wedding

I am an Incurable Romantic, and My Life is an Open Book

The essence of life lies in living it to the fullest, but what if we find ourselves living it all alone? The words of Lauren Groff from her book “The Vaster Wilds” resonate with my situation, as she rightly pointed out that to exist alone and survive is not the same as being alive. Although I strive to make the most of my life by reading, writing, walking, offering help to others, and serving as the board chair for Bridges, I still feel that I am merely surviving from one day to the next.

Continue reading →

Love Warmed Our Heart on a Cold Lincoln’s Birthday in 1975

During the winter of 1975, just six months before our wedding, I went for a walk with Jan, my beloved partner, in the tranquil surroundings of Ft. Greene Park, across the street from her apartment. The air was frigid, and the ground was covered with a thick blanket of snow. The sudden winter storm had brought the heaviest snowfall of the year, with a whopping 7.8 inches of snow. Jan, a drug counselor at Brooklyn Automotive, had taken the day off for the holiday. Walking on the un-shoveled snow, it felt like we had stepped into a scene from the timeless classic novel and popular movie, “Dr. Zhivago.” The only sound we could hear was the crisp crunch of our boots on the icy terrain, which added to the serene and peaceful atmosphere.

Continue reading →

After Forty Years
Together, Again

“I have one last question,” said the NPR reporter hired for my retirement diner interview. We were seated facing each other in comfy, purple chairs. Despite my concern that my purple shirt and tie might clash with the chair, I felt very comfortable until she broached her last question. I had even fancied purchasing an armchair like the one I was sitting in as it was extremely relaxing. But now I wanted the interview to be over. 

Continue reading →

Sweet Honeymoon Memories 
Lead to a New Adventures

“Welcome to the Promised Land,” said Kim, the Pennsylvania state park ranger behind the desk, as we entered the log cabin office. Kim appeared to be a few years older than Jan or me. Like me, she had red hair, barely longer than mine. The sunlight from the window created shadows of the three of us on the eastern wall. I had been here previously but only to swim in the lake and hike around the immediate environs.

Continue reading →

The Jan Lilien Education Fund!

Celestial Navigation

Read: June 2021

Get this book

Celestial Navigation

by Anne Tyler

 

Celestial Navigation by Anne Tyler is a book I found on our bookshelf about a month after my wife passed away. The title and a mental note that my wife had recommended it made it an easy choice.

One of the main characters, thirty-eight-year-old Jeremy Pauling, had never left home. In the early stages of grief, I was nowhere near making a similar choice and remaining housebound. However, if I had been, this book would have caused me to reject that idea immediately.

After the death of his mother, he takes in Mary Tell and her daughter as boarders. The other boarders quickly realize that Jeremy is falling in love with Mary despite his fragility and inexperience with women.

To share more about the book would reveal details that might be spoilers.

For me, the book was a good read and one that reminded me that love is both beautiful and complicated. Although Jan and I shared passion was nothing like theirs, it was helpful to compare their love and ours when my loss seemed impossible.

Subscribe

Contact Us

×
Apples Never Fall

Read: January 2022

Get this book

Apples Never Fall

by Liane Moriarty

Apples Never Fall by Liane Moriarty is a novel that looks at marriage, siblings, and how the people we love the most can hurt us the deepest. The Delaney family love one another dearly—it’s just that sometimes they want to murder each other.

If your mother was missing, would you tell the police? Even if the most obvious suspect was your father? The four grown Delaney siblings face this dilemma.

This book is a page-turner. With all of the characters having issues unrelated to their mission mother, they have a life with many mysteries and rivalries. I sometimes wanted to know more about their lives instead of the missing mum.

Although I will not reveal the conclusion, it is clear how a missing parent could appear to be the crime of the century.

According to Goodreads,

The Delaneys are fixtures in their community. The parents, Stan and Joy, are the envy of all of their friends. They’re killers on the tennis court, and off it, their chemistry is palpable. But after fifty years of marriage, they’ve finally sold their famed tennis academy and are ready to start what should be the golden years of their lives. So why are Stan and Joy so miserable?

The four Delaney children―Amy, Logan, Troy, and Brooke―were tennis stars in their own right, yet as their father will tell you, none of them had what it took to go all the way. But that’s okay, now that they’re all successful grown-ups. In addition, there is the beautiful possibility of grandchildren on the horizon.

One night a stranger named Savannah knocks on Stan and Joy’s door, bleeding after a fight with her boyfriend. The Delaneys are more than happy to give her the small kindness she sorely needs. If only that were all, she wanted.

Later, when Joy goes missing and Savannah is nowhere to be found, the police question the one person who remains: Stan. But for someone who claims to be innocent, he, like many spouses, seems to have a lot to hide. Two of the Delaney children think their father is innocent. Two are not so sure―but as the two sides square off against each other in perhaps their most important match ever, all of the Delaneys will start to reexamine their shared family history in a very new light.

I recommend this book.

Subscribe

Contact Us

When you buy a book or product using a link on this page, I receive a commission. Thank you for supporting Sharing Jan’s Love blog.

×
Table for Two: Fictions

Read: April 2024

Get this book

Table for Two: Fictions

by Amor Towles

Today, I began reading “Table for Two: Fictions” by Amor Towles. As a fan of his previous work, “A Gentleman in Moscow,” I was excited to delve into some of his shorter fiction. The book contains six stories from New York City and a novella from the Golden Age Hollywood. “Table for Two” is another captivating addition to Towles’s collection of stylish and transporting fiction written with his signature wit, humor, and sophistication.

