Walking for 1097 Days

Smiling Despite a Misty Drizzle

Can a Simple Act of Kindness Change the World?

Estimated reading time: 2 minutes, 11 seconds

As I was nearing the 7.7-mile mark close to my apartment building, I strolled past the Greatest Brothers Barbershop on Alden Street. I noticed the owner sitting comfortably in the barber chair through the window. As I passed by, he flashed a warm smile as I waved at him. Giving him a friendly wave, I started to finish my walk. However, I couldn’t resist opening the door to exchange greetings. Once inside, he reiterated how much my smile brightened his day. Despite my initial reluctance to accept the compliment, he remained insistent as we shook hands and reiterated how much my smile meant to him.

As I ascended the staircase to the third floor of Apartment 3B, I tried to understand the profound impact of a simple act of kindness. It baffled me how an average individual like me, who had grappled with the profound loss of his dear wife, could wield such influence just by extending a warm wave and offering genuine well-wishes during my routine strolls. I was sure that the solution to this enigma would gradually unfold, akin to the unfurling petals of a blossoming rose.

In just two short days, two women who frequently walk their dogs together now greet me with the warmth and familiarity of old friends. However, these encounters with the barber and the dog walkers were just the beginning of something greater. In the wake of grief that had almost claimed my last breath, I had transformed into someone recognized and lauded by friends, neighbors, and fellow travelers on life’s winding path, all because of my simple acts of kindness. This transformation, this recognition, is a testament to personal growth and the power of empathy. It’s a journey we all share, and it’s a journey that connects us all. Shouldn’t we treat each other like cherished family members, given that we are cousins on this shared life journey?

Upon stepping into my home, I summoned Siri to play WNYC-FM and settled down with a copy of The New York Times. As I ate my breakfast, I mulled over the barber’s conversation, trying to comprehend his words. I pondered how I could have brightened and improved his day, but no clear solutions were presented. While tidying up after breakfast, it struck me that there might not be a definitive answer, except that grief has been a great teacher. It has taught me life’s most crucial lesson – serving and blessing the living. This realization and understanding are a beacon of light in the darkness, guiding our actions and reflecting our humanity.

Grief’s Lesson: Serving and Blessing the Living!

I have noticed various changes within me sparked by the transformative power of grief. It's a testament to the resilience of the human spirit and the potential for positive change.

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Walking for 1097 Days
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Nobody Gets Out Alive- Stories

Read: February 2023

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Nobody Gets Out Alive: Stories

by Leigh Newman

Nobody Gets Out Alive: Stories by Leigh Newman, set in Newman’s home state of Alaska and an exciting virtuosic story collection about women navigating the wilds of a male-dominated society. Nobody Gets Out Alive is a collection of dazzling, courageous stories about women struggling to survive, not just grizzly bears and charging moose but the raw, exhausting legacy of their marriages and families.

There are moments when characters in a story leap off the page and become, for a few moments, our soul mates. Ms. Newman, in each of these memorable stories, engages so fully that each character becomes so alive that I wanted to know more about their lives.

The stores span both the recent past and the founding of Anchorage. I found all of them to be stories I would happily read again. The recent stories highlight the common desire for a freer, more inclusive world for women. A woman forced to sell her home or a new bride testing limits on her return home resonates as themes of the modern world.

The final story is set in 1915 in a railroad camp. The story highlights the founding of Anchorage. As one who likes historical fiction, I was so engaged that I could not take a break. I was not expecting the outspoken heiress would stage an elaborate theatrical to seduce the wife of her husband’s employer.

I may never visit Alaska at my age, but I now know enough to feel I have lived in Seward’s Folly.

I decided to read this book after reading Ms. Newman wrote a review of The Faraway World. Ms. Newman is a skilled writer, and I highly recommend this collection and look forward to reading more of her stories in the future.

The Goodreads summary provides an overview,

In “Howl Palace”—winner of The Paris Review’s Terry Southern Prize, a Best American Short Story, and Pushcart Prize selection—an aging widow struggles with a rogue hunting dog and the memories of her five ex-husbands while selling her house after bankruptcy. In the title story, “Nobody Gets Out Alive,” newly married Katrina visits her hometown of Anchorage. She blows up her wedding reception by flirting with the host and running off with an enormous mastodon tusk.

