Balance

Stability or Disaster?

Estimated reading time: 0 minutes, 33 seconds

Today, my grief feels like it will either stay stable or reoccur with a vengeance. If there is a grief eruption, will I be consumed by the flames? I prefer a stable environment to sail to the Community of Love across the open waters. Flames would stop the forward progress while it consumed me.

Walking, reading, and writing have helped me avoid the pain of failure. Now, I am being called on to engage more directly with others in grief and as a group facilitator.

Love never dies; it only grows stronger.

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How Did I Grieve?

If grief has made me a better person, it's because God gave me the ability to listen, embrace, and move forward into the future. Although I miss Jan dearly, I am committed to living with courage, honoring her memory, and being my best father, grandfather, friend, and neighbor.

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Balance
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Jaded: A Novel

Read: April 2024

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Jaded: A Novel

by Ela Lee

Today, I started reading “Jaded: A Novel” by Ela Lee. The main character’s name is Jade, which isn’t even her real name. Jade began using it as her Starbucks name because all children of immigrants have a Starbucks name. “Jaded” is a must-read book for fans of “Queenie” and “I May Destroy You.” It offers a blistering—and sometimes darkly funny—account of consent, power, race, sexism, and identity in a broken society.

Jade has accomplished everything she ever wanted.

She’s a successful lawyer, a dutiful daughter, a beloved girlfriend, and a loyal friend. However, everything starts to crumble when she wakes up the morning after a work event, naked and alone, with no idea how she got home. Jade is caught between her parents, who can’t understand, her boyfriend, who feels betrayed, and her job, which expects silence.

Jade thought she was everything she ever wanted to be. But now she feels like nothing at all.

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The Lion's Den

Read: January 2023

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The Lion’s Den

by Anthony Marra

Today, I read The Lion’s Den by Anthony Marra. After a four and one-half Zoom meeting, I was looking for a book I could finish tonight, and the third book in the Inheritance, a collection of five stories about secrets, unspoken desires, and dangerous revelations between loved ones, seemed like the book to read. The Lion’s Den is the story of Michael, a son, his father’s transgressions in a tell-all were the ethical, righteous—and profitable—thing to do. What’s left but to slink back home for a humbling face-to-face with the man whose secrets he sold?

It was the perfect novel to read this evening. In the opening paragraph, when Michael’s father describes the automated customer service computer voice.” Siri’s dimwitted stepsister,” I knew I could enjoy this book.

Michael’s last-minute invitation to be the Ethics Symposium speaker at his parochial school was written in a way that was both bluntly honest and humorous.

Michael’s visits with his father to the lion’s den at the National Zoo were profoundly moving, and when the wheelchair was left there after his father’s death brought tears to my eyes.

I highly recommend The Lion’s Den, part of Inheritance, a collection of five stories about secrets, unspoken desires, and dangerous revelations between loved ones. Each Inheritance piece can be read or listened to in a single setting. By yourself, behind closed doors, or shared with someone you trust. This is the third one in the series I have read. The previous two were Everything My Mother Taught Me and Can You Feel This?

I have enjoyed all three and look forward to reading the final two.

The Goodreads summary provides an overview,

Exposing his father’s transgressions in a tell-all was the ethical, righteous—and profitable—thing to do. What’s left but to slink back home for a humbling face-to-face with the man whose secrets he sold?

He was a notorious government whistle-blower. Depending on whom you ask, he’s a treasonous felon, a folk hero, a validated patriot, or a national disgrace. To his son, Michael, he’s the father who threw his family into upheaval. Now, having moved back home at thirty-four, Michael is getting to know him as a man and getting nearer to understanding his motivations that have remained a mystery in this darkly humorous short story of sacrifice and betrayal by New York Times bestselling author Anthony Marra.


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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I receive a commission when you buy a book or product using a link on this page. Thank you for supporting Sharing Jan’s Love blog.



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The Vanishing Half

Read: September 2021

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The Vanishing Half

by Brit Bennett

The Vanishing Half by Brit Bennett was a true page-turner, and I did not want to stop reading it even when I got to the last page. I am not a fan of sequels, but if I was ever going to change my mind, this is the book I would want to read a sequel.

Ms. Bennett focuses on two twins who run away from home at age 16. They have grown up in Mallard, a fictional town in Louisiana. “In Mallard, nobody married dark,” Bennett writes starkly. Over time, its prejudices deepened as its population became lighter and lighter, “like a cup of coffee steadily diluted with cream.” The twins, with their “creamy skin, hazel eyes, wavy hair,” would have delighted the town’s founder. One of the women chooses to pass as white while the other does not.

The Vignes twin sisters will always be identical. But after growing up together in a small, southern black community and running away at age sixteen, it’s not just the shape of their daily lives that is different as adults, it’s everything: their families, their communities, their racial identities. Many years later, one sister lives with her black daughter in the same southern town she once tried to escape. The other passes for white, and her white husband knows nothing of her past. Still, even separated by so many miles and just as many lies, the fates of the twins remain intertwined. What will happen to the next generation, when their own daughters’ storylines intersect?

