walking

Walking 1,400 days without a Break is a Testament to the Human Spirit!

What led me to start walking? The answer is simple yet profoundly moving: it was the morning after my wife’s funeral. I felt like a lost soul, wandering through life without purpose or hope. Fast-forward to today, March 5, 2025—I’ve just completed my 1,400th consecutive day of walking. This milestone signifies my conscientious resilience journey, the emotional and physical strength I’ve gained,

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Inopportune Events Shake the Foundation of My Life

When I walked into my home, I did my usual routine. I asked Siri to play WNYC-FM, pulled The New York Times from its blue bag, and set the table for the second half of my breakfast. Today, marking the final day of September, I couldn’t help but exclaim to the silent room, “Not a bad stroll to commemorate my half-birthday.” As I removed my Ghost Max 2 walking shoes, I detected an unfamiliar discomfort – a blister, a sensation entirely foreign to me despite my daily walks spanning over three years.

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Three Years, Three Months, 12 Days That Transformed My Life

As I walked towards the intersection of Hickory and High Streets in Cranford, I saw a young boy confidently riding his bike while his mother walked alongside, holding the leash of their lively Pekingese. As usual, I waved and said, “Good morning, have a nice day.” The mother returned the gesture, and I couldn’t help but notice the young boy’s impressive biking skills. “Perhaps he’ll be competing in the Olympics in four years,” I mused out loud. He’s certainly giving it his all,” she replied before sharing that it was her son’s seventh birthday. I wish you a happy birthday and many more to come,” I said as I crossed High Street, completing the first two miles of my walk.

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After Three Years
How Am I Doing?

On a significant note, I participated in the Passport to Wellness Walk this past Saturday, a community fundraising event sponsored by MHANJ. The message on my t-shirt, “Wellness—A Journey Worth Taking,” Resonated deeply. The compass symbol on the shirt, representing the essential elements of wellness, was a powerful reminder that we’re all on this journey together, striving for balance in physical, intellectual, emotional, spiritual, environmental, financial, occupational, and social aspects of life.

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Aftermirth

Read: August 2022

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Aftermirth by Hillary Jordan

by Hillary Jordan

Aftermirth by Hillary Jordan is a book about grief as the two protagonists take a road trip that is a darkly funny journey of healing that takes them deep into the heart of their suffering and others, and then beyond it, to a place of peace and laughter. I had just finished reading When She Woke by Ms. Jordan and having enjoyed that book, reading a second one by the same author seemed reasonable.

When I selected this short novel to read, I questioned if it was a good choice for me.

I found it easier to read and, in some ways, helpful. It was like meeting fellow widows from my Zoom grief groups in person at Camp Widow. The ability to laugh about our loss and cry openly is essential to meeting fellow benefits.

Michael Larssen, the narrator, raised a question I have not and still do not want to consider. What if I am still alive, Jan was a great love but is not the love of my life?

“You can’t know that he was the love of your life, and do you know why? Because guess what, you aren’t dead yet. You may feel dead right now, and believe me I’ve been there, but the fact is, until you’re lying under a tombstone of your own you can’t be sure about anything. You could prick your finger on one of your roses tomorrow, and as you’re climbing the stairs to get a Band-Aid, you trip over one of the pugs and tumble to your death. Or you could meet a man in the checkout line at the grocery store–hell, you could meet a woman even and fall madly in love with her and end up with six kids and twenty grandkids. Michael looks over at Elena, then back at George. You just don’t know, George. That’s the thing. None of us does.”— Aftermirth (Kindle Single) by Hillary Jordan

Despite my anxiety about considering this disturbing question, I highly recommend Aftermirth by Hillary Jordan.

The Goodreads summary provides an overview.

I stopped being funny the day my wife was electrocuted by her underwire bra.” So begins “Aftermirth,” a dark comedy that explores the absurdity of death through the eyes of thirty-one-year-old comedian, writer, and actor Michael Larssen. What is funny to the rest of the world is devastating to Michael, who loves his wife deeply, exceptionally her bright, rippling, abandoned laughter, which captivated him from the first time he heard it. In the aftermath of her death, he loses his sense of humor and his career.

Then, after two years of mourning her, he sees an article in the paper about a factory worker named Julio Santiago who fell into a giant vat of dough and was kneaded to death. For reasons Michael doesn’t understand, he decides to go to the man’s wake. There he meets and bonds with Julio’s twenty-nine-year-old daughter Elena, a law student who is reeling from her father’s unexpected and preposterous death.

