Where Have I Been, Where Am I Going?

Where Have I Been, Where Am I Going?

I Am OK, Alone But Not Lonely

Estimated reading time: 2 minutes, 35 seconds

As a child, I occasionally experienced homesickness, but as an adult, it’s a feeling I rarely encounter. However, the pain of longing to return home is still vivid in my memory. Thursday, while at Venue 104, Franco gave me some cookies that crumbled in my hand. The taste and texture of those cookies instantly transported me back to a time when I would crumble with homesickness after my wife died. The experience was so powerful that I could taste it.

Yesterday, I finished reading “After Annie: A Novel” by Anna Quindlen, a poignant story about a young family’s grief journey. Ms. Quindlen used the metaphor of grief being like homesickness, which was so vivid that I could almost feel their agony.

Maybe grief was like homesickness, something that wasn’t just about a specific person, but about losing that feeling that you were where you belonged, even if where you belonged seemed as every day as brushing your teeth. Sometimes, he felt like that was what was missing, that he’d had a life and a family, and it had been a wheel, and then the hub of the wheel was gone, and it was just a collection of spokes and a collection of spokes didn’t spin, didn’t take you anywhere. “After Annie: A Novel” by Anna Quindlen

After Annie: A NovelLosing a loved one is the most challenging experience in my life. After my beloved Jan passed away, I felt an intense longing for home. Our apartment, once a haven for us, now felt empty without her. I struggled to come to terms with her absence and found myself feeling lost and alone.

However, the morning after her funeral, I decided to walk outside. The fresh air and sunshine helped to clear my mind and ease my racing thoughts. As time went by, I found small ways to rebuild my life. I started by reading books that helped me to understand the grieving process and cope with my emotions. I also began journaling, which allowed me to express my feelings and thoughts safely and privately.

After feeling lost and disconnected, I decided to get involved with Bridges, a local organization that assists the homeless population and aims to eradicate homelessness. Volunteering with this organization gave me a sense of direction and connected me with others facing similar struggles. These seemingly small steps ultimately played a significant role in helping me rediscover a meaningful and purposeful life.

Despite feeling like my life had been shattered into a million pieces, I found the strength to pick up the fragments and piece them back together. Though it was not an easy task, I persevered and discovered joy in the simple things in life, such as spending time with friends, attending religious services, and taking long walks in the park.

Although I will always cherish Jan’s memory and our love, she would want me to keep living and be proud of the life I’ve built in the thirty-three months since she’s been gone. I am grateful for the support of my friends and family, the lessons I’ve learned through this experience, and the strength I’ve discovered within myself.

Health, Community, Novelty, Purpose

I am fully aware that, eventually, my body will falter. My legs will cease to bear me with ease, my eyes will lose their sharpness, and the words on the page will blur. However, until that moment arrives, I pledge not to age gracefully but with unyielding determination to make the most out of my life.

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Snow Angel Blessing

I Am OK, Alone But Not Lonely

Estimated reading time: 2 minutes, 35 seconds

Snow Angel Blessing

After that, we spent the evening talking and laughing, enjoying each other's company. Looking back, I realize it was a turning point in our almost half-century relationship. The rest, as they say, is history.

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Where Have I Been, Where Am I Going?
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The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao

Read: August 2024

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The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao

by Junot Diaz

Today, I started reading Junot Diaz‘s The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao, one of The New York Times’ 100 Best Books of the Century. The book also won a Pulitzer Prize. Oscar is a sweet but disastrously overweight ghetto nerd who—from the New Jersey home he shares with his old-world mother and rebellious sister—dreams of becoming the Dominican J.R.R. Tolkien and, most of all, finding love.

But Oscar may never get what he wants. Blame the fukú—a curse that has haunted Oscar’s family for generations, following them on their epic journey from Santo Domingo to the USA. Encapsulating Dominican-American history, The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao opens our eyes to an astonishing vision of the contemporary American experience. It explores the endless human capacity to persevere—and risk it all—in the name of love.

