Richard W. Brown

Stream of Consciousness!

My random thoughts on Jan, love, grief, life, and all things considered.

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Shovels

New Page: Celebrate Jan Day Photos

April Showers Set the Stage for Jan's Birthday

Artwork graciously provided by Emi Sato.

Celebrate Jan Day on April 24, 2022, was a success. One hundred friends joined our family and volunteers from the Hanson Park Conservancy to celebrate her life. We dedicated and broke ground on a living memorial for her in the park.

Thanks to Neeru and Asish Patel, longtime friends, we have ninety-six photos of Celebrate Jan Day. If you use them, please credit them as the photographers. Click here to view video clips from Celebrate Jan Day.

If you share on social media with the links on this page, please use these hashtags.

  • #sharingjanslove
  • #janlilien
  • #loverneverdies

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When you buy a book or product using a link on this page, I receive a commission. Thank you for supporting Sharing Jan’s Love blog.

Celebrate Jan Day Photos

Over One Hundred Celebrate Jan’s Life We are working with Hanson Park and Carolle Huber Landscape Architecture to develop a creative reimagination of the Hanson Park Triangle. Click here for a PDF of the design. These ninety-six photos are courtesy of Neeru and Asish Patel. If you use them, please credit them as photographers. Click here […]
Jan and Richard Lovers Forever

Jan’s Birthday Playlist is Joyful

April Showers Set the Stage for Jan's Birthday

Artwork graciously provided by Emi Sato.

Jan’s Birthday Playlist was one she curated for her sixtieth birthday. The music was perfect for that birthday and every day. We played this music in Hanson Park on Celebrate Jan Day, and I share it with anyone who loves Jan and music. Jan listened to each song twice before selecting it for this playlist. She did not include many because they needed to meet her criteria.

Jan wanted the music to reflect her passion for life and her love for her family.

 

Enjoy and share Jan’s love.

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I receive a commission when you buy a book or product using a link on this page. Thank you for supporting Sharing Jan’s Love blog.

Celebrate Jan Day

On Sunday, April 24, 2022, in Hanson Park in Cranford, NJ, one hundred friends joined our family and volunteers from the Hanson Park Conservancy to Celebrate Jan's life as we dedicated and broke ground on a living memorial for her in the park.
Soaring Spirits at Celebrate Jan Day

Jan and the Righteous Thirty-Six

Jan Lilien

Artwork graciously provided by Emi Sato.

At Celebrate Jan Day, Rabbi Dr. Renee Edelman spoke about the thirty-six righteous people. Jan, according to the Rabbi, was one of the thirty-six.

“Jan was one of those who did the most to help other people,” said Rabbi Renee. She highlighted Jan’s spark and smiles that invited people to join in conversations.

“Her soul will always be with those who knew her and were loved by Jan,” said Rabbi Renee.

I will forever be grateful to Rabbi Renee for her love, friendship, and spiritual guidance.

The Rabbi’s video is one of twelve video clips from Celebrate Jan Day.

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When you buy a book or product using a link on this page, I receive a commission. Thank you for supporting Sharing Jan’s Love blog.

New Page: Videos from Celebrate Jan Day!

Thanks to Cranford’s TV35, a local access television channel, the event was live-streamed and can now be viewed on YouTube. We now have videos of the individual presentations. Enjoy, and please share!

This video is Cynthia Manno singing “Wind Beneath my Wings” by Bette Midler at Celebrate Jan Day.

Celebrate Jan Day on April 24, 2022, was a success. One hundred friends joined our family and volunteers from the Hanson Park Conservancy to celebrate her life as we dedicated and broke ground on a living memorial for her in the park.

If you share on social media with the links on this page, please use these hashtags.

  • #sharingjanslove
  • #janlilien
  • #loverneverdies

Subscribe

Contact Us

When you buy a book or product using a link on this page, I receive a commission. Thank you for supporting Sharing Jan’s Love blog.

Celebrate Jan Day Videos

Over One Hundred Celebrate Jan’s Life We are working with Hanson Park and Carolle Huber Landscape Architecture to develop a creative reimagination of the Hanson Park Triangle. Click here for a PDF of the design. Thanks to Cranford’s TV35, a local access television channel, the event was live-streamed and can now be viewed on YouTube. […]
Hanson Park Display Carolle Huber

Breaking Ground for Jan’s Memorial Garden

April Showers Set the Stage for Jan's Birthday

Artwork graciously provided by Emi Sato.

