Jan Lilien, the love of my life

Discovering Life’s Secret Sauce

Jan's Love is All I Ever Needed

Estimated reading time: 2 minutes, 29 seconds
Johnnie Caldwell Walker, My Grandmother

Johnnie Caldwell Walker, My Grandmother

As an eight-year-old, I once sat on a stool in my childhood home’s galley kitchen, seeking clarification from my grandmother about the meaning of “a little of this and a little of that.”

Although slightly disappointed, my grandmother quickly lifted my spirits by offering me a yummy chocolate chip cookie we had baked the day before. She explained that it merely referred to a small amount. Despite not receiving a complete response to my inquiry, I was grateful for the delicious treat.

Even though they were a day old, my grandmother’s cookies still had a buttery, melt-in-your-mouth texture. I understand that you want to write down the recipe, but some steps cannot be translated into specific measurements,” she commented.

I couldn’t respond immediately as I had just finished devouring the last of the cookie. After taking a sip of milk, I explained that while I knew the difference between cup sizes, teaspoons, and tablespoons, I was unsure about the amount of “a little” of certain ingredients. I want to improve my cooking skills and learn to measure ingredients better,” I explained.

My grandmother reassured me that I would better understand the measurements and quantities required for cooking as I grew older.

I confided in my grandmother about my lack of confidence in my cooking skills, feeling frustrated and inferior compared to her. My grandmother whispered that the secret to cooking and life was not a specific ingredient but learning to infuse everything with love. She hugged me and reassured me that being a great helper was an excellent place to start. Tears welled in my eyes, but I no longer felt embarrassed to cry in front of her.


As a child, I admired my grandmother’s cooking abilities and aspired to be as skilled as her one day. However, despite my best efforts, I am only a mediocre cook now that I am older.

For example, Jan requested that I prepare Matzoh Brie for her in her final days. I was unfamiliar with the recipe, but Jan kindly wrote it down. Following my grandmother’s advice, I added a generous amount of love while preparing it. This addition made the Matzoh Brie exceptional, and Jan couldn’t stop complimenting it as the most delicious meal she had ever eaten.

Even after Jan’s death, her love continues to inspire me. I can overcome challenges with confidence and grace by following her passion for life and infusing everything I do with her love.


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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Matzoh Brei for Jan!

In the kitchen, I followed her instructions step by step, with the only change I put in all my love into the Matzoh Brei. After some time, I went back upstairs and served her breakfast. I said, "Here you go, my love. Do you require anything else?"

Jan was in the middle of a call and shook her head negatively, so I quietly left the room and headed downstairs. As I reached the first floor, I overheard Jan exclaiming, "Wow, this is the best Matzoh Brei I've ever had!"

Love is the elusive yet essential ingredient that makes life complete and fulfilling.

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Fast Eating

Jan's Love is All I Ever Needed

Estimated reading time: 2 minutes, 29 seconds

Fast Eating

Recently, I have noticed that I devour my meals, even though I have never been a fan of fast food. I miss having my dear companion, Jan, by my side during mealtimes.

I rushed through my meals and cleaned up more efficiently without Jan. Unfortunately, I am left with nothing but the lonely hours of the night as my companion.

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Jan Lilien, the love of my life
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Autocracy, Inc.: The Dictators Who Want to Run the World

Read: January 2025

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Autocracy, Inc.

by Anne Applebaum

Today, I plunged into the captivating world of “Autocracy, Inc.: The Dictators Who Want to Run the World” by Anne Applebaum. I listened to an engaging discussion between her and YIVO Institute for Jewish Research‘s Executive Director, Jonathan Brent. Their insights left me eager for more, and I couldn’t resist making this book my next read. I’m thrilled to dive deeper into her thought-provoking perspective!

This compelling New York Times bestseller by the Pulitzer Prize-winning author paints a chilling picture of how autocratic regimes join forces to erode democracy globally. Applebaum sheds light on this pressing issue and offers insights on how we can unite to fight back.

We think we know what an autocratic state looks like: An all-powerful leader is at the top. He controls the police. The police threaten the people with violence. There are evil collaborators and maybe some brave dissidents.

But in the 21st century, that bears little resemblance to reality. Nowadays, autocracies are underpinned not by one dictator but by sophisticated networks composed of kleptocratic financial structures, surveillance technologies, and professional propagandists, all of which operate across multiple regimes, from China to Russia to Iran. Corrupt companies in one country do business with corrupt companies in another. The police in one country can arm and train the police in another, and propagandists share resources and themes, pounding home the same messages about the weakness of democracy and the evil of America.

