Mike and Lilah-Rae-Rae

Strolling and Conversing With New Friends!

Grateful Am I for the Gift of Life!

Estimated reading time: 1 minute, 55 seconds

“Do you walk on this road often?” The young man asked me just minutes after we met, warming the air between us. I usually take my morning stroll this way, depending on the route. Turning from West End Place onto Hampton Road, I instinctively responded, sharing my appreciation for the day. His Beagle barked, several octaves higher than his size, in response. Like every dog owner, he apologized, called Rusty, pulled the dog toward him, and then adjusted the stroller. I delayed answering his question and walked at a pace that kept us together.

As we strolled down the street, I waved and said, “Have a nice day,” to a landscaper unloading his equipment across the street; the landscaper smiled and thanked me. I told him I had found that Hampton Road is a short but peaceful detour from Springfield Avenue, whether I am heading to or returning from Nomehagen Park. “I’ve noticed you on most mornings. How far do you walk?” The question about the distance is not easy to answer. If I tell the truth, it might come across as bragging. However, if he sees me frequently, claiming I was only out for a stroll would be challenging. I told him that I usually walk seven or eight miles daily. His response was one word: wow.

Eric introduced himself as we approached Springfield Avenue, where he would turn right, and I left. “My name is Eric, and this is Liliah,” he said. I introduced myself and informed him I had a granddaughter with the same name. It felt like the shared name bonded us like brothers, a connection through shared experiences.

Eric said he looked forward to seeing me again. As we parted, I said it was a beautiful day. Eric concurred, noting the clear sky and mild temperature. I responded with my typical retort, “No, every day is gorgeous! Neither rain nor snow nor thunder can change that. We should be grateful to wake up and be blessed with life.” As I proceeded south toward Hanson Park and eventually home, I could hear his voice chatting with Liliah and Rusty, “Every day is beautiful!” This encounter, this simple walk, was a testament to the power of shared experiences in forging connections.

Love is a Magical Force!

Whenever I fall in love, I do so with all my heart and soul, leaving no room for half-steps. My love is unconditional and knows no boundaries. My wife knew and accepted me for who I am. Together, Jan and I created a legacy for ages to come.

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Mike and Lilah-Rae-Rae
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Roses, in the Mouth of a Lion

Read: January 2023

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Roses, in the Mouth of a Lion

by Bushra Rehman

Roses, in the Mouth of a Lion by Bushra Rehman is a book I encouraged friends to read before I finished reading it. I highly recommend this page-turner novel, which is punctuated by both joy and loss, full of ’80s music and beloved books. Roses, in the Mouth of a Lion is a must-read coming-of-age story of Razia Mirza, a girl struggling to reconcile her heritage and faith with her desire to be true to herself.

Razia Mirza, the protagonist, leaps off the page or screen. Bushra Rehman describes Corona with prose that is vibrant and clear-eyed. When I lived in Brooklyn, I had, on a few occasions, meetings in Corona a decade before the novel’s setting. Reading the book made me remember that time and place and understand intuitively the world that Razia was struggling to reconcile.

Razia’s choice between her heart and her family is one I will not reveal. However, the novel defines the conflicts between the Pakistani-American community and the love that Razia and Anglea experience in clear prose, and the reader can easily accept various resolutions.

The choice that Rasia makes left me desiring to know what happens next. I have added Bushra Rehman to my favorite authors and plan to read more of her novels.

I had this novel on my list for the last month but could not get to it until now. I wish I had read it sooner. It is the eighth book I have read in 2023.

The Goodreads summary provides an overview,

Razia Mirza grows up amid the wild grape vines and backyard sunflowers of Corona, Queens, with her best friend, Saima, by her side. Razia’s heart is broken when a family rift drives the girls apart. She finds solace in Taslima, a new girl in her close-knit Pakistani-American community. They embark on a series of small rebellions: listening to scandalous music, wearing miniskirts, and cutting school to explore the city.

When Razia is accepted to Stuyvesant, a prestigious high school in Manhattan, the gulf between the person she is and the daughter her parents want her to be, widens. At Stuyvesant, Razia meets Angela and is attracted to her in a way that blossoms into a new understanding. When an Aunty discovers their relationship in the community, Razia must choose between her family and her future.