It has been only three days since we broke ground on the Jan Lilien Memorial Triangle Garden at Hanson Park. The many friends who joined us for the day helped us with love and support.

Over the next few months, we will provide updates on the progress of the work on the garden.

Hanson Park Conservancy‘s Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors events and programs on sustainability and environmental awareness.

On Thursday, May 12, 2022 – at 7 pm at the Community Center, speaker Virginia Lamb will discuss soil health and composting as a tool for climate mitigation.


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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I receive a commission when you buy a book or product using a link on this page. Thank you for supporting Sharing Jan’s Love blog.

St. John the Evangelist Lutheran Church

Fr. John Heinemeier, Rest in Peace

John HeineneierIn several of my longer posts and some streams, I refer to Fr. John and my time working out of St. John the Evangelist Lutheran Church in East Williamsburg, Brooklyn.

I worked as VISTA Volunteer, a formative time in my life, and Fr. John was my work supervisor.

He co-officiated our marriage and provided me with both professional and personal guidance.

A few days ago, he passed away. It was less than a year after Jan’s death.

Fr. John lived a life of meaning and impact as Jan did. My life is but a shadow compared to their lives.

Read Pastor Heinemeier’s memoir.


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. All donations are tax-deductible.

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I receive a commission when you buy a book or product using a link on this page. Thank you for supporting Sharing Jan’s Love blog.

Finding Life’s Meaning in Williamsburg

Fifty years ago, I stood on the northwest corner of Maujer Street and Graham Avenue with five new friends. We had taken a  cab from NYC and were unsure which way to the rectory. I suggested we go east on Maujer Street and thus began a journey to find meaning and purpose in my life. […]

Show thread (1)

Soaring Spirits at Celebrate Jan Day

Friends Help Me Celebrate Jan’s Life

Over 100 people joined us to Celebrate Jan Day in Hanson Park in Cranford, NJ.

Our family will always be grateful for all of those who attended. The reimagination of the triangle into the Jan Lilien Memorial Triangle Garden, along with the benches and the Jan Lilien Education Fund, which sponsors events and programs on sustainability and environmental awareness., will ensure that her memory and legacy will endure forever.

Please consider donating to the fund.

https://youtu.be/SpFTj6_Ll6I?t=5

The photo is of friends from across the country and Canada who came to the park to celebrate Jan’s birthday.

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When you buy a book or product using a link on this page, I receive a commission. Thank you for supporting Sharing Jan’s Love blog.

The Jan Lilien Education Fund!

Shovels
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Jan and Richard Lovers Forever
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Soaring Spirits at Celebrate Jan Day
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Hanson Park Display Carolle Huber
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St. John the Evangelist Lutheran Church
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Soaring Spirits at Celebrate Jan Day
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We Are All the Same in the Dark

Read: January 2023

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We Are All the Same in the Dark

by Julia Heaberlin

We Are All the Same in the Dark by Julia Heaberlin is a novel I highly recommend and wish I had read earlier. The title summarizes the reality of all humans, that in the dark we are all the same. Disabilities do not define us, just as being a widow does not define who I am. In this twisty psychological thriller, Julia Heaberlin paints two unforgettable portraits of a woman and a girl who redefine perceptions of physical beauty and strength. Her novel has helped me redefine my grief.

I have been a widow for almost twenty-one months. After a trauma of that magnitude, it is easier to let the widowed state define me. But I am more than just a widow! But I am a father, grandfather, friend, neighbor, advocate, and more. Reading We Are All the Same in the Dark helped me embrace myself and not wallow in widowhood.

The novel begins with the discovery of a girl abandoned by the side of the road who threatens to unearth the long-buried secrets of a Texas town’s legendary cold case. In the first section, I was still determining if I wanted to continue. Once I read about Odette Tucker and Angel, it became a page-turner. 

This line from Odette given to Angelica, aka Angel, summarizes the characteristics that each of us should live by.

Tender. Resilient. Strong. Resourceful. Kind. Empathetic.—Six words Marshall Tucker wrote on a piece of paper to describe his daughter, Odette.

As a mensch-in-training, I will strive to live by those six words.

We are truly all the same in the dark.

We Are All the Same in the Dark is the ninth book I read this year.

The Goodreads summary provides an overview,

It’s been a decade since Trumanell Branson disappeared, leaving only a bloody handprint behind. Her pretty face still hangs like a watchful queen on the posters on the walls of the town’s Baptist church, the police station, and the high school. They all promise the same thing: We will find you. Meanwhile, her brother, Wyatt, lives as a pariah in the desolation of the old family house, cleared of wrongdoing by the police but tried and sentenced in the court of public opinion and a new documentary about the crime.

