Centenarian Fantasies!

Centenarian Fantasies!

Living One Day at a Time Instead of Planning a Three-Digit Birthday!

Estimated reading time: 2 minutes, 10 seconds

As I approached the pedestrian bridge construction sign in Nomahegan Park, the sound of determined footsteps caught my attention. A runner, his pace unwavering, was swiftly approaching from behind. It was a pleasant, rain-free day, and I exchanged a friendly greeting with the runner as he passed me. Pausing to catch his breath, he shared a touching story about his father, who started walking at the age of seventy-eight after being diagnosed with diabetes. “I run four miles a day,” he said with unwavering determination, “so I can live to 100.”

His resolve was inspiring, a testament to the power of determination in the face of aging. But long-term goals can seem like a fantasy of youth. Reflecting on my commitment to walking, I remarked, “At forty, you could easily live another sixty years.” He kindly corrected me, revealing that he was 52, turning 53 soon. I nodded and wondered if he knew my age as he jogged ahead, leaving me lost in my thoughts as my feet continued to carry me forward.

Approaching the end of the park path, I saw my new friend turning around at the site of the missing footbridge separating us from the far side. I bid farewell to the peaceful park and carefully planned my routes to complete the 2.8 miles required for the monthly Apple Watch fitness challenge. Lost in my thoughts, I contemplated the passing of time and my once sincere aspiration to reach 100. I had been fortunate to have navigated past the difficulties of a non-existent mid-life crisis.

Believing that consistent physical activity and self-care could help me reach 100, I saw it as a reason to celebrate a century of living, with three-quarters spent with my bride. When I vocalized this optimistic outlook, my wife offered a contrasting perspective, saying, “Enjoy your centenary; I can’t fathom living that long.” Her words added an intriguing contrast to my thoughts, highlighting the different ways we perceive the passage of time and the idea of a long life.

Since losing my wife, I’ve learned to cherish each day as a precious gift. Completing my daily walk, once a routine activity, now holds great significance, especially considering I’ve done it for 1194 consecutive days. Living another twenty-five years evokes many emotions, yet I’ve learned to focus on the present and find meaning in these small daily triumphs. As I sit down to untie my shoes, the pain in my back serves as a poignant reminder of the toll that time has taken. These immediate concerns feel more pressing than any distant aspirations I once held.

Grief’s Lesson: Serving and Blessing the Living!

I have noticed various changes within me sparked by the transformative power of grief. It's a testament to the resilience of the human spirit and the potential for positive change.

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Centenarian Fantasies!
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Living With Loss, One Day at a Time

Read: September 2021

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Living With Loss, One Day at a Time

by Rachel Blythe Kodanaz

Living With Loss, One Day at a Time by Rachel Blythe Kodanaz is the book I would recommend for anyone beginning or in the early stages of grief. It should be on the griever’s nightstand so they can start and end their day with reading.

Ms. Kodanaz has presented at my bereavement groups and has been an inspiration. She encouraged me not only to continue writing but also to share my thoughts publicly.

Usually, I only write a review once I have finished the book. However, this is a collection of thoughts for each day of the journey. Over the first weekend, I read up to the number of days since my wife died. Now I will read the daily message each day. When I get to the end of the year, I will start over.

There are many essential gems in the daily readings. The one for Day 9, Love Never Dies, jumped off the page due to my writings on the same theme.

Love Never Dies. Your loved one has passed away, but the love you shared has not died. The memories you created, the connection you built together, and your affection toward one another will live forever.

Embrace the love and cherish the memories, as they will always be a part of you remain in your heart.

There are at least a dozen others that I have earmarked for future streams or even the basis of future posts.

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Corey Fah Does Social Mobility

Read: February 2024

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Corey Fah Does Social Mobility

by Isabel Waidner

Today, I began reading “Corey Fah Does Social Mobility: A Novel” by Isabel Waidner. The book is about Corey Fah, a writer whose novel has just won the Fictionalization of Social Evils prize. Despite this achievement, the trophy and funds with the award still need to be in reach. The novel celebrates radical queer survival and challenges false notions of success.

Corey, their partner Drew, and their pet spider, Bambi Pavok, embark on a quest to find an elusive trophy with neon-beige color and UFO-like qualities. This journey takes them back to their childhood in the forest and includes a stint on a reality TV show. While facing the horrors of wormholes and time loops, Corey discovers the difference between a prize and a gift in a complex way.

Following the Goldsmiths Prize–winning Sterling Karat Gold, Isabel Waidner’s bold and buoyant new novel is about coming into one’s own, the labor of love, the tendency of history to repeat itself, and what ensues when a large amount of cultural capital is suddenly deposited in a place it has never been before.

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Zenith Man

Read: February 2023

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Zenith Man, Inheritance #4

by Jennifer Haigh

Tonight I read Zenith Man by Jennifer HaighA 911 call begins the story. A man reports his wife had died, but no one knew he had a wife. For thirty-two years, they had been married, and only one person had seen her, but only for a minute when she said: “supper was ready.” I read the first page and immediately found myself with a short page-turner that I could not stop reading. I recommend Zenith Man.

Actual events inspired this story. For many decades, many acquaintances of Jan and mine had no idea we were married. Once they found out, the response was, “we should have known as the two of you are perfect for each other.” But they knew we were married and had met both of us.

