Richard W. Brown

Stream of Consciousness!

My random thoughts on Jan, love, grief, life, and all things considered.

1090 Posts Likes
Jan, I'm Going to Make It!

Jan, I’m Going to Make It!

Celebrate JanEvery day, I remind myself that “no matter how hard it is, or how hard it gets, I will make it.”

It is not so much that I have real fears of not making it, but grief has left me without Jan, who believed in me.

Hours can go by when I have no contact with anyone. In those dark moments, doubts arise faster than rising seas.

My internal monologue with Jan asks her for words of wisdom to remind me that our love will never die; it will only grow stronger every day.

Register to Attend Celebrate Jan Day

Subscribe

Contact Us

When you buy a book or product using a link on this page, I receive a commission. Thank you for supporting Sharing Jan’s Love blog.

Jan's Smile is Still With Me!

Jan’s Smile is Still With Me!

Jan LilienJan and I always believed that smiling is essential, even in the darkest moments.

I have seen thousands of Jan’s smiles, but I remember one more than others.

Six months before her lymphoma diagnosis, I was ending my full-time work career.

I always introduced Jan and thanked her for her love and support.

If you are honoring me, I only deserve it because of the love and support of my wife, Jan!

The photo is now my Zoom background. Jan was smiling at me as I smiled at her.

Love never dies; it only grows stronger every day!

Register to Attend Celebrate Jan Day

Subscribe

Contact Us

I receive a commission when you buy a book or product using a link on this page. Thank you for supporting SharingJan’ss Love blog.

Jan Lilien

Jan Lilien Bookmarks

Jan Lilien BookmarkToday, I picked up the Jan Lilien Bookmarks from TC Graphics. They were designed with love by my sister-in-law Linda Brown.

Do I love them? Yes, very much. Click here for a larger image.

Each of the bookmarks looks great feels solid like a bookmark should, and when I look at them, I weep.

These will be distributed to those who attend in person or virtually Celebrate Jan Day.

They will also be given out at HPC’s Jan Lilien Education Fund plans a series of events and programs to address sustainability and environmental awareness.

Please register today to attend in-person or virtually on April 24th

Register to Attend Celebrate Jan Day

Subscribe

Contact Us

When you buy a book or product using a link on this page, I receive a commission. Thank you for supporting Sharing Jan’s Love blog.

Green Donuts

Green Donuts for Nick

Celebrate Jan“Grandpa, when you pick me up next Wednesday, make you stop by the farm and get green donuts,” said my grandchild as I picked her up from school.

Of course, I said yes. However, I never was able to get the donuts. Within forty-eight hours, our world shut down due to COVID.

We all expected the shutdown would be a few weeks, not two years. Almost one million lives have been lost.

I no longer do school pickups.

At the time, I never thought Jan would not be with me today. Our love will never die, but green donuts have grown stale.

Register to Attend Celebrate Jan Day

Subscribe

Contact Us

When you buy a book or product using a link on this page, I receive a commission. Thank you for supporting Sharing Jan’s Love blog.

Reading with the Soul Sisters

Reading with the Soul Sisters

Celebrate JanYesterday, I walked in Hanson Park as I often do. Because of the mild weather, I decided to read my current book, The Once and Future Witches by Alix E. Harrow.

Of the two benches honoring Jan Lilien, I had nicknamed the book and coffee bench when we first walked thru the park. The plaque now identifies it as the Soul Sisters bench.

I do not drink coffee, but I have always respected what her soul sisters did to support Jan during her battle with lymphoma.

Reading with soul sisters was like reading with Jan, as she is always with me.

Register to Attend Celebrate Jan Day

Subscribe

Contact Us

When you buy a book or product using a link on this page, I receive a commission. Thank you for supporting Sharing Jan’s Love blog.

Jan and Nick

March Issue of Sharing Jan’s Love Newsletter

Celebrate JanSharing Jan’s Love Newsletter March Issue is Online!

This issue includes articles on:

I have reviews of recent books I have read:

  1. The Secrets We Left Behind,
  2. Scarlet Carnation,
  3. Home and
  4. What’s Mine and Yours.

Please share and subscribe!

