Richard W. Brown

Stream of Consciousness!

My random thoughts on Jan, love, grief, life, and all things considered.

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Western Lane: A Novel

Western Lane: A Novel

Western Lane: A Novel by Chetna Maroo is a taut, enthralling first novel about grief, sisterhood, and a young athlete's struggle to transcend herself. Western Lane is about three sisters who have lost their mother. Their father is encouraged to provide structure in raising his daughters. Gopi, the narrator, is a squash player, and her father imposes a brutal training regimen. I highly recommend this novel!

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My Shrinking Waist Line

Honey, I Have Shrunk!

My Shrinking Waistline

Jan and Richard Watch Solar EclipseJan and Richard Watch Solar Eclipse

“Richard, we both know you are not good at shopping.”

“I am sure I am not as good as you are, but I think I can buy blue jeans.”

Twenty-two months since Jan died, I can hear her voice as clearly as I did the first time she spoke to me.

Two weeks after she died, I did go solo shopping and purchased two pairs of blue jeans.

They had a waist measurement of 38 and felt comfortable.

By the fall, they were too loose not to wear without a belt.

After a year, they looked like Jan was correct that I could not shop. The jeans hung loose and baggy.

Today, I purchased two new pairs of blue jeans on my own. This time my waist was 34!

They fit as if my body was poured into them. I can wear them without a belt!

By walking every day, I am aware I am approximately thirty-five pounds lighter, but I never knew my waist had shrunk from 38 to 34!

Would Jan recognize me today? I am confident she would because Jan’s spirit is still with me, as our love will never die!


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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These Feet Were Made for Walking

On Friday, the temperature for my morning walk was 55 degrees Fahrenheit.

Today was the polar opposite.

The reading on my Weather app was 5 Fahrenheit (-15 Celsius). With the wind, it felt like -13 Fahrenheit (-25 Celsius).

Yesterday, I walked 7.26 miles. Today I could only go 4.34 miles as nature, exacerbated by the cold, made an urgent call.

Filing Status Single?

Filing Status Single?

“I am preparing my taxes this month. After I file, we should discuss next year and how to manage my charity donations.”

My financial planner nodded as she took a moment longer than I expected to respond.

“Richard, that sounds good. Are you filing as widowed again this year?”

“No, TurboTax recommended my only option was to file as single. They asked when Jan died, but single was the only option.”

We discussed how the IRS allowed widows two years to file with that status.

I said I would double-check with TurborTax, and she responded, “I will check with our tax experts.”


Today, I filed my federal and state returns as a single person.

In an age of gender fluidity, it seems odd that someone like me, who still believes he is married, has to file as single.

For the record, I am not asking for an extra deduction, albeit I am sure many widows could be crucial to their financial health.

Checking the filing status box as a single person in the second year after Jan died is like having a heavy door slammed in your face.

Medical visits are also awkward when they ask me to update my records.

But filing taxes as a single person for the first time since 1974, the year before Jan and I married, was a harsh reminder of widowhood in the second year.

Has my life been so drained by Jan’s death that I am now only a checkbox on a form?

No, I am more than a widow; I am a husband, father, grandfather, advocate, good neighbor, friend, and Jew, among many attributes that define me.


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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Being a Widow Does Not Define Me

One of the nine books I have read this year was We Are All the Same in the Dark by Julia Heaberlin.

The novel is one I highly recommend and wish I had read earlier. The title summarizes the reality of all humans, that in the dark we are all the same.

In this twisty psychological thriller, Julia Heaberlin paints two unforgettable portraits of a woman and a girl who redefines perceptions of physical beauty and strength. Her novel has helped me redefine my grief.

Disabilities do not define us, just as being a widow does not define who I am.

Life and Love Are About Giving!

Life and Love Are About Giving!

I walked at a sluggish pace iOscar and Jann the morning slush

Snowblowers were far, and few between as the removal was primarily scrapping the remnants of our first snowfall to the curb.

Passing a man my age diligently sweeping his driveway of snow, I stopped to chat with him.

“I thought we would have snow earlier this season.”

“It could have been worse,” I responded.

“I hope it is the first and last storm, as tomorrow is March.”

It was beautiful watching it fall. Each snowflake is unique and complex, but together, the flakes can cover the ground and, when it melts, provide water for our gardens.

Wishing my neighbor a good day, I continued my perambulation.

As I entered Hanson Park, I had an epiphany as I looked at the snow-covered wind sculpture.