Being a widow, I found this phrase in the story emotional and very moving.

“She was a good woman,” Harold told Cob Krug. “I was lucky to have her. I promised to keep her in sickness and in health, and that’s what I did.”

Is there anything more that can summarize the love between two people?

I highly recommend Zenith Man, part of Inheritance, a collection of five stories about secrets, unspoken desires, and dangerous revelations between loved ones. Each Inheritance piece can be read or listened to in a single setting. By yourself, behind closed doors, or shared with someone you trust. Zenith Man is the fourth one in the series I have read. The previous three were Everything My Mother Taught Me, Can You Feel This?, and The Lion’s Den.

I have enjoyed all four and look forward to reading the final one.

Now that I have read Ms. Haigh’s short story, I have added her newest novel, Mercy Streetto my queue.

The Goodreads summary provides an overview,

Whatever had been going on inside the shuttered old house, the couple who lived there kept it to themselves. Among the locals, there’s only chilling speculation.

Neighbors are shocked when Harold Pardee reports his wife dead. No one even knew the eccentric TV repairman was married. Within hours, horrible rumors spread about what that poor woman must have endured for thirty years. Until the Pardees’ carefully guarded world is exposed. New York Times bestselling author Jennifer Haigh delivers an endearing short story about our misguided perception of strangers, the nature of love, and the need for secrets.


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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North Woods: A Novel

Read: December 2023

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North Woods: A Novel

by Daniel Mason

I recommend reading “North Woods: A Novel” by Daniel Mason today. It is the story of two young lovers who leave a Puritan colony and find shelter in a humble cabin in the woods. They are unaware this cabin will become home to a succession of extraordinary human and nonhuman characters. “North Woods” has been named one of the ten best books of 2023 by both the New York Times Book Review and the Washington Post.

An English soldier who was destined for glory decides to abandon the battlefields of the New World to dedicate himself to growing apples. Meanwhile, a pair of spinster twins navigate war and famine, dealing with envy and desire. A crime reporter discovers an ancient mass grave but soon realizes the earth refuses to give up its secrets. In the same town, a lovelorn painter, a sinister con man, a stalking panther, and a lusty beetle are all present. As the inhabitants confront the wonder and mystery around them, they realize that the dark, raucous, and beautiful past is still alive.

This remarkable and highly imaginative novel by Pulitzer Prize finalist Daniel Mason is full of love, insanity, humor, and optimism. North Woods follows the cycles of history, nature, and language to reveal the numerous, enchanting ways we are connected to our surroundings, history, and each other. It is not just a memorable story about secrets and fates but a perspective on the world that poses the timeless question: How can we continue living even after we are gone?


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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I receive a commission when you buy a book or product using a link on this page. Thank you for supporting Sharing Jan’s Love blog.



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James: A Novel

Read: June 2024

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James: A Novel

by Percival Everett

I started reading “James: A Novel” by Percival Everett, my fiftieth book this year. After reading only a few pages, I knew I had selected the perfect novel. The story revolves around an enslaved man named Jim who overhears that he is about to be sold to a man in New Orleans, separating him from his wife and daughter forever. In response, he decides to hide on nearby Jackson Island while formulating a plan.

Simultaneously, we encounter Huck Finn, who has staged his death to flee his abusive father and has recently resurfaced in town. The narrative unfolds as they embark on a perilous journey, navigating the Mississippi River on a raft. Each turn brings floods, storms, and unexpected encounters, including a run-in with the Duke and Dauphin.

While the familiar elements of ‘Adventures of Huckleberry Finn‘ are present, ‘James: A Novel‘ offers a unique perspective. It illuminates Jim’s agency, intelligence, and compassion, challenging our preconceived notions and offering a fresh take on a classic narrative.

James: A Novel‘ is not just a book; it’s a cornerstone of twenty-first-century American literature. It’s a testament to Everett’s literary prowess, solidifying his status as a true icon in the literary world.



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Monkey Grip: A Novel

Read: February 2024

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Monkey Grip: A Novel

by Helen Garner

Today, I began reading Monkey Grip: A Novel by Helen Garner. It’s a book that launched the career of one of Australia’s most celebrated writers. The story follows the infatuations of a young, single mother fascinated by the excesses of Melbourne’s late-70s counterculture. Monkey Grip is a seminal novel about Australia’s turbulent 1970s, including communal households, music, friendships, children, love, drugs, and sex.

Helen Garner is a renowned novelist, short-story writer, and journalist. She’s best known for her frank, unsparing, and intricate portrayals of Australian life, often drawn from the pages of her journals and diaries. A new US edition of her debut novel, which establishes Garner’s masterful and quietly radical literary voice, is now available.

The novel is set in Australia during the late 1970s and tells the story of Nora, a single mother and writer. Nora navigates Melbourne’s bohemian underground with her young daughter, Gracie, in tow. Nora falls in love with Javo, a flighty man trapped in his addiction. As their relationship disintegrates, Nora struggles to wean off a love that feels impossible to live without.

When Monkey Grip was first published in 1977, it caused a sensation. Critics praised Garner for her craft, but many criticized her gritty depictions of the human body, frankness about sex and drugs, the mess of motherhood, and her unabashed use of her own life as inspiration. Today, such criticism feels old-fashioned and glaringly gendered, and Monkey Grip is considered a modern masterpiece.

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