Richard W. Brown

Stream of Consciousness!

My random thoughts on Jan, love, grief, life, and all things considered.

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Gratitude to Family and Friends

Gratitude to Family and Friends

JanA year ago today, we buried Jan, the love of my life. Even though she is still with me in spirit, it isn’t easy to believe it has been a year.

We had a steady drizzle that turned the ground into mud.

NJ had relaxed COVID restrictions at the end of April, allowing only twelve people to attend a graveside funeral.

We had almost one hundred attend.

I remember trying to thank everyone who came that day. I knew they were in mourning as well. I wanted them to know our family appreciated their support and understood their grief.

Richard W. Brown speaks about grief, sharing Jan’s love, and how Hanson Park became the site of Jan’s Memorial Garden.


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Cynthia and Susan Sitting on Jan's Bench

Jan Was the Wind Beneath My Wings

Jan Lilien Education Fund

Photo courtesy of Neeru and Asish Patel.

One of the most poignant moments during Celebrate Jan Day was when Cynthia Manno sang “Wind Beneath My Wings.”

Not only is Cynthia an accomplished vocalist, but she is someone Jan enjoyed listening to her voice.

We had heard her on many occasions but most often at the Salem Roadhouse Cafe.

Jan was and always will be my hero. All I ever needed was her love, which will never die!

Did you ever know that you’re my hero,
and everything I would like to be?
I can fly higher than an eagle,
’cause you are the wind beneath my wings.

Cynthia Manno sings “Wind Beneath my Wings” by Bette Midler at Celebrate Jan Day.


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Tables at Celebrate Jan Day

A Year Without Jan is a Strange Year

April Showers Set the Stage for Jan's Birthday

Artwork graciously provided by Emi Sato.

It has been a year since the love of my life died. This morning, I got up and walked as if it was just another day.

But it is not just another day. It is one more day without Jan and one filled with questions.

Have I done enough to honor her?

Have I done enough to share her love?

Have I grown enough so that my grief is a minor part of me?

What would Jan do?

Although the questions are unanswerable today, I know one self-evident truth.

Our love will never die; it will grow stronger every day!

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Shovels

New Page: Celebrate Jan Day Photos

April Showers Set the Stage for Jan's Birthday

Artwork graciously provided by Emi Sato.

Celebrate Jan Day on April 24, 2022, was a success. One hundred friends joined our family and volunteers from the Hanson Park Conservancy to celebrate her life. We dedicated and broke ground on a living memorial for her in the park.

Thanks to Neeru and Asish Patel, longtime friends, we have ninety-six photos of Celebrate Jan Day. If you use them, please credit them as the photographers. Click here to view video clips from Celebrate Jan Day.

If you share on social media with the links on this page, please use these hashtags.

  • #sharingjanslove
  • #janlilien
  • #loverneverdies

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When you buy a book or product using a link on this page, I receive a commission. Thank you for supporting Sharing Jan’s Love blog.

Celebrate Jan Day Photos

Over One Hundred Celebrate Jan’s Life We are working with Hanson Park and Carolle Huber Landscape Architecture to develop a creative reimagination of the Hanson Park Triangle. Click here for a PDF of the design. These ninety-six photos are courtesy of Neeru and Asish Patel. If you use them, please credit them as photographers. Click here […]
Jan and Richard Lovers Forever

Jan’s Birthday Playlist is Joyful

April Showers Set the Stage for Jan's Birthday

Artwork graciously provided by Emi Sato.

Jan’s Birthday Playlist was one she curated for her sixtieth birthday. The music was perfect for that birthday and every day. We played this music in Hanson Park on Celebrate Jan Day, and I share it with anyone who loves Jan and music. Jan listened to each song twice before selecting it for this playlist. She did not include many because they needed to meet her criteria.

Jan wanted the music to reflect her passion for life and her love for her family.

 

Enjoy and share Jan’s love.

