughter and dread, magic, karaoke, and some delicious pizza.

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James: A Novel

Read: June 2024

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James: A Novel

by Percival Everett

I started reading “James: A Novel” by Percival Everett, my fiftieth book this year. After reading only a few pages, I knew I had selected the perfect novel. The story revolves around an enslaved man named Jim who overhears that he is about to be sold to a man in New Orleans, separating him from his wife and daughter forever. In response, he decides to hide on nearby Jackson Island while formulating a plan.

Simultaneously, we encounter Huck Finn, who has staged his death to flee his abusive father and has recently resurfaced in town. The narrative unfolds as they embark on a perilous journey, navigating the Mississippi River on a raft. Each turn brings floods, storms, and unexpected encounters, including a run-in with the Duke and Dauphin.

While the familiar elements of ‘Adventures of Huckleberry Finn‘ are present, ‘James: A Novel‘ offers a unique perspective. It illuminates Jim’s agency, intelligence, and compassion, challenging our preconceived notions and offering a fresh take on a classic narrative.

James: A Novel‘ is not just a book; it’s a cornerstone of twenty-first-century American literature. It’s a testament to Everett’s literary prowess, solidifying his status as a true icon in the literary world.

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