Three months later, she calls him out of the blue and suggests that the two of them drive to North Carolina to speak with another survivor like themselves Elena has found on the Internet. Their road trip is a darkly funny journey of healing that takes them deep into the heart of their grief and others and then beyond it to a place of peace and laughter.


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A Gentleman in Moscow

Read: November 2022

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A Gentleman in Moscow

by Amor Towles

A Gentleman in Moscow by Amor Towles is a transporting novel about a man sentenced by the government to spend the rest of his life inside a luxury hotel. In 1922, a Bolshevik tribunal deemed Count Alexander Rostov an unrepentant aristocrat. His house arrest in the Metropol, a grand hotel across the street from the Kremlin. Rostov, an indomitable man of erudition and wit, has never worked a day and must now live in an attic room while some of the most tumultuous decades in Russian history are unfolding outside the hotel’s doors.

During my grief journey, I have on occasion felt as if I was a prisoner in my apartment, so I found this novel to be one that provided me an alternative to understanding what it would have been like to be under house arrest as Count Rostov was.

A Gentleman in Moscow was a page-turner. The plot captures a unique historical time and how Count Rostov makes the best of a bad situation. I highly recommend this novel.

The Goodreads summary provides an overview.

With his breakout debut novel, Rules of Civility, Amor Towles established himself as a master of absorbing, sophisticated fiction, bringing late 1930s Manhattan to life with a splendid atmosphere and an excellent command of style. As NPR commented, readers and critics were enchanted, “Towles writes with grace and verve about the mores and manners of a society on the cusp of radical change.”

A Gentleman in Moscow immerses us in another elegantly drawn era with the story of Count Alexander Rostov. When, in 1922, he is deemed an unrepentant aristocrat by a Bolshevik tribunal, the count is sentenced to house arrest in the Metropol, a grand hotel across the street from the Kremlin. Rostov, an indomitable man of erudition and wit, has never worked a day. He must now live in an attic room while some of the most tumultuous decades in Russian history are unfolding outside the hotel’s doors. Unexpectedly, his reduced circumstances provide him a doorway into a much larger world of emotional discovery.

Brimming with humor, a glittering cast of characters, and one beautifully rendered scene after another, this singular novel casts a spell as it relates to the count’s endeavor to gain a deeper understanding of what it means to be a man of purpose.


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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Stone Yard Devotional: A Novel

Read: February 2025

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Stone Yard Devotional: A Novel

by Charlotte Wood

Today, I dove into Charlotte Wood‘s captivating novel, “Stone Yard Devotional.” I couldn’t resist picking it up after discovering a glowing review by Joumana Khatib. She expressed her fondness for the book in the New York Times Book Review Newsletter, saying, “I’m still so enamored of Charlotte Wood’s novel.” It’s impressive that this work was a finalist for the Booker Prize last year! I’m eager to read the book to determine if it is a “love story,” as Ms. Khatib believes.

Burnt out and needing a retreat, a middle-aged woman leaves Sydney to return to her childhood home, taking refuge in a small religious community hidden away on the stark plains of rural Australia. She does not believe in God and is unfamiliar with the concept of prayer, finding herself living this strange, reclusive existence almost by accident.

However, her secluded life is disrupted by three significant events. First, a terrible mouse plague marks a new battle against the growing infestation daily. Second, the skeletal remains of a sister who disappeared decades ago and was presumed murdered return. Finally, a troubling visitor brings her further into her past.

Meditative, moving, and finely observed, “Stone Yard Devotional” is a seminal novel from a writer of rare power. It explores the meaning of retreating from the world, forgiveness’s true nature, and grief‘s lasting effects on the human soul.



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What's Mine and Yours

Read: February 2022

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What’s Mine and Yours

by Naima Coster

What’s Mine and Yours by Naima Coster is one of the best books I have read in the last few years. At this moment in my life, family means more than ever. This book explores how families can collapse and find ways to reunite. Although my life circumstances are the polar opposite of the protagonists, the book’s central themes resonated with me.

The focus on integration in this Millenium is a subject that needs to be discussed openly and honestly. The racist response of some of the parents is told in a way that clarifies the pain that that can cause.

Even the parents who favor integration have their flaws, which are passed on to their children.

The children, especially Noelle and Gee, oppose their parent’s actions. The sins of their parents are sowed upon them as well.

