Jan, Jon and Richard

Family of Three

Estimated reading time: 0 minutes, 44 seconds

Celebrate JanToday is the anniversary of Jan and I becoming parents. It is a moment of happiness that positively changed our lives.

I had always wanted to be a father. Before Jon was born, when Jan and I spoke about having children, she would answer “someday.”

It seemed as if someday would never arrive. In early 1980, we talked about it again. Jan surprised me and said we should have a child.

When she gave birth to Jon, it was one of her happiest days.

My love for Jan increased when I handed our son to her. Love Never Dies!

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Jan, Jon and Richard

We Are Having a Baby!

Estimated reading time: 0 minutes, 44 seconds

April 1, 1980, the NYC Transit strike commenced. During the work stoppage, I had to travel to DC.

I rode my bike to Brooklyn Heights and left it at a friend’s apartment. I then walked over the Brooklyn Bridge and uptown to take the Path train to Penn Station. Fortunately, when I returned, the subway was running again.

When I arrived at our home on Sterling Steet in Prospect Lefferts Gardens, Jan greeted me with a hug and a kiss. “I was waiting for you to take the test.”

The two of us had big smiles after the test and, in unison, said, “We are having a baby!”

Jan, Jon and Richard

Waiting on The Times

Estimated reading time: 0 minutes, 44 seconds

I had not gone out Saturday night to pick up the Sunday Times as we knew Jan was close to giving birth.

On the way to the hospital at 4 am, I stopped the car in Grand Army Plaza to pick up the newspaper. I felt an urgency to get to the hospital, so I grabbed the first paper on the stack and returned to the car.

Jan asked if I had made sure all sections were there. I had not, I responded. She checked the paper while the car idled.

Jan was in labor for almost 12 hours. She never looked at The Times.

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Jan, Jon and Richard
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Jan, Jon and Richard
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Mercury: A Novel

Read: January 2024

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Mercury: A Novel

by Amy Jo Burns

Today, I started reading Mercury: A Novel about a roofing family. The family’s bond of loyalty is tested when they uncover a long-hidden secret at the heart of their blue-collar town. The book is written by Amy Jo Burns, the author of the critically acclaimed novel Shiner, which I read and enjoyed in 2022. I highly recommend it.

The story is set in 1990, and it follows the journey of a seventeen-year-old girl named Marley West, who arrives in the river valley town of Mercury, Pennsylvania. She is a loner who is looking for a place to belong. The first thing she sees when she gets to town is three men standing on a rooftop, and they soon become her whole world.

Marley becomes a young wife to one of the Joseph brothers, The One Who Got Away to another, and an adopted mother to all of them. Marley guides these unruly men as their mother fades away and their roofing business crumbles under the weight of their unwieldy father’s inflated ego. Years later, an eerie discovery in the church attic causes old wounds to resurface, and suddenly, the family’s survival hangs in the balance.

With Marley as their guide, the Joseph brothers must decide whether they can save the family they’ve always known or build something more substantial in its place.


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Regarding gifts made this month, I will match dollar for dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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The Time Traveler's Wife

Read: May 2021

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The Time Traveler’s Wife

by Audrey Niffenegger

My wife had asked me to read – The Time Traveler’s Wife by Audrey Niffenegger – on several occasions. When we first met, we both liked to read fiction and non-fiction. As we aged, I focused almost exclusively on non-fiction, and she focused on fiction. Since her passing, I have started reading more of both genres. We could now have a book club!

Both Jan and I have always enjoyed books and movies about time travel. If I could travel back in time, there are tens of thousands of days I would love to spend with her again. But time travel is not possible. Or is it? Her spirit returns to me whenever I am paralyzed and encourages me to dust myself off and keep going. Maybe one day we will time travel together!

I enjoyed reading this book, even if it was difficult to keep track of the periods. It is very much the type of time-traveling book that both of us would have liked to read, and it has helped me to imagine a world in which Jan and I will meet again.

But what if it is not time travel as imagined by H. G. Wells. As the Hasidic story foretold, God split our souls at birth and placed one part of my soul in her body and placed the rest into my body. Very few people are lucky enough to find the person who has the other half of their soul, and Jan and I did.

When my life ends, what if God takes a portion of our two souls and places them into new bodies. Each of their souls would include a part of each of us. Those two new people would have to find each other in the future to connect as we did. They might not see each other and forever hunger for true love. Whatever happened, they would not know that they once were very much in love.

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Followers

Read: December 2021

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Followers

by Megan Angelo

Followers by Megan Angelo is one of NPR’s Books We Love from 2020. Goodreads describes this as an electrifying story of two ambitious friends, the dark choices they make, and the stunning moment that changes the world as we know it forever.

Followers is a novel, but it could easily be read as history with all that has occurred with technology and social media. With the increased discussion of the Metaverse, how close are we to a significant spill of personal information? With the focus on followers defining our culture, how close are we to being manipulated by social media?

As a wannabe blogger, I am impressed by a handful of likes on social media and two comments on my posts. Although I can understand the temptation of Orla and Floss to manipulate the system for their benefit, it is something I know I would not do even if I had the skills.

The spill of personal information is described in a very plausible way. It is not just credit card data but private conversations, photos, and secrets that are spilled and alter the world as we know it. Is this possible? Hopefully not, but without adequate privacy regulations, we may all wake up one day to know that our most private secrets become known by everyone.

Marlow, the daughter of two mothers, along with Orla, provides an option of how we might all leave with less reliance on blue screens. As a secessionist nation in NJ, Atlantis was an interesting alternate reality.

