Don't push the river

Don’t Push the River!

Estimated reading time: 0 minutes, 41 seconds

In the early stages of my grief, I wanted to push the river away from me. The water was rising, and I was afraid I might drown. One day at a time, I found meaning in myself and restored my linkage to Jan’s soul. My journal has grown into long-form writings that keep  Jan’s memory alive.

As the Exies sang,

I need a meaning
I need a soul
This circle is vicious but precious like gold
Don’t push the river
Don’t stop the flow
Dead in the water caught in the undertow

Love never dies.

Celebrate Jan

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How Did I Grieve?

If grief has made me a better person, it's because God gave me the ability to listen, embrace, and move forward into the future. Although I miss Jan dearly, I am committed to living with courage, honoring her memory, and being my best father, grandfather, friend, and neighbor.

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Don't push the river
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Enter Ghost

Read: May 2023

Enter Ghost: A Novel

by Isabella Hammad

Isabella Hammad‘s highly anticipated novel, Enter Ghost, takes readers on a unique journey through modern-day Palestine, exploring themes of displacement, diaspora, and the unbreakable bonds of family and shared resistance. Hammad’s passionate and thoughtful writing brings to life a timely and unforgettable story, shedding light on the struggles of artistry under occupation.

The novel follows Sonia Nasir, an actress who returns to Haifa after years away from her family’s homeland to visit her sister, Haneen. However, this is no ordinary trip for Sonia, as it marks her first visit since the second intifada and the deaths of her grandparents. Still recovering from a disastrous love affair and a dissolute marriage, Sonia finds her relationship with Palestine to be fragile, both bone-deep and new.

As opening night approaches, a troupe of Palestinian actors faces numerous violent obstacles. Sonia meets Mariam, a local director who ropes her into a production of Hamlet on the West Bank. She rehearses Gertrude’s lines in classical Arabic and spends more time in Ramallah than in Haifa, working alongside a group of dedicated men from all over historic Palestine. Despite their competing egos and priorities, each group member is united in their desire to bring Shakespeare to that side of the wall. Amidst it all, Sonia has the daunting yet exhilarating possibility of finding a new self in her ancestral home.


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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How Democracies Die

Read: January 2021

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How Democracies Die: What History Reveals About Our Future

by Steven Levitsky and Daniel Ziblatt

How Democracies Die: What History Reveals About Our Future by Steven Levitsky and Daniel Ziblatt was on my reading list for almost a year. In late December of last year, I started reading it and was in the final chapter on January 6, 2021. Like many of us, I never in my life expected to see a day like that in our country.

This type of event is one the authors talk about in their book.

According to the overview in GoodReads,

Donald Trump’s presidency has raised a question that many of us never thought we’d be asking: Is our democracy in danger? Harvard professors Steven Levitsky and Daniel Ziblatt have spent more than twenty years studying the breakdown of democracies in Europe and Latin America, and they believe the answer is yes. Democracy no longer ends with a bang–in a revolution or military coup–but with a whimper: the slow, steady weakening of critical institutions, such as the judiciary and the press, and the gradual erosion of long-standing political norms. The good news is that there are several exit ramps on the road to authoritarianism. The bad news is that, by electing Trump, we have already passed the first one.

Drawing on decades of research and a wide range of historical and global examples, from 1930s Europe to contemporary Hungary, Turkey, and Venezuela, to the American South during Jim Crow, Levitsky and Ziblatt show how democracies die–and how ours can be saved.

Our democracy is too valuable for us to have it die. We all need to work to preserve and strengthen it. How Democracies Die is a book that everyone needs to read!

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Sun City

Read: February 2025

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Sun City by Tove Jansson

by Tove Jansson

Today, I began reading “Sun City” by Tove Jansson, translated by Thomas Teal. I found this book mentioned in Maya Chung‘s review in The Atlantic’s Book Briefings, and as an older man, it seemed like the perfect choice for me. In “The Summer Book” and “The True Deceiver,” as well as in her many short stories, Tove Jansson consistently explores the everyday lives of older adults.

She portrays them not as a separate group but as fully fleshed individuals who experience the same jealousies, desires, and joys as any other demographic. It’s no wonder that in her travels through America in the 1970s, she became fascinated with what was then a particularly American institution, the retirement home, where older people lived in their tightly knit worlds.

In Sun City, Jansson depicts these worlds in a group portrait of residents and employees at the Berkeley Arms in St. Petersburg, Florida. As the narrative moves from character to character, the characters move through an America riven by cultural divides, facing the death of its dream. The Berkeley Arms’s newest resident finds a place among the rocking chairs and endless chatter on the veranda while other residents long for past glories, mourning their losses and killing time. Meanwhile, one of their attendants, Bounty Joe, is eagerly awaiting a letter, or even just a postcard, alerting him to the imminent return of Jesus Christ. Nobody’s normal anymore,” the bartender says, “not the old geezers and not the newborn kids.”



When you purchase a book through one of my links, I earn a small commission that helps support my passion for reading. This contribution allows me to buy even more books to share with you, creating an incredible cycle of discovering great reads together! Your support truly makes a difference!