Jan told me numerous times, “Life and love aren’t about what you gain but what you give.

By sharing Jan’s love, I can help my neighbors; what they gain will improve our community forever.


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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Giving Tuesday Should be Every Day!

My inbox and text messages are overflowing with appeals for #GivingTuesday donations.

I respond to as many as possible with as much as I can afford.

If only I had the resources to respond generously to help those who help others.

Jan and I automated most of our donations so that we provide support monthly.

Every donation helps to repair the world.

We Are All At Risk of Falling

We Are All At Risk of Falling

I was on the second landing of the stairs to the Raritan Valley Train Station in Cranford.

Ahead of me was a younger woman with a large bag on her left shoulder and a smaller purse on her right.

Sans bags, I was moving faster and moved to the center of the stairwell.

A few steps behind her, I could see she had reached into her purse, and her body was leaning backward.

With only moments to react, I moved behind her and placed my arm on her upper back.

It felt as if we both might lose our balance for a moment.

Regaining our footing, we made it to the platform.

“Thank you so much. I should have waited to answer my phone.”

“I am glad I could help.”

She began running to catch her train.

“Have a nice day,” I called out to her.

Slowing her pace as she approached the open door, she responded, “That is so nice!”

On my recent morning walks, I have made a detour to prepare for the Big Climb and used the three-level set of stairs to the train station.

Most days, I climb the stairs to the train to Raritan as the platform is emptier. Today, I went up to the platform for the train to Newark.

My neighbor might have been able to regain her balance, but life is fragile, and she might have fallen down the stairs. Or we might have both lost our balance.

Fortunately, we lived to tell the tale.

Life is short, and we have to help each other.

On April 22nd, I will climb twenty-six stories for Jan, as I’m stepping up to take cancer down, and you can help me ensure that one day, no one will have to die from leukemia and lymphoma!


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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I Will Climb for Jan on April 22nd!

On April 22nd, two days before Jan's birthday, I am joining The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society (LLS) in the fight to cure blood cancers by participating in Big Climb NJ!

I have accepted the challenge of climbing 26 flights of stairs to the top of One Gateway Center and raising critical funds for blood cancer research and patient support.

I'm stepping up to take cancer down, and you can help me ensure that one day no one will have to die from leukemia and lymphoma!

I Have Some Questions for You:

I Have Some Questions for You

I Have Some Questions for You by Rebecca Makkai is a book that, from page one, pulled me into the story and made me believe I was embedded with Bodie Kane as she returned to her boarding school and worked with students to review the murder of her roommate twenty-three years ago. I Have Some Questions for You was more than a page-turner as I was an unnamed participant. I highly recommend this book and, as Ms. Makkai does, buy it at an independent bookstore.

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Jewish Disability Awareness, Acceptance, and Inclusion Month

Let Go and Let Live!

Don't Hide It, Flaunt It

“Music makes me proud as I share it and bring joy to others,” the student cantor said in answer to the proud portion of the Peacock exercise.

“I am proud of my daughter-in-law,” answered the presenter’s mother, a Temple Sha’arey Shalom member.

Taking the exercise seriously, I responded, “Faith, love, and commitment to repairing the world.”

“Are you a Beatles fan? It sounds like all you need is love,” was the response.

“Maybe I should have said Imagine?”


The Peacock exercise was a part of Meg Zucker’s presentation for Jewish Disability Awareness, Acceptance, and Inclusion Month at Congregation Beth Israel in Scotch Plains.

Meg is an attorney and president of Don’t Hide It, Flaunt It, a non-profit.

Her presentation was powerful and inspiring.

Meg made several key points.

  • We thwart kindness by complaining about those who offer help if we do not need or want it.
  • What you think of me is none of your business. We must achieve unconditional self-love and focus on becoming the best person we can be.
  • We need to find people who are not like us but feel like us because of their version of what makes them who they are.

I might be a widow, Meg may have been born with the ectrodactyly, but we are all the same in the dark.

I left the event more assertive and committed to helping to build an inclusive world.

I have added her book Born Extraordinary: Empowering Children with Differences and Disabilities to my to-read list. It will be released on March 7, 2023.


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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I receive a commission when you buy a book or product using a link on this page. Thank you for supporting Sharing Jan’s Love blog.



