My random thoughts on Jan, love, grief, life, and all things considered.
Today, I started reading "The Secret Hours" by Mick Herron, a gripping spy thriller about a disastrous MI5 mission in Cold War Berlin. This book is a must-read for fans of "Slow Horses." "The Secret Hours" is a standalone spy thriller that is both unnerving and poignant yet also has laugh-out-loud moments. It is the breathtaking secret history that Slough House fans have been waiting for.
Today, I started reading Mercury: A Novel about a roofing family. The family's bond of loyalty is tested when they uncover a long-hidden secret at the heart of their blue-collar town. The book is written by Amy Jo Burns, the author of the critically acclaimed novel Shiner, which I read and enjoyed in 2022. I highly recommend it.
Help Me Step Up to Take Cancer Down on April 20!
Last year, I conquered twenty-six stories to fight against cancer, and this year, I am thrilled to participate again in The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society‘s Big Climb on April 20, 2024. This time, I am determined to climb the same 26 stairs to reach the top of One Gateway Center in Newark with more passion and energy to raise greater awareness and funds for blood cancer patients and their families.
I Completed LLS’s Big Climb NJ 2023!
Every ounce of my body and soul wanted Jan to climb with me as a survivor.
Being Earth Day made the climb more critical. If we are going to cure cancer, we need a healthy environment.
I climbed both for Jan to celebrate her seventy-third birthday and to step up to take down cancer by helping to find a cure for blood diseases.
I could not have climbed to the top without Jan's love, support, and encouragement!
In addition, my family and overlapping community networks, faith, neighbors, fellow widows, friends, and more helped me during my grief journey. Without their support, I could not have climbed even one step.
The Jewish New Year of the Trees
Tu Bishvat is a significant occasion in the Jewish faith as it marks the New Year of the Trees. It is a time when we are all reminded of our collective responsibility to serve as stewards of the Earth, irrespective of our religious beliefs. As I took my morning walk in the gray drizzle today, the dramatic impact of climate change was evident all around. There were tell-tale signs of environmental degradation everywhere. It made me ponder the legacy we will leave behind for future generations. Unless we act together now to ensure that everyone has access to clean and healthy communities, the consequences could be grave. We must take urgent steps towards a greener, more sustainable planet, and that starts with each one of us assuming responsibility for our actions and making conscious choices that are in harmony with nature.
In my backyard, Lisa M. Collins, on July 24, 2020, wrote “Sultry Nights and Magnolia Trees: New York City Is Now Subtropical” in The New York Times. Ms. Collins noted, “New York City, after years of being considered a humid continental climate, now sits within the humid subtropical climate zone. The classification requires that summers average above 72 degrees Fahrenheit — which New York’s have had since 1927 — and for winter months to stay above 27 degrees Fahrenheit, on average. Despite the occasional cold snap, the city has met that requirement for five years (as of 2020). And the winters are only getting warmer.
Decades ago, when I first moved to Brooklyn, today would have been colder, and instead of rain, we might have had snow. As my feet slipped on mud, I thought about the urgent need to protect our environment. The future is at stake, and we must act before it’s too late. Today, I took one small but essential step by sending a letter to our elected officials, urging them to support The A. Donald McEachin, Environmental Justice Act, sponsored by Senator Cory Booker and others. Together, we can combat climate change and create a better world for all, where marginalized communities have the legal tools to reduce environmental inequities.
The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.
I receive a commission when you buy a book or product using a link on this page. Thank you for supporting Sharing Jan’s Love blog.
2023 Was Very Hot – 1.48°C (2.66°F) Warmer!
An analysis by the Copernicus European Centre for Medium-Range Weather Forecasts recently concluded that 2023 recorded the highest global average temperature in the temperature data records from 1850.
Today, I recommended reading "Remarkably Bright Creatures" by Shelby Van Pelt. It's a charming, witty, and compulsively readable exploration of friendship, reckoning, and hope. The novel traces the unlikely connection of a widow with a giant Pacific octopus, making it perfect for fans of "A Man Called Ove." Shelby Van Pelt's debut novel is a gentle reminder that sometimes, looking at the past can help uncover a future that once felt impossible.
