Richard W. Brown

Stream of Consciousness!

My random thoughts on Jan, love, grief, life, and all things considered.

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YarnStormers Transform Hanson Park!

YarnStormers Transform Hanson Park!

YarnStormers Transform Hanson Park!YarnStormers, a Cranford group, was founded with the desire to coordinate a group art project that the whole town could enjoy.

Knit the Town” by Yarn Stormers was born! The name is a play on “yarn bombing,” a style of public art graffiti made with yarn. The plan was to have it ready to install on June 11th, International Yarn Bomb Day.

Although the YarnStormers have displayed their artwork throughout Cranford, several are in Hanson Park, the site of Jan’s Memorial Triangle Garden.

Jan’s Garden is waiting on the arrival of the wind sculpture later this month.

Read more about the YarnStormers, and if you have an Instagram/Facebook account, view all the photos.

Click here for more information about the plans for Jan’s living memorial.


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month will be matched dollar-for-dollar by our family. All donations are tax-deductible.

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Breaking Ground for Jan’s Memorial Garden

It has been only three days since we broke ground on the Jan Lilien Memorial Triangle Garden at Hanson Park. The many friends who joined us for the day helped us with love and support. Over the next few months, we will update the garden's work progress.

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Wedding Bliss

August Sharing Jan’s Love Newsletter is Online!

Wedding DaySharing Jan’s Love Newsletter August Issue is Online!

The August issue includes articles on:

Both are stories about our love, faith, and family journey.

Short stream posts on:

  1. Wes is One-Month-Old,
  2. 47th Wedding Anniversary,
  3. No Boxes, Empty Walls,
  4. A Century of Books,
  5. First Move Without Jan,
  6. My Chosen Family
  7. and more.

I have reviewed recent books:

Please consider donating to The Jan Lilien Education Fund, which sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month are matched dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible

Enjoy this issue and share it with anyone who might be interested.


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month are matched dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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I receive a commission when you buy a book or product using a link on this page. Thank you for supporting Sharing Jan’s Love blog.

Sharing Jan’s Love Newsletter July Issue is Online!

The July issue of Sharing Jan's Love includes articles on Planning Our Wedding and Road Trippin in 1973 - both are stories about our love, faith, and family journey.
Jan's Silk Scarf

Life Can Change in a Nanosecond!

Wedding DayThree years ago, Jan and I returned from Toronto, where we had celebrated our forty-fourth wedding anniversary. I purchased a silk scarf for Jan to celebrate our love and marriage.

We were both healthy and happy.

We had gotten Fitbits before the trip and we were so active we walked 20,000 steps or more every day.

On the first day we were home, Jan went to our doctor’s office to secure a medical clearance for cataract surgery.

Neither of us anticipated anything other than quick blood work and approval for surgery.

Later in the week, Jan was called back for more blood work.

Within ten days of our return, we were meeting Dr. Rujuta Saksena, a very professional, personable, and knowledgeable oncologist, who informed us that Jan had blood cancer.

Although I live alone, Jan is still with me. Our love will never die!


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. All donations are tax-deductible.

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I receive a commission when you buy a book or product using a link on this page. Thank you for supporting Sharing Jan’s Love blog.

At the Villa Rose

At the Villa Rose

At the Villa Rose by Major Alfred Edward Woodley Mason, initially published in 1910, is a mystery novel in which Major Mason introduced his French detective, Inspector Hanaud, who was an early template for Agatha Christie's famous Hercule Poirot. Missing jewels, high adventure some one hundred and fifty kilometers from Geneva, a casino, and blind love are all factors in a complex case for Hanaud, which ultimately involves a gang of frightened murderers. If you enjoy deductive mysteries like me, I highly recommend At the Villa Rose.

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Wedding Bliss

Jan Will Always Be the Love of My Life!

Jan's Wedding DressIn the days since I finished reading Aftermirth by Hillary Jordan, I have been thinking about the question posed by the narrator, can we ever know if the love we lost was the love of our life?

When I read the book, and after reflection, my answer is that we can and do know that we lost the love of our lives.

Neil Simon’s play Chapter Two describes how a widow might find happiness with a new partner, but they can never replace the love of our lives.