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Celebrate Jan Day

On Sunday, April 24, 2022, in Hanson Park in Cranford, NJ, one hundred friends joined our family and volunteers from the Hanson Park Conservancy to Celebrate Jan's life as we dedicated and broke ground on a living memorial for her in the park.
Soaring Spirits at Celebrate Jan Day

Jan and the Righteous Thirty-Six

Jan Lilien

Artwork graciously provided by Emi Sato.

At Celebrate Jan Day, Rabbi Dr. Renee Edelman spoke about the thirty-six righteous people. Jan, according to the Rabbi, was one of the thirty-six.

“Jan was one of those who did the most to help other people,” said Rabbi Renee. She highlighted Jan’s spark and smiles that invited people to join in conversations.

“Her soul will always be with those who knew her and were loved by Jan,” said Rabbi Renee.

I will forever be grateful to Rabbi Renee for her love, friendship, and spiritual guidance.

The Rabbi’s video is one of twelve video clips from Celebrate Jan Day.

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New Page: Videos from Celebrate Jan Day!

Thanks to Cranford’s TV35, a local access television channel, the event was live-streamed and can now be viewed on YouTube. We now have videos of the individual presentations. Enjoy, and please share!

This video is Cynthia Manno singing “Wind Beneath my Wings” by Bette Midler at Celebrate Jan Day.

Celebrate Jan Day on April 24, 2022, was a success. One hundred friends joined our family and volunteers from the Hanson Park Conservancy to celebrate her life as we dedicated and broke ground on a living memorial for her in the park.

If you share on social media with the links on this page, please use these hashtags.

  • #sharingjanslove
  • #janlilien
  • #loverneverdies

Subscribe

Contact Us

When you buy a book or product using a link on this page, I receive a commission. Thank you for supporting Sharing Jan’s Love blog.

Celebrate Jan Day Videos

Over One Hundred Celebrate Jan’s Life We are working with Hanson Park and Carolle Huber Landscape Architecture to develop a creative reimagination of the Hanson Park Triangle. Click here for a PDF of the design. Thanks to Cranford’s TV35, a local access television channel, the event was live-streamed and can now be viewed on YouTube. […]

The Jan Lilien Education Fund!

Gratitude to Family and Friends
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Cynthia and Susan Sitting on Jan's Bench
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Tables at Celebrate Jan Day
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Shovels
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Jan and Richard Lovers Forever
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Soaring Spirits at Celebrate Jan Day
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The Covenant of Water

Read: December 2023

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The Covenant of Water

by Abraham Verghese

Today, I began reading The Covenant of Water, the long-awaited new novel by Abraham Verghese, the author of the significant word-of-mouth bestseller Cutting for Stone, which has sold over 1.5 million copies in the United States alone and remained on the New York Times bestseller list for over two years. The Covenant of Water was a holiday gift from Mike, Elyssa, Nick, and Wes.

From 1900 to 1977, The Covenant of Water is set in Kerala, on South India’s Malabar Coast. It follows three generations of a family that suffers a peculiar affliction: in every generation, at least one person dies by drowning—and in Kerala, water is everywhere. At the turn of the century, a twelve-year-old girl from Kerala’s long-existing Christian community, grieving the death of her father, is sent by boat to her wedding, where she will meet her forty-year-old husband for the first time. From this unforgettable new beginning, the young girl—and future matriarch, known as Big Ammachi—will witness unthinkable changes throughout her extraordinary life, full of joy and triumph as well as hardship and loss, her faith and love the only constants.

A shimmering evocation of a bygone India and of the passage of time itself, The Covenant of Water is a hymn to progress in medicine and human understanding and a humbling testament to the difficulties undergone by past generations for the sake of those alive today. It is one of the most masterful literary novels published in recent years.