We Are All the Same in the Dark

We Are All the Same in the Dark

We Are All the Same in the Dark by Julia Heaberlin is a novel I highly recommend and wish I had read earlier. The title summarizes the reality of all humans, that in the dark we are all the same. Disabilities do not define us, just as being a widow does not define who I am. In this twisty psychological thriller, Julia Heaberlin paints two unforgettable portraits of a woman and a girl who redefine perceptions of physical beauty and strength. Her novel has helped me redefine my grief.

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The Jan Lilien Education Fund!

Western Lane: A Novel

Read: March 2023

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Western Lane: A Novel

by Chetna Maroo

Western Lane: A Novel by Chetna Maroo is a taut, enthralling first novel about grief, sisterhood, and a young athlete’s struggle to transcend herself. Western Lane is about three sisters who have lost their mother. Their father is encouraged to provide structure in raising his daughters. Gopi, the narrator, is a squash player, and her father imposes a brutal training regimen. I highly recommend this novel!

The following passage explains the importance of squash to Gopi and how she views the world.

In the court, your mind is not only on the shot you’re about to play and the shot with which your opponent might reply, but on the shots that will follow two, three, four moves ahead. You’re watching your opponent’s position and the game he or she is playing, making calculations. This is how you choose which way to go. Though your mind is following several paths at once, it’s not a splitting but expansion forwards and backward in time, and it happens so quickly that it feels like instinct. Sometimes, you don’t even know you are thinking.

In the first few pages, I wondered what I would have done if I had been a single parent when my sons were young. I do not believe I would have imposed on my sons what Gopi’s father did to her. However, I have found reading and art to be powerful tools to help me cope with grief. I have focused on rituals, structure, and purpose.

The Goodreads summary provides an overview,

Eleven-year-old Gopi has been playing squash since she was old enough to hold a racket. When her mother dies, her father enlists her in a quietly brutal training regimen, and the game becomes her world. Slowly, she grows apart from her sisters. Her life is reduced to the sport, guided by its rhythms: the serve, the volley, the drive, the shot, and its echo.

But on the court, she is not alone. She is with her pa. She is with Ged, a thirteen-year-old boy with formidable talent. She is with the players who have come before her. She is in awe.

An indelible coming-of-age story, Chetna Maroo’s first novel captures the ordinary and annihilates it with beauty. Western Lane is a valentine to innocence, to the closeness of sisterhood, to the strange ways we know ourselves and each other.


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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I receive a commission when you buy a book or product using a link on this page. Thank you for supporting Sharing Jan’s Love blog.



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My Shrinking Waist Line
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Filing Status Single?
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Life and Love Are About Giving!
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We Are All At Risk of Falling
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I Have Some Questions for You:

Read: February 2023

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I Have Some Questions for You

by Rebecca Makkai

I Have Some Questions for You by Rebecca Makkai is a book that, from page one, pulled me into the story and made me believe I was embedded with Bodie Kane as she returned to her boarding school and worked with students to review the murder of her roommate twenty-three years ago. I Have Some Questions for You was more than a page-turner as I was an unnamed participant. I highly recommend this book and, as Ms. Makkai does, buy it at an independent bookstore.

I had not heard of the book until I read a review in The New Yorker by Katty Waldman, who writes, “The new book, a murder mystery set at an élite boarding school, is being marketed as an irresistible whodunnit. But it also joins a growing number of critiques of true crime.” Once I finished the review, I ordered the book and did not put it down until I finished the novel.

Do not “read this book if you”are looking for a whodunnit. It is a critique of true crime and an assessment of the “me too” era. How do we judge the past by the standards of the present?

Every book I have read since Jan died is one I wanted to discuss with her. But I Have Some Questions is one that would have been helpful for both of us to read simultaneously and share our thoughts. Jan’s work with the YWCA of Union County’s Domestic Violence program would have given her a unique perspective. But my lifetime efforts to free me from male blindness would have been a good counterpoint.

Please read this book, share it, and discuss it.

The Goodreads summary provides an overview,

A successful film professor and podcaster, Bodie Kane is content to forget her past—the family tragedy that marred her adolescence, her four largely miserable years at a New Hampshire boarding school, and her former roommate, Thalia Keith, in the spring of their senior year. Though the circumstances surrounding Thalia’s murder and the conviction of the school’s trainer, Omar Evans, are online, Bodie prefers—needs—to let sleeping dogs lie.

But when the Granby School invites her back to teach a course, Bodie is inexorably drawn to the case and its increasingly apparent flaws. As she falls down the rabbit hole she was so determined to avoid, Bodie begins to wonder if she wasn’t an outsider at Granby as she’d thought, perhaps, back in 1995, she knew something that might have held the key to solving the case. In their rush to convict Omar, did the school and the police overlook other suspects? Is the real killer still out there?