The essence of the monologue from Michael Larssen, Aftermirth by Hillary Jordan,

You can’t know that he was the love of your life, and do you know why? Because guess what, you aren’t dead yet. You may feel dead right now, and believe me, I’ve been there, but the fact is, until you’re lying under a tombstone of your own, you can’t be sure about anything.

Jan was and always will be the love of my life!

Our love will never die!


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. All donations are tax-deductible.

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All I Ever Needed Was Jan’s Love!

All You Need is Love by The Beatles.

Of course, all I ever needed was Jan's love.

In the 1960s, Jan and I would sing the chorus with the Beatles,

All you need is love. All you need is love. All you need is love, love. Love is all you need.
Until I met Jan, I honestly never understood love. She transformed my life, and my love for her will never die.

Humming the song today, I made a minor adjustment. Now and forever! All I need is Jan's Love

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Final Hugs

Friends Make Life Manageable!

Ana and HugoFriendship is the foundation of a healthy and happy life.

Although I often said I did not have friends before Jan’s lymphoma diagnosis, I have always had friends I could count on and am confident they would come running if I called them.

The mix has changed since Jan died.

Long-term friends have faded away to be replaced by members of a chosen family.

Some, like Ana and Hugo, helped me move.

Others have helped me learn to manage my grief.

Yesterday was a year since the Saturday peer-run grief group started. I now belong to another one on Wednesday.

At Saturday’s group, many members kept thanking me to the point that it was starting to embarrass me.

If I have done anything to help others, it is because of Jan’s love and support.

That has allowed me to continue to do my life’s work of building community.

Our love will never die!


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. All donations are tax-deductible.

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I receive a commission when you buy a book or product using a link on this page. Thank you for supporting Sharing Jan’s Love blog.

Flower Show 2022 With Friends

Jan and I always enjoyed the Philadelphia Flower Show. During hospice, Jan encouraged me to go. I drove to Philly alone but could not attend due to fire and rain; I successfully participated this year with my good friends Ron and Deborah.

Visiting Jan, the Love of my Life!

Visiting Jan, the Love of my Life!

April Showers Set the Stage for Jan's Birthday

Artwork graciously provided by Emi Sato.

Due to the heat wave this year, I visited Jan’s grave two days after our wedding anniversary.

Today’s visit was still hot but bearable compared to Tuesday’s 100-plus temperature.

Our son Mike joined me and assisted me in watering the plants in the mulched gravesite.

Like Jan, the plants have been resilient and survived a hot and dry summer.

Jan’s love is all I ever needed.

Her love transformed my life and made me a better person.

Since Jan’s death, I have worked diligently to keep her name alive.

Among these have been:

Of course, the memories I write about are part of that effort.

Our love will never die!


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. All donations are tax-deductible.

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I receive a commission when you buy a book or product using a link on this page. Thank you for supporting Sharing Jan’s Love blog.

Forty-seventh Wedding Anniversary

Today, August 9, 2022, is forty-seven years since Jan and I married. The memories not only of that day but every day and night of our lives are technicolor movies that play on a loop in my mind. Jan said in her vows, that our love will last as long as “both of us possess […]

The Jan Lilien Education Fund!

YarnStormers Transform Hanson Park!
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Wedding Bliss
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Jan's Silk Scarf
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At the Villa Rose

Read: August 2022

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At the Villa Rose

by Major Alfred Edward Woodley Mason

At the Villa Rose by Major Alfred Edward Woodley Mason, initially published in 1910, is a mystery novel in which Major Mason introduced his French detective, Inspector Hanaud, who was an early template for Agatha Christie’s famous Hercule Poirot. Missing jewels, high adventure some one hundred and fifty kilometers from Geneva, a casino, and blind love are all factors in a complex case for Hanaud, which ultimately involves a gang of frightened murderers. If you enjoy deductive mysteries like me, I highly recommend At the Villa Rose.

The Goodreads summary,

In Aix les Bains during the early 20th century, Celia Harland, a beautiful (of course) young English girl down on her luck, is befriended by a wealthy widow, Madame Dauvray, an addict of “spiritualism,” and stages seances for her benefactrix, while knowing full well that the supposed manifestations from the spirit world are entirely bogus. This set-up supplies the opportunity for a criminal gang master-minded by Madame Dauvray’s maid, with their eyes on the widow’s jewelry collection, to engineer an introduction for one of their numbers, Adele Tacé (“Rossignol”), whose taunts of disbelief goad the old lady into allowing a seance to be held which, unsuspected by either Celia or her patron, will be the cover for murder and robbery.

