My Friends Validate My Progress
Jan Still Walks With Me in Hanson Park!
Estimated reading time: 2 minutes, 0 secondsRecently, I had two visitors from out of state who were friends in college with my late wife, Jan. I was excited to see them but also worried they might say something that would upset me about Jan. To avoid holiday parades; I took a longer route to pick them up from a friend’s house before arriving at Hanson Park.
As we approached Jan’s Garden and the Wind Sculpture, I was a tour guide and shared the park’s history with my guests. I explained why it was the perfect location for Jan’s living memorial. One of my guests remarked, “It’s much more impressive in person than in videos or pictures. Jan’s garden is so peaceful and beautiful!”
The sculpture’s arms were expanding and shrinking despite the slow wind. One of my guests observed that “It’s like an optical illusion. Our eyes are tricked into believing it’s getting smaller or larger, but it’s not.”
Sitting on the rocks in the amphitheater, my companions asked about my well-being and how I had been dealing with Jan’s passing two years ago. I shared with them how I’ve kept Jan’s memory alive and talked about the supportive communities I’ve found. I even mentioned how I felt Jan’s presence in her garden as if she was still with me and made a lighthearted joke about her watching us from behind a tree. My friends acknowledged my progress and reassured me that I was doing physically and mentally well. After not seeing them since the pandemic, receiving their kind words was comforting and unexpected.
Although I lost my beloved, I found a way to keep her memory alive. My guests complimented me on the beautiful living memorial I had created for Jan and told me I had inspired them. I felt flattered, but I knew my words were genuine and not self-interest-motivated.
The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.
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