Register to Attend Celebrate Jan Day

Subscribe

Contact Us

When you buy a book or product using a link on this page, I receive a commission. Thank you for supporting Sharing Jan’s Love blog.

Brunch Group

Busy 23-hour Day

Take Me OutIn March, daylight savings time gives us a 23-hour day. Usually, a short Sunday can get consumed with household chores.

This year, I had brunch in the morning with seven widows who have become friends and critical parts of my support group.

In the evening, I went to see Take Me Out on Broadway. On the surface, it is about baseball, but it is about long-term prejudices and the meaning of traditions, loyalty, and the price of victory.

Two years after the COVID lockdowns, it was good to reengage in the world.

Jan was with me as she always is.

Celebrate Jan

Register to Attend Celebrate Jan Day

Subscribe

Contact Us

When you buy a book or product using a link on this page, I receive a commission. Thank you for supporting Sharing Jan’s Love blog.

The Jan Lilien Education Fund!

Jan, I'm Going to Make It!
×
Jan's Smile is Still With Me!
×
Jan Lilien
×
Green Donuts
×
Reading with the Soul Sisters
×
Jan and Nick
×
Brunch Group
×
Cloud Atlas: A Novel

Read: September 2024

Get this book

Cloud Atlas: A Novel

by David Mitchell

Today, I started reading Cloud Atlas: A Novel by David Mitchell, one of The New York Times’ 100 Best Books of the 21st Century. Cloud Atlas begins in 1850 with Adam Ewing, an American notary, voyaging from the Chatham Isles to his home in California. Ewing is befriended by a physician, Dr. Goose, who begins treating him for a rare species of brain parasite.

The novel careens, with dazzling virtuosity, to Belgium in 1931, the West Coast in the 1970s, an inglorious present-day England, a Korean superstate of the near future where neo-capitalism has run amok, and, finally, a postapocalyptic Iron Age Hawaii in the last days of history. But the story doesn’t end even there. What sets Cloud Atlas apart is its unique narrative structure, which boomerangs back through centuries and space, returning by the same route, in reverse, to its starting point. This journey reveals how the disparate characters connect, how their fates intertwine, and how their souls drift across time like clouds across the sky.

As wild as a video game, as mysterious as a Zen koan, Cloud Atlas is an unforgettable tour de force that, like its incomparable author, has transcended its cult classic status to become a worldwide phenomenon. The novel’s diverse settings and cultures, from 1850 Chatham Isles to a postapocalyptic Iron Age Hawaii, appeal to readers across the globe, offering a rich and varied reading experience.

×
The Half-Life of Ruby Fielding: A Novel

Read: April 2022

Get this book

The Half-Life of Ruby Fielding: A Novel

by Lydia Kang

The Half-Life of Ruby Fielding: A Novel by Lydia Kang is a spellbinding historical mystery about hidden identities, wartime paranoia, and the compelling power of deceit. It was my free April book from First Reads, and it was a page-turner that I highly recommend.

The first year of World War II and the Manhattan Project is the backdrop of this historical fiction. The siblings’ Will and Maggie Scripps are well-defined andy sympathetic characters. I will leave it for the reader to find out the truth about them. Ruby Fielding is a fascinating character, although it takes time for her to be fully developed.

Again, I highly recommend this novel!

Goodreads provides a concise overview.

Brooklyn, 1942. War rages overseas as brother and sister Will and Maggie Scripps contribute to the war effort stateside. Ambitious Will secretly scouts for the Manhattan Project while grief-stricken Maggie works at the Navy Yard, writing letters to her dead mother between shifts.

But the siblings’ quiet lives change when they discover a beautiful woman hiding under their back stairs. This stranger harbors an obsession with poisons, an affection for fine things, and a singular talent for killing small creatures. As she draws Will and Maggie deeper into her mysterious past, they both begin to suspect she’s quite dangerous―all while falling helplessly under her spell.