In I Have Some Questions for You, award-winning author Rebecca Makkai has crafted her most irresistible novel yet: a stirring investigation, timely, hypnotic, and populated with a cast of unforgettable characters, I Have Some Questions for You is at once a compulsive page-turner and a literary triumph.


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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I receive a commission when you buy a book or product using a link on this page. Thank you for supporting Sharing Jan’s Love blog.


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We Are All the Same in the Dark

Read: January 2023

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We Are All the Same in the Dark

by Julia Heaberlin

We Are All the Same in the Dark by Julia Heaberlin is a novel I highly recommend and wish I had read earlier. The title summarizes the reality of all humans, that in the dark we are all the same. Disabilities do not define us, just as being a widow does not define who I am. In this twisty psychological thriller, Julia Heaberlin paints two unforgettable portraits of a woman and a girl who redefine perceptions of physical beauty and strength. Her novel has helped me redefine my grief.

I have been a widow for almost twenty-one months. After a trauma of that magnitude, it is easier to let the widowed state define me. But I am more than just a widow! But I am a father, grandfather, friend, neighbor, advocate, and more. Reading We Are All the Same in the Dark helped me embrace myself and not wallow in widowhood.

The novel begins with the discovery of a girl abandoned by the side of the road who threatens to unearth the long-buried secrets of a Texas town’s legendary cold case. In the first section, I was still determining if I wanted to continue. Once I read about Odette Tucker and Angel, it became a page-turner. 

This line from Odette given to Angelica, aka Angel, summarizes the characteristics that each of us should live by.

Tender. Resilient. Strong. Resourceful. Kind. Empathetic.—Six words Marshall Tucker wrote on a piece of paper to describe his daughter, Odette.

As a mensch-in-training, I will strive to live by those six words.

We are truly all the same in the dark.

We Are All the Same in the Dark is the ninth book I read this year.

The Goodreads summary provides an overview,

It’s been a decade since Trumanell Branson disappeared, leaving only a bloody handprint behind. Her pretty face still hangs like a watchful queen on the posters on the walls of the town’s Baptist church, the police station, and the high school. They all promise the same thing: We will find you. Meanwhile, her brother, Wyatt, lives as a pariah in the desolation of the old family house, cleared of wrongdoing by the police but tried and sentenced in the court of public opinion and a new documentary about the crime.

When Wyatt finds a lost girl dumped in a field of dandelions, making silent wishes, he believes she is a sign. The town’s youngest cop, Odette Tucker, believes she is a catalyst that will ignite a seething town still waiting for its missing girl to come home. But Odette can’t look away. She shares a wound that won’t close with the mute, one-eyed mystery girl. And she is haunted by her history with the missing Tru.

Desperate to solve both cases, Odette fights to save the lost girl in the present and to dig up the shocking truth about a fateful night in the past–the night her friend disappeared. This night inspired her to become a cop, the night that wrote them all a role in the town’s dark, violent mythology.


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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I receive a commission when you buy a book or product using a link on this page. Thank you for supporting Sharing Jan’s Love blog.



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Jewish Disability Awareness, Acceptance, and Inclusion Month
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Move Like Water: My Story of the Sea

Read: October 2023

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Move Like Water: My Story of the Sea

by Hannah Stowe

I recently started reading a book called “Move Like Water: My Story of the Sea” by Hannah Stowe. It’s a captivating book that immerses you in a world of water, whales, storms, and starlight, allowing you to experience what it’s like to sail for weeks and live life to a new rhythm.

Hannah Stowe, a marine biologist and sailor in her mid-twenties, grew up on the Pembrokeshire coast of Wales, where she fell asleep to the sound of the lighthouse beam. Drawing upon her experiences sailing tens of thousands of miles in various seas, including the North Sea, North Atlantic, Mediterranean, Celtic Sea, and the Caribbean, she explores the human connection to the wild waters. Stowe ponders why she and others are drawn to life at sea and what we can learn from the water around us.

Stowe intertwines her narrative and illustrations with stories of six keystone marine creatures: the fire crow, sperm whale, wandering albatross, humpback whale, shearwater, and barnacle. Through these stories, she invites readers to fall in love with the sea and its inhabitants and to discover the majesty, wonder, and fragility of the underwater world.

