Kindness Can Repair the World

Kindness Repairs the World

Estimated reading time: 0 minutes, 54 seconds
April Showers Set the Stage for Jan's Birthday

Artwork graciously provided by Emi Sato.

I have become a kinder, friendlier person.

Most of the change in my personability results from Jan’s love.

I believe I had a similar impact on Jan.

The death of my parents also helped me grow and change into a better father and husband.

Now I am on a journey without Jan physically with me. However, the portion of her soul I have always had is still with me.

I do what I can to help others in my grief groups, community, and day-to-day life.

Each act of kindness repairs the world and gives my life meaning and purpose.


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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Man's Search for Meaning

Man's Search for Meaning

I remember reading portions of Man's Search for Meaning by Viktor E. Frankl at different times, but I never finished the book. However, recently, eight and a half months after the passing of Jan, the book came up for discussion in one of my groups. Frankl's theory of logotherapy, which derives from the Greek word for "meaning," centers around the idea that the primary human drive is not pleasure, as Freud believed, but rather the search for what gives life meaning. I now have a framework for my life without Jan.

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Man's Search for Meaning

Read: January 2022

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Man’s Search for Meaning

by Viktor E. Frankl

I remember reading portions of Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor E. Frankl at different times, but I never finished the book. However, recently, eight and a half months after the passing of Jan, the book came up for discussion in one of my groups. Frankl’s theory of logotherapy, which derives from the Greek word for “meaning,” centers around the idea that the primary human drive is not pleasure, as Freud believed, but rather the search for what gives life meaning. I now have a framework for my life without Jan.

For those like me who are widows, Frankl understands suffering,

In some ways, suffering ceases to be suffering at the moment it finds a meaning, such as the meaning of a sacrifice.

Jan and I lived meaningful lives. My challenge now is to continue to find meaning in my life without Jan.

As Frankl writes,

Those who have a ‘why’ to live, can bear with almost any ‘how’.

The love Jan and I shared was one of my primary sources of meaning. In addition, I stopped working full-time at the end of 2018 and struggled to replace the purpose I had gained from repairing the world. After Jan died, I suffered the “provisional existence of an unknown limit.” Frankl experienced that when he was in the concentration camps.

I have replaced the loss of meaning and purpose with a series of activities:

  1. Planning to Celebrate Jan Day on her birthday this year;
  2. Writing my random thoughts on Jan, love, grief, life, and all things considered;
  3. Reading more than ever, including my Goodreads 2022 Reading Challange; and
  4. Walking more than I probably should.

I am also beginning to serve on the board of a few non-profits. It is time to transition from hands-on work to providing leadership differently.

Will this be enough to give my life meaning?

Ultimately, man should not ask what the meaning of his life is, but rather must recognize that it is he who is asked. In a word, each man is questioned by life; and he can only answer to life by answering for his own life; to life he can only respond by being responsible.

I must continue focusing on my search for meaning, as life will change over time.

My grief journey has taught me that love never dies,

For the first time in my life, I saw the truth as it is set into song by so many poets, proclaimed as the final wisdom by so many thinkers. The truth – that Love is the ultimate and highest goal to which man can aspire. Then I grasped the meaning of the greatest secret that human poetry and human thought and belief have to impart: The salvation of man is through love and in love.

My path forward is to keep Jan’s love alive and continue to share it with others.

I recommend this book without reservation.


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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I receive a commission when you buy a book or product using a link on this page. Thank you for supporting Sharing Jan’s Love.

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Kindness Can Repair the World
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A Good Neighborhood

Read: September 2021

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A Good Neighborhood

by Therese Anne Fowler

A Good Neighborhood by Therese Anne Fowler is a book that was difficult to put down once I started it. A Good Neighborhood is a “gripping contemporary novel that examines the American dream through the lens of two families living side by side in an idyllic neighborhood, throughout one summer that changes their lives irrevocably.”

I selected the book as it focuses, among other issues, on gentrification and environmental degradation. But to say that is what it is about would be a disservice. It also includes a full range of the social issues of our time.

