Jan Lilien and Richard W. Brown

The Ultimate Measure of a Person

Estimated reading time: 0 minutes, 41 seconds

Celebrate JanOn March 21, 2019, Monarch Housing gave me a plaque with a quote from the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King about the ultimate measure of a person.

The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.

Martin Luther King, Jr.

Jan was healthy, and we had years to love each other and repair the world.

When I received the plaque, I was unsure if I deserved the award. Now I have even more doubts. Where do I stand now?

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Jan Lilien and Richard W. Brown
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Demon Copperhead: A Novel

Read: December 2022

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Demon Copperhead: A Novel

by Barbara Kingsolver

Demon Copperhead: A Novel by Barbara Kingsolver is a must-read page-turner! Set in the mountains of southern Appalachia, this is the story of a boy born to a teenage single mother in a single-wide trailer, with no assets beyond his dead father’s good looks and copper-colored hair, a caustic wit, and a fierce talent for survival. Demon Copperhead speaks for a new generation of lost boys and all those born into beautiful, cursed places they can’t imagine leaving behind.

With more knowledge about the devastation of an economy that works for a few and the opioid crisis, I felt as if I was reading about people I knew. Although the book focuses on the impact on boys, it also details the devastation that girls experience.

If Jan had read Demon Copperhead, she would have encouraged me to read it. It reminds us of the work we must do to repair the world.

As a widow, it was a reminder of the long road that we must all take even after we have hit bottom.

WNYC’s All of it hosted an interview with Barbara Kingsolver in which she speaks about Demon Copperhead and her writing.

Demon Copperhead is one of the NYTimes’ top five fiction books of 2022. I have read three of them, The Candy House, The Furrows, and Checkout 19.

The Goodreads summary provides an overview.

In a plot that never pauses for breath, relayed in his unsparing voice, he braves the modern perils of foster care, child labor, derelict schools, athletic success, addiction, disastrous loves, and crushing losses. Through all of it, he reckons with his invisibility in a popular culture where even the superheroes have abandoned rural people in favor of cities.

Many generations ago, Charles Dickens wrote David Copperfield from his experience as a survivor of institutional poverty and its damage to children in his society. Those problems have yet to be solved in ours. Dickens is not a prerequisite for readers of this novel, but he provided its inspiration. In transposing a Victorian epic novel to the contemporary American South, Barbara Kingsolver enlists Dickens’ anger and compassion and, above all, his faith in the transformative powers of a good story. Demon Copperhead speaks for a new generation of lost boys and all those born into beautiful, cursed places they can’t imagine leaving behind.


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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The Heaven & Earth Grocery Store

Read: November 2023

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The Heaven & Earth Grocery Store

by James McBride

I started reading The Heaven & Earth Grocery Store: A Novel by James McBride today. It’s the seventy-first book I’ve read this year and the two hundredth since January 1, 2019. The novel’s narrative begins in 1972 when workers in Pottstown, Pennsylvania, were digging the foundations for a new development. They were surprised to find a skeleton at the bottom of the well. The identity of the skeleton and how it ended up there were long-held secrets that the residents of Chicken Hill kept.

Jewish immigrants and African Americans lived together in this run-down neighborhood and shared their aspirations and hardships. Moshe and Chona Ludlow resided in Chicken Hill when Moshe integrated his theatre, and Chona ran the Heaven & Earth Grocery Store. When the state officials searched for a deaf boy to institutionalize him, it was Chona and Nate Timblin, the Black janitor at Moshe’s theatre and the unofficial leader of the Black community on Chicken Hill, who collaborated to keep the boy safe.

As the stories of these characters intertwine and develop, it becomes evident how much the individuals living on the outskirts of white, Christian America struggle to survive and what they must do to make it through. As the truth is ultimately disclosed regarding the events that occurred on Chicken Hill, including the involvement of the town’s white establishment, McBride illustrates to us that, even in the darkest of times, love and community – the very essence of heaven and earth – help us endure.

Bringing his masterly storytelling skills and deep faith in humanity to The Heaven & Earth Grocery Store, James McBride has written a novel as compassionate as Deacon King Kong and as inventive as The Good Lord Bird.

The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Regarding gifts made this month, I will match dollar for dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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I receive a commission when you buy a book or product using a link on this page. Thank you for supporting Sharing Jan’s Love blog.



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Self-Portrait with Ghost: Short Stories

Read: December 2022

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Self-Portrait with Ghost: Short Stories

by Meng Jin

Self-Portrait with Ghost: Short Stories by Meng Jin was written during the turbulent years of the Trump administration and the first year of the pandemic, these stories explore intimacy and isolation, coming of age, and coming to terms with the repercussions of past mistakes, fraying relationships, and surprising moments of connection. I highly recommend Self-Portrait with Ghost: Short Stories!

Each story speaks so clearly to the loneliness epidemic that confronts our world. I would read one short story and promise to stop and wait until another day to read the next one. Instead

One phrase that will always remain with me is: “The hallucinatory quality of grief.” As a widow, the phrase struck a chord that will forever resonate in my soul.

This is the seventy-third book I have read this year.

