Oscar and Jan

Jan Loved Therapy Dogs

Estimated reading time: 1 minute, 3 seconds

Jan with a Therapy DogOften I would joke with Jan that if I died first, she would replace me with a dog.

We both loved Oscar until he became confused and thought the middle of the night was playtime.

During Chemotherapy, she looked forward to visits from the therapy dogs.

I never will know if Jan would have replaced me with a dog if I had died first.

I do know that I have not even the slightest interest in re-partnering.

Of course, I also know that you cannot rule out anything as the world changes faster than the glaciers melt.

Re-partnering is not of interest to me, not because I am not lonely or sad. I miss Jan, but she is still with me, and neither a therapy dog nor another life partner can replace her.

Jan’s love transformed me and will never die.


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

Subscribe

Contact Us

I receive a commission when you buy a book or product using a link on this page. Thank you for supporting Sharing Jan’s Love blog.

Am I Alone if Jan is Still With Me?

In the photograph from Celebrate Jan Day, it appears that I am sitting by myself.

As much as the camera only captures what it can see, that is a correct observation.

However, it does not capture the reality that Jan is still with me and always will be with me.

Show thread (1)

The Friend

Estimated reading time: 1 minute, 3 seconds
The Friend: A Novel

The Friend: A Novel

The Friend: A Novel by Sigrid Nunez is a moving story of love, friendship, grief, healing, and the magical bond between a woman and her dog. When a woman unexpectedly loses her lifelong best friend and mentor, she finds herself burdened with the unwanted dog he has left behind. I understand the positives and negatives of having a dog help with grief, but I cannot have one where I live.

Read book review Get this book All books

Share your thoughts and ideas

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

The Jan Lilien Education Fund!

Oscar and Jan
×
The Friend: A Novel

Read: September 2022

Get this book

The Friend: A Novel

by Sigrid Nunez

The Friend: A Novel by Sigrid Nunez is a moving story of love, friendship, grief, healing, and the magical bond between a woman and her dog. When a woman unexpectedly loses her lifelong best friend and mentor, she finds herself burdened with the unwanted dog he has left behind. I understand the positives and negatives of having a dog help with grief, but I cannot have one where I live.

One line that resonated with me was,

You can’t hurry, love, as the song goes. You can’t hurry, grief, either.

Far too often, widows are in a hurry, not unlike young lovers. We need to learn patience and remind ourselves that the more we love, the more we will grieve.

I often said that Jan would replace me with a dog if she survived me.

I recommend this book.

The Goodreads summary provides a concise overview,

The woman’s own battle against grief is intensified by the mute suffering of the dog, a huge Great Dane traumatized by the inexplicable disappearance of its master, and by the threat of eviction: dogs are prohibited in her apartment building.

While others worry that grief has made her a victim of magical thinking, the woman refuses to be separated from the dog except for brief periods of time. Isolated from the rest of the world, increasingly obsessed with the dog’s care, determined to read its mind and fathom its heart, she comes dangerously close to unraveling. But while troubles abound, rich and surprising rewards lie in store for both of them.

Elegiac and searching, The Friend is both a meditation on loss and a celebration of human-canine devotion.


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

Subscribe

Contact Us

I receive a commission when you buy a book or product using a link on this page. Thank you for supporting Sharing Jan’s Love blog.

×
Wild Dark Shore

Read: March 2025

Get this book

Wild Dark Shore

by Charlotte McConaghy

Today, I dove into “Wild Dark Shore” by Charlotte McConaghy, a captivating novel that The New York Times hailed as one of the must-reads for this spring. The story unfolds on a remote island, where a family’s tranquil life changes with the arrival of a mysterious woman who washes ashore just as a tempest brews on the horizon. With secrets and storms looming, I can already feel the tension building—this promises to be a thrilling read!

Dominic Salt and his three children are caretakers of Shearwater, a tiny island not far from Antarctica. Home to the world’s largest seed bank, Shearwater was once full of researchers, but with sea levels rising, the Salts are now its final inhabitants. Until, during the worst storm the island has ever seen, a woman mysteriously washes ashore.

Isolation has taken its toll on the Salts, but as they nurse the woman, Rowan, back to strength, it begins to feel like she might just be what they need. Long accustomed to protecting herself, Rowan starts imagining a future where she could belong to someone again.

But Rowan isn’t telling the truth about why she set out for Shearwater. And when she discovers sabotaged radios and a freshly dug grave, she realizes Dominic is keeping his secrets. As the storms on Shearwater gather force, they all must decide if they can trust each other enough to protect the precious seeds in their care before it’s too late—and if they can finally put the tragedies of the past behind them to create something new together.

Wild Dark Shore is a novel of breathtaking twists, dizzying beauty, and ferocious love about the impossible choices we make to protect the people we love, even as the world disappears.