Alongside stories set in today’s Last Frontier—rife with suburban sprawl, global warming, and opioid addiction—Newman delves into the remote wilderness of the 1970s and 80s, bringing to life young girls and single moms in search of a wilder, more accessible, more adventurous America. The final story takes place in a railroad camp in 1915, where an outspoken heiress stages an elaborate theatrical to seduce the wife of her husband’s employer, revealing how this masterful storyteller is “not only writing unforgettable, brilliantly complex characters, she’s somehow inventing souls” (Kimberly King Parsons, author of Black Light).


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The City We Became

Read: October 2021

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The City We Became: A Novel

by N. K. Jemisin

The City We Became: A Novel by N. K. Jemisin is my first science fiction and urban fantasy novel in quite some time. It is a story of culture, identity, magic, and myths in contemporary New York City. Jan and I had lived in New York City, and the book brought back fond memories.

Every great city has a soul. Some are ancient as myths, and others are as new and destructive as children.

But every City also has a dark side. A roiling, ancient evil stirs beneath the earth, threatening to destroy the City and her five protectors unless they can come together and stop it once and for all.

As Jemisin writes:

A city is never alone, not really — and this city seems less solitary than most. More like a family: many parts, frequently squabbling … but in the end, against enemies, they come together to protect one another. They must, or die.

The challenge is when evil forces threaten the City; the entire community needs to unite, and the City’s avatars for each of the five boroughs.

Initially, this is supposed to be one for each borough and one for the entire City. In the end, one of the avatars for the five boroughs chooses not to unite with the others. Without all six, they stand no chance to defeat the forces of evil.

How do they solve this? By adding the sixth borough – Jersey City.

I recommend this book without reservation.

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Living With Loss, One Day at a Time

Read: September 2021

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Living With Loss, One Day at a Time

by Rachel Blythe Kodanaz

Living With Loss, One Day at a Time by Rachel Blythe Kodanaz is the book I would recommend for anyone beginning or in the early stages of grief. It should be on the griever’s nightstand so they can start and end their day with reading.

Ms. Kodanaz has presented at my bereavement groups and has been an inspiration. She encouraged me not only to continue writing but also to share my thoughts publicly.

Usually, I only write a review once I have finished the book. However, this is a collection of thoughts for each day of the journey. Over the first weekend, I read up to the number of days since my wife died. Now I will read the daily message each day. When I get to the end of the year, I will start over.

There are many essential gems in the daily readings. The one for Day 9, Love Never Dies, jumped off the page due to my writings on the same theme.

Love Never Dies. Your loved one has passed away, but the love you shared has not died. The memories you created, the connection you built together, and your affection toward one another will live forever.

Embrace the love and cherish the memories, as they will always be a part of you remain in your heart.

There are at least a dozen others that I have earmarked for future streams or even the basis of future posts.

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The Corrections: A Novel

Read: September 2024

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The Corrections: A Novel

by Jonathan Franzen

Today, I embarked on a profound exploration of the human condition through Jonathan Franzen‘s ‘The Corrections: A Novel.’ It guides us from the heart of the Midwest in the mid-century to the bustling streets of Wall Street and the enigmatic landscapes of Eastern Europe. It’s no surprise that it’s hailed as one of The New York Times 100 Best Books of the 21st Century.

Jonathan Franzen‘s ‘The Corrections: A Novel‘ is not just a family saga but a profound critique of our modern society. It’s a work of art that delves into the issues of our new century, enlightening us with its insights. Franzen masterfully juxtaposes the old-fashioned America of freight trains, civic responsibility, and holiday treats with the modern absurdities of neuroscience, home surveillance, hands-off parenting, DIY mental health care, and the anti-gravity New Economy. It’s a narrative that will evoke laughter, tears, and deep contemplation. Through ‘The Corrections,’ Franzen establishes himself as one of the leading interpreters of American society and the American spirit.

Enid Lambert is distraught. She conceals her anxiety from her neighbors and adult children, but her husband, Alfred, is slipping into a world of his own. Whether it’s the medication for his Parkinson’s disease or his pessimism, he’s becoming increasingly detached. His days are spent brooding in the basement, engaging in mysterious, unsettling actions, and struggling to understand Enid’s words. The depth of their struggle is palpable, drawing the reader into their world.