Still Marching for Peace, Justice, and Freedom
My wife, Jan, and I stood in the parking lot, shivering in the cold, waiting for the replacement bus to arrive. We had been up since before dawn, eager to participate in the Women’s March in Washington, DC. But our excitement had been dampened when we discovered the bus we were supposed to take had broken down.
As we stood outside in the cold, waiting for the replacement bus, my wife turned to me, her concern etched on her face. “Honey, you don’t have to come with us,” she said. It’s freezing out here, and we don’t even know if the replacement bus will be any better.”
But I wasn’t about to back down. I put my arms around Jan and pulled her close. “We’ve been in this fight together since we met,” I said, my voice firm. And I won’t let you go to DC alone.”
Jan smiled, relieved and grateful that I was still willing to journey with her. Together, we stood there, shivering in the icy wind, but determined to be a part of history and stand up for our beliefs.
Finally, a new bus arrived, and we climbed aboard. Sitting next to my wife, I couldn’t help but think of all the people who had fought before us for the self-evident freedoms we were still battling to achieve today. Would we ever have a day when we no longer had to march?
Jan, sensing my thoughts, took off her pink “Pussy Hat” and set it aside now that the sun was up and the heat was on. I couldn’t even knit a good hat,” she joked, and we laughed. I leaned over and kissed her, grateful for her strength and resilience in adversity.
Upon our return home seven years ago from the Women’s March, I had high hopes for real change. We must continue to march until everyone is entitled to the same inalienable rights of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. Even though we may face challenges, I draw inspiration from my wife, who was diagnosed with lymphoma three years and seven months after that warm day in January. Although she can’t physically march with me, I carry her in my heart and will keep marching until we live in a beloved community.
The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. For gifts made this month, I will match dollar for dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.
I receive a commission when you buy a book or product using a link on this page. Thank you for supporting Sharing Jan’s Love blog.
Peace, Love, and Tranquility for All
Liza Donnelly's simple but elegant Peace Animation that she created for Cartooning for Peace defines the dreams that inspire us to be the best we can be, not only for ourselves but for our friends, neighbors, and loved ones.
However, there are days when the world crumbles before our eyes.
Yet because of our collective astigmatism, our vision is blurred, and we cannot connect, work together and create a world where we can all find peace, love, and happiness.
My astigmatism blinded me when Jan died and kept me from understanding the magnitude of the gift that Jan's love provided me.
With the clarity of reaching the bottom of my life's journey, I can now see more clearly but have the motivation to change.
It is Icy Cold, But the Sunshine Lasts Longer!
The cold weather has penetrated my bones as I walk towards an uncleared part of my daily route. The snow beneath my boots is crystalized and makes a crunching sound as I turn left from North Avenue onto the trail alongside the Rahway River. A year before my marriage, Jan and I had walked in Ft. Greene Park, which felt like a moment reminiscent of the novel Dr. Zhivago. However, as much as I wish this moment was more like the novel, the only sound is the crunching echo of my boots. As I stroll through the icy terrain, I keep my balance and move forward. Some path sections have cleared halfway to North Union, but the shadows make it difficult for me to navigate.
The long winter month of January has plunged me into the depths of seasonal affective disorder (SAD) once again. The pervasive cold lingers despite the sun’s valiant attempts to brighten the day. As I go about my daily routine, I must tread carefully along the icy paths, determined to fulfill my fitness goals by closing the exercise and calorie rings.
As I climb the stairs towards the third floor, I unwrap The New York Times from its blue plastic cover. It’s January 20, 2024, a year from the next presidential inauguration. The uncertain future of who will be sworn in makes me feel anxious. However, a piece of information suddenly pops up in my mind, giving me a glimmer of hope. Today is the day when the sun will set below the horizon at 5 pm in my backyard. It may not instantly become warmer, but it’s a positive sign that encourages me to believe in a future of warmer weather and longer, dancing shadows in the evening.
The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.