Charlotte McConaghy is a New York Times bestselling author of the novels Wild Dark Shore, Once There Were Wolves, and Migrations, which have been translated into over twenty languages. She is currently based in Sydney, Australia.



When you purchase a book through one of my links, I earn a small commission that helps support my passion for reading. This contribution allows me to buy even more books to share with you, creating an incredible cycle of discovering great reads together! Your support truly makes a difference!


×
Evergreen

Read: October 2022

Get this book

Evergreen by Kirsten Robinson

by Kirsten Robinson

Evergreen by Kirsten Robinson is a tribute to the enduring resilience of human nature as we cycle through times of light and darkness, much like nature itself. In her debut book, Kirsten Robinson (@NakedWriting) lays her heart bare in a raw, relatable, and inspirational way to describe the journey of growth born out of finding beauty in breakage and love after loss.

Albeit a cliche, the book jumped off the shelf and into my hands when I saw it in Hickory & Hill General Store in Cranford.

This artfully honest collection embodies and expands upon the poetry and prose Robinson began writing under the famous social media pseudonym Naked Writing.

I highly recommend this book and intend to keep it at my bedside for a pick-me-up.

Although I have only started reading the poems, I want to share two that resonated with me.

The first one is on giving thanks.

Give thanks for all
that is good and beautiful;
the gifts you carry
people who lift you up
your big, big love
faith and trust that your life
is unfolding as it should

Give thanks for all
that has been difficult and hard;
trials tribulations tears
tests of self strength fears
all of the unknowns and days
that broke you

Without the darkness
you would not have
learned to appreciate the light

A second one on bravery.

Bravery
is not about standing tall
after you’ve climbed up
the top of a mountain

Bravery
is looking
fear
heartache
rejection
terror
loss
death
in the eye
and saying, “no,
not today”

Bravery
is standing back up
after you’ve been brought down
to your knees


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

Subscribe

Contact Us

I receive a commission when you buy a book or product using a link on this page. Thank you for supporting Sharing Jan’s Love.

×
The Unfolding

Read: October 2022

Get this book

The Unfolding: A Novel

by A.M. Homes

The Unfolding by A.M. Homes is a darkly comic political parable braided with a Bildungsroman that takes us inside the heart of a divided country. The Unfolding is an alternative history that is terrifyingly prescient, profoundly tender, and devastatingly funny. Will this novel help me to understand how we became a nation that no longer shares the same definitions of truth, freedom, and democracy, much less a shared vision of the future?

Although I understand more clearly the crisis facing the US, I highly recommend this novel.

Ms. Homes has written a must-read book that compliments the January 6th Committee report and should make us all more vigilant.

The characters are so well defined that at the end of the novel, I wanted to continue to read about them, especially Meghan.

The Goodreads summary provides an overview,

The Big Guy loves his family, money, and country. Undone by the 2008 presidential election results, he taps a group of like-minded men to reclaim their version of the American Dream. As they build a scheme to disturb and disrupt, the Big Guy also faces turbulence within his family. His wife, Charlotte, grieves a life not lived, while his 18-year-old daughter, Meghan, realizes that her favorite subject–history–is not exactly what her father taught her.

In a story that is as much about the dynamics within a family as it is about the desire for those in power to remain in force, Homes presciently unpacks a dangerous rift in American identity, prompting a reconsideration of the definition of truth, freedom, and democracy–and exploring the explosive consequences of what happens when the exact words mean such different things to people living together under one roof.

In her first novel since the Women’s Prize award-winning May We Be Forgiven, A.M. Homes delivers us back to ourselves in this stunning alternative history that is both terrifyingly prescient, deeply tender, and devastatingly funny.


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

Subscribe

Contact Us

I receive a commission when you buy a book or product using a link on this page. Thank you for supporting Sharing Jan’s Love.

×
Civil War by Other Means: America’s Long and Unfinished Fight for Democracy

Read: November 2022

Get this book

Civil War by Other Means

by Jeremi Suri

Civil War by Other Means: America’s Long and Unfinished Fight for Democracy by Jeremi Suri is the perfect book to help us understand our failures at creating a multi-racial democracy in the nineteenth century and how this has weakened and divided our nation. Jeremi Suri chronicles the events after the civil war, from Lincoln’s assassination to Garfield’s, and how they were a continuation of the war by other means.

I purchased a signed copy and watched a video presentation by Dr. Suri due to my membership at One Day University. Civil War by Other Means is a vivid and unsettling portrait of a country striving to rebuild itself but unable to compromise on or adhere to the most basic democratic tenets. 

I highly recommend Civil War by Other Means: America’s Long and Unfinished Fight for Democracy by Jeremi Suri.

In addition, the documentary, on Apple TV+, Lowndes County and the Road to Black Power is a companion piece that illustrates the continued failure to create a multi-racial democracy. Jeremi Suri makes a convincing case that the eternal struggle for democracy continues in our time.

