One-Way Conversations With Jan

One-Way Conversations With Jan

Estimated reading time: 0 minutes, 50 seconds

Nova Scotia mid-life crisis car-X4If marriage is a life-long conversation, is grief a one-way conversation for eternity?

Jan and I started a conversation the moment we met. It continued until the last morning she was alive.

We still talk, but it is a conversation in my mind.

I share with Jan what I did daily, ask her opinion, and express my undying love.

As Marz has written, we now live in an ironic period of our lives.

The irony that the person you want to talk to about how you’re feeling, what you did that day, that piece of advice you might need.

Until heaven gets cell service, my one-way communication is the best I can do, even if it is paradoxical.

Love never dies!


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When Richard Met Jan!

We embraced each other tightly, and our lips met in a deep and passionate kiss. It was even more intense than the sweet and lovely kisses we had already shared. I felt like I was flying, and if I hadn't worn my boots, I was sure this kiss would have knocked my socks off. This was the moment that sealed our love forever. I had always dreamed of finding true love, and now I had finally found it. Love is a beautiful thing that lasts forever and never dies.

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One-Way Conversations With Jan
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Sea of Tranquility

Read: September 2022

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Sea of Tranquility

by Emily St. John Mandel

Sea of Tranquility by Emily St. John Mandel has been on my reading list for months. I recommend the book without reservations. Sea of Tranquility is a novel of art, time, love, and plague that takes the reader from Vancouver Island in 1912 to a dark colony on the moon three hundred years later, unfurling a story of humanity across centuries and space. It was a page-turner from page one.

With the delay of Artemis I, I have been thinking a lot about the Sea of Tranquility, the original lunar landing site. Sea of Tranquility reminded me of the days of my youth when we believed that NASA would colonize the moon as it is in the novel.

One of the passages that moved me was when Olive Llewellyn asked, “What if it always is the end of the world.” A second profound passage asks, “A life lived in a simulation is still a life.”

The Goodreads summary provides a good overview,

Edwin St. Andrew is eighteen years old when he crosses the Atlantic by steamship, exiled from polite society following an ill-conceived diatribe at a dinner party. He enters the forest, spellbound by the beauty of the Canadian wilderness, and suddenly hears the notes of a violin echoing in an airship terminal—an experience that shocks him to his core.

Two centuries later a famous writer named Olive Llewellyn is on a book tour. She’s traveling all over Earth, but her home is the second moon colony, a place of white stone, spired towers, and artificial beauty. Within the text of Olive’s bestselling pandemic novel lies a strange passage: a man plays his violin for change in the echoing corridor of an airship terminal as the trees of a forest rise around him.

When Gaspery-Jacques Roberts, a detective in the Night City, is hired to investigate an anomaly in the North American wilderness, he uncovers a series of lives upended: The exiled son of an earl driven to madness, a writer trapped far from home as a pandemic ravages Earth, and a childhood friend from the Night City who, like Gaspery himself, has glimpsed the chance to do something extraordinary that will disrupt the timeline of the universe.


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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Sarah's Key

Read: January 2022

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Sarah’s Key

by Tatiana de Rosnay

Sarah’s Key by Tatiana de Rosnay is the untold story of the roundup of the Jews in Paris in July 1942. The novel focuses on how the French were complicit in rounding up thousands of Jews in 1942. It is also a reminder that we can never allow another genocide. I finished this book the day before Holocaust Remembrance Day, January 27, the date on which the Auschwitz-Birkenau concentration and death camp complex was liberated in 1945.

Ten-year-old Sarah is brutally arrested with her family in the Vel’ d’Hiv’ roundup, the most notorious act of French collaboration with the Nazis. But before the police come to take them, Sarah locks her younger brother, Michel, in their favorite hiding place, a cupboard in the family’s apartment. She keeps the key, thinking she will be back within a few hours.

Paris, May 2002: On Vel’ d’Hiv’s sixtieth anniversary, Julia Jarmond, an American journalist, is asked by her Paris-based American magazine to write an article about this black day in France’s past. Julia has lived in Paris for nearly twenty-five years and married a Frenchman, and she is shocked both by her ignorance about the event and the silence that still surrounds it.

The twin narratives of Sarah and Julia hold the first two-thirds of the book together and make it a page-turner. Sarah’s memory reminds us during the final third of the book and ensures that the complete story of the Vel’ d’Hiv’ roundup and its lasting impact are told.

As Goodreads describes the novel,

In the course of her investigation, she stumbles onto a trail of long-hidden family secrets that connects her to Sarah. Julia finds herself compelled to retrace the girl’s ordeal, from the terrible days spent shut in at the Vel’ d’Hiv’ to the camps and beyond. As she probes into Sarah’s past, she begins to question her own place in France and to reevaluate her marriage and her life.

Writing about the fate of her country with a pitiless clarity, Tatiana de Rosnay offers us a brilliantly subtle, compelling portrait of France under occupation and reveals the taboos and denial surrounding this painful episode in French history.

