The Half-Life of Ruby Fielding: A Novel by Lydia Kang is a spellbinding historical mystery about hidden identities, wartime paranoia, and the compelling power of deceit. It was my free April book from First Reads, and it was a page-turner that I highly recommend.
Stream of Consciousness!
My random thoughts on Jan, love, grief, life, and all things considered.
My Evil Mother: A Short Story
My Evil Mother: A Short Story by Margaret Atwood was a free book with your Prime Reading membership. I highly recommend it as it is one of my best books this year. My Evil Mother was an enjoyable read and reminded me why she is a great author and why short stories are unique and special. As the NY Times described, My Evil Mother, is a bittersweet short story about mothers, daughters' witches' brew of love—and control.
My Back Against the Wall
Yesterday was the anniversary of the first time we almost lost Jan. She rebounded healthier, more vibrant, and more resilient.
Within days, Jan’s home hospice began with days.
From feeling on top of the original World Trade Center on April 3, it felt as if I dropped quickly to the 78th-floor Sky Lobby, rebounded a few floors, and then went into free fall to the ground floor.
The whiplash of free-falling made me more resilient and forced me to learn that when my back is against the wall, I have no choice but to move forward.
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Eleven, Twelve, or None
Today is eleven months since Jan, the love of my life, died.
But it also could have been the first anniversary.
A year ago, she had emergency surgery to install a stent and was in the ICU with a blood pressure of 70 over 40 and a temperature of 100.
It could have been fatal had we delayed going to the hospital.
Instead, when I visited her a year ago, she was the healthiest in years. I thought we had survived the worst, and she would only get better.
Even though that did not happen, our love will never die.
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Joining Hands, Marching Together
On Shabbat, one of our readings is Standing On The Parted Shores Of History.
Jan and I always liked that reading. Eleven months since Jan died, it has new meaning for me.
The closing lines explain the only option to manage my grief.
That there is no way to get from here to there except by joining hands, marching together.
Would I prefer to join hands with Jan and march into a new day?
Alas, that is not possible.
However, Jan’s love and the portion of her soul that remains with me help me get from here to there.
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April Showers Set the Stage for Jan’s Birthday
Since Jan turned twenty-four in 1974, I have celebrated her birthday.
As my birthday is next to the last day of March, I would always say to her on April 1st; now we can celebrate your birthday all month.
She protested that her birthday was not all that important. I always disagreed.
This year, her birthday is a chance for family and friends to come together in Hanson Park to celebrate her life as we dedicate her living memorial.
Jan’s birthday means so very much to our family this year. It began as a tree and is now so much more than that. Please join us.
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Luky Us
Lucky Us by Amy Bloom is a book that hooked me on the opening line - “My father’s wife died. My mother said we should drive down to his place and see what might be in it for us.” Having surpassed my Goodreads 2022 reading goal, I wanted a lite, historical fiction book and found this one in the e-library. I enjoyed reading it and highly recommend it.