But with little in common except a property line, these two very different families quickly find themselves at odds: first, over an historic oak tree in Valerie’s yard, and soon after, the blossoming romance between their two teenagers. Told from multiple points of view, A Good Neighborhood asks big questions about life in America today ― what does it mean to be a good neighbor? How do we live alongside each other when we don’t see eye to eye? ― as it explores the effects of class, race, and heartrending star-crossed love in a story that’s as provocative as it is powerful.

Ms. Fowler narrates the book. Greek Chorus. By doing this, she ensures that we are part of the story as much as readers.

We need to find answers to the big questions if we are to be good neighbors.

  • What does it mean to be a good neighbor?
  • How do we live alongside each other when we don’t see eye to eye?

The effects of class, race, and heartrending star-crossed love make this a must-read book.

I recommend the book to all readers.

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Thrust: A Novel

Read: August 2022

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Thrust: A Novel

by Lidia Yuknavitch

Thrust: A Novel by Lidia Yuknavitch is a book I recommend without reservations. The protagonist of Thrust is Laisve, a motherless girl from the late 21st century who is learning her power as a carrier, a person who can harness the power of meaningful objects to carry her through time. The book begins with the construction of the Statue of Liberty, and Laisve, with the gifts of a carrier, travels through water and time to rescue vulnerable figures from the margins of history.

The novel also focuses on rising waters and an encroaching police state endangering Laisve’s life and family. As a reader who likes historical fiction and time travel, Thrust: A Novel by Lidia Yuknavitch proved to be a page-turner.

The full GoodReads summary provides an overview of this book published on June 28, 2022,

Lidia Yuknavitch has an unmatched gift for capturing stories of people on the margins–vulnerable humans leading lives of challenge and transcendence. Now, Yuknavitch offers an imaginative masterpiece: the story of Laisve, a motherless girl from the late 21st century who is learning her power as a carrier, a person who can harness the power of meaningful objects to carry her through time.

Sifting through the detritus of a fallen city known as the Brook, she discovers a talisman that will mysteriously connect her with a series of characters from the past two centuries: a French sculptor, a woman of the American underworld, a dictator’s daughter, an accused murderer; and a squad of laborers at work on a national monument. Through intricately braided storylines, Laisve must dodge enforcement raids, find her way to the present day, and finally, to the early days of her poor country, to forge a connection that might save their lives–and their shared dream of freedom.

Thrust will leave no reader unchanged, a dazzling novel of body, spirit, and survival.


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month are matched dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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Beautyland: A Novel

Read: June 2024

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Beautyland: A Novel

by Marie-Helene Bertino

I started reading “Beautyland: A Novel” by Marie-Helene Bertino today. The novel is about the fragility and resilience of life on Earth and in our universe. It tells the story of a baby born with extraordinary perception to a single mother in Philadelphia when Voyager 1 embarks on its interstellar journey. As we follow Adina Giorno’s growth, we witness her awakening to her exceptional nature—a profound understanding of a distant planet.

With the introduction of a fax machine, she established a unique form of communication with her extraterrestrial kin, who dispatched her to observe and document the peculiarities of Earthlings. As Adina navigates the complexities of the human world, she not only shares her observations on the joys and terrors of existence but also grapples with her identity and the connections she forms. At a pivotal moment, a trusted friend encourages her to share her transmissions with the world, leading her to question if she is alone in her experiences.

Beautyland‘ is a wise, tender novel about a woman who doesn’t feel at home on Earth, penned by the highly acclaimed Marie-Helene Bertino, the author of ‘Parakeet.’ With her proven ability to craft compelling narratives, Bertino’s ‘Beautyland’ is a surefire way to captivate readers interested in contemporary fiction, themes of identity, and human connection.

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North Woods: A Novel

Read: December 2023

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North Woods: A Novel

by Daniel Mason

I recommend reading “North Woods: A Novel” by Daniel Mason today. It is the story of two young lovers who leave a Puritan colony and find shelter in a humble cabin in the woods. They are unaware this cabin will become home to a succession of extraordinary human and nonhuman characters. “North Woods” has been named one of the ten best books of 2023 by both the New York Times Book Review and the Washington Post.