With whispers of spies in dark corners and the world’s first atomic bomb in the works, the visitor’s sudden presence in Maggie’s and Will’s lives raises questions about who she is and what she wants. Is this mysterious woman someone they can trust―or a threat to everything they hold dear?

Register to Attend Celebrate Jan Day

Subscribe

Contact Us

When you buy a book or product using a link on this page, I receive a commission. Thank you for supporting Sharing Jan’s Love blog.

×
Good Material: A Novel

Read: December 2024

Get this book

Good Material: A Novel

by Dolly Alderton

Today, I started reading “Good Material: A Novel” by Dolly Alderton, the bestselling author of “Ghosts” and “Everything I Know About Love.” This book has been listed as one of The New York Times 100 Notable Books of 2024 and is among their 10 Best Books of 2024. So far, I have read three of the top five fiction books of 2024: “All Fours,” “James,” and “Martyr!.” I plan to read the fifth book, “You Dreamed of Empires,” next.

Good Material” has received widespread acclaim for exploring heartbreak, friendship, and the various ways to cope with these experiences.

Andy loves Jen. Jen loved Andy. And he can’t work out why she stopped.

Now he is. . .

Without a home

Waiting for his stand-up career to take off

Wondering why everyone else around him seemed to have grown up while he wasn’t looking

Set adrift in the sea of heartbreak, Andy clings to the idea of solving the puzzle of his ruined relationship. Because if he can find the answer, Jen may find her way back to him. But Andy still has much to learn, not least his ex-girlfriend’s side of the story…

In this sharply funny and exquisitely relatable story of romantic disaster and friendship, Dolly Alderton offers up a love story with two endings, demonstrating again why she is one of the most exciting writers today and the authentic voice of a generation. Her writing feels like a conversation with a close friend, making you feel understood and seen.



When you purchase a book through one of my links, I earn a small commission that helps support my passion for reading. This contribution allows me to buy even more books to share with you, creating an incredible cycle of discovering great reads together! Your support truly makes a difference!


 

×
A Matter of Death and Life

Read: December 2024

Get this book

A Matter of Death and Life

by Irvin D. Yalom and Marilyn Yalom

Today, I embarked on an emotional journey with “A Matter of Death and Life” by Irvin D. Yalom and Marilyn Yalom. This poignant narrative follows the renowned psychiatrist and his talented writer wife as they navigate a year filled with profound reflection following her terminal diagnosis. I received this thoughtful gift from my son Mike and his family, which makes it all the more special.

As the year winds down, I’m excited to say that this will be the final book I dive into in 2024 and will also mark the beginning of my reading adventures in 2025! Irwin and Marylin Yalom‘s exploration of love and living without regret is touching and inspiring, reminding me of the journey my wife and I took after her diagnosis of lymphoma in August 2019.

Irvin Yalom, an internationally acclaimed psychiatrist and author, dedicated his career to counseling those suffering from anxiety and grief. However, he had never faced the need to counsel himself until his wife, the esteemed feminist author Marilyn Yalom, was diagnosed with cancer. In A Matter of Death and Life,” the Yaloms share how they confronted profound new struggles: Marilyn aimed to die a good death, while Irv sought to continue living without her.

Through alternating accounts of their last months together and Irv’s first months alone, they provide a rare window into facing mortality and coping with the loss of a beloved partner. The Yaloms enjoyed a loving family, a home in Palo Alto under a magnificent valley oak, a large circle of friends, avid readers worldwide, and a long, fulfilling marriage. Yet, they faced death, as we all do. With the wisdom acquired over two lifetimes and the familiar warmth of teenage sweethearts who grew up together, they explore universal questions of intimacy, love, and grief.

Informed by their extensive life experiences, “A Matter of Death and Life” is an open-hearted offering to anyone seeking support, solace, and a meaningful life.



When you purchase a book through one of my links, I earn a small commission that helps support my passion for reading. This contribution allows me to buy even more books to share with you, creating an incredible cycle of discovering great reads together! Your support truly makes a difference!