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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Scarlet Carnation: A Novel

Read: March 2022

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Scarlet Carnation: A Novel

by Laila Ibrahim

Scarlet Carnation: A Novel by Laila Ibrahim is a book I enjoyed reading. Having read this book, I am now a fan of Laila Ibrahim and look forward to reading more of her novels. In addition, I am a fan of historical fiction, and this is one of the best I have read about the second decade of the twentieth century.

May and Naomi are related, but their lives are very relatable to the reader. The promises of equality and transformation of women’s roles resonate even now. Bringing together the myriad issues they confront – racism, shaming for decisions they made, peace, and the interlocking of their families from a plantation, make this a book that I highly recommend.

The only observation was my shock at reading that they were petitioning President Coolidge at the start of WW I. It is a minor issue as the story flows strongly from the first to the last page.

The Goodreads overview highlights the narrative of the book.

In an early twentieth-century America roiling with racial injustice, class divides, and WWI, two women fight for their dreams in a galvanizing novel by the bestselling author of Golden Poppies. 1915. May and Naomi are extended families, their grandmothers’ lives inseparably entwined on a Virginia plantation in the volatile time leading up to the Civil War. For both women, the twentieth century promises social transformation and equal opportunity.

May, a young white woman, is on the brink of achieving the independent life she’s dreamed of since childhood. Naomi, a nurse, mother, and leader of the NAACP, has fulfilled her own dearest desire: buying a home for her family. But they both are about to learn that dreams can be destroyed in an instant. May’s future is upended, and she is forced to rely once again on her mother. Meanwhile, the white-majority neighborhood into which Naomi has moved is organizing against her while her sons are away fighting for their country.

In the tumult of a changing nation, these two women—whose grandmothers survived the Civil War—support each other’s quest for liberation and dignity. Both find the strength to confront injustice and the faith to thrive on their chosen paths.

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Intimacies: A Novel

Read: March 2022

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Intimacies: A Novel

by Katie Kitamura

Intimacies: A Novel by Katie Kitamura is about an interpreter who has come to The Hague to escape New York and work at the International Court. A woman of many languages and identities is finally looking for a place to call home.

Intimacies: A Novel is the second book by Ms. Kitamura that I have read this year. The multiple intimacies of the novel overlap and at times seem confusing, but in the end, it makes sense even if it is unclear how or where she will live the next phase of her life. A Separation is also written hypnotic, making it difficult to stop reading.

I not only highly recommend Intimacies: A Novel but have become a fan of Katie Kitamura and look forward to reading more of her books.

Goodreads summary provides a good overview.

She’s drawn into simmering personal dramas: her lover, Adriaan, is separated from his wife but still entangled in his marriage. Her friend Jana witnesses a seemingly random act of violence, a crime the interpreter becomes increasingly obsessed with as she befriends the victim’s sister. And she’s pulled into explosive political fires: her work interpreting for a former president accused of war crimes becomes precarious as their relationship is unbound by shifting language and meaning.

This woman is the voice in the ear of many, but what command does that give her, and how vulnerable does that leave her? Her coolly impassioned views on power, love, and violence, are tested, both in her personal intimacies and in her role at the Court. She is soon pushed to the precipice, where betrayal and heartbreak threaten to overwhelm her; it is her drive towards truth, and love, that throws into stark relief what she wants from her life.

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Man's Search for Meaning

Read: January 2022

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Man’s Search for Meaning

by Viktor E. Frankl

I remember reading portions of Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor E. Frankl at different times, but I never finished the book. However, recently, eight and a half months after the passing of Jan, the book came up for discussion in one of my groups. Frankl’s theory of logotherapy, which derives from the Greek word for “meaning,” centers around the idea that the primary human drive is not pleasure, as Freud believed, but rather the search for what gives life meaning. I now have a framework for my life without Jan.

For those like me who are widows, Frankl understands suffering,

In some ways, suffering ceases to be suffering at the moment it finds a meaning, such as the meaning of a sacrifice.

Jan and I lived meaningful lives. My challenge now is to continue to find meaning in my life without Jan.

As Frankl writes,

Those who have a ‘why’ to live, can bear with almost any ‘how’.

The love Jan and I shared was one of my primary sources of meaning. In addition, I stopped working full-time at the end of 2018 and struggled to replace the purpose I had gained from repairing the world. After Jan died, I suffered the “provisional existence of an unknown limit.” Frankl experienced that when he was in the concentration camps.

