Is Gratitude in My DNA!

Is Gratitude in My DNA!

Estimated reading time: 1 minute, 14 seconds

Expressing gratitude is so habitual that it might be a part of my DNA. Each morning, my first thought is to be thankful for the new day, appreciating that I can still walk long distances at my age. This exercise tests my endurance and gives me another reason to be grateful.

When I take walks around town, it clears my mind and allows me to reflect on my day. We do not live in isolation but in communities, as I meet other walkers. Yesterday, I was fortunate enough to bump into a friend that I needed to contact while on my daily walk. The importance of friendships, particularly for widows like myself, cannot be overstated.

The love of my late spouse, Jan, is at the center of my being. Before I go to bed each night, I reflect on my day and remind myself of how grateful I am to be alive, have neighbors, and have the enduring love of Jan.


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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Gratitude for All of Life’s Blessings

Thanksgiving has been my favorite holiday since I was a child.

It is not the large table of food that made me prefer this holiday.

Thanksgiving is a collective day to express our gratitude for the blessings we have been granted.

In his proclamation almost a century and a half ago, Abraham Lincoln established a holiday amid war "to observe the last Thursday of November next, as a day of Thanksgiving and Praise to our beneficent Father who dwelleth in the Heavens."

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Is Gratitude in My DNA!
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Tom Lake

Read: August 2023

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Tom Lake: A Novel

by Ann Patchett

Today, I began reading Tom Lake by Ann Patchett. The novel beautifully explores family, love, and growing up. Patchett once again proves herself as one of America’s finest writers. Both hopeful and mournful, it explores happiness even when the world falls apart.

The story follows Lara’s three daughters, who return to the family’s orchard in Northern Michigan in the spring of 2020. While picking cherries, they ask their mother about Peter Duke, a famous actor with whom she had a romance years before at a theater company called Tom Lake.

As Lara reminisces, her daughters are confronted with their own lives and relationships with their mothers, leading them to reevaluate everything they thought they knew. With its hopeful and mournful tone, the novel is a testament to the transformative power of understanding what happiness truly means, even amid chaos. Patchett’s compelling narrative artistry and profound insights into family dynamics weave a rich and luminous story, showcasing why she is one of our time’s most revered and acclaimed literary talents.

I have also read Patchett’s Bel Canto, a compelling tale that explores themes of strength, vulnerability, love, and confinement. It ultimately tells an inspiring story of transcendent romance.


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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The Swimmers: A Novel

Read: October 2022

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The Swimmers: A Novel

by Julie Otsuka

The Swimmers: A Novel by Julie Otsuka is a novel about what happens to a group of obsessed recreational swimmers when a crack appears at the bottom of their local pool. This searing, intimate story of mothers and daughters—and the sorrows of implacable loss—is the most commanding and unforgettable work yet from a modern master. I highly recommend The Swimmers: A Novel by Julie Otsuka.

The novel was a page-turner from the first to the last page. It had been on my to-read list for months, and I am happy to start reading The Swimmers: A Novel by Julie Otsuka

Memory loss is a frightening situation for anyone. Ms. Otuska writes powerfully and eloquently about Alice’s loss of her memory. I felt as if it was one of my loved ones.

The Goodreads summary provides an overview,

The swimmers are unknown to one another except through their private routines (slow lane, medium lane, fast lane) and the solace each takes in their morning or afternoon laps. But when a crack appears at the bottom of the pool, they are cast out into an unforgiving world without comfort or relief.

One of these swimmers is Alice, who is slowly losing her memory. The pool was a final stand against the darkness of her encroaching dementia for Alice. Without the fellowship of other swimmers and the routine of her daily laps, she is plunged into dislocation and chaos, swept into memories of her childhood and the Japanese American incarceration camp where she spent the war. Alice’s estranged daughter, reentering her mother’s life too late, witnesses her stark and devastating decline.


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Gifts made this month; I will match dollar-for-dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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I receive a commission when you buy a book or product using a link on this page. Thank you for supporting Sharing Jan’sJan’s Love blog.

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The Covenant of Water

Read: December 2023

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The Covenant of Water

by Abraham Verghese

Today, I began reading The Covenant of Water, the long-awaited new novel by Abraham Verghese, the author of the significant word-of-mouth bestseller Cutting for Stone, which has sold over 1.5 million copies in the United States alone and remained on the New York Times bestseller list for over two years. The Covenant of Water was a holiday gift from Mike, Elyssa, Nick, and Wes.

From 1900 to 1977, The Covenant of Water is set in Kerala, on South India’s Malabar Coast. It follows three generations of a family that suffers a peculiar affliction: in every generation, at least one person dies by drowning—and in Kerala, water is everywhere. At the turn of the century, a twelve-year-old girl from Kerala’s long-existing Christian community, grieving the death of her father, is sent by boat to her wedding, where she will meet her forty-year-old husband for the first time. From this unforgettable new beginning, the young girl—and future matriarch, known as Big Ammachi—will witness unthinkable changes throughout her extraordinary life, full of joy and triumph as well as hardship and loss, her faith and love the only constants.

A shimmering evocation of a bygone India and of the passage of time itself, The Covenant of Water is a hymn to progress in medicine and human understanding and a humbling testament to the difficulties undergone by past generations for the sake of those alive today. It is one of the most masterful literary novels published in recent years.


The Jan Lilien Education Fund sponsors ongoing sustainability and environmental awareness programs. Regarding gifts made this month, I will match dollar for dollar. All donations are tax-deductible.

