Meliorism Changes the World With Small Step

Meliorism: Small Steps Change the World!

improving the World With Acts of Love, Creativity, Compassion, and Kindness

Estimated reading time: 2 minutes, 14 seconds

“Ever since we met, you have been an incredible person. The love you shared with Jan is evident in your dedication to the many acts you have completed in her honor, and it has fueled you to live each day with purpose. You have kept her memory alive and well!” wrote a friend of mine in response to my expressing gratitude for what he had helped me to accomplish since Jan died. As much as I was pleased by his comments, they raised an issue that continues to define me and what I have done. Are we independent actors, or do we work in collaboration? Or are we meliorists who contribute to positive change and improve the world through acts of love, creativity, compassion, and kindness?

Wind SculptureIn my apartment, I relax and care for myself. But my life extends beyond these walls, and I am part of a diverse and vibrant community. When I talk about my community, I’m not just talking about one group but a complex network of interconnected and overlapping groups. This includes my involvement in the faith community at Temple Sha’arey Shalom, my contributions to the Hanson Park Conservancy and Bridges Board, and my interactions with their staff. I consider companions, local store owners, neighbors, friends, and family important to my extended community.

The idea to plant a tree in Jan’s Memorial Garden was mine, but the garden’s completion was a testament to the power of collective effort. The invaluable inspiration and suggestions from conservancy members, Jan’s family, and friends transformed the garden into what it is today.

  • We were fortunate to receive donations from 173 friends, which allowed us to purchase two beautiful memorial benches.
  • With the support of the Hanson Park Conservancy, the triangular garden was reimagined by adding flower beds and a wind sculpture, creating a space for meditation, contemplation, and reflection.
  • Thanks to the generosity of our donors, we not only raised more funds than needed for the benches but created a lasting legacy. The surplus money was channeled into the Jan Lilien Education Fund, a beacon of support for sustainability and environmental awareness programs.

As a meliorist, I believe in our ability to contribute to positive change and improve the world through love, creativity, compassion, and kindness. We thrive and achieve more when we unite to support one another. Jan’s Memorial Garden has brought immense value to the Cranford community, inspiring the Hanson Park Conservancy and the Jan Lilien Education Fund to engage more individuals in the park, leaving a lasting impression. It’s a testament to the power of small steps and collaborative efforts, showing that working together can build something extraordinary and enchanting for present and future generations.

Jan’s Memorial Garden

Working with the Hanson Park Conservancy, we have taken significant steps in building Jan's Memorial Triangle Garden at Hanson Park including installing the Wind Sculpture.

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Health, Community, Novelty, Purpose

improving the World With Acts of Love, Creativity, Compassion, and Kindness

Estimated reading time: 2 minutes, 14 seconds

Health, Community, Novelty, Purpose

I am fully aware that, eventually, my body will falter. My legs will cease to bear me with ease, my eyes will lose their sharpness, and the words on the page will blur. However, until that moment arrives, I pledge not to age gracefully but with unyielding determination to make the most out of my life.

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Meliorism Changes the World With Small Step
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Dragony Rising: A Frank Nagler Novel

Read: September 2022

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Dragony Rising: A Frank Nagler Novel

Dragony Rising: A Frank Nagler Novel by Michael Stephen Daigle is the fifth and best Frank Nagler Novel.

Like many of us living in the Garden State, Detective Frank Nagler has seen his hometown of Ironton, NJ, undergo many changes over the past several years. Although I want to believe the level of scandal in Ironton is more fictional than typical. The author describes the scandals within the city’s government, the stench of its corruption embedded deep, rivaling the dank stagnant stench emanating from the old bog just outside town.

From the opening sentence, Dragony Rising was a page-turner. Every time I thought I could put the book down, it beckoned me to keep reading.

I highly recommend this book, especially if you like mysteries with a unique New Jersey focus. My only recommendation would be for the series to be named the Lauren Fox/Frank Nagler novels. Lauren is as much the brains of the operation as Frank.

I have read several Frank Nagler novels-A Game Called Dead, The Swamps of Jersey-and have been waiting for this one to be published.

The author’s summary provides a good overview.

Detective Frank Nagler is recalled from medical leave to lead an investigation into the bombing.

He finds a shadowy organization called The Dragony, whose roots go back to the early days of Ironton’s manufacturing and mining history, a history involving Nagler’s family in strange ways.

He also finds a decades-old conspiracy designed not just to enrich the Dragony leaders but to threaten the existence of Ironton itself.