Goodreads provides this overview if you are not convinced to read this book.

Orla Cadden is a budding novelist stuck in a dead-end job, writing clickbait about movie-star hookups and influencer yoga moves. Then Orla meets Floss ― a striving wannabe A-lister ― who comes up with a plan for launching them both into the high-profile lives they dream about. So what if Orla and Floss’s methods are a little shady and sometimes people get hurt? Their legions of followers can’t be wrong.

Thirty-five years later, in a closed California village where government-appointed celebrities live every moment of the day on camera, a woman named Marlow discovers a shattering secret about her past. Despite her massive popularity ― twelve million loyal followers ― Marlow dreams of fleeing the corporate sponsors who would do anything to keep her on-screen. When she learns that her whole family history is based on a lie, Marlow finally summons the courage to run in search of the truth, no matter the risks.

Followers traces the paths of Orla, Floss and Marlow as they wind through time toward each other, and toward a cataclysmic event that sends America into lasting upheaval. At turns wry and tender, bleak and hopeful, this darkly funny story reminds us that even if we obsess over famous people we’ll never meet, what we crave is genuine human connection.

I recommend Followers as not only a good read but an allegory of our technology-dominated culture.

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My Brilliant Friend

Read: July 2024

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My Brilliant Friend

by Elena Ferrante

Today, I delved into Elena Ferrante‘s captivating novel My Brilliant Friend. This acclaimed book hailed as the #1 Book of the 21st Century by the New York Times, weaves a timeless tale of the enduring bond between two women from Naples. With its rich character development and evocative historical setting, it stands alongside other character-driven works of literary fiction.

Beginning in the 1950s in a poor but vibrant neighborhood on the outskirts of Naples, Elena Ferrante’s four-volume story spans almost sixty years. The main characters, the fiery and unforgettable Lila and the bookish narrator, Elena, are bound by an enduring friendship that withstands the test of time and life’s challenges. This first novel in the series follows Lila and Elena from their fateful meeting as ten-year-olds through their school years and adolescence, evoking a sense of enduring connection and emotional resonance.

Through the lives of these two women, Ferrante weaves a compelling narrative of a neighborhood, a city, and a country undergoing profound transformation. These societal changes, in turn, also reshape the relationship between the two women, adding a rich layer of historical and cultural context to the story. This context will enrich your reading experience and provide a deeper understanding of the characters and their journey.

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Celestial Navigation

Read: June 2021

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Celestial Navigation

by Anne Tyler

 

Celestial Navigation by Anne Tyler is a book I found on our bookshelf about a month after my wife passed away. The title and a mental note that my wife had recommended it made it an easy choice.

One of the main characters, thirty-eight-year-old Jeremy Pauling, had never left home. In the early stages of grief, I was nowhere near making a similar choice and remaining housebound. However, if I had been, this book would have caused me to reject that idea immediately.

After the death of his mother, he takes in Mary Tell and her daughter as boarders. The other boarders quickly realize that Jeremy is falling in love with Mary despite his fragility and inexperience with women.

To share more about the book would reveal details that might be spoilers.

For me, the book was a good read and one that reminded me that love is both beautiful and complicated. Although Jan and I shared passion was nothing like theirs, it was helpful to compare their love and ours when my loss seemed impossible.

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The Fire and the Ore

Read: September 2022

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The Fire and the Ore

by Olivia Hawker

The Fire and the Ore by Olivia Hawker is a novel set in 1856 when three women—once strangers—come together in unpredictable Utah Territory. Hopeful, desperate, and willful, they’ll allow nothing on earth or Heaven to stand in their way. I have always enjoyed the history of the movement of people across the plains. Tamar, Jane, and Tabitha, along with their shared husband, Thomas Ricks, were real people, and Olivia Hawker compellingly describes them as people living in difficult times.

Olivia Hawker is a descendant of Jane and a former Mormon. She writes eloquently about the unnecessary Utah War (AKA Buchanan’s Blunder) and how the sister-wives grow to love and support each other. Tamar’s sister Patience, although a minor character, wrote a memoir of the time that the author used as a resource.

Reading a compelling historical fiction novel about family, sisterhood, and survival about three women like Jan was an easy choice. It was a page-turner from the first page to the last.

The Washington Post bestselling author of One for the Blackbird, One for the Crow is a compelling novel of family, sisterhood, and survival.

The Goodreads summary provides a good overview,

Following the call of their newfound Mormon faith, Tamar Loader and her family weather a brutal pilgrimage from England to Utah, where Tamar is united with her destined husband, Thomas Ricks. Clinging to a promise for the future, she abides a surprise: Thomas is already wedded to one woman—Tabitha, a local healer—and betrothed to another.

Orphaned by tragedy and stranded in the Salt Lake Valley, Jane Shupe struggles to provide for herself and her younger sister. Out of necessity, with no love lost, she too must bear the trials of a sister-wife. She is no member of the Mormon migration, yet Jane agrees to marry Thomas.

But when the US Army’s invasion brings the rebellious Mormon community to heel, Tamar, Jane, and Tabitha are forced to retreat into the hostile desert wilderness with little in common but the same man—and the resolve to keep themselves and their children alive. What they discover, as one, is redemption, a new definition of family, and a bond stronger than matrimony that is tested like never before.


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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I receive a commission when you buy a book or product using a link on this page. Thank you for supporting Sharing Jan’s Love blog.

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