I receive a commission when you buy a book or product using a link on this page. Thank you for supporting Sharing Jan’s Love blog.
"You earned a double ribbon today," my friend Cindy said as she slowed down to walk with her dog Henry next to me.
"Why, two ribbons," I asked as the brutal winds chopped my words into tiny ice pellets.
"One for walking daily and the second for walking in frigid weather."
I nodded and reminded myself I was walking for physical and mental health, not ribbons.
"The lake isn't frozen."
"Climate change," she responded.
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by Mick Herron
Today, I started reading “The Secret Hours” by Mick Herron, a gripping spy thriller about a disastrous MI5 mission in Cold War Berlin. This book is a must-read for fans of “Slow Horses.” “The Secret Hours” is a standalone spy thriller that is both unnerving and poignant yet also has laugh-out-loud moments. It is the breathtaking secret history that Slough House fans have been waiting for.
Two years ago, a hostile prime minister launched the Monochrome inquiry, which aimed to investigate “historical over-reaching” by the British Secret Service. Griselda Fleet and Malcolm Kyle, two civil servants seconded to the project, were given unfettered access to all confidential information in the Service archives to ferret any hint of misconduct by any MI5 officer.
However, MI5’s formidable First Desk did not become Britain’s top spy by accident, and she has successfully thwarted the inquiry at every turn. The administration that created Monochrome has been ousted, and the investigation is a total bust. Griselda and Malcolm are stuck watching as the pounding London rain washes away their career prospects.
On the eve of Monochrome’s shuttering, an MI5 case file appears without explanation. It is the buried history of a classified operation in 1994 Berlin, which ended in tragedy and scandal, whose cover-up has rewritten thirty years of Service history.
The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Regarding gifts made this month, I will match dollar for dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.
I receive a commission when you buy a book or product using a link on this page. Thank you for supporting Sharing Jan’s Love blog.
by Amy Jo Burns
Today, I started reading Mercury: A Novel about a roofing family. The family’s bond of loyalty is tested when they uncover a long-hidden secret at the heart of their blue-collar town. The book is written by Amy Jo Burns, the author of the critically acclaimed novel Shiner, which I read and enjoyed in 2022. I highly recommend it.
The story is set in 1990, and it follows the journey of a seventeen-year-old girl named Marley West, who arrives in the river valley town of Mercury, Pennsylvania. She is a loner who is looking for a place to belong. The first thing she sees when she gets to town is three men standing on a rooftop, and they soon become her whole world.
Marley becomes a young wife to one of the Joseph brothers, The One Who Got Away to another, and an adopted mother to all of them. Marley guides these unruly men as their mother fades away and their roofing business crumbles under the weight of their unwieldy father’s inflated ego. Years later, an eerie discovery in the church attic causes old wounds to resurface, and suddenly, the family’s survival hangs in the balance.
With Marley as their guide, the Joseph brothers must decide whether they can save the family they’ve always known or build something more substantial in its place.
The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Regarding gifts made this month, I will match dollar for dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.
I receive a commission when you buy a book or product using a link on this page. Thank you for supporting Sharing Jan’s Love blog.
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by Shelby Van Pelt
Today, I recommended reading “Remarkably Bright Creatures” by Shelby Van Pelt. It’s a charming, witty, and compulsively readable exploration of friendship, reckoning, and hope. The novel traces the unlikely connection of a widow with a giant Pacific octopus, making it perfect for fans of “A Man Called Ove.” Shelby Van Pelt’s debut novel is a gentle reminder that sometimes, looking at the past can help uncover a future that once felt impossible.
The story follows Tova Sullivan, who works the night shift at the Sowell Bay Aquarium after her husband dies. Tova has been coping with loss since her eighteen-year-old son, Erik, mysteriously vanished on a boat in Puget Sound over thirty years ago.
While at the aquarium, Tova becomes acquainted with Marcellus, a grumpy giant Pacific octopus who refuses to cooperate with his human captors. However, Marcellus forms a remarkable friendship with Tova and helps her uncover the truth about her son’s disappearance.
