Jan Was a Messenger from the Most High
Life is a Scrambled Jigsaw Puzzle, But the Journey is Rewarding
Estimated reading time: 2 minutes, 37 seconds
Have you ever experienced the sensation of being lost in life, as if you were trying to solve an intricate puzzle without any clear direction? This is precisely how I felt. It seemed as though I was given a jigsaw puzzle at birth but without a picture to guide me. Some pieces fit together easily, while others appeared misplaced, leaving me feeling disoriented. As I grew older, some parts of the puzzle seemed to change, no longer fit where they were once placed. My life was messy before I met Jan, and I struggled to make things work. While reminiscing about this period in my life, I was reminded of Lawrence Kushner’s touching poem “Jigsaw,” which provided insight into the meaning of life.
But know this. No one has within themselves
All the pieces to their puzzle.
Everyone carries with them at least one and probably
many pieces to someone else’s puzzle.
Sometimes they know it.
Sometimes they don’t.
Meeting Jan, I pondered whether our unfinished puzzles would ever be completed. However, after spending an immense amount of time together, spanned countless hours, days, and weeks, I realized we both shared a common challenge. The pieces missing from my puzzle were the exact ones she possessed, and vice versa. It was only after discovering this crucial detail that everything started to fall into place. Our love felt predestined from the moment we shared our first kiss, and we were confident that we shared one heart and one soul.
As Kushner wrote,
And when you present your piece
to another, whether you know it or not,
whether they know it or not,
you are a messenger from the Most High
As time went by, our workspaces gradually became intertwined. However, we adapted by creating distinct spaces for our children and grandchildren. Unfortunately, when Jan received her lymphoma diagnosis, it fell on me to take care of her and finish the remaining tasks of our shared life’s work.
The day after Jan’s funeral, I woke up to find the jigsaw puzzle shattered into countless fragments, as if a tornado had wreaked havoc on my life. It felt impossible to reassemble the broken pieces. However, with the assistance of my loved ones, friends, and fellow widows, I gradually began to reconstruct my life’s puzzle. It took more than two years to repair the damage and incorporate new pieces as I learned to navigate life without Jan. Her words continue to echo in my mind, reminding me of my strength and ability. Whenever I hear her voice, the most challenging pieces of my life’s puzzle fall into place.
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Poem: "Jigsaw" by Lawrence Kushner
Life is a Scrambled Jigsaw Puzzle, But the Journey is Rewarding
Estimated reading time: 2 minutes, 37 secondsI have included the poem “Jigsaw,” by Lawrence Kushner, referenced in the post.
Each lifetime is the pieces of a jigsaw puzzle.
For some there are more pieces.
For others the puzzle is more difficult to assemble.
Some seem to be born with a nearly completed puzzle.
And so it goes.
Souls go this way and that.
Trying to assemble the myriad parts.
But know this. No one has within themselves
All the pieces to their puzzle.
Everyone carries with them at least one and probably
many pieces to someone else’s puzzle.
Sometimes they know it.
Sometimes they don’t.
And when you present your piece
to another, whether you know it or not,
whether they know it or not,
you are a messenger from the Most High
The book Never Forget Our People Were Always Free is told through parables. It features intimate glimpses of political and 