The Goodreads summary provides an overview,

Meng Jin’s critically acclaimed debut novel, Little Gods, was praised as “spectacular and emotionally polyphonic (Omar El-Akkad, BookPage), “powerful” (Washington Post), and “meticulously observed, daringly imagined” (Claire Messud). Jin turns her considerable talents into short fiction in ten thematically linked stories.

Moving between San Francisco and China, and from unsparing realism to genre-bending delight, Self-Portrait with Ghost considers what it means to live in an age of heightened self-consciousness, seemingly unlimited access to knowledge, and little actual power.

Page-turning, thought-provoking, and wholly unique, Self-Portrait with Ghost further establishes Meng Jin as a writer who “reminds us that possible explanations in our universe are as varied as the beings who populate it” (Paris Review).


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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I receive a commission when you buy a book or product using a link on this page. Thank you for supporting Sharing Jan’s Love blog.



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The God of the Woods: A Novel

Read: July 2024

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The God of the Woods: A Novel

by Liz Moore

I started reading “The God of the Woods: A Novel” by Liz Moore today. Several reviews recommended it as a great summer read. The story is set in August 1975, the same month and year my spouse Jan and I married. Liz Moore weaves a multi-threaded story, inviting readers into a rich and gripping dynasty of secrets and second chances.

The novel begins with a camp counselor discovering an empty bunk at an Adirondack summer camp belonging to thirteen-year-old Barbara Van Laar, who has mysteriously vanished. Barbara is not just any teenager; she is the daughter of the family that owns the camp and employs many residents. What makes this disappearance even more intriguing is that Barbara’s older brother went missing similarly fourteen years ago and was never found.

As the search for Barbara begins, the novel unfolds into a thrilling drama, delving into the deeply buried secrets of the Van Laar family and the blue-collar community working in its shadow. This novel is said to be Liz Moore’s most ambitious and wide-reaching work yet.

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Checkout 19: A Novel

Read: December 2022

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Checkout 19: A Novel

by Claire-Louise Bennett

Checkout 19: A Novel by Claire-Louise Bennett, a New York Times Best Ten Best Books of 2022; the newspaper highlights the novel’s “unusual setting: the human mind — a brilliant, surprising, weird and very funny one. All the words one might use to describe this book — experimental, autofictional, surrealist — fail to convey the sheer pleasure of ‘Checkout 19.'” I fully agree with this description and found myself living in my mind.

Since Jan died in May of 2021, I have found myself with no one to talk to about the day-to-day events that consume so much of our lives. Checkout 19: A Novel reminded me that I have only been carrying those intimate conversations in my mind. Is it surreal? Yes. Yes, it is. Reading this novel helped me to accept the importance of those conversations. The new characters and scenarios I conjure are less creative than Ms. Claire-Louise Bennett’s

Goodreads describes Checkout 19: A Novel as the adventures of a young woman discovering her genius through the people she meets–and dreams up–along the way. Checkout 19 is a radical affirmation of the power of the imagination, and the magic escapes those who master it open to us all.

I recommend this book.

The Goodreads summary provides an overview,

In a working-class town in a county west of London, a schoolgirl scribbles stories in the back pages of her exercise book, intoxicated by the first sparks of her imagination. As she grows, everything and everyone she encounters become fuel for a burning talent. The large Russian man in the ancient maroon car who careens around the grocery store where she works as a checkout clerk, and slips her a copy of Beyond Good and Evil. The growing heaps of other books in which she loses-and finds-herself. Even the derailing of a friendship, in a devastating violation. The thrill of learning to conjure characters and scenarios in her head is matched by the exhilaration of forging her own way in the world, the two kinds of ingenuity kindling to a brilliant conflagration.


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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I receive a commission when you buy a book or product using a link on this page. Thank you for supporting Sharing Jan’s Love blog.



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Judaism Is About Love

Read: October 2024

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Judaism Is About Love

by Rabbi Shai Held

Today, I embarked on a transformative journey with Rabbi Shai Held‘s book, “Judaism Is About Love.Rav Uri‘s mention of this book during this year’s Yom Kippur service at Temple Sha’arey Shalom sparked a profound connection to the Divine, as echoed in my writings “Love Can Conquer Even Death” and “High Holiday Meditation Cleanses My Soul.” Rabbi Held‘s book, which focuses on love, meaning, purpose, and faith, has guided my quest to become the best version of myself.

“Judaism Is About Love” is a beacon of understanding, offering a profound and groundbreaking perspective on Jewish life. It challenges a long-standing misinterpretation that has shaped the Western narrative: Christianity is the religion of love, while Judaism is the religion of law. Rabbi Shai Held, a leading Jewish thinker in America, passionately argues for correcting this misconception. He asserts that love is not just a part of Judaism but a fundamental aspect, thus reclaiming the heart of the Jewish tradition.

With a unique blend of intellectual rigor, respect for tradition, and a vibrant Judaism, Held‘s aim is clear: to reclaim Judaism in its authentic form. He illustrates that love is the foundation of the true Jewish faith, influencing our unique perspectives on injustice, protest, grace, family life, responsibilities toward neighbors and enemies, and chosenness.

Judaism Is About Love” is a work of ambition and revelation. It serves as a beacon, illuminating the true essence of Judaism. More than just a book, it is an act of restoration from within, reclaiming the authentic form of Judaism.

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