I have placed this book on my list of novels for reading later this year or n 2023. Its themes are so strong that a second reading is required to engage with its multiple levels fully.

This is a Goodreads summary.

A community in the Piedmont of North Carolina rises in outrage as a county initiative draws students from the primarily Black east side of town into predominantly white high schools on the west. For two students, Gee and Noelle, the integration sets off a chain of events that will tie their two families together in unexpected ways over the next twenty years.

The debate is Jade, Gee’s steely, ambitious mother, on one side of the integration. In the aftermath of a severe loss, she is determined to give her son the tools he’ll need to survive in America as a sensitive, anxious, young Black man. On the other side is Noelle’s headstrong mother, Lacey May, a white woman who refuses to see her half-Latina daughters as anything but white. She strives to protect them as she couldn’t protect herself from the influence of their charming but unreliable father, Robbie.

When Gee and Noelle join the school play meant to bridge the divide between new and old students, their paths collide, and their two seemingly disconnected families begin to form deeply knotted, messy ties that will shape the trajectory of their adult lives. And their mothers-each determined to see her child inherit a better life-will make choices that will haunt them for decades to come.

As love is built and lost, and the past never too far behind, What’s Mine and Yours is an expansive, vibrant tapestry that moves between the years, from the foothills of North Carolina to Atlanta, Los Angeles, and Paris. It explores every family’s unique organism: what breaks them apart and how they come back together.

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Luky Us

Read: March 2022

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Lucky Us: A Novel

by Amy Bloom

Having surpassed my Goodreads 2022 reading goal, I wanted a lite, historical fiction book and found this one in the e-libraryLucky Us by Amy Bloom is a book that hooked me on the opening line – “My father’s wife died. My mother said we should drive down to his place and see what might be in it for us.” I enjoyed reading it and highly recommend it.

The first section in Hollywood was the one I found less appealing. Partly that is because I identified with Eva, and she does not fulfill her leading role until the last two sections. Its depiction of how people survived the way years by sometimes is a reminder of our inner resilience.

Goodreads provides the following summary.

So begins this remarkable novel by Amy Bloom, whose critically acclaimed Away was called “a literary triumph” (The New York Times). Lucky Us is a brilliantly written, deeply moving, fantastically funny novel of love, heartbreak, and luck.

Disappointed by their families, Iris, the hopeful star and Eva the sidekick, journey through 1940s America in search of fame and fortune. Iris’s ambitions take the pair across the America of Reinvention in a stolen station wagon, from small-town Ohio to an unexpected and sensuous Hollywood, and to the jazz clubs and golden mansions of Long Island.

With their friends in high and low places, Iris and Eva stumble and shine through a landscape of big dreams, scandals, betrayals, and war. Filled with gorgeous writing, memorable characters, and surprising events, Lucky Us is a thrilling and resonant novel about success and failure, good luck and bad, the creation of a family, and the pleasures and inevitable perils of family life, conventional and otherwise. From Brooklyn’s beauty parlors to London’s West End, a group of unforgettable people love, lie, cheat, and survive in this story of our fragile, absurd, heroic species.

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Don't Be a Stranger: A Novel

Read: October 2024

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Don’t Be a Stranger: A Novel

by Susan Minot

Today, I began reading “Don’t Be a Stranger: A Novel” by Susan Minot, a captivating new work by the author of ‘Evening.’ Known for her lyrical prose and exploration of complex human relationships, Minot’s latest novel revolves around a woman involved in a love affair during midlife. It is a radiant tale that explores themes of erotic obsession, the desire for intimacy, communication, and oblivion, which will resonate with fans of Miranda July‘s ‘All Fours,’ a book I have also read.

Ivy Cooper is 52 years old when Ansel Fleming first enters her life. Twenty years her junior, a musician newly released from prison on a minor drug charge, Ansel’s beguiling good looks and quiet intensity instantly seduce her. Despite the gulf between their ages and experience, their physical chemistry is overpowering. Over the heady weeks and months that follow, Ivy finds her life bifurcated by his presence: On the surface, she is a responsible mother, managing the demands of friends, an ex-husband, and home, but emotionally, psychologically, sexually, she is consumed by desire and increasingly alive only in the stolen moments-out-of-time, with Ansel in her bed.

Don’t Be a Stranger is a gripping, sensual, and provocative work from one of the most remarkable voices in contemporary fiction.

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