×
Wintering: The Power of Rest and Retreat in Difficult Times

Read: October 2021

Get this book

Wintering: The Power of Rest and Retreat in Difficult Times

by Katherine May

Wintering: The Power of Rest and Retreat in Difficult Times by Katherine May is “an intimate, revelatory book exploring the ways we can care for and repair ourselves when life knocks us down.”

Two quotes that resonated with me were:

That’s what grief is – a yearning for that one last moment of contact that would settle everything.

We are in the habit of imagining our lives to be linear, a long march from birth to death in which we mass our powers, only to surrender them again, all the while slowly losing our youthful beauty. This is a brutal untruth. Life meanders through the woods. We have seasons when we flourish and seasons when the leaves fall upon us, revealing our bare bones. Given time they grow again.

May writes in a clear voice that conveys the importance of accepting the cycles of life instead of fighting them.

Sometimes you slip through the cracks: unforeseen circumstances like an abrupt illness, the death of a loved one, a breakup, or a job loss can derail a life. These periods of dislocation can be lonely and unexpected. For May, her husband fell ill, her son stopped attending school, and her own medical issues led her to leave a demanding job. Wintering explores how she not only endured this painful time but embraced the singular opportunities it offered.

A moving personal narrative shot through with lessons from literature, mythology, and the natural world, May’s story offers instruction on the transformative power of rest and retreat. Illumination emerges from many sources: solstice celebrations and dormice hibernation, C.S. Lewis and Sylvia Plath swimming in icy waters, and sailing arctic seas.

Ultimately Wintering invites us to change how we relate to our own fallow times. May models an active acceptance of sadness and finds nourishment in deep retreat, joy in the serene beauty of winter, and encouragement in understanding life as cyclical, not linear. A secular mystic, May forms a guiding philosophy for transforming the hardships that arise before the ushering in of a new season.

I recommend this book without reservation.


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

Subscribe

Contact Us

I receive a commission when you buy a book or product using a link on this page. Thank you for supporting Sharing Jan’s Love blog.



×
Long Bright River

Read: December 2021

Get this book

Long Bright River

by Liz Moore

Long Bright River by Liz Moore was a 2020 NPR Books We Love Selection. It’s a contemporary novel about the opioid epidemic, it’s a novel about sisters and families, it’s a book about the police and how they fall short of the communities they serve, and it’s a well-plotted crime novel. Its main story revolves around Mickey, a patrol officer raising a young son in a working-class neighborhood in Northeast Philadelphia, and her missing sister, who’s addicted to drugs. Both women are the children of addicts, raised by a strict grandmother.

Despite Long Bright River being selected by NPR and others as one of the best books, I was not sure what to expect. My doubts evaporated on page one. Mickey’s narration, including her description of Kensignton, made this a page-turner.

Mickey and Kacey’s lives became so realistic that I could not put the book down. One night, I stayed up to finish reading for the first time in almost a decade.

As much as it focuses on the opioid epidemic and the shortcomings of policing, its proper focus is on sisters and families. My love of family has become more important to me than ever since the loss of Jan, the love of my life.

Ms. Moore brings it all together in the ending but leaves enough doubt as to the future relationship of the sisters that we can feel the harsh reality of life itself. Long Bright River is the first but not the last book by this author that I will read.

Goodreads has an overview if you need more convincing.

In a Philadelphia neighborhood rocked by the opioid crisis, two once-inseparable sisters find themselves at odds. One, Kacey, lives on the streets in the vise of addiction. The other, Mickey, walks those same blocks on her police beat. They don’t speak anymore, but Mickey never stops worrying about her sibling.

Then Kacey disappears suddenly, at the same time that a mysterious string of murders begins in Mickey’s district, and Mickey becomes dangerously obsessed with finding the culprit–and her sister–before it’s too late.

Alternating its present-day mystery with the story of the sisters’ childhood and adolescence, Long Bright River is at once heart-pounding and heart-wrenching: a gripping suspense novel that is also a moving story of sisters, addiction, and the formidable ties that persist between place, family, and fate.

I highly recommend this book.

×