Wolf Hall: A Novel by Hilary Mantel is the first book in a three-part series on Thomas Cromwell. I am an amateur historian, and one of the characters I have always wanted to know more about was Cromwell. Although I might have achieved that by reading actual history textbooks, this three-part series seemed like the perfect next book for me to read. With a vast array of characters overflowing with incidents, the novel re-creates an era when the personal and political were separated by a hairbreadth, where success brings unlimited power, but a single failure means death.
Stream of Consciousness!
My random thoughts on Jan, love, grief, life, and all things considered.
Polaroids Fade, Love Never Dies
Searching thru boxes of old photos, I came across a few Polaroids mixed in with the Kodachrome images.
One by one, I digitize them. Some have transferred perfectly, while a few have faded on the edges.
But the memories remind me of Jan’s transformative love for me, her sons, her grandson, and friends and co-workers.
A door opens to one memory, and a new remembrance bubbles to the surface as soon as the recollection of the first photograph fully reawakens me to Jan’s effervescent beauty.
I hold my breath. My feet dance. Our love will never die; it only grows stronger every day!
When you buy a book or product using a link on this page, I receive a commission. Thank you for supporting Sharing Jan’s Love blog.
What Can Grief Teach Me?
Mourning can destroy everything in its wake. Perhaps it is because our grief requires us to believe that everything is happening to us.
For example, when my sadness over losing Jan overwhelms me, my life is like a sled flying down the ski slope without controls.
Now that I have observed both the secular and Hebrew anniversaries, I realize one lesson I did not expect to learn over the last year.
When I stop letting the grief dominate my life and instead focus on what I can learn from my sadness, I can share Jan’s love and love more than ever.
When you buy a book or product using a link on this page, I receive a commission. Thank you for supporting Sharing Jan’s Love blog.
Jan’s Yahrtzeit Reminds Me Why Love Never Dies
Today is crucial as it marks Jan’s first Yahrzeit, which coincides with the Hebrew and secular calendars.
During my walk, I remembered a passage from Rachel Kodanaz‘s book “Living with Loss, One Day at a Time” on page 138. The passage poses a thought-provoking question about whether someone would rather have their years shortened or not have any at all.
Reflecting on this question, my answer remains unchanged. Although the thought of Jan’s life ending when we first met would have initially caused me great sadness, I would have eventually come to focus on the love we shared rather than the time we lost.
Jan’s love changed me, and its effects on my life are growing stronger daily, whether we had one year, ten years, or almost fifty together.
I receive a commission when you buy a book or product using a link on this page. Thank you for supporting Sharing Jan’s Love blog.
Living With Loss, One Day at a Time
Living With Loss, One Day at a Time by Rachel Blythe Kodanaz is the book I would recommend for anyone beginning or in the early stages of grief. The memories you created and your love will live forever. Embrace the love and cherish the memories, as they will always be a part of you remain in your heart.
Silence of the Spring Plants
When I share that I walk daily, I am asked what music I listen to while walking.
My answer is I do not listen to music or anything except nature itself.
I am reminded of the lovely silence of growing things this time of year.
Sometimes it is the flowers in Hanson Park or the deepening green of a stand of trees.
They all remind me that life has cycles, and May is the season of rebirth.
Although Jan cannot see the new birth in the gardens, she is always with me and will guide me throughout my life.
When you buy a book or product using a link on this page, I receive a commission. Thank you for supporting Sharing Jan’s Love blog.
Am I Only a Widow?
Since Jan died a year ago, I still identify as married and not a widow.
Many of my fellow widows identify as members of a widow tribe.
Has my life been so drained by Jan’s death that I am now only a checkbox on a form?
No, I am and always will be more than only a widow.
I am a husband, father, grandfather, advocate, good neighbor, friend, and Jew, among many attributes that define me.
If I belong to a tribe, the human race is the only tribe I am a member of in good standing.
The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.
I receive a commission when you buy a book or product using a link on this page. Thank you for supporting Sharing Jan’s Love blog.
Who Am I Today?
In our lifetime, we are many people because life is not static. We are dynamic, like Ida’s rain-flooded Rahway River in Cranford.
We are often asked to remember the most important person in our lives.
Jan has been and always will be my answer. Her love transformed my life. If we had not met and fallen in love, I would not be who I am today.
A year into grief, the forces of life continue to transform me. Whoever I become will be because of Jan’s love; she will always be with me.
I receive a commission when you buy a book or product using a link on this page. Thank you for supporting Sharing Jan’s Love blog.