If you enjoy the works of Rachel Carson and Annie Dillard, then “Move Like Water: My Story of the Sea” is a must-read. It’s an inspiring and heartfelt tribute to the sea, a testimony to pursuing and achieving a dream, and an unforgettable introduction to a talented new nature writer.


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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I receive a commission when you buy a book or product using a link on this page. Thank you for supporting Sharing Jan’s Love blog.



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The Garden of Letters

Read: June 2021

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The Garden of Letters

by son Richman

The Garden of Letters by Alyson Richman was one of the first books I read after Jan died. It was the perfect love story to read after the loss of the love of my life. The love Jan and I shared was because we shared a portion of the soul of the other, and thus we were meant for each other from day one. 

The two primary characters – Elodie Bertolotti and Angelo Rosselli – resonated with me as they were also people who shared souls. The book “captures the hope, suspense, and romance of an uncertain era, in an epic intertwining story of first love, great tragedy, and spectacular bravery.

As I turned every page, the story filled my heart with love and happiness as it reminded me of the love that Jan and I shared.

Portofino, Italy, 1943. A young woman steps off a boat in a scenic coastal village. Although she knows how to disappear in a crowd, Elodie is too terrified to slip by the German officers while carrying her poorly forged identity papers. She is frozen until a man she’s never met before claims to know her. In desperate need of shelter, Elodie follows him back to his home on the cliffs of Portofino.

Only months before, Elodie Bertolotti was a cello prodigy in Verona, unconcerned with world events. But when Mussolini’s Fascist regime strikes her family, Elodie is drawn into the burgeoning resistance movement by Luca, a young and passionate bookseller. As the occupation looms, she discovers that her unique musical talents, and her courage, have the power to save lives.

In Portofino, young doctor Angelo Rosselli gives the frightened and exhausted girl sanctuary. He is a man with painful secrets of his own, haunted by guilt and remorse. But Elodie’s arrival has the power to awaken a sense of hope that Angelo thought was lost to him forever.

I not only recommend this book, but I am also looking forward to reading more of her novels.

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Reluctantly Home

Read: June 2022

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Reluctantly Home

by Imogen Clark

Reluctantly Home by Imogen Clark is about dealing with the past—and finally facing the future-a topic that was appealing to me. Thirteen months into my grief journey, I live between a perfect past and an unknowable future. Will Reluctantly Home by Imogen Clark help me manage these two worlds?

Surprisingly it did. Unlike the two protagonists, I am mourning losing Jan, the love of my life. However, the neuromapping in my brain made it impossible to understand how to continue to love Jan and separate that from the time and space connections that made me believe she would return at any moment.

Reluctantly Home by Imogen Clark helped me understand that grief should and cannot define us forever. I recommend this book to all readers, not only those on a grief journey like mine.

The Goodreads summary provides an overview.

Pip Appleby seems to have it all, with her prestigious job as a human rights lawyer and her enviable London home. But then a tragic accident stops her life in its tracks, and everything changes instantly. Retreating to her family’s rural farm and the humble origins she has been trying to hide, Pip is haunted by what she has done.

When she discovers the diary of actress Evelyn Mountcastle in a box of old books, Pip revels in the opportunity to lose herself in someone else’s life rather than focus on the disaster that is her own. But soon, she sees parallels—Evelyn’s life was also beset by tragedy, and, like Pip, she returned to Southwold under a dark cloud.

When Pip and Evelyn’s paths cross in real life, they slowly begin to reveal the hidden stories holding them back. Can they help each other forgive what happened in the past and, perhaps, find happiness in the future?


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The Cemetery of Untold Stories

Read: April 2024

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The Cemetery of Untold Stories

by Julia Alvarez

Today, I began reading Julia Alvarez‘s novel “The Cemetery of Untold Stories.” The book explores whose stories deserve to be told and whose should remain buried. In the end, Alma, the main character, finds meaning in the power of storytelling. Julia Alvarez reminds us that our stories are never truly finished, even at the end.

Alma Cruz, a famous writer, doesn’t want to suffer the same fate as her friend, who became mentally unstable after struggling to finish a book. So, when Alma inherits a small plot of land in her native Dominican Republic, she turns it into a cemetery for her unfinished stories. She hopes her characters will finally be able to rest in peace.

However, they have other ideas and soon begin to rewrite and revise themselves, even talking and interacting with one another. Fortunately, Filomena, a local woman hired as the groundskeeper, becomes a listener to Alma’s characters’ secret tales. These tales include those of Bienvenida, the abandoned wife of dictator Rafael Trujillo, who was erased from official history, and Manuel Cruz, a doctor who fought in the Dominican underground and escaped to the United States.

