My sixtieth book this year, The Rabbit Hutch, was a page-turner that I highly recommend. The Rabbit Hutch by Tess Gunty is a debut novel that won the 2022 National Book Award for fiction. It is a novel about four teenagers—recently aged out of the state foster-care system—living together in an apartment building in the post-industrial Midwest, exploring the quest for transcendence and the desire for love.
Stream of Consciousness!
My random thoughts on Jan, love, grief, life, and all things considered.
Lighting the Night to Cure Lymphoma
Last night, the Light the Night event was held in Verona Park, Verona, NJ, and I walked in memory of Jan to help find a cure for lymphoma and leukemia.
As the hundreds of walkers collectively did the countdown to commence the walk, I wept as I wanted Jan with me as a survivor so I could walk with her as her caregiver.
Although I walked alone, Jan was with me.
Together we walked to cure blood cancers so no one would die from lymphoma one day.
Light The Night supports The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society‘s mission to cure blood cancers and improve the quality of life for patients and their families. Their most significant community event joins patients, survivors, and supporters to bring light to the darkness of cancer.
Additional Light the Night Walks, will be held the next two Saturdays in NJ.
The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.
I receive a commission when you buy a book or product using a link on this page. Thank you for supporting Sharing Jan’s Love.
Wind Sculpture Installation October 24th!
Starting on Monday, October 24th, the contractor will begin the installation of the Wind Sculpture for Jan’s Memorial Triangle Garden at Hanson Park.
It is a true blessing as this is precisely six months since her birthday and the celebration of her life.
I cried tears of joy when I heard the news!
But there is no shame in weeping; as Viktor Frankl said, “there was no need to be ashamed of tears, for tears bore witness that a man had the greatest of courage, the courage to suffer. Only very few realized that.”
A good friend reminded me that “if there are no tears. There was no love.
As the sun set outside my window last night, I felt the peace and joy of Shabbat Shalom!
May Jan’s memory would be a blessing for all of us.
My heart and soul are full of love for Jan and always will be.
The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.
I receive a commission when you buy a book or product using a link on this page. Thank you for supporting Sharing Jan’s Love.
Forever Grateful for Family and Friends
Being a widow is the most challenging journey that anyone will ever travel.
In a flash, we learned who we can count on to love and support us when we need it more than ever.
My immediate family is the core of my support team.
However, as Melissa Kirsch wrote in the NY Times, “Chosen families are created outside the structures of (and often in place of) the traditional nuclear family.”
My chosen family includes:
- My Rabbi,
- Temple members,
- Neighbors,
- Friends and
- My Hanson Park freinds.
In addition, an essential component of my chosen family has been my fellow widows.
None of us would have ever chosen to be a widow. But, having become a widow, we have developed a priceless bond of friendship.
As Workingwomen.com wrote,
Family is more than blood and a name. The people stood by you when you needed them and made you laugh when you felt like you couldn’t.
I will forever be grateful to my chosen family.
They have filled a portion, but not all, of the hole in my heart.
Jan’s never-ending love fills the balance.
The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.
I receive a commission when you buy a book or product using a link on this page. Thank you for supporting Sharing Jan’s Love.
Jan Will Always Be in My Heart!
Jan is still with me and always will be.
Recently I read Evergreen, a book of poetry by Kirsten Robinson.
Albeit a cliche, the book jumped off the shelf and into my hands when I saw it in Hickory & Hill General Store in Cranford.
Many of the poems resonate with me, such as this one.
You are gone now
from me
but not from my heart;
this is where I will carry you
always
this is my promise to you:I will not let sadness
grow weeds in the space
you have left behind-
I will use your laughter
to water the flowers
of your big, big love
they will grow there
filling the empty caverns of my chest
they will grow in wild bundles
of joy and eternal spring
they will grow so much
that I will give some away
to other people I love
and then they, too,
will carry you in their hearts.
My love for Jan will never die!
The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.
I receive a commission when you buy a book or product using a link on this page. Thank you for supporting Sharing Jan’s Love.
Evergreen
Evergreen by Kirsten Robinson is a tribute to the enduring resilience of human nature as we cycle through times of light and darkness, much like nature itself. In her debut book, Kirsten Robinson (@NakedWriting) lays her heart bare in a raw, relatable, and inspirational way to describe the journey of growth born out of finding beauty in breakage and love after loss.
Living Life Without Jan!
Life has been difficult at times but never as rough as it has been since Jan died.
After more than a year, despite improvements, the heartache remains ever-present.
I have learned the activities of daily living alone.
I help others, actively participate in two support groups, read, write, walk, and work to ensure that Jan’s love will never die.
I need to embrace Charlie Brown’s advice,
Life isn’t meant to be easy; it’s meant to be Lived. Sometimes happy other times rough. But with every up and down, you learn lessons that make you strong.
I have focused on Dr. Lois Tonkin‘s research that documents that our only option is to grow around grief, so our grief is a smaller portion of us.
One day at a time, I am learning to live without Jan physically being with me. She will always be in my heart, and our love will never die.
The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.
I receive a commission when you buy a book or product using a link on this page. Thank you for supporting Sharing Jan’s Love.
Evergreen
Evergreen by Kirsten Robinson is a tribute to the enduring resilience of human nature as we cycle through times of light and darkness, much like nature itself. In her debut book, Kirsten Robinson (@NakedWriting) lays her heart bare in a raw, relatable, and inspirational way to describe the journey of growth born out of finding beauty in breakage and love after loss.