Remembering Jan at Camp Widow!

Jan Was a Messenger from the Most High

Life is a Scrambled Jigsaw Puzzle, But the Journey is Rewarding

Estimated reading time: 2 minutes, 37 seconds
Remembering Jan at Camp Widow!

Remembering Jan at Camp Widow!

Have you ever experienced the sensation of being lost in life, as if you were trying to solve an intricate puzzle without any clear direction? This is precisely how I felt. It seemed as though I was given a jigsaw puzzle at birth but without a picture to guide me. Some pieces fit together easily, while others appeared misplaced, leaving me feeling disoriented. As I grew older, some parts of the puzzle seemed to change, no longer fit where they were once placed. My life was messy before I met Jan, and I struggled to make things work. While reminiscing about this period in my life, I was reminded of Lawrence Kushner’s touching poem “Jigsaw,” which provided insight into the meaning of life.

But know this. No one has within themselves
All the pieces to their puzzle.
Everyone carries with them at least one and probably
many pieces to someone else’s puzzle.
Sometimes they know it.
Sometimes they don’t.

Meeting Jan, I pondered whether our unfinished puzzles would ever be completed. However, after spending an immense amount of time together, spanned countless hours, days, and weeks, I realized we both shared a common challenge. The pieces missing from my puzzle were the exact ones she possessed, and vice versa. It was only after discovering this crucial detail that everything started to fall into place. Our love felt predestined from the moment we shared our first kiss, and we were confident that we shared one heart and one soul.

As Kushner wrote,

And when you present your piece
to another, whether you know it or not,
whether they know it or not,
you are a messenger from the Most High

As time went by, our workspaces gradually became intertwined. However, we adapted by creating distinct spaces for our children and grandchildren. Unfortunately, when Jan received her lymphoma diagnosis, it fell on me to take care of her and finish the remaining tasks of our shared life’s work.

The day after Jan’s funeral, I woke up to find the jigsaw puzzle shattered into countless fragments, as if a tornado had wreaked havoc on my life. It felt impossible to reassemble the broken pieces. However, with the assistance of my loved ones, friends, and fellow widows, I gradually began to reconstruct my life’s puzzle. It took more than two years to repair the damage and incorporate new pieces as I learned to navigate life without Jan. Her words continue to echo in my mind, reminding me of my strength and ability. Whenever I hear her voice, the most challenging pieces of my life’s puzzle fall into place.


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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When Richard Met Jan!

We embraced each other tightly, and our lips met in a deep and passionate kiss. It was even more intense than the sweet and lovely kisses we had already shared. I felt like I was flying, and if I hadn't worn my boots, I was sure this kiss would have knocked my socks off. This was the moment that sealed our love forever. I had always dreamed of finding true love, and now I had finally found it. Love is a beautiful thing that lasts forever and never dies.

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Remembering Jan at Camp Widow!

Poem: "Jigsaw" by Lawrence Kushner

Life is a Scrambled Jigsaw Puzzle, But the Journey is Rewarding

Estimated reading time: 2 minutes, 37 seconds

I have included the poem “Jigsaw,” by Lawrence Kushner, referenced in the post.

Each lifetime is the pieces of a jigsaw puzzle.
For some there are more pieces.
For others the puzzle is more difficult to assemble.

Some seem to be born with a nearly completed puzzle.
And so it goes.
Souls go this way and that.
Trying to assemble the myriad parts.

But know this. No one has within themselves
All the pieces to their puzzle.
Everyone carries with them at least one and probably
many pieces to someone else’s puzzle.
Sometimes they know it.
Sometimes they don’t.

And when you present your piece
to another, whether you know it or not,
whether they know it or not,
you are a messenger from the Most High

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Remembering Jan at Camp Widow!
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Remembering Jan at Camp Widow!
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Wild Houses: A Novel

Read: April 2024

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Wild Houses: A Novel

by Colin Barrett

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Read: October 2024

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The Vegetarian: A Novel

by Han Kang

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Read: March 2023

Lone Women: A Novel

by Victor LaValle

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Lone Women is the twenty-fifth book I have read in 2023. Although I have surpassed my reading goal, I will continue to read.

The Goodreads summary provides an overview,

Adelaide Henry carries an enormous steamer trunk with her wherever she goes. It’s locked at all times. Because when the trunk is opened, people around her start to disappear…

The year is 1914, and Adelaide is in trouble. Her secret sin killed her parents and forced her to flee her hometown of Redondo, California, in a hellfire rush, ready to make her way to Montana as a homesteader. Dragging the trunk with her at every stop, she will be one of the “lone women” taking advantage of the government’s offer of free land for those who can cultivate it—except Adelaide isn’t alone. And the secret she’s tried so desperately to lock away might be the only thing keeping her alive.

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The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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I receive a commission when you buy a book or product using a link on this page. Thank you for supporting Sharing Jan’s Love blog.



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Read: August 2023

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Study for Obedience

by Sarah Bernstein

Today I began reading “Study for Obedience” by Sarah Bernstein. With a robust and lyrical voice, Bernstein thoughtfully examines themes of complicity, power, displacement, and inheritance. “Study for Obedience” is a finely-tuned and unsettling novel that establishes Bernstein as one of the most exciting voices of her generation.

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The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

Subscribe

Contact Us

I receive a commission when you buy a book or product using a link on this page. Thank you for supporting Sharing Jan’s Love blog.



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Read: September 2024

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Hurricane Season

by Fernanda Melchor

Hurricane Season‘ by Fernanda Melchor, translated by Sophie Hughes, is a literary gem acknowledged by the New York Times as one of the 100 Best Books of the 21st Century. The story opens with the discovery of a dead witch in a village, leading to an investigation into her murder. As the novel unfolds, it offers a unique perspective on the lives of the villagers, each narrating the story from their point of view.

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Hurricane Season” draws significant literary inspiration from Roberto Bolaño‘s “2666” and Faulkner‘s novels. Like these works, it is set in a world filled with mythology and actual violence that seeps into the surroundings, creating a connection that makes it more terrifying the deeper you explore it.

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Martyr! A Novel

Read: October 2024

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Martyr! A Novel

by Kaveh Akbar

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Martyr!” is a novel that’s not just electrifying and funny but also wholly original. It’s a testament to Kaveh Akbar‘s unique storytelling and heralds the arrival of an essential new voice in contemporary fiction. Get ready to be captivated by his narrative prowess.

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