An English soldier who was destined for glory decides to abandon the battlefields of the New World to dedicate himself to growing apples. Meanwhile, a pair of spinster twins navigate war and famine, dealing with envy and desire. A crime reporter discovers an ancient mass grave but soon realizes the earth refuses to give up its secrets. In the same town, a lovelorn painter, a sinister con man, a stalking panther, and a lusty beetle are all present. As the inhabitants confront the wonder and mystery around them, they realize that the dark, raucous, and beautiful past is still alive.

This remarkable and highly imaginative novel by Pulitzer Prize finalist Daniel Mason is full of love, insanity, humor, and optimism. North Woods follows the cycles of history, nature, and language to reveal the numerous, enchanting ways we are connected to our surroundings, history, and each other. It is not just a memorable story about secrets and fates but a perspective on the world that poses the timeless question: How can we continue living even after we are gone?


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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I receive a commission when you buy a book or product using a link on this page. Thank you for supporting Sharing Jan’s Love blog.



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Something About Living

Read: November 2024

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Something About Living

by Lena Khalaf Tuffaha

I recently read “Something About Living” by Lena Khalaf Tuffaha, a poet and essayist whose work resonates deeply. The book of poems won the 2024 National Book Award for Poetry and delved into Palestinian life through the lens of the American language, revealing a legacy of obfuscation and erasure. It questions what happens when language packages ongoing disasters for consumption and disposal.

As a Jew supporting a two-state solution, I initially hesitated to read this collection of poems. However, I was pleasantly surprised by the lyrical beauty of the verses, which explore love not just as an emotion but as a transformative force and “a radical act.” Every poem that genuinely resonated with me. “Something About Living” is a book I highly recommend for its depth and insight!

Ms. Khalaf Tuffaha has an incredible literary repertoire; her previous work, “Water & Salt,” earned the esteemed 2018 Washington State Book Award, while “Kaan & Her Sisters” was a finalist for the Firecracker Award. In addition, “Something About Living” also received the 2022 Akron Prize for Poetry. I’m excited to explore her profound insights and lyrical mastery!

Adrian Matejka, the author of “Somebody Else Sold the World,” has written about “Something About Living,”

“It’s nearly impossible to write poetry that holds the human desire for joy and the insistent agitations of protest at the same time, but Lena Khalaf Tuffaha‘s gorgeous and wide-ranging new collection Something About Living does just that. Her poems interweave Palestine’s historic suffering, the challenges of living in this world full of violence and ill will, and the gentle delights we embrace to survive that violence. Khalaf Tuffaha’s elegant poems sing the fractured songs of Diaspora while remaining clear-eyed to the cause of the fracturing: the multinational hubris of colonialism and greed. This collection is her witness to our collective unraveling, vowel by vowel, syllable by syllable. “Let the plural be a return of us,” the speaker of “On the Thirtieth Friday We Consider Plurals” says and this plurality is our tenuous humanity and the deep need to hang on to kindness in our communities. In these poems Khalaf Tuffaha reminds us that love isn’t an idea; it is a radical act. Especially for those who, like this poet, travel through the world vigilantly, but steadfastly remain heart first.

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Camp Zero

Read: April 2023

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Camp Zero: A Novel

by Michelle Min Sterling

I recently read an incredible novel called Camp Zero by Michelle Min Sterling. The book tells the story of several climate change survivors in a near-future northern settlement and explores the intersection of gender, class, and migration. The novel is a page-turner and a masterful exploration of who and what will survive in a warming world.

The story follows Rose, a young woman who agrees to spy on the architect of an American building project in exchange for housing. She arrives at the same time as Grant, a college professor who is trying to escape his wealthy family’s dark legacy. As they begin to investigate the mysterious architect, they uncover a disturbing mystery lurking beneath the surface of the camp.

One of the most fascinating aspects of the novel is the inclusion of an elite group of women soldiers living and working at a nearby Cold War-era climate research station. The rumors surrounding their presence add more intrigue to an already compelling story.

If you’re looking for a captivating novel that will keep you on the edge of your seat, I highly recommend Camp Zero. The book is a mesmerizing and transportive read, perfect for fans of Station Eleven and The Power.


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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I receive a commission when you buy a book or product using a link on this page. Thank you for supporting Sharing Jan’s Love blog.



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