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Time of the Child

Read: December 2024

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Time of the Child

by Niall Williams

Today, I dove into “Time of the Child” by Niall Williams, and I can already tell it will be a journey worth taking. This beautifully crafted novel, penned by the same author who brought us “This Is Happiness,” unfolds during a magical Christmas in the quaint Irish town of Faha. At its heart is a touching story about a father and daughter that beautifully explores the idea that miracles can touch our lives, no matter our beliefs.

As I turned the pages, I thought about how this enchanting tale would evoke love’s profound and transformative power when I light my Hanukkah candles. It promises to be a genuinely uplifting read!

Doctor Jack Troy was born and raised in Faha, but his responsibilities toward the sick and his care for the dying have always set him apart from the town. His eldest daughter, Ronnie, has grown up in her father’s shadow and remains there, having missed one chance at love and declined another marriage proposal from an unsuitable man.

During the Advent season of 1962, as the town prepared for Christmas, Ronnie and Doctor Troy’s lives were turned upside down when a baby arrived on their doorstep. As winter passes, the lives of the father and daughter, their understanding of family, and their roles in the community are changed forever.

Set throughout one December in the same village as Williams’ beloved “This Is Happiness,” “Time of the Child” offers a tender return to Faha for readers familiar with its charms and serves as a heartwarming welcome for new readers exploring it for the first time.

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The Pursuit of Happiness

Read: January 2025

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The Pursuit of Happiness

by Jeffrey Rosen

Today, I started reading Jeffrey Rosen‘s book, “The Pursuit of Happiness: How Classical Writers on Virtue Inspired the Lives of the Founders.” This New York Times bestseller examines what “the pursuit of happiness” meant to our nation’s Founders, how that iconic phrase influenced their lives, and how it provided the foundation for our democracy—a quest for being good rather than merely feeling good.

The Declaration of Independence identifies “the pursuit of happiness” as one of our unalienable rights, alongside life and liberty. Jeffrey Rosen, president of the National Constitution Center, profiles six of the most influential Founding Fathers—Benjamin Franklin, George Washington, John Adams, Thomas Jefferson, James Madison, and Alexander Hamilton—to explore what pursuing happiness meant to them. This work provides “the best and most readable introduction to the ideas of the Founders that we have” (Gordon Wood, author of “Power and Liberty“).

By examining the classical Greek and Roman moral philosophers who inspired the Founders, Rosen illustrates how they understood the pursuit of happiness as a quest for being good rather than simply feeling good. It is about striving for lifelong virtue instead of seeking short-term pleasures. Among these virtues were the habits of industry, temperance, moderation, and sincerity, which the Founders regarded as essential components of personal growth, character development, and self-mastery. They believed that self-governance in politics required self-governance on an individual level. For all six Founders, the pursuit of virtue was fundamentally incompatible with the enslavement of African Americans, although the Virginians failed to uphold their principles in this regard.

Ken Burns describes “The Pursuit of Happiness” as “immensely readable and thoughtful. It is more than just an analysis of the famous phrase in the Declaration. It is a revealing journey into the Founders’ minds, offering a deep and fresh understanding of the foundations of our democracy.

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The Faraway World

Read: January 2023

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The Faraway World: Stories

by Patricia Engel

The Faraway World: Stories by Patricia Engel was released six days ago. The Faraway World is an exquisite collection of ten haunting, award-winning short stories set across the Americas and linked by themes of migration, sacrifice, and moral compromise. I highly recommend this collection of short stories. All ten are ones I would read again. As Leigh Newman wrote in her review in the NYTimes, The Faraway World is “a collection about the Latin American diaspora.”

In addition, Leigh Newman described The Faraway World proves that Engel, like one of her characters, is capable of noticing “that between two people, a look reveals more than a fingerprint.” The first story in the collection, “Aida,” is about two twins, one of whom goes missing. Once I read this story, I could not stop until I had read all ten.