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Never Forget Our People Were Always Free

Read: March 2024

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Never Forget Our People Were Always Free

by Ben Jealous

Today, I started reading “Never Forget Our People Were Always Free: A Parable of American Healing” by Ben Jealous, the Executive Director of the Sierra Club. The book highlights how the path to healing America’s broken heart begins with each of us having the courage to heal ourselves. According to Mr. Jealous, it would be transformative if every American treated each other as cousins.

Ben Jealous is the son of parents who had to leave Maryland because their cross-racial marriage was illegal.

I briefly met Ben Jealous last May when I went to Washington with the Religious Action Center of Reform Judaism‘s Day of Action. When I saw Mr. Jealous speaking at Temple Emanu-El in neighboring Westfield, I immediately signed up to attend in person. He is an inspiration as an advocate for the environment, civil rights, and the healing of America’s broken heart.

His lively, courageous, and empathetic storytelling calls on every American to look past deeply cut divisions and recognize that we are all in the same boat now. Along the way, Jealous grapples with hidden American mysteries, including:

  • Why do white men die from suicide more often than black men die from murder?
  • How did racial profiling kill an American president?
  • What happens when a Ku Klux Klansman wrestles with what Jesus said?
  • How did Dave Chappelle know the DC Snipers were Black?
  • Why shouldn’t the civil rights movement give up on rednecks?
  • When is what we have collectively forgotten about race more important than what we know?
  • What do the most indecipherable things our elders say tell us about ourselves?

The book Never Forget Our People Were Always Free is told through parables. It features intimate glimpses of political and faith leaders such as Jack Kemp, Stacey Abrams, and the late Archbishop Desmond Tutu. The book also highlights unlikely heroes such as a retired constable, a female pirate from Madagascar, a long-lost Irishman, a death row inmate, and a man with a Confederate flag over his heart.

Never Forget Our People Were Always Free offers readers hope that America’s oldest wounds can heal and her oldest divisions can be overcome.

Although I have only read a handful of pages of the book, I highly recommend it!

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Dream Count

Read: March 2025

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Dream Count: A Novel

by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie

Today, I dove into “Dream Count” by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, and I couldn’t be more excited! A decade in the making, this novel promises to be a captivating journey. Known for her bestselling works like “Americanah” and “We Should All Be Feminists,” Adichie brings her trademark brilliance to this story of four women exploring their loves, longings, and desires. I can’t wait to see how their lives unfold!

Chiamaka is a Nigerian travel writer living in America. During the pandemic, feeling alone, she reflects on her past lovers and grapples with her choices and regrets. Her best friend Zikora, a successful lawyer, faces betrayal and heartbreak, leading her to turn to the person she thought she needed the least. Omelogor, Chiamaka’s bold and outspoken cousin, is a financial powerhouse in Nigeria who begins to question how well she truly knows herself. Meanwhile, Kadiatou, Chiamaka’s housekeeper, proudly raises her daughter in America yet must confront an unimaginable hardship that threatens everything she has worked to achieve.

In “Dream Count,” Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie focuses on these women’s lives in a captivating and profound novel that explores the very nature of love. Is true happiness ever attainable, or is it merely a fleeting state? How honest must we be with ourselves to love and be loved? The story profoundly reflects on our choices and those made for us, mothers and daughters, and our interconnected world. “Dream Count” resonates with emotional urgency and provides poignant, unflinching observations of the human heart, all conveyed in beautifully powerful language. This work reaffirms Adichie’s status as one of contemporary literature’s most exciting and dynamic writers.


Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie grew up in Nigeria. Her work has been translated into more than fifty-five languages. She is the author of the novels “Purple Hibiscus,” which won the Commonwealth Writers’ Prize; “Half of a Yellow Sun,” which was the recipient of the Women’s Prize for Fiction “Best of the Best” award; Americanah, which won the National Book Critics Circle Award; the story collection “The Thing Around Your Neck” and the essays We Should All Be Feminists and Dear Ijeawele, or A Feminist Manifesto in Fifteen Suggestions. Her most recent work is an essay about losing her father, Notes on Grief, and Mama’s Sleeping Scarf, a children’s book by Nwa Grace-James. A recipient of a MacArthur Fellowship, she divides her time between the United States and Nigeria.



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The Garden of Letters

Read: June 2021

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The Garden of Letters

by son Richman

The Garden of Letters by Alyson Richman was one of the first books I read after Jan died. It was the perfect love story to read after the loss of the love of my life. The love Jan and I shared was because we shared a portion of the soul of the other, and thus we were meant for each other from day one. 

The two primary characters – Elodie Bertolotti and Angelo Rosselli – resonated with me as they were also people who shared souls. The book “captures the hope, suspense, and romance of an uncertain era, in an epic intertwining story of first love, great tragedy, and spectacular bravery.

As I turned every page, the story filled my heart with love and happiness as it reminded me of the love that Jan and I shared.

Portofino, Italy, 1943. A young woman steps off a boat in a scenic coastal village. Although she knows how to disappear in a crowd, Elodie is too terrified to slip by the German officers while carrying her poorly forged identity papers. She is frozen until a man she’s never met before claims to know her. In desperate need of shelter, Elodie follows him back to his home on the cliffs of Portofino.

Only months before, Elodie Bertolotti was a cello prodigy in Verona, unconcerned with world events. But when Mussolini’s Fascist regime strikes her family, Elodie is drawn into the burgeoning resistance movement by Luca, a young and passionate bookseller. As the occupation looms, she discovers that her unique musical talents, and her courage, have the power to save lives.

In Portofino, young doctor Angelo Rosselli gives the frightened and exhausted girl sanctuary. He is a man with painful secrets of his own, haunted by guilt and remorse. But Elodie’s arrival has the power to awaken a sense of hope that Angelo thought was lost to him forever.

I not only recommend this book, but I am also looking forward to reading more of her novels.

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