As a detective, Marcellus uses his invertebrate body to deduce what happened when Tova’s son disappeared. Together, they embark on a journey to unearth the truth before it’s too late.
The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.
I receive a commission when you buy a book or product using a link on this page. Thank you for supporting Sharing Jan’s Love blog.
by Sarah Bernstein
Today I began reading “Study for Obedience” by Sarah Bernstein. With a robust and lyrical voice, Bernstein thoughtfully examines themes of complicity, power, displacement, and inheritance. “Study for Obedience” is a finely-tuned and unsettling novel that establishes Bernstein as one of the most exciting voices of her generation.
A woman moves to her forebears’ remote northern home to be a housekeeper for her brother, whose wife left him. After arriving, strange events occur bovine hysteria, a ewe’s death, a dog’s phantom pregnancy, and potato blight. Suspicion towards newcomers seems directed at her, and she feels threatened. The hostility grows, and she fears what might happen.
The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.
I receive a commission when you buy a book or product using a link on this page. Thank you for supporting Sharing Jan’s Love blog.
by Timothy Egan
The Immortal Irishman: The Irish Revolutionary Who Became an American Hero by Timothy Egan is a book I started reading as The Worst Hard Timesincluded the first fifty pages.
I often only read a few pages and then return the book to the e-library. The Immortal Irishman was not the case, and I could not stop reading and borrowed the book immediately.
I had never heard of Thomas Francis Meagher or his life in Ireland or America. The story was fascinating, unique, and essential.
The Irish-American story, with all its twists and triumphs, is told through the improbable life of one man. A dashing young orator during the Great Famine of the 1840s, in which a million of his Irish countrymen died, Thomas Francis Meagher led a failed uprising against British rule, for which he was banished to a Tasmanian prison colony. He escaped and six months later was heralded in the streets of New York – the revolutionary hero, back from the dead, at the dawn of the great Irish immigration to America.
Meagher’s rebirth in America included his leading the newly formed Irish Brigade from New York in many of the fiercest battles of the Civil War – Bull Run, Antietam, Fredericksburg. Twice shot from his horse while leading charges, left for dead in the Virginia mud, Meagher’s dream was that Irish-American troops, seasoned by war, would return to Ireland and liberate their homeland from British rule.
The hero’s last chapter, as territorial governor of Montana, was a romantic quest for a true home in the far frontier. His death has long been a mystery to which Egan brings haunting, colorful new evidence.
I recommend this book.
by Mary Ellen Taylor
The Brighter the Light by Mary Ellen Taylor was my eighty-ninth book since the beginning of 2019. After reading about Thomas Cromwell, I needed a change of pace. With the start of the Hurricane season, it seemed as good a time as any to read a novel by a fellow Southerner. That the book is also an “evocative dual-timeline novel detailing one woman’s journey to discover the hidden stories of her family’s seaside resort” seemed a perfect match.
I highly recommend this book. As a Southerner, I found the revealing of the hidden secrets accomplished in a style that makes this a page-turner.
The Goodreads summary provides an overview.
When a shipwreck surfaces, old secrets are sure to follow.
Or so goes the lore in Ivy Neale’s hometown of Nags Head, North Carolina. When Ivy inherits her family’s beachfront cottage upon her grandmother’s death, she knows returning to Nags Head means facing the best friend and the boyfriend who betrayed her years ago.
But then a winter gale uncovers the shipwreck of local legend—and Ivy soon begins to stumble across more skeletons in the closet than just her own. Amid the cottage’s clutter are clues from her grandmother’s past at the enchanting seaside resort her family once owned. One fateful summer in 1950, the arrival of a dazzling singer shook the staff and guests alike—and not everyone made it to fall.
As Ivy contends with broken relationships and a burgeoning romance in the present, the past threatens to sweep her away. But as she uncovers the strength of her grandmother and the women who came before her, she realizes she is like the legendary shipwreck: the sands may shift around her, but she has found her home here by the sea.
When you buy a book or product using a link on this page, I receive a commission. Thank you for supporting Sharing Jan’s Love blog.