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Roses, in the Mouth of a Lion

Read: January 2023

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Roses, in the Mouth of a Lion

by Bushra Rehman

Roses, in the Mouth of a Lion by Bushra Rehman is a book I encouraged friends to read before I finished reading it. I highly recommend this page-turner novel, which is punctuated by both joy and loss, full of ’80s music and beloved books. Roses, in the Mouth of a Lion is a must-read coming-of-age story of Razia Mirza, a girl struggling to reconcile her heritage and faith with her desire to be true to herself.

Razia Mirza, the protagonist, leaps off the page or screen. Bushra Rehman describes Corona with prose that is vibrant and clear-eyed. When I lived in Brooklyn, I had, on a few occasions, meetings in Corona a decade before the novel’s setting. Reading the book made me remember that time and place and understand intuitively the world that Razia was struggling to reconcile.

Razia’s choice between her heart and her family is one I will not reveal. However, the novel defines the conflicts between the Pakistani-American community and the love that Razia and Anglea experience in clear prose, and the reader can easily accept various resolutions.

The choice that Rasia makes left me desiring to know what happens next. I have added Bushra Rehman to my favorite authors and plan to read more of her novels.

I had this novel on my list for the last month but could not get to it until now. I wish I had read it sooner. It is the eighth book I have read in 2023.

The Goodreads summary provides an overview,

Razia Mirza grows up amid the wild grape vines and backyard sunflowers of Corona, Queens, with her best friend, Saima, by her side. Razia’s heart is broken when a family rift drives the girls apart. She finds solace in Taslima, a new girl in her close-knit Pakistani-American community. They embark on a series of small rebellions: listening to scandalous music, wearing miniskirts, and cutting school to explore the city.

When Razia is accepted to Stuyvesant, a prestigious high school in Manhattan, the gulf between the person she is and the daughter her parents want her to be, widens. At Stuyvesant, Razia meets Angela and is attracted to her in a way that blossoms into a new understanding. When an Aunty discovers their relationship in the community, Razia must choose between her family and her future.


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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I receive a commission when you buy a book or product using a link on this page. Thank you for supporting Sharing Jan’s Love blog.



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On the Rooftop: A Novel

Read: November 2022

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On the Rooftop: A Novel

by Margaret Wilkerson Sexton

On the Rooftop: A Novel by Margaret Wilkerson Sexton, is a stunning novel about a mother whose dream of musical stardom for her three daughters collides with the daughters’ ambitions for their own lives—set against the backdrop of gentrifying 1950s San Francisco. The first few pages moved glacially and then the story unfolded fully and became a page-turner that I highly recommend.

After hearing Ms. Sexton’s interview on Get Lit with All Of It, a monthly on-air, social media, in-person, and live-stream book club hosted by Alison Stewart of WNYC’s All Of It, I picked up the book. The novel had been on my to-read list.

The novel was loosely based on Fiddler on the Roof and it worked exceedingly well. Vivian is the overbearing mother and the daughters who have their own dreams and goals. With urban renewal, AKA Urban Renewal, as the backdrop, the novel was one that I could not put down.

The small section of the song that Esther writes so she can sing for her people, was a song I wish I could hear in its entirety. That Chole choose to sing it for final audition made it even more powerful.

You put words to the music inside my heart You showed me the world could be its own art I’d never felt myself so whole before I’d never known how much I could reach for.

The Goodreads summary provides an overview,

At home they are just sisters, but on stage, they are The Salvations. Ruth, Esther, and Chloe have been singing and dancing in harmony since they could speak. Thanks to the rigorous direction of their mother, Vivian, they’ve become a bona fide girl group whose shows are the talk of the Jazz-era Fillmore.

Now Vivian has scored a once-in-a-lifetime offer from a talent manager, who promises to catapult The Salvations into the national spotlight. Vivian knows this is the big break she’s been praying for. But sometime between the hours of rehearsal on their rooftop and the weekly gigs at the Champagne Supper Club, the girls have become women, women with dreams that their mother cannot imagine.

The neighborhood is changing, too: all around the Fillmore, white men in suits are approaching Black property owners with offers. One sister finds herself called to fight back, one falls into the comfort of an old relationship, and another yearns to make her voice heard. And Vivian, who has always maintained control, will have to confront the parts of her life that threaten to splinter: the community, The Salvations, and even her family.


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