Richard W. shared a stream on October 12, 2022

Living Life Without Jan!

Estimated reading time: 1 minute, 8 seconds

Life has been difficult at times but never as rough as it has been since Jan died.

After more than a year, despite improvements, the heartache remains ever-present.

I have learned the activities of daily living alone.

I help others, actively participate in two support groups, read, write, walk, and work to ensure that Jan’s love will never die.

I need to embrace Charlie Brown’s advice,

Life isn’t meant to be easy; it’s meant to be Lived. Sometimes happy other times rough. But with every up and down, you learn lessons that make you strong.

I have focused on Dr. Lois Tonkin‘s research that documents that our only option is to grow around grief, so our grief is a smaller portion of us.

One day at a time, I am learning to live without Jan physically being with me. She will always be in my heart, and our love will never die.

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Can I Be the One Grow From My Grief?

Will I Be the One to Grow From My Grief?

In the earliest days, I was unable to do anything but weep.

Those days are rarer but still occur. Sixteen months and counting, and despite improvements, the heartache remains ever-present.

I have focused on Dr. Lois Tonkin's research that documents that our only option is to grow around grief, so our grief is a smaller portion of us.

Richard W. Brown September 15, 2022

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Richard W. Brown

Dancing Alone But With Jan in My Heart!

Estimated reading time: 1 minute, 8 seconds

Last night I attended the Second Street Youth Center‘s event honoring my friends Reverand Ron and Deborah Thomas.

They had a 360-degree photo option.

I decided it was time to try to live alone.

Of course, it would have been easier and more enjoyable to dance with Jan.

Richard W. Brown

Growing Around Grief

Estimated reading time: 1 minute, 8 seconds

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My random thoughts on love, grief, life and all things considered.

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Memorial Days: A Memoi

Read: March 2025

Memorial Days: A Memoir

by Geraldine Brooks

Today, I started reading “Memorial Days: A Memoir” by Geraldine Brooks, the bestselling Pulitzer Prize-winning author of “Horse”. In this poignant and beautifully written memoir, she explores sudden loss and the journey toward healing. Why do I choose to read novels and memoirs about loss and grief? Perhaps it’s because, as Martín Prechtel wrote in his book “The Smell of Rain on Dust”, “Grief is praise because it is the natural way love honors what it misses.”

Many cultural and religious traditions expect grieving people to withdraw from the world. In modern life, we frequently encounter bureaucratic obstacles and lengthy to-do lists. This is precisely what happened to Geraldine Brooks when her partner of more than thirty years, Tony Horwitz—just sixty years old and, to her knowledge, vigorous and healthy—collapsed and died on a sidewalk in Washington, D.C.

After spending their early years together in conflict zones as foreign correspondents, Geraldine and Tony settled down to raise two sons on Martha’s Vineyard. They lived a fulfilling life filled with meaningful work, good humor, and tenderness. Geraldine and Tony spent their days writing and evenings cooking family dinners or enjoying sunsets with friends at the beach. Their peaceful existence abruptly ended on Memorial Day 2019 when Geraldine received the dreaded phone call we all fear. The demands of life became immediate and overwhelming, leaving little room for grief. The sudden loss created a profound void in their lives.

Three years later, she booked a flight to a remote island off the coast of Australia to give herself the time to mourn finally. She often spent days alone in a shack on the pristine, rugged coast without seeing another person. It was a space for her to reflect on the various ways cultures grieve and consider which rituals might help her rebuild her life in the wake of Tony’s death.

“Memorial Days,” a spare and profoundly moving memoir, portrays a larger-than-life man and the timeless love between two souls. It exquisitely captures the joy, agony, and mystery of life.

Geraldine Brooks is the author of six novels, including “Horse,” “People of the Book,” “Year of Wonders,” and the Pulitzer Prize-winning “March.” She has also written acclaimed nonfiction works, including “Nine Parts of Desire” and “Foreign Correspondence.” Her books have been translated into more than thirty languages and have sold millions of copies worldwide. Born and raised in Australia, Brooks now divides her time between Sydney and Martha’s Vineyard.

My journey through grief has significantly helped me grow as a person by focusing on conscientious resilience. I make it a point to read and walk daily, engage in worship, and actively participate as a volunteer and a good neighbor in my community. Fourteen hundred days ago, I wasn’t sure if I could continue living or how to move forward. However, by concentrating on strengthening my resilience, I now lead a life filled with meaning and purpose. I choose to look back not on what I lost but on what I have gained.

As my friend Danny said nearly a year ago, “You are an incredible person! You are a new person! A better person! Although Jan is not here physically, she has done so much for you!

My Rabbi, Rav Uri, echoed similar sentiments during his remarks when I received the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Distinguished Service Award. If their beliefs are true, much of my progress directly results from my conscientious resilience!

When you purchase a book through one of my links, I earn a small commission that helps support my passion for reading. This contribution allows me to buy even more books to share with you, creating an incredible cycle of discovering great reads together! Your support truly makes a difference!