Dragony Rising: A Frank Nagler Novel by Michael Stephen Daigle is the fifth and best Frank Nagler Novel.
Like many of us living in the Garden State, Detective Frank Nagler has seen his hometown of Ironton, NJ, undergo many changes over the past several years. Although I want to believe the level of scandal in Ironton is more fictional than typical. The author describes the scandals within the city’s government, the stench of its corruption embedded deep, rivaling the dank stagnant stench emanating from the old bog just outside town.
From the opening sentence, Dragony Rising was a page-turner. Every time I thought I could put the book down, it beckoned me to keep reading.
I highly recommend this book, especially if you like mysteries with a unique New Jersey focus. My only recommendation would be for the series to be named the Lauren Fox/Frank Nagler novels. Lauren is as much the brains of the operation as Frank.
I have read several Frank Nagler novels-A Game Called Dead, The Swamps of Jersey-and have been waiting for this one to be published.
The author’s summary provides a good overview.
Detective Frank Nagler is recalled from medical leave to lead an investigation into the bombing.
He finds a shadowy organization called The Dragony, whose roots go back to the early days of Ironton’s manufacturing and mining history, a history involving Nagler’s family in strange ways.
He also finds a decades-old conspiracy designed not just to enrich the Dragony leaders but to threaten the existence of Ironton itself.
The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.
I receive a commission when you buy a book or product using a link on this page. Thank you for supporting Sharing Jan’s Love blog.
by Atul Gawande
Before departing for Toronto to celebrate our 44th Wedding Anniversary, I went through the e-library. Everything on my list that I wanted to read was not available except for this book. Being Mortal by Atul Gawande is the book I read on our vacation before Jan’s diagnosis of non-Hodgkins Large B cell Lymphoma.
Selecting Being Mortal might seem an accidental choice to some, and I believe it was a divine intervention. It prepared me to be a caregiver to my wife over the nineteen months of her fight with cancer. It helped me focus on the good life that my wife lived and not the pain and suffering.
Atul Gawande describes his book as “riveting, honest, and humane, Being Mortal shows that the ultimate goal is not a good death but a good life – all the way to the very end.”
When I read the book, I wondered what I could have done to help my mother in her final years. The book provides an excellent overview of how nursing homes and assisted living have not been able to meet the needs of the residents.
He reminds us that “when it comes to the inescapable realities of aging and death, what medicine can do often runs counter to what it should.” As he writes in the book, the current system does not work and, in many cases, actually shortens life.
This book has had a lasting impact on my life. It allowed me to be a loving caregiver to my wife when she needed it more than anything else. I read it when it would be most beneficial to me.
I highly recommend this book.
The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.
I receive a commission when you buy a book or product using a link on this page. Thank you for supporting Sharing Jan’s Love.
by V.E. Schwab
The Invisible Life of Addie LaRue by V.E. Schwab is a page-turner, and one of the rare books I have read that I wish had not ended. On the last page, I wanted the story of Addie to continue now that she had modified her deal with the dark side to save Henry Strauss. It was not that I wished Addie and Henry to reunite; it was to see how Addie’s life with Luc would continue. I recommend this book without any reservations!
Both Jan and I have always enjoyed books and movies about time travel. One of the first books I read after Jan died was The Time Travelers Wife, and now I am reading another book about time travel. If I could travel back in time, I would love to spend tens of thousands of days with her again.
But time travel is not possible. Or is it? Her spirit returns to me whenever I am paralyzed, encouraging me to dust myself off and keep going. Maybe one day we will travel together!
The Goodreads summary includes an overview.
France, 1714: in a moment of desperation, a young woman makes a Faustian bargain to live forever and is cursed to be forgotten by everyone she meets.
Thus begins the extraordinary life of Addie LaRue and a dazzling adventure that will play out across centuries and continents, across history and art, as a young woman learns how far she will go to leave her mark on the world.
But everything changes when, after nearly 300 years, Addie stumbles across a young man in a hidden bookstore, and he remembers her name.
I receive a commission when you buy a book or product using a link on this page. Thank you for supporting Sharing Jan’s Love blog.