The stories are based in Cuba, Colombia, and the US. I know a few NJ settings that gave more meaning to these stories. I felt like I was in Cuba and Colombia, which I had never visited.

NPR interviewed Patricia Engel. She described how she wrote the stories.

They came to me at different points when I was thinking about other things. But of course, they are connected by this – the motivating force for change, desire, and the ever-changing conditions of identity and movements and changing geography and landscape and diaspora. Those are things that I explore in all my writing, and it’s something that I explore in my life. So, of course, it permeates my stories.


The Goodreads summary provides an overview,

Two Colombian ex-pats meet as strangers on the rainy streets of New York City, both burdened with traumatic pasts. In Cuba, a woman discovers her deceased brother’s bones have been stolen, and the love of her life returns from Ecuador for a one-night visit. A cash-strapped couple hustles in Miami to life-altering ends.

The Faraway World is a collection of arresting stories from The New York Times bestselling author of Infinite Country, Patricia Engel, “a gifted storyteller whose writing shines even in the darkest corners” (The Washington Post). Intimate and panoramic, these stories bring to life the liminality of regret, the vibrancy of the community, and the epic deeds and quiet moments of love.


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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The Sunset Years of Agnes Sharp

Read: August 2023

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The Sunset Years of Agnes Sharp

by Leonie Swann

I began reading The Sunset Years of Agnes Sharp by Leonie Swann, translated by Amy Bojang. The book follows a unique group of senior citizens as they try to solve one murder while hiding another, all with the assistance of an innovative tortoise. The mystery is full of twists and turns and is cleverly written by the same author who wrote Three Bags Full, adding a darkly humorous touch to the plot.

It has been an eventful morning for Agnes Sharp and the other inhabitants of Sunset Hall, a house shared by the old and unruly in the sleepy English countryside. Although they have had some issues (misplaced reading glasses, conflicting culinary tastes, decreasing mobility, and gluttonous grandsons), nothing prepares them for an unexpected visit from a police officer with some shocking news. A body has been discovered next door. Everyone puts on a long face for show, but they are secretly relieved the body in question is not the one they’re currently hiding in the shed (sorry, Lillith).

The answer to their little problem with Lillith may have fallen right into their laps. All they have to do is find out who murdered their neighbor so they can pin Lillith’s death on them, thus killing two (old) birds with one stone (cold killer).

Agnes and her group of elderly friends are eager to begin their plan. They believe that creating a mystery will divert suspicion away from themselves. To investigate, they will venture out of their comfort zone and into the less-than-ideal village of Duck End. Along the way, they will encounter suspicious bakers, malfunctioning stairlifts, incompetent criminals, the local authorities, and their hidden secrets.


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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I receive a commission when you buy a book or product using a link on this page. Thank you for supporting Sharing Jan’s Love blog.



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Normal Rules Don't Apply: Stories

Read: September 2023

Normal Rules Don’t Apply: Stories

by Kate Atkinson

Today, I commended reading Normal Rules Don’t Apply: Stories by Kate Atkinson, is a dazzling collection of eleven interconnected stories from the bestselling, award-winning author of Shrines of Gaiety and Life After Life, with everything that readers love about her novels—the inventiveness, the verbal felicity, the sharp observations on human nature, and the deeply satisfying emotional wallop.

Nothing is quite as it seems in this collection of eleven dazzling stories. We meet a queen who makes a bargain she cannot keep, a secretary who watches over the life she has just left, and a man who bets on a horse that may—or may not—have spoken to him. Everything that readers love about the novels of Kate Atkinson is here—the inventiveness, the verbal felicity, the sharp observations on human nature, and the deeply satisfying emotional wallop.

A startling and funny feast for the imagination, these stories conjure a multiverse of subtly connected worlds while illuminating the webs of chance and connection among us all.


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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I receive a commission when you buy a book or product using a link on this page. Thank you for supporting Sharing Jan’s Love blog.



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