Weaving together multiple strands and generations of this family, from the Deep South to California, from the 1950s to the 1990s, Brit Bennett produces a story that is at once a riveting, emotional family story and a brilliant exploration of the American history of passing. Looking well beyond issues of race, The Vanishing Half considers the lasting influence of the past as it shapes a person’s decisions, desires, and expectations, and explores some of the multiple reasons and realms in which people sometimes feel pulled to live as something other than their origins.

The question of why people choose to live differently than their origins is one that I often ponder. Growing up in a small town and living in a metropolis raises questions for me as to what my life is now and what was once.

I strongly recommend this book.

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Borscht Belt Boy: Recollections of a Hotel Brat

Read: January 2024

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Borscht Belt Boy

by Mark Kramer

I started reading Borscht Belt Boy: Recollections of a Hotel Brat by Mark Kramer today. The book is the story of a young man who grew up in the heyday of the Borscht Belt. The author sent me a copy when I shared my 2023 reading accomplishments. I found joy in reading his memoir as the author, and I are almost the same age.

The author, the son of a Catskills Mountain resort hotel owner, describes his experiences growing up when hotels, bungalow colonies, and sleep-away camps were booming. Learn about the characters that populated this world, from the kids who worked in the dining rooms, the handymen recruited from the Bowery, to the chefs and maitre d’s.

Enjoy the author’s humorous description of the different kinds of people who summered in the mountains. Read fascinating tales of entertainers, including Buddy Hackett and Lenny Bruce’s experiences at the family hotel. There is a brief history of Catskills’ institutions, how the influx of Jews changed the landscape, and how the resort trade influenced race, religion, and class.

This lighthearted memoir will return fond memories to those who visited the Borscht Belt in their youth and enlighten those not lucky enough to have shared this particular time and place in history.


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Regarding gifts made this month, I will match dollar for dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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I receive a commission when you buy a book or product using a link on this page. Thank you for supporting Sharing Jan’s Love blog.



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The Fraud: A Novel

Read: December 2023

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The Fraud: A Novel

by Zadie Smith

I started reading The Fraud: A Novel by Zadie Smith today. The book is a kaleidoscopic work of historical fiction that revolves around a legal trial that divided Victorian England. The story is set in 1873, where Mrs. Eliza Touchet, a Scottish housekeeper and cousin by marriage of a once-famous novelist, William Ainsworth, lives with him for thirty years. Mrs. Touchet is interested in literature, justice, abolitionism, class, and her cousin’s wives.

However, she is skeptical of her cousin’s talent, Mr. Charles Dickens’ character, and England’s facades, in which nothing is as it seems.

On the other hand, Andrew Bogle grew up enslaved on the Hope Plantation in Jamaica. He knows that every lump of sugar comes at a human cost, that the rich deceive the poor, and that people are more easily manipulated than they realize. When Bogle finds himself in London, a star witness in a celebrated case of imposture, he knows that his future depends on telling the right story.

The “Tichborne Trial” captivates Mrs. Touchet and all of England. The trial involves a lower-class butcher from Australia who claimed he was the rightful heir of a sizable estate and title. The question is whether Sir Roger Tichborne is genuinely who he says he is or whether he’s a fraud. In a world of hypocrisy and self-deception, deciding what’s real is complicated for Mrs. Touchet and Mr. Bogle.

The Fraud is a dazzling novel about truth and fiction, Jamaica and Britain, fraudulence and authenticity, and the mystery of “other people.” It’s based on historical events.


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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I receive a commission when you buy a book or product using a link on this page. Thank you for supporting Sharing Jan’s Love blog.



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The Great Divide: A Novel

Read: June 2024

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The Great Divide: A Novel

by Cristina Henriquez

I began to read “The Great Divide: A Novel” by Cristina Henriquez today. The book stood out for its compassionate exploration of the lives of activists, fishmongers, laborers, journalists, neighbors, doctors, and soothsayers. It sheds light on individuals whose essential contributions history overlooks. The novel weaves these characters’ stories in a unique and compelling narrative structure.

Set against the backdrop of the yet-to-be-built Panama Canal, the book delves into the lives of various characters. Francisco, a local fisherman, resents the foreign powers vying for control of his homeland. His son, Omar, works in the excavation zone, seeking connection in a rapidly changing world.

Sixteen-year-old Ada Bunting, from Barbados, stows away in Panama to find work and fund her ailing sister’s surgery. When she encounters Omar, who collapsed after a grueling shift, she rushes to his aid, setting off a chain of events that will change their lives.

John Oswald, a scientist dedicated to eliminating malaria, is in Panama when his wife, Marian, falls ill. Witnessing Ada’s bravery and compassion, he hires her as a caregiver, setting off a tale of ambition, loyalty, and sacrifice.

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