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Regarding gifts made this month, I will match dollar for dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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What's Mine and Yours

Read: February 2022

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What’s Mine and Yours

by Naima Coster

What’s Mine and Yours by Naima Coster is one of the best books I have read in the last few years. At this moment in my life, family means more than ever. This book explores how families can collapse and find ways to reunite. Although my life circumstances are the polar opposite of the protagonists, the book’s central themes resonated with me.

The focus on integration in this Millenium is a subject that needs to be discussed openly and honestly. The racist response of some of the parents is told in a way that clarifies the pain that that can cause.

Even the parents who favor integration have their flaws, which are passed on to their children.

The children, especially Noelle and Gee, oppose their parent’s actions. The sins of their parents are sowed upon them as well.

I have placed this book on my list of novels for reading later this year or n 2023. Its themes are so strong that a second reading is required to engage with its multiple levels fully.

This is a Goodreads summary.

A community in the Piedmont of North Carolina rises in outrage as a county initiative draws students from the primarily Black east side of town into predominantly white high schools on the west. For two students, Gee and Noelle, the integration sets off a chain of events that will tie their two families together in unexpected ways over the next twenty years.

The debate is Jade, Gee’s steely, ambitious mother, on one side of the integration. In the aftermath of a severe loss, she is determined to give her son the tools he’ll need to survive in America as a sensitive, anxious, young Black man. On the other side is Noelle’s headstrong mother, Lacey May, a white woman who refuses to see her half-Latina daughters as anything but white. She strives to protect them as she couldn’t protect herself from the influence of their charming but unreliable father, Robbie.

When Gee and Noelle join the school play meant to bridge the divide between new and old students, their paths collide, and their two seemingly disconnected families begin to form deeply knotted, messy ties that will shape the trajectory of their adult lives. And their mothers-each determined to see her child inherit a better life-will make choices that will haunt them for decades to come.

As love is built and lost, and the past never too far behind, What’s Mine and Yours is an expansive, vibrant tapestry that moves between the years, from the foothills of North Carolina to Atlanta, Los Angeles, and Paris. It explores every family’s unique organism: what breaks them apart and how they come back together.

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The Friend: A Novel

Read: September 2022

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The Friend: A Novel

by Sigrid Nunez

The Friend: A Novel by Sigrid Nunez is a moving story of love, friendship, grief, healing, and the magical bond between a woman and her dog. When a woman unexpectedly loses her lifelong best friend and mentor, she finds herself burdened with the unwanted dog he has left behind. I understand the positives and negatives of having a dog help with grief, but I cannot have one where I live.

One line that resonated with me was,

You can’t hurry, love, as the song goes. You can’t hurry, grief, either.

Far too often, widows are in a hurry, not unlike young lovers. We need to learn patience and remind ourselves that the more we love, the more we will grieve.

I often said that Jan would replace me with a dog if she survived me.

I recommend this book.

The Goodreads summary provides a concise overview,

The woman’s own battle against grief is intensified by the mute suffering of the dog, a huge Great Dane traumatized by the inexplicable disappearance of its master, and by the threat of eviction: dogs are prohibited in her apartment building.

While others worry that grief has made her a victim of magical thinking, the woman refuses to be separated from the dog except for brief periods of time. Isolated from the rest of the world, increasingly obsessed with the dog’s care, determined to read its mind and fathom its heart, she comes dangerously close to unraveling. But while troubles abound, rich and surprising rewards lie in store for both of them.

Elegiac and searching, The Friend is both a meditation on loss and a celebration of human-canine devotion.


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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I receive a commission when you buy a book or product using a link on this page. Thank you for supporting Sharing Jan’s Love blog.

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The Brighter the Light

Read: June 2022

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The Brighter the Light

by Mary Ellen Taylor

The Brighter the Light by Mary Ellen Taylor was my eighty-ninth book since the beginning of 2019. After reading about Thomas Cromwell, I needed a change of pace. With the start of the Hurricane season, it seemed as good a time as any to read a novel by a fellow Southerner. That the book is also an “evocative dual-timeline novel detailing one woman’s journey to discover the hidden stories of her family’s seaside resort” seemed a perfect match.