The New York stories, set primarily in the year 2000, explore the profound consequences that can result from fleeting encounters and the intricate dynamics of compromise that underpin modern marriages. These narratives are sure to evoke strong emotions and leave a lasting impression.

In the novel “Rules of Civility,” the resilient Evelyn Ross departs from New York City in September 1938, intending to return to her home in Indiana. However, as her train reaches Chicago, where her parents eagerly await her, she spontaneously decides to extend her journey to Los Angeles. “Eve in Hollywood,” narrated from seven different perspectives, reveals how Eve forges a new path for herself and others in a gripping noirish tale that traverses the movie sets, bungalows, and dive bars of Los Angeles.

×
The Pull of the Stars

Read: June 2022

Get this book

The Pull of the Stars

by Emma Donoghue

After Jan’s death and over two years of COVID, The Pull of the Stars might not seem like a good read for me. But I had placed this book on my to-read list a few months ago.  The Pull of the Stars by Emma Donoghue is set in 1918 in Dublin; a maternity ward at the height of the Great Flu is a small world of work, risk, death, and unlooked-for love. It was a page-turner that engrossed me at that moment. When I reached the last page, I wanted the story to continue. 

The details about childbirth, life, and death were riveting. All three of the main characters are ones that I could have imagined in an episode of Call the Midwife. That Dr. Lynn was a natural person underscores the depth of Ms. Donoghue’s research and writing skills. 

Julie and Bridie’s characters were so real it was difficult to believe that they were not also based on natural persons. 

I strongly recommend The Pull of the Stars.

The Goodreads summary provides an overview.

In an Ireland ravaged by war and disease, Nurse Julia Power works at an understaffed hospital in the city center, where expectant mothers who have come down with the terrible new Flu are quarantined together. Into Julia’s regimented world step two outsiders—Doctor Kathleen Lynn, a rumored Rebel on the run from the police, and a young volunteer helper, Bridie Sweeney.

With tireless tenderness and humanity, carers and mothers somehow do their impossible work. In the darkness and intensity of this minor ward, these women change each other’s lives in unexpected ways over three days. They lose patients to this baffling pandemic but shepherd new life into a fearful world.

In The Pull of the Stars, Emma Donoghue again finds the light in the darkness in this new classic of hope and survival against all odds.


Subscribe

Contact Us

When you buy a book or product using a link on this page, I receive a commission. Thank you for supporting Sharing Jan’s Love blog.

×
Martyr! A Novel

Read: October 2024

Get this book

Martyr! A Novel

by Kaveh Akbar

Today, I started reading “Martyr! A Novel” by Kaveh Akbar, the last of one of the five finalists for the 2024 National Book Award for Fiction I have read. This is also the 79th book I have read this year, surpassing my record from last year. Kaveh Akbar‘s “Martyr!” is a tribute to our pursuit of meaning in faith, art, ourselves, and others. The story follows Cyrus Shams, the newly sober, orphaned son of Iranian immigrants.

He is guided by the voices of artists, poets, and kings as he embarks on a search for a family secret, which leads him to a terminally ill painter living out her final days in the Brooklyn Museum.

Cyrus Shams, our protagonist, grapples with an inheritance of violence and loss. His mother’s tragic death and his father’s limited life in America have left him with scars. He’s a drunk, a person with a substance use disorder, and a poet, but above all, he’s a human being on a journey of self-discovery. His fascination with martyrs leads him to explore the mysteries of his past, including his uncle’s inspiring yet haunting role on Iranian battlefields and a painting that suggests his mother may not have been who or what she seemed.

Martyr!” is a novel that’s not just electrifying and funny but also wholly original. It’s a testament to Kaveh Akbar‘s unique storytelling and heralds the arrival of an essential new voice in contemporary fiction. Get ready to be captivated by his narrative prowess.

×
The Furrows- A Novel

Read: October 2022

Get this book

The Furrows: A Novel

by Namwali Serpell

The Furrows: A Novel by Namwali Serpell is a bold exploration of memory and mourning that twists unexpectedly into a story of mistaken identity, double consciousness, and the wishful—and sometimes willful—longing for reunion with those we’ve lost. Namwali Serpell’s remarkable new novel captures the uncanny experience of grief, the way the past breaks over the present like waves in the sea. I highly recommend this book.

The Furrows: A Novel reminded me of my longing to be reunited with Jan. I know it is impossible, but that does not keep me from desiring the unattainable. Reading this novel helped me remind me that Jan is still with me in spirit and that is far better than reuniting with her.

The Goodreads summary provides an overview,

Cassandra Williams is twelve, and her little brother Wayne is seven. One day, an accident happens when they’re alone together, and Wayne is lost forever. Or so it seems. Though his body is never recovered, their mother, unable to give up hope, launches an organization dedicated to missing children. Their father leaves and starts another family somewhere else.

As C grows older, she sees her brother everywhere: in coffee shops, airplane aisles, subway cars, and cities on either coast. Here is her brother’s more aging face, the light in his eyes, his lanky limbs, the way he seems to recognize her too. But it can’t be, of course. Or can it? Disaster strikes again, and C meets a man, both mysterious and strangely familiar, who is also searching for someone and his place in the world. His name is Wayne.

Namwali Serpell’s remarkable novel captures the ongoing and uncanny experience of grief–the past breaking over the present like waves in the sea. The Furrows is a bold and beautiful exploration of memory and mourning that twists unexpectedly into a masterful story of black identity, double consciousness, and the wishful and sometimes willful longing for reunion with those we’ve lost.


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

Subscribe

Contact Us

I receive a commission when you buy a book or product using a link on this page. Thank you for supporting Sharing Jan’s Love blog.

×