International condemnation and economic sanctions cannot move the autocrats. Even popular opposition movements, from Venezuela to Hong Kong to Moscow, don’t stand a chance. The members of Autocracy, Inc. aren’t linked by a unifying ideology, like communism, but rather by a common desire for power, wealth, and impunity. In this urgent treatise, which evokes George Kennan’s essay calling for “containment” of the Soviet Union, Anne Applebaum calls for the democracies to reorient their policies to fight a new threat fundamentally.

 

 

 

In the video, Jonathan Brent asks Anne Applebaum to read the last paragraph of “Autocracy, Inc.: The Dictators Who Want to Run the World.”

There is no liberal world order anymore, and the aspiration to create one no longer seems real. But there are liberal societies, open and free countries that offer a better chance for people to live useful lives than closed dictatorships do. They are hardly perfect. Those that exist have deep flaws, profound divisions, and terrible historical scars. But that’s all the more reason to defend and protect them. So few of them have existed across human history; so many have existed for a short time and then failed. They can be destroyed from the outside and from the inside, too, by division and demagogues. Or they can be saved. But only if those of us who live in them are willing to make the effort to save them.

After finishing Autocracy, Inc.: The Dictators Who Want to Run the World,” this closing paragraph should be a call to action. Failure to respond to the challenge will doom our future to an unacceptable one. I recommend this book and encourage people to read it, discuss its contents, and take action to save our collective future.



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Normal Rules Don't Apply: Stories

Read: September 2023

Normal Rules Don’t Apply: Stories

by Kate Atkinson

Today, I commended reading Normal Rules Don’t Apply: Stories by Kate Atkinson, is a dazzling collection of eleven interconnected stories from the bestselling, award-winning author of Shrines of Gaiety and Life After Life, with everything that readers love about her novels—the inventiveness, the verbal felicity, the sharp observations on human nature, and the deeply satisfying emotional wallop.

Nothing is quite as it seems in this collection of eleven dazzling stories. We meet a queen who makes a bargain she cannot keep, a secretary who watches over the life she has just left, and a man who bets on a horse that may—or may not—have spoken to him. Everything that readers love about the novels of Kate Atkinson is here—the inventiveness, the verbal felicity, the sharp observations on human nature, and the deeply satisfying emotional wallop.

A startling and funny feast for the imagination, these stories conjure a multiverse of subtly connected worlds while illuminating the webs of chance and connection among us all.


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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I receive a commission when you buy a book or product using a link on this page. Thank you for supporting Sharing Jan’s Love blog.



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The Sum of Our Dreams

Read: September 2019

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The Sum of Our Dreams: A Concise History of America

by Louis P. Masur

The Sum of Our Dreams: A Concise History of America by Louis P. Masur is a book I got through my membership at One Day University. Professor Masur is one of the best teaches that One Day University has. He is the Board of Governors Distinguished Professor of American Studies and History at Rutgers University.

Most concise histories leave out more than they include. I found the Sum of our Dreams to be an excellent book to read, and professor Masur conveyed the American experience concisely and clearly. The more recent history is complex as events like the Global War on Terror are still being analyzed and re-understood.

Evoking Barack Obama’s belief that America remains the “sum of its dreams,” Masur locates the origin of those dreams of freedom, equality, and opportunity and traces their progress chronologically, illuminating the nation’s struggle over time to articulate and fulfill their promise.

Masur lets the story of American tell itself. Inspired by James Baldwin’s observation that “American history is longer, larger, more beautiful and more terrible than anything anyone has ever said about it,” he expands our notion of that history while identifying its threads.

I recommend this book as well as any of Professor Masur’s lectures at One Day University.

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Long Island

Read: May 2024

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Long Island – Eilis Lacey Series

by Colm Tóibín

Today, I embarked on a literary journey into the distinct world of Long Island, a novel by the acclaimed author Colm Toibin. This captivating narrative continues the life of Eilis Lacey, a beloved character from Toibin’s celebrated work Brooklyn, but two decades have passed. Eilis, now in her forties, is married to Tony Fiorello, an Italian-American plumber, and they are raising two teenagers.

The novel offers a fresh perspective on Eilis’s life, struggles, and journey of self-discovery. She lives with Tony’s large and loving extended family on a cul-de-sac in Lindenhurst, Long Island, which plays a significant role in the story. Though Eilis feels connected to her Irish roots, she has yet to return to Ireland in many years.