The Goodreads summary provides an overview,

In 1865, the Confederacy was comprehensively defeated, its economy shattered, its leaders in exile or in jail. Yet in the years that followed, Lincoln’s vision of a genuinely united country never took root. Apart from a few brief months, when the presence of the Union army in the South proved liberating for newly freed Black Americans, the military victory was squandered. Old white supremacist efforts returned, more ferocious than before.

In Civil War by Other Means, Jeremi Suri shows how resistance to a more equal Union began immediately. From the first postwar riots to the return of Confederate exiles, to the impeachment of Andrew Johnson, to the highly contested and consequential election of 1876, Suri explores the conflicts and questions Americans wrestled with as competing visions of democracy, race, and freedom came to a vicious breaking point.

What emerges is a vivid and, at times, unsettling portrait of a country striving to rebuild itself but unable to compromise on or adhere to the most basic democratic tenets. What should have been a moment of national renewal was ultimately wasted, with reverberations still felt today. The recent shocks to American democracy are rooted in this forgotten, urgent history.


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

Subscribe

Contact Us

I receive a commission when you buy a book or product using a link on this page. Thank you for supporting Sharing Jan’s Love blog.



×
The Way of Integrity

Read: February 2025

Get this book

The Way of Integrity

by Martha Beck

Today, I started reading Martha Beck‘s “The Way of Integrity: Finding the Path to Your True Self,” a book recommended by my friend Mark. I always appreciate receiving book recommendations from friends and readers of my blog. In her self-help book, Ms. Beck asserts, “Integrity is the cure for psychological suffering. Period.” This book will be invaluable during my early period of grief. I purchased the eBook from Bookshop and plan to do so.

Bestselling author, life coach, and sociologist Martha Beck explains why “integrity”—needed now more than ever in these tumultuous times—is the key to a meaningful and joyful life. As she writes,

This book, as you may have gleaned from the title, is all about integrity. But I don’t mean this in a moralizing sense. The word integrity has taken on a slightly prim, judgmental nuance in modern English, but the word comes from the Latin integer, meaning “intact.” To be in integrity is to be one thing, whole and undivided. When a plane is in integrity, all its millions of parts work together smoothly and cooperatively. If it loses integrity, it may stall, falter, or crash. There’s no judgment here. Just physics.

In The Way of Integrity, Beck presents a four-stage process that anyone can use to find integrity, a sense of purpose, emotional healing, and a life free of mental suffering. Many issues, such as people-pleasing, staying in stale relationships, and maintaining unhealthy habits, arise from a disconnection from what truly makes us feel complete.

Inspired by The Divine Comedy, Beck uses Dante’s classic hero’s journey as a framework to break down the process of attaining personal integrity into small, manageable steps. She shows how to read the internal signals that lead us toward our true path and recognize what we yearn for versus what our culture sells us.

With techniques tested on hundreds of her clients, Beck brings her expertise as a social scientist, life coach, and human being to help readers uncover what integrity looks like in their lives. She takes us on a spiritual adventure that will change the direction of our lives and bring us to a place of genuine happiness.

Other books I have read with a similar theme, which I also recommend, include Man’s Search for Meaning, Climbing the Second Mountain, and The Pursuit of Happiness.



When you purchase a book through one of my links, I earn a small commission that helps support my passion for reading. This contribution allows me to buy even more books to share with you, creating an incredible cycle of discovering great reads together! Your support truly makes a difference!


×
A Good Neighborhood

Read: September 2021

Get this book

A Good Neighborhood

by Therese Anne Fowler

A Good Neighborhood by Therese Anne Fowler is a book that was difficult to put down once I started it. A Good Neighborhood is a “gripping contemporary novel that examines the American dream through the lens of two families living side by side in an idyllic neighborhood, throughout one summer that changes their lives irrevocably.”

I selected the book as it focuses, among other issues, on gentrification and environmental degradation. But to say that is what it is about would be a disservice. It also includes a full range of the social issues of our time.

But with little in common except a property line, these two very different families quickly find themselves at odds: first, over an historic oak tree in Valerie’s yard, and soon after, the blossoming romance between their two teenagers. Told from multiple points of view, A Good Neighborhood asks big questions about life in America today ― what does it mean to be a good neighbor? How do we live alongside each other when we don’t see eye to eye? ― as it explores the effects of class, race, and heartrending star-crossed love in a story that’s as provocative as it is powerful.

Ms. Fowler narrates the book. Greek Chorus. By doing this, she ensures that we are part of the story as much as readers.

We need to find answers to the big questions if we are to be good neighbors.

  • What does it mean to be a good neighbor?
  • How do we live alongside each other when we don’t see eye to eye?

The effects of class, race, and heartrending star-crossed love make this a must-read book.

I recommend the book to all readers.

Subscribe

Contact Us

×