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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What's Mine and Yours

Read: February 2022

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What’s Mine and Yours

by Naima Coster

What’s Mine and Yours by Naima Coster is one of the best books I have read in the last few years. At this moment in my life, family means more than ever. This book explores how families can collapse and find ways to reunite. Although my life circumstances are the polar opposite of the protagonists, the book’s central themes resonated with me.

The focus on integration in this Millenium is a subject that needs to be discussed openly and honestly. The racist response of some of the parents is told in a way that clarifies the pain that that can cause.

Even the parents who favor integration have their flaws, which are passed on to their children.

The children, especially Noelle and Gee, oppose their parent’s actions. The sins of their parents are sowed upon them as well.

I have placed this book on my list of novels for reading later this year or n 2023. Its themes are so strong that a second reading is required to engage with its multiple levels fully.

This is a Goodreads summary.

A community in the Piedmont of North Carolina rises in outrage as a county initiative draws students from the primarily Black east side of town into predominantly white high schools on the west. For two students, Gee and Noelle, the integration sets off a chain of events that will tie their two families together in unexpected ways over the next twenty years.

The debate is Jade, Gee’s steely, ambitious mother, on one side of the integration. In the aftermath of a severe loss, she is determined to give her son the tools he’ll need to survive in America as a sensitive, anxious, young Black man. On the other side is Noelle’s headstrong mother, Lacey May, a white woman who refuses to see her half-Latina daughters as anything but white. She strives to protect them as she couldn’t protect herself from the influence of their charming but unreliable father, Robbie.

When Gee and Noelle join the school play meant to bridge the divide between new and old students, their paths collide, and their two seemingly disconnected families begin to form deeply knotted, messy ties that will shape the trajectory of their adult lives. And their mothers-each determined to see her child inherit a better life-will make choices that will haunt them for decades to come.

As love is built and lost, and the past never too far behind, What’s Mine and Yours is an expansive, vibrant tapestry that moves between the years, from the foothills of North Carolina to Atlanta, Los Angeles, and Paris. It explores every family’s unique organism: what breaks them apart and how they come back together.

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The Days of Abandonment

Read: July 2024

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The Days of Abandonment

by Elena Ferrante

I’ve just started reading The Days of Abandonment by Elena Ferrante after finishing My Brilliant Friend. This book is among the New York Times’s 100 Best Books of the 21st Century. I chose to read it after watching An Undoing, a documentary about healing from an abusive 20-year marriage using unstitching wedding garments, one stitch at a time.

The film was part of the first night of the International Women’s Film Festival in Cranford. Although, except for one brief moment, I have never been in the same situation as the woman in the short video or Olga, the protagonist in the novel, I choose this as my next book to read. Of course, Ferrante’s writing is known for rich character development and powerful prose.

The Days of Abandonment follows the gripping story of an Italian woman named Olga, whose husband suddenly leaves after fifteen years of marriage. With two young children to care for, Olga finds it increasingly difficult to maintain her previous lifestyle of keeping a spotless house, cooking creative meals, and controlling her temper. After encountering her husband with his much younger lover in public, she even resorts to physically assaulting him.

In a “raging, torrential voice,” according to The New York Times, Olga describes her journey from denial to devastating emptiness. Trapped within the four walls of their high-rise apartment, she confronts her ghosts, the potential loss of her identity, and the possibility that life may never return to normal.

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1944: FDR and the Year That Changed History

Read: October 2019

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1944: FDR and the Year That Changed History

by Jay Winik

1944: FDR and the Year That Changed History by Jay Winik is a book that I had put off reading several times. When I finally did read it, I could not remember why I had not read it sooner. Had I gone to graduate school and become a professor, it might have been the type of book I might write, and I certainly would have had on my list of books for my classes. 

As The NY Times wrote, “Jay Winik brings to life in gripping detail the year 1944, which determined the outcome of World War II and put more pressure than any other on an ailing yet determined President Roosevelt.” Reading a book about events five years before my birth that transformed the world I live in becomes an easy page-turner.

It was not inevitable that World War II would end as it did or that it would even end well. Nineteen forty-four was a year that could have stymied the Allies and cemented Hitler’s waning power. Instead it saved those democracies – but with a fateful cost. Now, in a superbly told story, Jay Winik, the acclaimed author of April 1865 and The Great Upheaval, captures the epic images and extraordinary history as never before.