Trouble also brews in the lives of Enid’s children. Her eldest son, Gary, a banker in Philadelphia, has become callous and materialistic, trying to push his parents out of their old home and into a small apartment. The middle child, Chip, has abruptly quit his exciting job as a professor at D—— College for no discernible reason. He moved to New York City, seemingly embracing a “transgressive” lifestyle while working on a screenplay. Meanwhile, the youngest, Denise, has left her disastrous marriage only to waste her youth and beauty on an affair with a married man—or so Gary implies.

Enid, a lover of life’s pleasures, still looks forward to a final family Christmas and the upcoming Nordic Pleasurelines Luxury Fall Color Cruise with Alfred. However, his growing confusion and instability threaten these remaining joys. As Alfred’s condition worsens, the Lamberts must confront their family’s past failures, secrets, and long-buried wounds. Yet, in this journey of confrontation and reconciliation, the hope for a better future emerges.

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Midwives

Read: June 2022

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Midwives: A Novel

by Chris Bohjalian

Midwives by Chris Bohjalian is “a compulsively readable novel that explores questions of human responsibility that are as fundamental to our society now as they were when the book was first published.” Forty years after the book was published, it is just as relevant, if not more so. Indeed, the book’s topics are more relevant today with the current set of decisions by the Supreme Court.

After reading The Pull of the Stars and watching every season of Call the Midwivesthis was the logical next book for me to read. It is also one that I know Jan read and liked. 

I highly recommend this book!

The Goodreads summary provides a concise overview. 

The time is 1981, and Sibyl Danforth has been a dedicated midwife in the rural community of Reddington, Vermont, for fifteen years. But one treacherous winter night, in a house isolated by icy roads and failed telephone lines, Sibyl takes desperate measures to save a baby’s life. She performs an emergency Caesarean section on its mother, who appears to have died in labor. But what if—as Sibyl’s assistant later charges—the patient wasn’t already dead, and it was Sibyl who inadvertently killed her?

As recounted by Sibyl’s precocious fourteen-year-old daughter, Connie, the ensuing trial bears the earmarks of a witch hunt except that all its participants are acting from the highest motives—and the defendant increasingly appears to be guilty. As Sibyl Danforth faces the antagonism of the law, the hostility of traditional doctors, and the accusations of her conscience, Midwives engages, moves, and transfixes us as only the best novels ever do


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We Do Not Part

Read: March 2025

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We Do Not Part: A Novel

by Han Kang

Today, I explored “We Do Not Part,” the latest novel by Han Kang, the 2024 Nobel Prize in Literature laureate. Translated by the talented e. yaewon and Paige Aniyah Morris, this book offers a remarkable journey. The New York Times has called it Kang’s most revealing work since her acclaimed novel, “The Vegetarian.” What captivates me the most is how it intricately weaves the story of two women’s friendship while shedding light on a hidden chapter of Korean history.

One winter morning, Kyungha receives an urgent message from her friend Inseon, asking her to visit a hospital in Seoul. Inseon has injured herself in an accident and begs Kyungha to return to Jeju Island, where she lives, to save her beloved pet—a white bird named Ama. A snowstorm hits the island when Kyungha arrives. At all costs, she must reach Inseon’s house, but the icy wind and blizzards slow her down as night falls. She wonders if she will arrive in time to save the animal—or even survive the terrible cold that envelops her with every step. Lost in a world of snow, she does not yet suspect the vertiginous plunge into darkness that awaits her at her friend’s house.

Blurring the boundaries between dream and reality, “We Do Not Part” powerfully illuminates a forgotten chapter of Korean history buried for decades, bringing to light the lost voices of the past to prevent them from fading into oblivion. It is both a tribute to enduring friendship and a plea for remembrance. The novel tells a story of profound love in the face of unspeakable violence and celebrates life, however fragile.


Han Kang was born in 1970 in South Korea. She is the author of The Vegetarian, which I have read, and winner of the International Booker Prize,  Human ActsThe White BookGreek Lessons, and We Do Not Part. In 2024, she received the Nobel Prize in Literature.

e. yaewon is based in Korea and translates from and into Korean, including titles by Hwang Jungeun, Deborah Levy, and Samuel Beckett.

Paige Aniyah Morris divides her time between the United States and Korea. Recent translations include works by Pak Kyongni, Ji-min Lee, and Chang Kang-myoung.



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