I have replaced the loss of meaning and purpose with a series of activities:

  1. Planning to Celebrate Jan Day on her birthday this year;
  2. Writing my random thoughts on Jan, love, grief, life, and all things considered;
  3. Reading more than ever, including my Goodreads 2022 Reading Challange; and
  4. Walking more than I probably should.

I am also beginning to serve on the board of a few non-profits. It is time to transition from hands-on work to providing leadership differently.

Will this be enough to give my life meaning?

Ultimately, man should not ask what the meaning of his life is, but rather must recognize that it is he who is asked. In a word, each man is questioned by life; and he can only answer to life by answering for his own life; to life he can only respond by being responsible.

I must continue focusing on my search for meaning, as life will change over time.

My grief journey has taught me that love never dies,

For the first time in my life, I saw the truth as it is set into song by so many poets, proclaimed as the final wisdom by so many thinkers. The truth – that Love is the ultimate and highest goal to which man can aspire. Then I grasped the meaning of the greatest secret that human poetry and human thought and belief have to impart: The salvation of man is through love and in love.

My path forward is to keep Jan’s love alive and continue to share it with others.

I recommend this book without reservation.


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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Sarah's Key

Read: January 2022

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Sarah’s Key

by Tatiana de Rosnay

Sarah’s Key by Tatiana de Rosnay is the untold story of the roundup of the Jews in Paris in July 1942. The novel focuses on how the French were complicit in rounding up thousands of Jews in 1942. It is also a reminder that we can never allow another genocide. I finished this book the day before Holocaust Remembrance Day, January 27, the date on which the Auschwitz-Birkenau concentration and death camp complex was liberated in 1945.

Ten-year-old Sarah is brutally arrested with her family in the Vel’ d’Hiv’ roundup, the most notorious act of French collaboration with the Nazis. But before the police come to take them, Sarah locks her younger brother, Michel, in their favorite hiding place, a cupboard in the family’s apartment. She keeps the key, thinking she will be back within a few hours.

Paris, May 2002: On Vel’ d’Hiv’s sixtieth anniversary, Julia Jarmond, an American journalist, is asked by her Paris-based American magazine to write an article about this black day in France’s past. Julia has lived in Paris for nearly twenty-five years and married a Frenchman, and she is shocked both by her ignorance about the event and the silence that still surrounds it.

The twin narratives of Sarah and Julia hold the first two-thirds of the book together and make it a page-turner. Sarah’s memory reminds us during the final third of the book and ensures that the complete story of the Vel’ d’Hiv’ roundup and its lasting impact are told.

As Goodreads describes the novel,

In the course of her investigation, she stumbles onto a trail of long-hidden family secrets that connects her to Sarah. Julia finds herself compelled to retrace the girl’s ordeal, from the terrible days spent shut in at the Vel’ d’Hiv’ to the camps and beyond. As she probes into Sarah’s past, she begins to question her own place in France and to reevaluate her marriage and her life.

Writing about the fate of her country with a pitiless clarity, Tatiana de Rosnay offers us a brilliantly subtle, compelling portrait of France under occupation and reveals the taboos and denial surrounding this painful episode in French history.

I highly recommend the book.

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The Days of Abandonment

Read: July 2024

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The Days of Abandonment

by Elena Ferrante

I’ve just started reading The Days of Abandonment by Elena Ferrante after finishing My Brilliant Friend. This book is among the New York Times’s 100 Best Books of the 21st Century. I chose to read it after watching An Undoing, a documentary about healing from an abusive 20-year marriage using unstitching wedding garments, one stitch at a time.

The film was part of the first night of the International Women’s Film Festival in Cranford. Although, except for one brief moment, I have never been in the same situation as the woman in the short video or Olga, the protagonist in the novel, I choose this as my next book to read. Of course, Ferrante’s writing is known for rich character development and powerful prose.

The Days of Abandonment follows the gripping story of an Italian woman named Olga, whose husband suddenly leaves after fifteen years of marriage. With two young children to care for, Olga finds it increasingly difficult to maintain her previous lifestyle of keeping a spotless house, cooking creative meals, and controlling her temper. After encountering her husband with his much younger lover in public, she even resorts to physically assaulting him.

In a “raging, torrential voice,” according to The New York Times, Olga describes her journey from denial to devastating emptiness. Trapped within the four walls of their high-rise apartment, she confronts her ghosts, the potential loss of her identity, and the possibility that life may never return to normal.

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