I highly recommend the book.

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The Vaster Wilds: A Novel

Read: September 2023

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The Vaster Wilds: A Novel

by Lauren Grof

Today, I started reading The Vaster Wilds: A Novel by Lauren Groff, a three-time National Book Award finalist. It is a taut and electrifying novel about a servant girl who escapes from a colonial settlement in the wilderness. One spirited girl alone in nature, trying to survive.

She carries nothing with her but her wits, a few possessions, and the spark of god that burns hot within her. What she finds in this terra incognita is beyond the limits of her imagination and will bend her belief in everything that her civilization has taught her.

Lauren Groff’s new novel is a thrilling adventure story and a penetrating fable about trying to find a new way of living in a world succumbing to the churn of colonialism. The Vaster Wilds is a work of raw and prophetic power that tells the story of America in miniature, through one girl at a hinge point in history, to ask how—and if—we can adapt quickly enough to save ourselves.


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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I receive a commission when you buy a book or product using a link on this page. Thank you for supporting Sharing Jan’s Love blog.



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A Harvest of Secrets- A Novel

Read: August 2022

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A Harvest of Secrets: A Novel

by Roland Merullo

After reading Aftermirth, I wanted a book I could enjoy without raising questions I was not ready to answer. A Harvest of Secrets by Roland Merullo was set in Italy in 1943. The terror seeds planted by Hitler brought Allied forces to Italian soil. Young lovers separated by war—one near a Tuscan hill town, the other a soldier on the Sicilian front—will meet any challenge to reunite. Historical fiction is a genre I enjoy. Will this book fulfill my needs? The answer is yes.

The web of secrets that are harvested kept me on my toes. Usually, the surprises of a novel are ones that I know even before finishing the book. At least one of the secrets did surprise me.

I also found the background of the war and loyalty to Il Duce a reminder that blind loyalty to a leader can destroy a nation.

I recommend this book.

The Goodreads summary provides an overview.

Vittoria SanAntonio, the daughter of a prosperous vineyard owner, is caught in a web of family secrets. Defying her domineering father, she has fallen for humble vineyard keeper Carlo Conte. When Carlo is conscripted into Mussolini’s army, it sets a fire in Vittoria, and she joins the resistance. As the Nazi war machine encroaches, Vittoria is drawn into dangers as unknowable as those faced by the man she loves.

Badly wounded on the first day of the invasion, Carlo regains consciousness on a farm in Sicily. Nursed back to health by a kind family there, he embarks on an arduous journey north through his ravaged homeland. For Carlo and Vittoria, as wartime threats mount and their paths diverge, what lies ahead will test their courage as never before.


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. All donations are tax-deductible.

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I receive a commission when you buy a book or product using a link on this page. Thank you for supporting Sharing Jan’s Love blog.

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Neruda on the Park: A Novel

Read: May 2023

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Neruda on the Park: A Novel

by Cleyvis Natera

Neruda on the Park is a novel by Cleyvis Natera that beautifully depicts the complexities of family, friendship, and ambition. The story highlights the community’s efforts to protect their neighborhood amidst the gentrification and the tension between a mother and her daughter.

The Guerreros have lived in Nothar Park, a Dominican neighborhood in New York City, for twenty years. When a neighboring tenement faces demolition, Eusebia, an elder of the community, takes matters into her own hands and devises a series of increasingly dangerous schemes to halt the construction of luxury condos. Meanwhile, Eusebia’s daughter, Luz, a rising associate at a Manhattan law firm, becomes distracted by a passionate romance with the handsome white developer working on the project her mother opposes.

As Luz’s father, Vladimir, designs their retirement home in the Dominican Republic, mother and daughter clash, escalating tensions in Nothar Park and leading to a near-fatal climax. Overall, Neruda on the Park is a captivating story that weaves a rich, vivid tapestry of community and sacrifice to protect what matters most.


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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I receive a commission when you buy a book or product using a link on this page. Thank you for supporting Sharing Jan’s Love blog.



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Clear: A Novel

Read: April 2024

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Clear: A Novel

by Carys Davies

Today, I started reading “Clear: A Novel” by Carys Davies. It’s a stunning and exquisite novel written by an award-winning author. The story follows John, a Scottish minister who is sent to a remote island off the coast of Scotland to evict the last remaining inhabitant, Ivar. However, Ivar is unwilling to leave, and John’s wife, Mary, has severe misgivings about the task.

Shortly after arriving on the island, John falls off a cliff and is badly injured. Ivar finds him and takes him home, where he tends to his wounds. John and Ivar understand each other despite the language barrier and the fragile connection that forms.

The story takes place in the 1840s, during the Scottish Clearances, a period of forced evictions that saw many rural communities lose their homes. The novel explores the differences and connections between people, the impact of history on our beliefs, and the resilience of the human spirit.

“Clear” is a moving, unpredictable, sensitive, and spellbinding novel. It is a profound and pleasurable read that will stay with you long after you finish the last page.

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