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The Colony

Read: March 2025

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The Colony: A Novel

by Annika Norlin

Today, I explored “The Colony,” Annika Norlin‘s debut novel, which Alice E. Olsson has skillfully translated. This sensational bestseller from Sweden has captured the imagination of readers around the globe, with its rights sold in over a dozen countries and an exciting TV adaptation in the works. “The Colony,” has quickly become one of the most talked-about literary sensations since Fredrik Backman’s ‘A Man Called Ove.’

Winner of the Vi Literature Award and Swedish Radio’s Novel Prize, two of Sweden’s most prestigious literary awards, “The Colony” is a compelling portrayal of contemporary society and its alternatives.

Burned out from a demanding job and the hectic pace of city life, Emelie decides to spend a few days in the countryside. There, amidst the peaceful, green hills by the river, she encounters a mysterious group of seven people, each with personal stories marked by pain, alienation, and a longing to live differently. They are misfits in their ways, all led by the enigmatic and charismatic Sara.

How did they end up in this place? Are they content with the rigid roles assigned to them? And what happens when an outsider arrives, initially drawn to their alternative lifestyle, but inevitably disrupts their way of life?

A masterful blend of humor, emotion, unforgettable characters, and sharp social commentary, “The Colony” is a magnetic and deeply touching story about love, community, and our profound influence over one another.


Annika Norlin is a Swedish author, songwriter, and artist. She releases music under her name and through her projects, Säkert! and Hello Saferide. Her collection of short stories, “I See Everything You Do,” has been nominated for several awards. “The Colony” is her debut novel.

Alice E. Olsson is a literary translator, writer, and editor. She has served as the Cultural Affairs Adviser at the Embassy of Sweden in London and has received a fellowship and multiple grants from the Swedish Arts Council. Olsson was a nominee for the 2020 Peirene Stevns Translation Prize and the 2023 Bernard Shaw Prize.



When you purchase a book through one of my links, I earn a small commission that helps support my passion for reading. This contribution allows me to buy even more books to share with you, creating an incredible cycle of discovering great reads together! Your support truly makes a difference!


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Welcome Home, Stranger: A Novel

Read: January 2024

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Welcome Home, Stranger: A Novel

by Kate Christensen

Today, I began reading “Welcome Home, Stranger: A Novel” by Kate Christensen. The book tells the story of a woman in her fifties who returns home to Maine after her mother’s passing. The novel explores themes of grief, love, growing older, and family complexities. It raises the question: Can you ever honestly go back home?

Rachel is an environmental journalist living in Washington, DC. She has been estranged from her working-class family in New England for many years. Having gone through a divorce and being childless in her middle age, Rachel is a truly independent spirit who has experienced a lot of pain. She feels like her life is falling apart and is struggling to cope with big and small challenges. However, her life takes a different turn when she gets a call to return home for her mother’s funeral.

Then, everything falls apart.

Rachel is surrounded by a cast of characters who are sometimes comical, sometimes heartbreakingly earnest. Her sister is an arriviste, her brother-in-law is an alcoholic, and the love of her life has recently married her sister’s best friend. Rachel must face her past and come to terms with the sorrow she has long buried. She must also confront the ghost of her mother, who, for better or worse, made her the woman she is today.

Lively, witty, and painfully familiar, this sophisticated and emotionally resonant novel from the author of The Great Man holds a mirror up to modern life as it considers the way some of us must carry on now.


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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I receive a commission when you buy a book or product using a link on this page. Thank you for supporting Sharing Jan’s Love blog.



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Lila: A Novel

Read: April 2022

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Lila: A Novel

by Marilynne Robinson

Lila: A Novel by Marilynne Robinson is an unusual but believable love story. Although different than how I met Jan, this novel is about love and romance that, on the surface, should never have happened. Lila, homeless and alone after years of roaming the countryside, steps inside a small-town Iowa church – the only available shelter from the rain- ignites a romance and a debate that will reshape her life. She becomes the wife of a minister, John Ames, and begins a new existence while trying to make sense of the life that preceded her newfound security.

Lila is the third novel in the Gilead series. Previously I read Home, the second in the series, and Jack, the fourth. I highly recommend all three books.

Hopefully, one day I will read the Gilead and complete the series.

The Goodreads summary of the book provides an excellent overview.

Neglected as a toddler, Lila was rescued by Doll, a canny young drifter, and brought up by her in a hardscrabble childhood. Together they crafted a life on the run, living hand to mouth with nothing but their sisterly bond and a ragged blade to protect them. Despite bouts of petty violence and moments of desperation, their shared life was laced with moments of joy and love. When Lila arrives in Gilead, she struggles to reconcile the life of her makeshift family and their days of hardship with the gentle Christian worldview of her husband which paradoxically judges those she loves.

Revisiting the beloved characters and setting of Robinson’s Pulitzer Prize-winning Gilead and Home, a National Book Award finalist, Lila is a moving expression of the mysteries of existence that is destined to become an American classic.

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