1944 witnessed a series of titanic events: FDR at the pinnacle of his wartime leadership as well as his reelection, the planning of Operation Overlord with Churchill and Stalin, the unprecedented D-Day invasion, the liberation of Paris, and the horrific Battle of the Bulge, and the tumultuous conferences that finally shaped the coming peace. But on the way, millions of more lives were still at stake as President Roosevelt was exposed to mounting evidence of the most grotesque crime in history, the Final Solution. Just as the Allies were landing in Normandy, the Nazis were accelerating the killing of millions of European Jews.

Winik shows how escalating pressures fell on an all but dying Roosevelt, whose rapidly deteriorating health was a closely guarded secret. Here then, as with D-Day, was a momentous decision for the president. Was winning the war the best way to rescue the Jews? Was a rescue even possible? Or would it get in the way of defeating Hitler? In a year when even the most audacious undertakings were within the world’s reach, including the liberation of Europe, one challenge – saving Europe’s Jews – seemed to remain beyond Roosevelt’s grasp.

I recommend this book.

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The Book of Goose

Read: October 2022

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The Book of Goose: A Novel

by Yiyun Li

The Book of Goose: A Novel by Yiyun Liis a gripping, heartbreaking new novel about female friendship, art, and memory by the award-winning author of Where Reasons End. The Book of Goose: A Novel is a story of disturbing intimacy, obsession, exploitation, and strength of will. I highly recommend this book as it was not only a page-turner but a novel that helped me on my grief journey

The novel focuses on many issues that interest me and intrigue me during my grief journey. Jan was anxious that she was not as successful in her work or personal life. I always reassured her not to be concerned. 

After Jan died, I had similar feelings. Over time, I have heard words of wisdom and regained my self-confidence.

The Goodreads summary provides an overview,

Fabienne is dead. Her childhood best friend, Agnès, receives the news in America, far from the French countryside where the two girls were raised–the place that Fabienne helped Agnès escape ten years ago. Now, Agnès is free to tell her story.

As children in a war-ravaged, backwater town, they’d built a private world, invisible to everyone but themselves–until Fabienne hatched the plan that would change everything, launching Agnès on an epic trajectory through fame, fortune, and terrible loss.

A magnificent, beguiling tale winding from the postwar rural provinces to Paris, from an English boarding school to the quiet Pennsylvania home where Agnès can live without her past, The Book of Goose is a haunting story of friendship, art, exploitation, and memory by the celebrated author Yiyun Li.


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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I receive a commission when you buy a book or product using a link on this page. Thank you for supporting Sharing Jan’s Love blog.

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Last House: A Novel

Read: May 2024

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Last House: A Novel

by Jessica Shattuck

I started reading “Last House: A Novel” by Jessica Shattuck today. She is an esteemed New York Times bestselling author known for her work “The Women in the Castle.” This sweeping narrative, perfect for “The Dutch House” and “Great Circle” fans, explores a nation’s rise to power and a family’s complex ties to the resources that shaped their wealth. It also delves into the events that led to their greatest tragedy, a secret that threatens to tear them apart.

In 1953, a World War II veteran turned company lawyer, Nick Taylor, saw oil as the key to the future. He commutes to the city for work and returns to the peaceful suburbs to be with his wife, Bet, a former codebreaker now a housewife, and their two children, Katherine and Harry. Nick, who comes from humble origins, can provide for his family, including their secluded country escape called Last House, thanks to his work for American Oil. Last House, deep in the Vermont mountains, offers the Taylors a retreat from the stresses of modern life. Bet no longer worries about the Russian H-bombs that haunt her dreams, and the children can roam freely in the woods. Last House is a place that seems capable of surviving the end of the world.

1968, a turning point in American history, where the nation teeters on the brink of transformation. The streets pulsate with protestors challenging everything from the Vietnam War to racism and even the country’s reliance on Big Oil. As Katherine enters adulthood, she finds herself caught in the era’s tide, struggling to reconcile her ideals with the privileged upbringing her parents, part of the Greatest Generation, toiled to provide. But when the Movement takes a secure, more radical turn, each member of the Taylor family must face the repercussions of their choices for the causes they believed in. This rich historical backdrop infuses the Taylor family’s narrative with depth and intrigue, leaving us hungry for more about this transformative era.

Last House” spans multiple generations and nearly eighty years, telling the story of one American family during a time of grand ideals and significant downfalls. It explores themes of family dynamics, the impact of wealth, and the societal changes that shaped America. Set against the backdrop of our nation’s history, this emotional tour de force delves deeply into questions of inheritance and what we owe each other. It captures the gravity of time, the double edge of progress, and the hubris of empire to stunning effect.

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