The crux of the plot is that as a medium, Celia will be made their innocent victim, on whom suspicion is to be planted.


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. All donations are tax-deductible.

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I receive a commission when you buy a book or product using a link on this page. Thank you for supporting Sharing Jan’s Love blog.

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Wedding Bliss
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Final Hugs
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Visiting Jan, the Love of my Life!
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All the Sinners Bleed- A Novel

Read: June 2023

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All the Sinners Bleed: A Novel

by S. A. Cosby

Today, I delved into the gripping pages of “All the Sinners Bleed” by S. A. Cosby. This enthralling novel centers around Titus Crown, the first African American sheriff in Charon County, Virginia. Despite the county’s reputation for traditional customs such as moonshine, cornbread, and honeysuckle, Titus, with his FBI expertise, knows that the peace won’t last forever.

On the first anniversary of Titus’s election, a schoolteacher is murdered by an ex-student, and Titus’s deputies take down the perpetrator. As Titus delves deeper into the case, he uncovers a web of horrendous crimes and finds a serial killer lurking in plain sight, haunting Charon’s dirt roads and woodland clearings.

Titus is determined to solve the case, even though it is linked to a nearby church, and he harbors a personal secret that plagues him. However, he faces opposition from a far-right group who want to hold a parade to honor the town’s Confederate past while he tries to solve the issue.

Despite the challenges, Titus remains resolute in his love for Charon and his commitment to finding justice. The collision of religion and hatred cannot deter him from his duty.


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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I receive a commission when you buy a book or product using a link on this page. Thank you for supporting Sharing Jan’s Love blog.



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Lincoln in the Bardo: A Novel

Read: August 2024

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Lincoln in the Bardo: A Novel

by George Saunders

My journey with “Lincoln in the Bardo: A Novel” by George Saunders began with recognition as one of The New York Times’ 100 Best Books of the Century. As I turned its pages, I was immersed in its profound exploration of living and loving in the face of inevitable endings. The book, which struck a personal chord with me after a loss, is a testament to Saunders’ storytelling prowess and a must-read for those interested in Abraham Lincoln.

February 1862. The Civil War is less than one year old. The fighting has begun in earnest, and the nation has already realized it is in for a long, bloody struggle. Meanwhile, President Lincoln’s beloved eleven-year-old son, Willie, lies upstairs in the White House, gravely ill. In a matter of days, despite predictions of a recovery, Willie dies and is laid to rest in a Georgetown cemetery. “My poor boy, he was too good for this earth,” the president says at the time. “God has called him home.” Newspapers report that a grief-stricken Lincoln returns, alone, to the crypt several times to hold his boy’s body.

From a seed of historical truth, George Saunders weaves an unforgettable tale of familial love and loss that transcends its realistic, historical framework. The story takes a daring leap into a realm that is hilarious and terrifyingly supernatural. Willie Lincoln’s journey in a strange purgatory, where ghosts mingle, gripe, commiserate, quarrel, and enact bizarre acts of penance, is a testament to Saunders’ imaginative prowess. The monumental struggle over young Willie’s soul in this transitional state, known as the bardo in the Tibetan tradition, is a narrative that will leave you spellbound.

Lincoln in the Bardo is an astonishing feat of imagination and a bold step forward from one of his generation’s most important and influential writers. Formally daring, generous in spirit, and deeply concerned with matters of the heart, it is a testament to fiction’s ability to speak honestly and powerfully about the things that matter to us. Saunders has invented a thrilling new form that deploys a kaleidoscopic, theatrical panorama of voices to ask a timeless, profound question: How do we live and love when we know everything we love must end?

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How to Love Your Daughter

Read: August 2023

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How to Love Your Daughter

by Hila Blum

I started reading a novel called “How to Love Your Daughter,” written by Hila Blum and translated by Daniella Zamir today. The book explores a complicated relationship between a mother and her grown daughter. It raises the question of how much harm we can do to our loved ones when love blinds us.