One fateful day, a visitor arrives unannounced at Eilis’s doorstep, bringing with him a life-altering revelation. He reveals that his wife is carrying Tony’s child and plans to leave the baby with Eilis once it’s born. This unexpected twist throws Eilis into a maelstrom of emotions and a labyrinthine decision-making process. As the emotional core of Toibin’s narrative, this journey of self-discovery and emotional upheaval is sure to hold readers spellbound.

Long Island‘ is a poignant exploration of unfulfilled desires and the enigmatic secrets that shape our lives. Eilis’s reticence speaks volumes, and Toibin masterfully gives voice to her concealed yearnings and profound connections. For instance, Eilis often finds herself lost in memories of her life in Ireland, particularly her relationship with her mother. Though unspoken, these recollections lay bare her profound yearning for her homeland and family. This evocative tale of love, longing, and the quest for self-discovery is bound to enthrall readers.

NPR’s Mary Louise Kelly speaks with author Colm Toibin about his new novel Long Island.



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Something About Living

Read: November 2024

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Something About Living

by Lena Khalaf Tuffaha

I recently read “Something About Living” by Lena Khalaf Tuffaha, a poet and essayist whose work resonates deeply. The book of poems won the 2024 National Book Award for Poetry and delved into Palestinian life through the lens of the American language, revealing a legacy of obfuscation and erasure. It questions what happens when language packages ongoing disasters for consumption and disposal.

As a Jew supporting a two-state solution, I initially hesitated to read this collection of poems. However, I was pleasantly surprised by the lyrical beauty of the verses, which explore love not just as an emotion but as a transformative force and “a radical act.” Every poem that genuinely resonated with me. “Something About Living” is a book I highly recommend for its depth and insight!

Ms. Khalaf Tuffaha has an incredible literary repertoire; her previous work, “Water & Salt,” earned the esteemed 2018 Washington State Book Award, while “Kaan & Her Sisters” was a finalist for the Firecracker Award. In addition, “Something About Living” also received the 2022 Akron Prize for Poetry. I’m excited to explore her profound insights and lyrical mastery!

Adrian Matejka, the author of “Somebody Else Sold the World,” has written about “Something About Living,”

“It’s nearly impossible to write poetry that simultaneously holds the human desire for joy and the insistent agitations of protest, but Lena Khalaf Tuffaha‘s gorgeous and wide-ranging new collection Something About Living does just that. Her poems interweave Palestine’s historic suffering, the challenges of living in this world full of violence and ill will, and the gentle delights we embrace to survive that violence. Khalaf Tuffaha’s elegant poems sing the fractured songs of Diaspora while remaining clear-eyed to the cause of the fracturing: the multinational hubris of colonialism and greed. This collection is her witness to our collective unraveling, vowel by vowel, syllable by syllable. “Let the plural be a return of us,” the speaker of “On the Thirtieth Friday We Consider Plurals” says and this plurality is our tenuous humanity and the deep need to hang on to kindness in our communities. In these poems Khalaf Tuffaha reminds us that love isn’t an idea; it is a radical act. Especially for those who, like this poet, travel through the world vigilantly, but steadfastly remain heart first.



When you purchase a book through one of my links, I earn a small commission that helps support my passion for reading. This contribution allows me to buy even more books to share with you, creating an incredible cycle of discovering great reads together! Your support truly makes a difference!


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Tilt: A Novel

Read: March 2025

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Tilt: A Novel by Emma Pattee

by Emma Pattee

Today, I began reading “Tilt: A Novel” by Emma Pattee. Set over a single day, this electrifying debut novel features a potent new literary voice, according to Vogue. It follows one woman’s journey through a transformed city as she grapples with the weight of her past and holds fervent hope for the future. Tilt is a gripping narrative about our disappointments and desires, exploring the lengths we will go to for the people we love.

You and I were safe last night. Your father and I fought in the kitchen, but it felt like another universe.

Annie is nine months pregnant and shopping for a crib at IKEA when a massive earthquake strikes Portland, Oregon. She finds herself navigating a chaotic city without a way to reach her husband, a phone, or money.

As she goes through Portland’s wreckage, Annie encounters human desperation and kindness: strangers offering help, a riot at a grocery store, and an unexpected friendship with a young mother. Throughout her journey, Annie reflects on her struggling marriage, unsatisfying career, and anxiety about becoming a mother. Determined to change her life, she needs to make it home.


Emma Pattee is a climate journalist and fiction writer. Her work has been published in The Atlantic, The New York Times, The Washington Post, The Guardian, and elsewhere. She lives in Oregon.



When you purchase a book through one of my links, I earn a small commission that helps support my passion for reading. This contribution allows me to buy even more books to share with you, creating an incredible cycle of discovering great reads together! Your support truly makes a difference!


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