I highly recommend this book. As a Southerner, I found the revealing of the hidden secrets accomplished in a style that makes this a page-turner.

The Goodreads summary provides an overview.

When a shipwreck surfaces, old secrets are sure to follow.

Or so goes the lore in Ivy Neale’s hometown of Nags Head, North Carolina. When Ivy inherits her family’s beachfront cottage upon her grandmother’s death, she knows returning to Nags Head means facing the best friend and the boyfriend who betrayed her years ago.

But then a winter gale uncovers the shipwreck of local legend—and Ivy soon begins to stumble across more skeletons in the closet than just her own. Amid the cottage’s clutter are clues from her grandmother’s past at the enchanting seaside resort her family once owned. One fateful summer in 1950, the arrival of a dazzling singer shook the staff and guests alike—and not everyone made it to fall.

As Ivy contends with broken relationships and a burgeoning romance in the present, the past threatens to sweep her away. But as she uncovers the strength of her grandmother and the women who came before her, she realizes she is like the legendary shipwreck: the sands may shift around her, but she has found her home here by the sea.


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Do You Remember Being Born?: A Novel

Read: September 2023

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Do You Remember Being Born?

by Sean Michaels

I started reading “Do You Remember Being Born?” by Sean Michaels, a writer who won the Scotiabank Giller Prize. The novel is about an aging poet named Marian Ffarmer, a legend in the world of poetry. However, despite her success, she struggles with financial issues and her son’s inability to buy a house. Marian has sacrificed her personal relationships and happiness to pursue her career but questions whether it is worth it.

One day, she receives an invitation from a Tech Company to travel to California and work with their poetry AI, Charlotte. The company wants her to co-author a poem with their bot in a historic partnership, which clashes with Marian’s beliefs about the individual pursuit of art. However, she decides to take this opportunity, even though it makes her feel like a sell-out and a skeptic. The encounter in California changes her life, work, and understanding of kinship.

The book explores the nature of language, art, labor, capital, family, and community. It’s a response to some of the most disquieting questions of our time. The author, Sean Michaels, is a winner of the Scotiabank Giller Prize, and his book is a love letter to and interrogation of the creative legacy. It’s a joyful recognition that belonging to one’s art must mean belonging to the world to survive meaningfully.


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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I receive a commission when you buy a book or product using a link on this page. Thank you for supporting Sharing Jan’s Love blog.



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The Human Stain: A Novel

Read: September 2024

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The Human Stain: A Novel

by Philip Roth

Today, I started reading The Human Stain: A Novel by Philip Roth. This book is considered a masterpiece and has earned its place among The New York Times’ 100 Best Books of the 21st Century. The story takes place in 1998, a significant year marked by a presidential impeachment that affected the entire nation. In a peaceful New England town, the respected classics professor Coleman Silk is forced into retirement due to false accusations of racism by his colleagues.

This accusation triggers a series of events that bring to light shocking revelations about Coleman, revelations that carry a profound societal significance. Coleman Silk harbors a secret, a secret that is not about his affair with Faunia Farley, a woman half his age with a troubled past, or the alleged racism that led to his downfall at the college where he was once a respected dean. It’s not even about misogyny, despite Professor Delphine Roux’s attempts to portray him as such. Coleman’s true secret, a secret he has guarded for fifty years from everyone in his life, including his wife, children, colleagues, and friends, is a defining aspect of his character and his relationships.

The Human Stain is a compelling portrayal of 1990s America, a time of clashing moralities and ideological divisions. Through public denunciations and rituals of purification, it delves into how the nation’s destiny and the ‘human stain’ that marks human nature shape the lives of postwar Americans. This potent and captivating novel is a fitting continuation of Philip Roth‘s earlier works, each set in a distinct historical period.

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