The story takes place thousands of miles away from home, where a woman finds herself peeking through well-lit windows at her two granddaughters. She has never met them before, as they are the daughters of her estranged daughter, whom she hasn’t seen in years.

The book’s central theme revolves around the woman’s attempt to understand how a once-loving relationship between her and her daughter ended up in such a distant and unfathomable state. The story shifts past and present as the woman unravels her memories and long-buried emotions. She tries to make sense of the seemingly insignificant moments of parental care that, combined, may have undermined what she valued most.

The author, Blum, skillfully delves into the complexities of family life, where a parent can easily cross the line between protectiveness and possession without even realizing it. The story leaves us wondering whether it’s possible ever to find our way back from such a point.


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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I receive a commission when you buy a book or product using a link on this page. Thank you for supporting Sharing Jan’s Love blog.



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The Little Prince

Read: May 2021

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The Little Prince

by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry is often referred to as a children’s book. I read it as a child and later read it to my children. After Jan died, I picked it up again and read it more than once.

I have found quotes from the book very helpful during my grief journey. These are three that I often use in my writing and my conversations with friends and family.

The most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or touched, they are felt with the heart.”

It is such a mysterious place, the land of tears.

You see, one loves the sunset when one is so sad.”

The first quote about beautiful things only felt in the heart summarizes how I knew Jan was the one for me within seconds of meeting her.

For those who have not read the book, this overview might help convince you to read it today!

The Little Prince describes his journey from planet to planet, each tiny world populated by a single adult. It’s a wonderfully inventive sequence that evokes the great fairy tales and monuments of postmodern whimsy. The author pokes similar fun at a business person, a geographer, and a lamplighter, all of whom signify some futile aspect of adult existence.

The Little Prince will be by my bedside as long as I live!

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Yellowface

Read: June 2023

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Yellowface: A Novel

by R.F. Kuang

I began reading Yellowface, a novel by R.F. Kuang, today. The storyline has been captivating as I scroll through the pages on my Kindle App. The book explores important themes such as cultural diversity, racism, the negative impact of cultural appropriation, and the alienation caused by social media. I find the protagonist, June Hayward, relatable and enjoyable to read about while experiencing Yellowface on my Kindle App.

June and Athena were both talented writers, but Athena’s success overshadowed June’s. After Athena’s sudden death, June rashly steals her completed manuscript, a groundbreaking novel about the Chinese laborers who contributed to World War I. June edits the book and takes credit for it, even going so far as to change her name and ethnicity for marketing purposes. She believes the story deserves to be told, regardless of who tells it.

As June’s book becomes a bestseller, she is haunted by the guilt of stealing Athena’s work. Her secret becomes harder to keep as evidence of her theft surfaces. June must confront her actions and decide how far she will go to protect her newfound success.


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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I receive a commission when you buy a book or product using a link on this page. Thank you for supporting Sharing Jan’s Love blog.



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Everything My Mother Taught Me

Read: December 2022

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Everything My Mother Taught Me

by Alice Hoffman

I read Everything My Mother Taught Me by Alice Hoffman on the last day of 2022 as I was alone, and I have always admired Ms. Hoffman’s prose. The short story is a haunting short story of loyalty and betrayal, a young woman in early 1900s Massachusetts discovers that in navigating her treacherous coming-of-age, she must find her voice first. I know it is a book that Jan would have enjoyed reading, and I highly recommend it.

Alice Hoffman’s Everything My Mother Taught Me is part of Inheritance’s five stories about secrets, unspoken desires, and dangerous revelations between loved ones. Each piece can be read or listened to in a single setting. By yourself, behind closed doors, or shared with someone you trust. I plan to read more of this series in 2023.

The Goodreads summary provides an overview.

New York Times bestselling author of The Rules of Magic Alice Hoffman crafts a beautiful, heart-wrenching short story. For fatefully observant, Adeline, growing up, carries an ominous warning from her adulterous mother: don’t say a word. Adeline vows never to speak again. Her only secret. After her mother takes a housekeeping job at a  But that’s not lighthouse off the tip of Cape Ann, a local woman vanishes. The key to the mystery lies with Adeline, the silent witness.


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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I receive a commission when you buy a book or product using a link on this page. Thank you for supporting Sharing Jan’s Love blog.



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