When Wyatt finds a lost girl dumped in a field of dandelions, making silent wishes, he believes she is a sign. The town’s youngest cop, Odette Tucker, believes she is a catalyst that will ignite a seething town still waiting for its missing girl to come home. But Odette can’t look away. She shares a wound that won’t close with the mute, one-eyed mystery girl. And she is haunted by her history with the missing Tru.

Desperate to solve both cases, Odette fights to save the lost girl in the present and to dig up the shocking truth about a fateful night in the past–the night her friend disappeared. This night inspired her to become a cop, the night that wrote them all a role in the town’s dark, violent mythology.


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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I receive a commission when you buy a book or product using a link on this page. Thank you for supporting Sharing Jan’s Love blog.



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Ahab's Wife: Or, The Star-gazer: A Novel

Read: August 2021

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Ahab’s Wife: Or, The Star-gazer

by Sena Jeter Naslund

Ahab’s Wife: Or, The Star-gazer by Sena Jeter Naslund is a book I could not put down once I finished the first chapter. “Captain Ahab was neither my first husband nor my last.” is one of the most-recognized first sentences in literature–along with “Call me Ishmael.”

Sena Jeter Naslund has created a transcendent heroine – Una Spenser – who is as memorable as Ahab. Una’s universe spans a time that begins to redefine both women and men.

After a spellbinding opening scene, the tale flashes back to Una’s childhood in Kentucky; her idyllic adolescence with her aunt and uncle’s family at a lighthouse near New Bedford; her adventures disguised as a cabin boy on a whaling ship; her first marriage to a fellow survivor who descends into violent madness; courtship and marriage to Ahab; life as mother and a rich captain’s wife in Nantucket; involvement with Frederick Douglass; and a man who is in Nantucket researching his novel about his adventures on her ex-husband’s ship.

Ahab’s Wife is a breathtaking, magnificent, and uplifting story of one woman’s spiritual journey, informed by the spirit of the greatest American novel, but taking it beyond tragedy to redemptive triumph.

Having read this book, I can easily understand why my wife loved the book and encouraged me to read it. Her life story was much like Una’s, an uplifting story of her spiritual journey and her quest to repair the world.

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Creation Lake: A Novel

Read: November 2024

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Creation Lake: A Novel

by Rachel Kushner

Today, I started reading Creation Lake: A Novel by Rachel Kushner, a two-time finalist for the Booker Prize and the National Book Award. This novel follows a seductive and cunning American woman who infiltrates an anarchist collective in France. It is a gripping page-turner filled with dark humor. Creation Lake is Kushner‘s finest achievement—a work of high art, comedy, and unforgettable pleasure.

The story revolves around a secret agent, a thirty-four-year-old American woman who employs ruthless tactics and possesses striking beauty. She is sent to carry out covert operations in France. The narrator introduces herself as “Sadie Smith” when she arrives at a rural commune of French subversives, whom she is secretly monitoring, and to her lover, Lucien, a young and well-to-do Parisian whom she meets by so-called “cold bump”—making him believe their encounter was accidental. Like everyone else she targets, Lucien is helpful to her and ultimately manipulated by her. Sadie operates with strategy and deception, following instructions from her “contacts”—shadowy figures in business and government. Initially, these contacts want her to provoke reactions. As the story progresses, their demands become more complex.

In this region filled with ancient farms and prehistoric caves, Sadie becomes captivated by a mysterious figure named Bruno Lacombe. Bruno mentors young activists who believe that the path to emancipation lies not in revolt but in a return to the ancient past. Just as Sadie thinks she is the seductress and puppet master of those she surveils, Bruno enchants her with his ingenious counter-histories, poignant laments, and tragic narrative.

In brief, striking sections, Rachel Kushner‘s interpretation of “noir” is taut and dazzling.

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Dogs and Monsters: Stories

Read: October 2024

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Dogs and Monsters: Stories

by Mark Haddon

Today, I started reading Dogs and Monsters: Stories by Mark Haddon. The collection features eight captivating and imaginative stories that blend Greek myths with contemporary dystopian narratives. The stories explore themes of mortality, moral choices, and various forms of love, including romantic, familial, and self-love. Haddon’s clear-eyed vision is infused with deep empathy.

In addition, Haddon’s fluid prose showcases his remarkable powers of observation, both of the physical world and the inner workings of the human psyche. Greek myths have fascinated people for millennia with their timeless appeal and enduring lessons about fate, hubris, and life’s uncertainties. In Dogs and Monsters: Stories, Mark Haddon delves into the heart of these ancient fables and presents them in a fresh light. For instance, in one story, the dawn goddess Eos requests that Zeus grant her lover Tithonus eternal life but forgets to ask for eternal youth. In “The Quiet Limit of the World,” Haddon imagines Tithonus’s life as he ages over thousands of years, transforming this cautionary tale about tempting the gods into a spellbinding meditation on observing death from the outside. This tale ultimately explores how carnal love evolves into something more profound and poignant over time.

In “The Mother‘s Story,” Haddon reinterprets the myth of the Minotaur, born of the monstrous lust of King Minos’s wife, Pasiphaë. He turns it into a heartbreaking parable of a mother’s love for a damaged child and the more tangible monstrosities of patriarchy. In “D.O.G.Z.,” the story of Actaeon, who was transformed into a stag after glimpsing the naked goddess Diana and was subsequently torn apart by his hunting dogs, becomes a visceral metaphor for the continuum of human and animal behavior.

Other stories in Dogs and Monsters: Stories play with contemporary mythic tropes—such as genetic engineering, attempts to escape the future, and the cruelty of adolescent ostracism. These stories showcase how modern humans are subject to the same capriciousness that concerned the Greeks but in a fresh and intriguing light. Haddon‘s tales cover a wide range of themes, from the mythic to the domestic, from ancient Greece to the present day, and explore love alongside stories of cruelty. They take readers from battlefields to bed and breakfasts and from dogs in space to doors between worlds, all bound together by profound sympathy and an insight into how human beings think, feel, and act when pushed to their limits.

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The Swimmers: A Novel

Read: October 2022

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The Swimmers: A Novel

by Julie Otsuka

The Swimmers: A Novel by Julie Otsuka is a novel about what happens to a group of obsessed recreational swimmers when a crack appears at the bottom of their local pool. This searing, intimate story of mothers and daughters—and the sorrows of implacable loss—is the most commanding and unforgettable work yet from a modern master. I highly recommend The Swimmers: A Novel by Julie Otsuka.

The novel was a page-turner from the first to the last page. It had been on my to-read list for months, and I am happy to start reading The Swimmers: A Novel by Julie Otsuka

Memory loss is a frightening situation for anyone. Ms. Otuska writes powerfully and eloquently about Alice’s loss of her memory. I felt as if it was one of my loved ones.

The Goodreads summary provides an overview,

The swimmers are unknown to one another except through their private routines (slow lane, medium lane, fast lane) and the solace each takes in their morning or afternoon laps. But when a crack appears at the bottom of the pool, they are cast out into an unforgiving world without comfort or relief.

One of these swimmers is Alice, who is slowly losing her memory. The pool was a final stand against the darkness of her encroaching dementia for Alice. Without the fellowship of other swimmers and the routine of her daily laps, she is plunged into dislocation and chaos, swept into memories of her childhood and the Japanese American incarceration camp where she spent the war. Alice’s estranged daughter, reentering her mother’s life too late, witnesses her stark and devastating decline.


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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I receive a commission when you buy a book or product using a link on this page. Thank you for supporting Sharing Jan’sJan’s Love blog.

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The Days of Abandonment

Read: July 2024

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The Days of Abandonment

by Elena Ferrante

I’ve just started reading The Days of Abandonment by Elena Ferrante after finishing My Brilliant Friend. This book is among the New York Times’s 100 Best Books of the 21st Century. I chose to read it after watching An Undoing, a documentary about healing from an abusive 20-year marriage using unstitching wedding garments, one stitch at a time.

The film was part of the first night of the International Women’s Film Festival in Cranford. Although, except for one brief moment, I have never been in the same situation as the woman in the short video or Olga, the protagonist in the novel, I choose this as my next book to read. Of course, Ferrante’s writing is known for rich character development and powerful prose.

The Days of Abandonment follows the gripping story of an Italian woman named Olga, whose husband suddenly leaves after fifteen years of marriage. With two young children to care for, Olga finds it increasingly difficult to maintain her previous lifestyle of keeping a spotless house, cooking creative meals, and controlling her temper. After encountering her husband with his much younger lover in public, she even resorts to physically assaulting him.

In a “raging, torrential voice,” according to The New York Times, Olga describes her journey from denial to devastating emptiness. Trapped within the four walls of their high-rise apartment, she confronts her ghosts, the potential loss of her identity, and the possibility that life may never return to normal.

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